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| Sex and Affection Anything and everything about sex and relations. Please try to keep this forum on-topic, since things tend to wander a bit. Search through old topics before posting a new one, as questions get repeated a lot here. |
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#1
 2008-06-10, 03:21 |
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 Obsessive by nature
Hi Totse. Need to talk to you about something.
I am extremely obsessive by nature, especially when it comes to boys and matters of the heart. One example, I talked to a totsean on msn like twice, and immediately fell in like with him. He disappeared for a good two months, and during this period I became obsessed with him, searching all his posts, asking forums where he frequented what he was like, (semi-)harassed his friend on msn to get more information about him (Sylph can attest to this).
Now I am doing this again, this time with some other totsean. He hasn't been on for about 3-4 days and I just can NOT stop thinking about him. Like, when I am driving, buying food, going to interviews, every time when a thought springs to my mind I imagine telling him and how he'd react. Now this person in my opinion is really cool and everything, however a part of me knows that whatever this "thing" we have does not warrant this kind of obsession. But I just can't stop. Every second spent not talking to him is pure agony. I say without exaggeration that I am addicted to him.
I am worried about myself. I know this isn't normal. And it's not even a real relationship, it's just an online thing. I greatly fear that my obsessive nature will one day be my ruin. I have a feeling when I finally do have a guy, I will scare him away with the abnormal intensity of my feelings for him and its accompanying obsessing.
I thought about seeking help however I doubt it would really help my case. I don't think there's a condition called obsessiveness or that there's a med for it. But furthermore, I am not sure if mine is a real mental condition, or a mere character flaw. The former might be treatable whereas the latter is hopeless, in my opinion.
I don't want to obsess over a guy. I just want to be able to take it easy, sit back, enjoy life, and take things in a stride. But it seems like an almost impossible task to me.
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#2
2008-06-10, 03:24 |
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East Bay, CA (Bay Area)
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Re: Obsessive by nature
don't worry baby, I'm back.
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#3
2008-06-10, 06:49 |
ZeroMalarki 
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Re: Obsessive by nature
fell in like?
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#4
2008-06-10, 06:57 |
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Moderator
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dodging the rain and tractors
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Re: Obsessive by nature
It sounds slightly obsessive but not worryingly so. Online relationships can be more intense than those IRL, especially if there is a chance that they should become RL relationships.
The more you start to trust him, and he gives you reasons to trust him ,the less obsessive you will become. If you don't then you need to worry about a possible character flaw.
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#5
2008-06-10, 07:45 |
NoSkills
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Re: Obsessive by nature
i think it's called being female...
i'm the same way (though i wouldn't go as far as asking other people about the person)
definitely googling them, seeing if they have a facebook page (and whether they've updated) etc. this can happen after a very brief encounter.
i guess you could see it as just a crush, it'll pass. i've spoken to some of my friends (girls) and we all agree that we have a tendency to build someone up in our head even if you've just met them briefly. as long as you don't do anything that makes you look like a stalker or scare the person, don't worry.
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#6
2008-06-11, 03:58 |
absolutecaliber
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Re: Obsessive by nature
immediately fell in like with him
lulz!
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#7
2008-06-11, 04:01 |
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Re: Obsessive by nature
lulz!
lul wut
i am very romantic by nature and i fall in love/like easily
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#8
2008-06-11, 04:13 |
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Moderator
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The fine line between genius and madness
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Re: Obsessive by nature
Most guys would get a kick out of hearing that, as long as you don't go all fatal attraction on them.
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#9
2008-06-11, 04:15 |
absolutecaliber
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Re: Obsessive by nature
lul wut
i am very romantic by nature and i fall in love/like easily
I haven't heard "fell in like" since middle school.
Not criticizing, just observing. And lulzing to a lesser extent.
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#10
2008-06-11, 15:38 |
CarbonB
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Re: Obsessive by nature
Quote:
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Originally Posted by WritingANovel
Hi Totse. Need to talk to you about something.
I am extremely obsessive by nature, especially when it comes to boys and matters of the heart. One example, I talked to a totsean on msn like twice, and immediately fell in like with him. He disappeared for a good two months, and during this period I became obsessed with him, searching all his posts, asking forums where he frequented what he was like, (semi-)harassed his friend on msn to get more information about him (Sylph can attest to this).
Now I am doing this again, this time with some other totsean. He hasn't been on for about 3-4 days and I just can NOT stop thinking about him. Like, when I am driving, buying food, going to interviews, every time when a thought springs to my mind I imagine telling him and how he'd react. Now this person in my opinion is really cool and everything, however a part of me knows that whatever this "thing" we have does not warrant this kind of obsession. But I just can't stop. Every second spent not talking to him is pure agony. I say without exaggeration that I am addicted to him.
