"So there's this guy/girl I like.. how do I know if they like me?.."


Probably, most of us on this forum have been in this situation. I've seen so many many threads on this topic, it seems to be a continuing issue.



What I've noticed in regards to myself is when someone on this forum asks what they should do, I find it easy to give advice like "Oh just be yourself!" and other such bs. But.. I guess it's not so easy when it's actually you in the situation, is it?


It's allways hard. When you see someone you like, and you're unsure of what to do or say, or too scared of what they may say, or the repurcussions of your actions.

This needs to be discussed, from all angles.


How a person would approach someone they're drawn to depends on so many things. The situation, the confidence of the person..


EDIT:

Discuss, ever been in this situation?
Did you admire that person from afar untill the infatuation faded ? Did you grow some balls and actually approach that person? If so, how did that go, was it good or bad?
Or, did you quietly admire that person from afar and whinge about it on the internet and see a sad future where you continue to be a coward and get to watch that person end up with someone else?

I tend to do the whinge about it on the internet thing. I'm terrible with people I don't know, and it would be even worse if I actually liked the person.

dasdwdSd

I just treat them like shit and call them names till they cry. If she can't read the signs, she's not worthy.

did you remember to kick her in the shins really hard then run away before anyone can say anything?

How else is a woman supposed to recognize love?

That comes after marriage.

Then come the sammiches.

Then come the sammiches.

Then comes a baby in a baby carriage!

Wellll, there's this one girl... *twirls thumbs*. I'm not sure if she likes me or not *whistles*. I mean we hang out a lot and such, right? *Looks down* We kiss and stuff, and she says these claims that I'm her boyfriend *scratches head*.

I'm confused guys, what could this possibly mean? Does she like me!?

I'm confused guys, what could this possibly mean? Does she like me!?

Nope, just typical female head games. She probably finds you absolutely repulsive, but is saying all of that for some cruel and vindictive ulterior reason.

Basically, I like this girl and I know she has at least some attraction/feelings towards me.
I want to ask her to be my girlfriend.
But to me, the question is awkward. Well maybe not the question but the answer. If she says no it's not that big a deal, life goes on. It's just that if/when I ask her, if she says no, what do I do? Sit there and have an awkward silence? What is a good way of asking or handling this situation?

Ask her then run off? That way you wont have to face the rejection of her saying 'no' and if she says yes she'll come find you.

It's what I plan to do. Go up to the guy, say something lovely and flattering and then scurry off. That way, if he thinks I'm an icky freak he doesent have to do anything. But if he's like "oh, cool!" he can come find me.

Smile and say "OK fair enough, are we still cool?" and when she's all "uh lol yeah" be all "Cool, anyway i'd better get going" then run away and cry.

I'm nominating myself to be the worst judge of wether not a female is actually attracted to me/is wanting a relationship. I think i just make myself to friendly/available which sucks because im naturally a very open and friendly person so to get a girl it seems i have to play those stupid games which i cant stand.

Any reasons as to why females hang out with a guy whos making all the moves only to be not interested ? Or is it simply they just want the attention then go and chase the stereotipical jerk off who has the attitude and the game plan ?

Fucking women.

I am also interested in seeing an answer to this.

"does she like me?", the answer is always no. Kinda sucks, but it beats not knowing

If she has some feelings for you and you know it, isn't that basically some proof that you already have the answer to your question? Unless theres a wrench being thrown in your gears somewhere? Why do you have to ask?

Nope, just typical female head games. She probably finds you absolutely repulsive, but is saying all of that for some cruel and vindictive ulterior reason.

I knew it! I'm going to call her out on and rant and rant and rant!

Then she'll love me, right? Isn't that how it works?

I first want to say that I am white and agnostic. Second, I will post my story because I want to help anyone who was as lost and desperate for advice as I was. I'll try to be curt.

