I have tried masturbating before but I never really did It right. I didn't really grasp my penis I just kinda played with the head. I just figured I couldn't get off and maybe I had some how fucked up my genitalia(kicked to many times in the groin). I was searching masturbation techniques because I wanted to be able to get off my girl friend. Then at the bottom of the page there was how to do guys ,I clicked it anyways I tried grasping my whole penis with my hand squeezing and moving up and down with my thumb on the head.. I got off in 20 seconds. Best feeling ever. My legs almost felt numb.... DEAR GOD THIS WAS GREAT. I plan to do this much MUCH more.

Congratulations?

*slow clap*

Congratulations.

What are you, like 5?

What are you, like 5?
5 + 10

my god.
what the hell is wrong with the world when kids don't know how to jerk themselves off.
you have a girlfriend?

what the hell?

I got "lucky"

I got "lucky"

you're damn right you did.

Obvious troll, tards.

Obvious troll, tards.

This isn't a troll. Check out all my posts. I never troll.


Edit: 3 minutes after this post I got off two more times but now my penis is red and kinda sore.

FUCK, I rubbed a small bit of skin off my dick and it hurts.

ok, thats pushing it.

15 is not the age you first jack off.

ok, thats pushing it.

15 is not the age you first jack off.

Its not the first time. Its the first time I ejaculated, But I am sure I could have done it before if I was doing it right.
I am not the average kid. Does the average kid post on totse?

sadly enough, I've done this before.

You can't jack off until it heals or you risk opening the scab that will appear.

Or have sex or get head. It sucks. Good thing I only masterbated when my bitch was on the rag.

It gets even better after the 1st coupla tries. Did for me anyway. Now i've done it so much I barely care.

15 is not the age you first jack off.

Did some pot-bellied,semi-bald headed strangers do it for you when you are 8 ?

Did some pot-bellied,semi-bald headed strangers do it for you when you are 8 ?

fail.

fail.

sure, when your mom shows you how when you're 5

Does the average kid post on totse?
The troll's got a point.

I remember when I was little and was wondering when man mayo was gonna start to come out. I think I was 14

Numberjumbo approves.

Faptastic?

I've never tried it with the thumb...

you're damn right you did.

You made me lol.

Numberjumbo approves.

Nobody cares if you approve, you're almost as shit a poster as I am.

For some reason the phrase "man mayo" made me crack up.

i remember 2-3 years back, these types of threads were everywhere on totse. they have largely disappeared now.

ahhh.....the memories

i have read many sad/lame threads on totse. this has to take first place.

Nobody cares if you approve, you're almost as shit a poster as I am.
Sir, I'll have you know that I own at prank calls.

lol u scrub... i started jacking off when i was 5, how the hell is ur first time at 15?

We 'needtoknow' this why!!!!!

5 + 10

Hell no. You're probably nine.

When I was a little bitty boy
my grandmother bought me a cute little toy
Silver bells hangin' on a string
she told me it was my ding a ling

My ding a ling, my ding a ling
I want to play with my ding a ling
My ding a ling, my ding a ling
I want to play with my ding a ling

And then mother took me to Grammer School
But I stopped all in the vestibule
Every time that bell would ring
catched me playin' with my ding a ling

Once I was climbing the garden wall
I slipped and had a terrible fall
I fell so hard I heard bells ring
but held on to my ding a ling

Once I was swimming cross Turtle creek
many snappers all around my feet
Shure was hard swimming cross that thing
with both hands holdin' my ding a ling

This here song it ain't so sad
the cutest little song you ever had
those of you who will not sing
You must be playin' with your own ding a ling
My ding a ling

5 + 10

You are a disgrace to people my age.

thats sad..your dick must be midget sized it you hit puberty at 14.

thats sad..your dick must be midget sized it you hit puberty at 14.

6 inches and 2 around.
I never said I hit puberty at 14.

I think this thread is going to come right back around and bite you in the ass.

6 inches and 2 around.
I never said I hit puberty at 14.


lol 6x2...I'm giving you benefit of the doubt that you don't know how to measure.
but 2inches around as in circumference/girth would make you what they call......pencil dick

What you said :

When I was a little bitty boy
my grandmother bought me a cute little toy
Silver bells hangin' on a string
she told me it was my ding a ling

My ding a ling, my ding a ling
I want to play with my ding a ling
My ding a ling, my ding a ling
I want to play with my ding a ling

And then mother took me to Grammer School
But I stopped all in the vestibule
Every time that bell would ring
catched me playin' with my ding a ling

Once I was climbing the garden wall
I slipped and had a terrible fall
I fell so hard I heard bells ring
but held on to my ding a ling

Once I was swimming cross Turtle creek
many snappers all around my feet
Shure was hard swimming cross that thing
with both hands holdin' my ding a ling

This here song it ain't so sad
the cutest little song you ever had
those of you who will not sing
You must be playin' with your own ding a ling
My ding a ling

What I heard :

my grandmother thought I was a cute little boy
with little balls hangin' on beside a string
she told me it was my ding a ling

My ding a ling, my ding a ling
She loves to play with my ding a ling
My ding a ling, my ding a ling
She played alot with my ding a ling

And then mother took me to Grammer School
But I stopped all in the vestibule
Every time my bell needs fondling
I'll let the janitor playin' with my ding a ling

Once I was climbing the 3 feet garden wall
Suddenly a stranger came, pull down my pants and thrust it into my hole
I hurt so hard and I kept on screaming
but I can't run away as he held on to my ding a ling

Once I was swimming cross Turtle creek
with many strangers all grabbing my feet
Shure was hard geting all those thing
with all of them cumin' onto my ding a ling

This here song is just so sad
from the cutest little boy that had been damaged,
I grew up now but I still attend counseling
But I still like to play with my own ding a ling
My ding a ling

What you said

Stop trying so hard.

Stop trying so hard.

Nope, Can't do.

Nope, Can't do.

'Tis the curse of the acolyte.

'Tis the curse of the acolyte.

'tis a regulars' cliche

Congratulations?

*slow fap*

Fix'd

I pass onto thee this sacred parchment. (http://www.jackinworld.com/)

i read the first page and laughed my ass off!!!!!