I am worried about myself. I know this isn't normal. And it's not even a real relationship, it's just an online thing. I greatly fear that my obsessive nature will one day be my ruin. I have a feeling when I finally do have a guy, I will scare him away with the abnormal intensity of my feelings for him and its accompanying obsessing.
I thought about seeking help however I doubt it would really help my case. I don't think there's a condition called obsessiveness or that there's a med for it. But furthermore, I am not sure if mine is a real mental condition, or a mere character flaw. The former might be treatable whereas the latter is hopeless, in my opinion.
I don't want to obsess over a guy. I just want to be able to take it easy, sit back, enjoy life, and take things in a stride. But it seems like an almost impossible task to me.
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When is your birthday? |
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#11
2008-06-12, 03:26 |
Timothy Thomas '
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Re: Obsessive by nature
To be honest: I think you have some screws loose.
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#12
2008-06-12, 05:44 |
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Re: Obsessive by nature
When is your birthday?
Don't tell me you are into that astrology horseshit too
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#13
2008-06-12, 05:54 |
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Re: Obsessive by nature
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Prometheus
Most guys would get a kick out of hearing that, as long as you don't go all fatal attraction on them.
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What do you mean by "go fatal attraction on someone"?
In any event, I DON'T want to be obsessing over guys, no matter how much it might flatter their ego. It's taking an emotional/psychological toll on me. I can barely focus at work; my mind wanders. I can't function normally.
Obsessions turn me into a mess. |
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#14
2008-06-12, 05:56 |
frizog
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Re: Obsessive by nature
What do you mean by "go fatal attraction on someone"?
In any event, I DON'T want to be obsessing over guys, no matter how much it might flatter their ego. It's taking an emotional/psychological toll on me. I can barely focus at work; my mind wanders. I can't function normally.
Obsessions turn me into a mess.
Good movie. (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093010/)
Reminds me of you WAN.
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#15
2008-06-12, 06:30 |
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Re: Obsessive by nature
Good movie. (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093010/)
Reminds me of you WAN.
I was thinking more this.
http://tinyurl.com/4hsvt7
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#16
2008-06-12, 07:50 |
Lotsagrapes
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Re: Obsessive by nature
Rofl.. "Hobbling"
Good movie.
OP, I suggest expressing your. . . problem into physical affection, if you get an RL boyfriend that is.
Then, they won't give a damn if you're obbsessive.
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#17
2008-06-12, 23:40 |
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Re: Obsessive by nature
You're telling Totseans (mostly puberty ridden teenagers) that)
1) You have breasts.
2) You date over the internet.
3) You have an obsessive personality
4) You're of legal age
... Yeah.
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#18
2008-06-13, 02:29 |
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Moderator
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The fine line between genius and madness
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Re: Obsessive by nature
That's not entirely fair.
There's also a lot of guys that aren't teenagers, but never actually grew up.
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#19
2008-06-13, 06:49 |
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Re: Obsessive by nature
You're telling Totseans (mostly puberty ridden teenagers) that)
1) You have breasts.
Show me where I once said I was female. Go ahead. Do it.
2) You date over the internet.
I said I talked to boys on MSN. Never once did I say I dated over the internet.
3) You have an obsessive personality
And I did that to attract boys because it's SO attractive, right?
4) You're of legal age
This one came out of the left field. No where, and I mean NO WHERE in my post did I mention my age. For all you know, I could be 15 years old.
... Yeah.
You must feel pretty satisfied with yourself now, now that you have performed an accurate psychoanalysis on an stranger over the internet.....NOT. What you did was mere projecting. Look that up, loser.
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#20
2008-06-13, 07:19 |
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Re: Obsessive by nature
You are getting to know a person intellectually before physically, which in my experience can be a lot more fullfilling than the latter.
It's great knowing that you're getting to know a person who doesn't just want you for your body, money, car etc. A person who talks to you and actually wants to get to know you for who you are.
I wouldn't call it obsession. I'd just say you really like this person on an intellectual level.
When you start envisioning boiling his rabbit then you have a problem.
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#21
2008-06-13, 08:15 |
areyouchunkanese
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Re: Obsessive by nature
so....are you a wimminz?
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#22
2008-06-13, 17:48 |
CarbonB
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Re: Obsessive by nature
Don't tell me you are into that astrology horseshit too
Horse shit? Ouch...
What do you mean by "go fatal attraction on someone"?
In any event, I DON'T want to be obsessing over guys, no matter how much it might flatter their ego. It's taking an emotional/psychological toll on me. I can barely focus at work; my mind wanders. I can't function normally.
Obsessions turn me into a mess.
Then you're right, get control over your obsessions and compulsions.
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