TL/DR at bottom.

Typical S&A thread.

So, this girl Jessica and I met though a friend. She and my friend had a thing for a little while. He really liked her, she didn't like him back. He stopped talking to her, she got upset and decided to give him a chance, and he didn't want to try it.

Now, Jessica and I started hanging out a lot after we met, going swimming, hanging out at her house with her family, the movies, tickle fights, whatever. I started really liking her. A lot. She is the first girl I've truly liked after my last relationship, which ended about 5 months ago. That relationship was about 2 and a half to 3 years long, if it matters.

One night we were hanging out and we had just got back from swimming and we were sitting in my car. I look over at her, wanting to kiss her. You know the look. The only reason I did not right away is because that was like a day or so after her and my friend stopped talking or whatever...The Bro rule came into play. I didn't want to fuck up a friendship over a girl, so I didn't kiss her.

I had to take the car back to my house at 12pm, since it was my dads, but she asked me to come back over. While dropping the car off, she texts me, and it basically goes like this:

Her: on your way back?
Me: yeah just left
Her: did you want to kiss me in the car?
Me: how did you know?
Her: i could just tell
Me: yeah it was pretty obvious
Her: well, why didn't you? you should have.
Me: you know why, *name of friend*
Her: oh...

So yeah, I get to her house and we're hanging out in her room. I know for a fast I still want to kiss her and all that, she knows it to. So guess fucking what... She starts giving me the fucking puppy dog eyes! The ones that are like, "I am begging you to kiss me." I sit there trying so damn hard to resist her. She is fucking cute. No clue why. She starts looking at my lips, biting her lips, basically teasing me to no end.

I think I held out for about 20 minutes or so. I gave in. I had to. She is just so god damn pretty and I like her a lot. Madeout, the usual, whatever.

So yeah, then I hoped that my friend didn't find out, and if he ever did it was far enough along that he wouldn't care anymore. She has told me and I have told her, if my friend has a problem with us hanging out and all that we'd stop talking to each other. It has never gotten to that point, yet.

Now, this is the point where we know we like each other. Also where the main problems begin. I really like her. You know the feeling. I feel like she's different. I'm smarter than that though! No girl is different. There's just something about Jessica... I'm probably making it up in my head.

So, yeah, we like each other. But here's the catch. Actually, there is multiple catches.

1. She just got out of a 13 month relationship, and she claims she is "not ready" for another relationship.

[I mean, if you actually like someone, you most likely WILL date them, no matter the circumstances.]

2. She's just "not looking".

3. She is afraid of being hurt again.

Fuck girls! Seriously! God damn it I swear all you motherfuckers do is sit back on your nice asses, play with guys for their attention, and be indecisive 24 fucking 7. Holy shit.

She has even gone to the extent of saying I would be a perfect boyfriend and blah this and blah that.

So the other day, I fingered her. Cool. She then starts hinting left and right that we're just friends and all this and starts talking to me about other guys. Fuck. That.

"Bitch, I fucking like you. I actually want to be with you. Don't fucking talk to me about other guys." That is all i want to say to her when she brings anything about guys up.

So, then the next day, dry sex. Cool again.

I know where this is fucking going. She is most likely using me for attention to boost her ego and shit. She teases me, a lot. That is definitely not fucking cool.

Then today, we went swimming at my other friends house. He was out of town with his parents, so it was just me and her. He has a nice ass pool, right on the edge of a golf course. Nice view, all that. We're swimming, she's complaining about how she likes this guy but her friend still likes him so she can't do anything about it which really annoys her.... BLAH FUCKING BLAH. Then she starts talking about how she would like to have a boyfriend or whatever now and I was saying shit hinting in my favor and she blurts out "You're more like a best friend to me."

GOD DAMN IT. WHAT?! I GET FUCKING THROWN INTO THE BEST FRIEND ZONE?

Oh fuck no. I'm so pissed inside. She supposedly likes me and says when she is ready, she might try it out. Well guess what? Apparently she is ready now, and I just became her best friend. Badass. Can't do shit about that, right?

Oh, well then not a half hour later we are laying on a tanning/lawn chair together, drying off. Somehow I end up fingering her and eating her out.

What the fuck?

I'm the only other guy she has messed around with. At all. Her other was that 13 month long relationship. She has actually said she trusts me with that stuff. She is very flirty with other guys, but definitely not slutty. She isn't a bootycall.

So basically I don't know what the hell to do about this. I do not want to stop talking to her completely, that just seems childish to me, but I know that is the only thing that would help completely, as in me getting over her.

I just don't get this shit. Advice/comments. End of rant.

TL/DR:
I like this girl that I met and she starts liking me, we have messed around, and then she throws me in the "best friend" zone. We mess around again and shit. I like her too much to just flat out stop talking to her, but it might be necessary. Advice.

If you're so sure that she's using you for attention, why would you want her as a girlfriend?