Standard shit. There was a I girl I was infatuated with. I did not know her, perhaps we had spoken once or twice without much depth in the conversation. This had happened before, but for the first time ever, I would really look down on myself if I didn't try this time. I knew I needed to go for it rather than living with regret and thinking myself a coward.

She was so shy, even shyer than I was. This probably explains why she was so much prettier than her friends. She seemed to be interested in male attention but too scared to really pull anything. I thought I could save her, could swoop down and make her mine.

You guys probably know about facebook's honesty box feature. I utilized this to get and idea of how to come at the situation. I asked her how she wanted to be approached by a guy that liked her but didn't know her. Her response contained the tantalizing sentence, "if you do approach me I would like to get to know you."

I remember the first time I tried to talk to her (since there were only a few instances per day where this was possible). I froze behind her, about to speak. Words did not come. This happened a few more times before I ignored my inhibitions and fears.

Eventually I forced myself to start talking to her. I didn't get many opportunities, but when they existed, I tried to jump on them. The dialogue was not interesting, and she seemed disinterested. I realized that if I kept talking to her in the same, ineffectual manner, she would see what was up and I'd just look like a pussy. No. Not happening. I decided to change up my approach.

I would lay it all on the line. I'd tell her that I wanted to get to know her (because we were still essentially stangers). I knew I was probably walking right into failure, but I had to do SOMETHING. I knew to be careful not to ask her out. All I wanted was to come to know her better so that, if things clicked, there might be more.

So I gave it a shot. Her response was tepid at best. I think her exact reply was, "sure... maybe." I knew it was fucked when she said that. It took four months to grow the balls to come to that point, and then I was done. It was both liberating and infuriating. The latter because I she completely blew off what she wrote in the honesty box message. What a bunch of shit. What a lying bitch. I'm not even a bad looking guy either.

Anyway, after I conquered the pussy within, it all became of chance. Would she follow her word or wouldn't she? Sure I got fucked, but there was no way to predict this, and it could have easily worked out in a different way. The lesson is to try. And also, women don't give a shit how their words affect other people. Fuck.

If she has some feelings for you and you know it, isn't that basically some proof that you already have the answer to your question? Unless theres a wrench being thrown in your gears somewhere? Why do you have to ask?

Because she has a boyfriend that she hasn't talked to in 2 weeks, she doesn't have the nerve to break up with him. I know she doesn't like him though. That's really the main thing holding me back.
Thanks to the serious responses. They actually did help me.

How is a story of complete fail going to help anyone in a similar situation to yours?

Because she has a boyfriend that she hasn't talked to in 2 weeks, she doesn't have the nerve to break up with him. I know she doesn't like him though. That's really the main thing holding me back.
Thanks to the serious responses. They actually did help me.

Just find out if she will chill with you somewhere, maybe take her to dinner and talk with her then.

How is a story of complete fail going to help anyone in a similar situation to yours?

So they can weigh consider the risks/rewards of action. Jesus, is that so difficult to figure out yourself, you asshole?

So they can weigh consider the risks/rewards of action. Jesus, is that so difficult to figure out yourself, you asshole?

No, it's just that after reading the beginning of the post I was expecting to read a success story of how you had a problem, and then you did something and solved it.

When I finished reading your story and you basically say that you failed I was kinda surprised, since it was completely unexpected. I mean, as a result of your actions you weren't any better off than where you started. That was a bit weird.

It's like reading a story that goes like:

"So once I needed to connect two pieces of wood with a nail. Now, I'm posting this hoping that it helps someone with a similar problem. So here's my experience.

I took two pieces of wood, and placed one of them under the other. I then took a nail, and positioned it on top of them. I then proceeded to take a hammer. I then took the hammer into my hand, and hit it with all the force I had aiming it into the nail. I missed, however, and the hammer hit the wood next to the nail. I then said 'Fuck you hammer, fuck you nail, fuck you wood', masturbated into a paper cup and went to sleep.

Hope that was helpful."