Just fuck her, then fuck some other girl. It's what I would do if I had the pimp skillz.

Hold on a minute.

You think you have problems? I haven't been laid since October. The mere mentioning of her puppy dog eyes was giving me a boner as I was thinking of some chick I like.

That's problems.

Just NEXT the bitch and get it over with.

Edit: You know Malark, I haven't gotten any poon since October either, I don't feel so bad now.

What the fuck?

Confusing situation.

First of all, you almost sound like a young couple. Like you fool around, hang out a lot etc. But she messes you about by calling you a friend and talking about other guys.

Look at it this way: Tell her to STFU about other guys to you. That, or start telling her how much you want *insert girls name her* tight pussy. She wont approve of it, so let her know that you don't approve of it.

Tell her that she shouldn't talk about other guys to you, and if she decides to ever pursue a guy, you would really like it if she told you.

Now just keep seeing her. Get her to fall for you. Keep kissing her, licking her clit, and eventually sleep with her. Just keep doing it and practically act like a boyfriend. You've got your bases covered by telling her to STFU about other guys, and to tell you when she decides she wants another one.

So in the mean time, you'll either 'fall into place' as her boyfriend and it will come up. Or she will let you know she's found some one else.

Either way, you get to have some fun and learn along the way.

Oh yeah, it'd also be a pretty good idea to look for other girls already. If she likes other guys, she's one step in front of you in shitty mind games. Make it known you have another girl lined up, so she'll be faced with some jealousy. Hopefully it's too much for her and she asks for you guys to be exclusive. Even if she doesn't say "I want you to be my boyfriend", sleeping with her and you being the only guy she is intimate with is close enough. From there look at working it into a proper boyfriend/girlfriend situation. But not all relationships just start off easy and come about by people going "Will you go out with me?". You're obviously physically attracted to each other, she likes your personality enough to hang out with you heaps, that's like more than half the battle won.

...or at least that's how I'd look at it.

And if all else fails. Fuck some one else and stop ringing her.

I think I just got a little hope from you, arquin. Thanks for that.

I'll probably just start talking about some chick and if she complains say something along the lines of "look, I like you, I definitely do not like you talking about other guys around me." Better work.

Here's the thing though lately, every girl I have talked to recently I have referred to as "some bitch." Jessica? No. Can't do it.

Fucked up...

Now just keep seeing her. Get her to fall for you. Keep kissing her, licking her clit, and eventually sleep with her. Just keep doing it and practically act like a boyfriend. You've got your bases covered by telling her to STFU about other guys, and to tell you when she decides she wants another one.

Stupid idea.

Anyway, I'll admit that I've only read about 2/3rds of your post, but what I saw just screams that she's playing you. The fact that you've actually been put in the dreaded "friend zone" means that you're never going to be her boyfriend. Don't even bother trying. I'm not sure if you've learned this or not, but I (and pretty much every guy that I know) have come to realize that when a girl makes a final decision about what ladder (god I hate that term but it applies) you're on, it isn't going to change.

Stupid idea.

Why?

The woman loves sexual affection. He obviously likes it. She's also good to hang out with. She's said she trusts him. All that's missing is exclusiveness and maybe right now, that's not what she's looking for. Providing he's cool with that, he should just go with it. But chances are when the OP starts going for other girls his woman will probably make it clear she doesn't like it.

What's the solution to that? Sit her down and have a talk to her letting her know you're willing to stop anything that's going on with these other girls as long as she returns the favor.

This is all relying on the fact that she's worth this much effort...

Yeah, but she's not worth it. It's obvious that she's toying with him. He shouldn't waste his time and his sanity trying to pursue a girl like that.

She's not going to magically fall for him and be his girlfriend. At most, AT MOST, they'll be fuck buddies, but the OP wants more than that, and I'll highly doubt she'll allow it, hey, prove me wrong torqueman, I encourage it.

I'm saying this because I've been through a "relationship" exactly like this, and when she's flip-flopping between liking you and then keeping distance, saying she doesn't want a commitment and that you're more of a friend, it's a fucking head trip.

Hmm. I do remember talking about another girl when I was hanging out with her one day. she seemed to get a little upset, but I couldn't tell if she was being serious, or if she was joking. So arquins idea MIGHT work... I guess I will give it a shot.

And prozak_jack, tell us what happened with your past situation, if you don't mind.

Any time she brings up another guy, either tell her to shut up, or just wind her up about another girl.

Why not just be frank?

Next time she talks to another guy, just say "if you're into other people and not me then i don't want to do shit with you anymore. make up your mind"

Don't repress feelings. I'm not saying blowup when she pisses you off, but let her know you're pissed off and why. Don't be afraid to express yourself.

I might just try that also. I haven't really decided yet. She will end up making a big deal about it, which I am trying to avoid for the most part.