I liken my experience to reading one of Shakespeare's plays. It is difficult and, when you finish, you are in the same place as you were when you started, but you've picked up a few things along the way, and so of my experience. I gained character rather than the girl, and next time, it will all be easier.

As for your hammer/nail analogy, the two tales are incomparable. Does it take months of trying to man up to hammer a nail? Are you richer for the experience, regardless of whether or not success is achieved?

Sorry man, never mind, I was just being an asshole.

It takes guts to actually take action, and once you do, you realise that it's not a big deal. After that you just keep getting better at the action itself, and finally you begin to succeed.

I apologise again for my arrogance.

Have a good day.

How is a story of complete fail going to help anyone in a similar situation to yours?

I It took four months to grow the balls to come to that point, and then I was done.

Over here buddy.

Well, I'm too fucking clueless to tell when a woman is attracted to me, even when it's obvious to everyone else.

It took me a looooooooooooong time to get to this point, but I've finally realized that if I don't just go up and say something, even if she did like me I'd never find out. Well, short of her climbing up on my lap and humping vigorously. Not that that's happened more than once or twice.

It sucks when she doesn't like you. It sucks worse if you never know.

Sorry man, never mind, I was just being an asshole.

It takes guts to actually take action, and once you do, you realise that it's not a big deal. After that you just keep getting better at the action itself, and finally you begin to succeed.

I apologise again for my arrogance.

Have a good day.+rep to you dude. both for making me lmfao at your analogy and for being able to admit that you were being a dick.

a good way to get a date is to text every girl you know in your phonebook "what u doin tonight baby girl" at least one of ems gotta say yes i mean come on. never done it but its probable that itd work.

Ok, I've got a story to share.

So as some of you know I recently broke up with my ex of 5 months. Then this girl that went to my ex's school asked to be my friend on myspace...I look at her pictures, and she's not bad at all. So I sent her a message and asked if I've met her before.

She said: No, but your ex used my phone to text you

I said: Oh, so whats up?

She: rants about her day (which is good, because it shows she has more interest than the stupid fucks that go "nmu?"

I: Not a lot, can I get your phone number?

Her: yea, lol its xxx, text me sometime.

______________________________

She texts me later that night, told me that she likes talking to me, but fell asleep after about ten messages. (This is good, cuz that means she'll text back in the morning if she wants you to keep talkin to her)

___________________________

She texts me today in school and I asked her if she's outgoing.

She: Yea, we'll have fun this weekend. What do you wanna do? if your ex finds out i'm talking with you she's gonna kill me, haha

Me: yea, haha, we can start out small and see where that goes...

Her: what do you mean?

Me: Like starting out with small stuff and go from there

Her: Oh, what do you mean by small stuff

Me: I didn't wanna say it cuz i didn't know if this is what you're askin me, but fingering if you want.

Her: Oh, I didn't know we were talking about that either, lol.

_______________________________

at this point I feel like a dick for saying that, and I think I made a mistake by even talking like that to her. I apologized, she said to not be sorry about it.
__________________________

She texts me later saying

So, do you wanna do what you were talking about before?

Me: Its up to you (playing it safe)

Her: you're the one who said it

Me: if you want to then yea.

Her: ok :)


TL/DR: Score.

OH MY GOD HUMANS ARE SO CONFUSING!!

At this point I dont know if true telepathy would be awesome because I could read other peoples minds, or if it would be bad because they could read mine.


Hinduwithattitude, thanks for that long story. It was really rather de-moralising, and reminds us all to be carefull and that people generally suck.



I know women can be confusing and complicated, but sometimes.. god.. you men can be just as bad!! Today I got outrageously chatted up by a gay guy and now I'm utterly confused. Atleast, my gaydar was going off for the entirety of the conversation. Creepy.

lulz quotes from yoyo and agent are going into my english paper

Then comes a baby in a baby carriage!

That doesn't mean less sammiches, does it?

dasdwdSd