If you go through your relationships with women perpetually afraid of them making a big deal about it, you won't get far. Think of it as a Relation Ship; if you don't put on your Captains hat and take the Helm they'll just sort of blindly lead you into an iceberg.

This shit is a bummer I know.

Pretty much, almost the exact thing happened to me. no joke.

then I was kind of like "Fuck this bitch" and I moved on. Just as I was getting to talk to this other girl, my "best friend" came back and pretty much did anything she could to steal me away. It came to me getting jerked off in the pants at lunch, then the other girl saying "She's just using you" while inviting me to fuck her at her sisters house. it was a huge fucking mess and I felt the only way I could get out of it was to cut off all ties with both girls, who were both pissed that i did this to them, they have become friends now and hate my fucking guts to this day.


today, one year later, i deeply regret it. I have not done anything more than finger a girl in the past year. turns out, those 2 chicks fighting over me was a big fluke that will never happen again it looks like. not even one chick wants me half as bad as they did.

the moral of the story is, milk it for all its worth, because

She's young, doesn't want a relationship, and is just using you for her own gratification. Don't eat her out anymore. Make her suck your dick. Stop feeling anything for her. If she actually wanted you to be her boyfriend she wouldn't play these stupid ass games. You'd be her boyfriend already.

She recently got out of a relationship, and you brought up your friend when she wanted you to kiss her. You might've fucked it up, but most likely she just wanted to see if she could manipulate you. She likes your attention. Stop giving it to her and she'll be clamoring for more.

Do not under any circumstances tell her you like her. That gives her the power in the situation; this is bad because she does not actually care about you. She's fucking with you. You need to emotionally detach yourself from her.

Bottom line is that this girl is no good for a girlfriend. Understand that this is how dating works: it's all a bunch of stupid fucking mindgames for the most part. Use this whole experience and learn from it. Try and fuck her just because you're young and it's meaningless anyway. Have as much fun with her as you can. We only live once. You might as well keep going with this whole thing and just take from it what you can.

fucking falcon PUNCH!
thats what she deserves. fuckin CUUUUNT

Fuck her, dont make anything serious with her, dont put down any "anchors" with her. If you can get something out of her thats good but dont go "out a limb" anymore for her. Dont put any effort towards her.

What Fanglekai is golden also.

How old are you guys anyways? Cause younger girls tend to fuck around with that bulshit, like you cant really hold em down if you have feelings for them because they are on the rampage looking to be top shit amongst their social groups.

Yeah, she is young. I expected all of this to happen. I knew it was going to. From day one. I just came here trying to find a way to prevent it or make something better from it.

It just can't happen. I've realized that.

That's happened to me before, I knew her while she was going out with her boyfriend then when they broke up I fucked her and blah blah then she went back to her boyfriend for like a day then tried getting me to go out with her. I just kept hittin' it then moved out of the country and told her like 2 days before I left and i'm like, tough luck, cya :)

She's not going to magically fall for him and be his girlfriend. At most, AT MOST, they'll be fuck buddies, but the OP wants more than that, and I'll highly doubt she'll allow it, hey, prove me wrong torqueman, I encourage it.

Well, I am about to prove you wrong.

2 days ago, I took her to a waterpark. When I first saw her that day, first thing she did was kiss me. This confused me greatly seeing as how she supposedly didn't like me. So, the whole day at the waterpark was spent having a good time. At the end of the day while we were at her house, I told her I was confused about what was going on with our situation. She apologized. That was it.

Yesterday, she brought me into her room and told me she had been thinking. She had this happy look on her face so I kinda had an idea what it was.

We are now dating/together/boyfriend and girlfriend/ whatever you call it.

Totally took me by surprise.

Bump.

To keep this thread going for a bit, I want peoples opinions.

As in, how could a girl go from not wanting a relationship, calling you her best friend, all that shit to wanting a relationship with you, all in one day?

I have noticed she changes her mind a LOT about things. I'm hoping she won't about us. I have told her that too, and says she won't. I'm still kinda iffy about it though.

Another point, lately I have noticed something about the "friend zone." It seems to not exist lately, every girl I know has gone out with a guy that they have been good friends with. Sure, sometimes it doesn't work out, but for the most part it has.

Well most people don't fuck/eat out/go down on their bestfriend, or even good ones...

This is really less like those kind of 'we're friends and I like her but how do I know what to do/act on' scenes, and more like 'we've had sloppy hookups but can't really decided where to go'.

Thatttttt being said, she may choose to let you go again, it does seem like its in her nature to do things contradictory or sponteniously to whatevers happening.

Bottom line, money over bitches.

she sounds like a sociopath..

If you really know what your doing that "friends" term will be used in place of fuck buddy etc. until more is established if possible. Sort of like keeping it low key or between the cracks....

If you are saying what I think you are, no need.

We are dating now.

If you are saying what I think you are, no need.

We are dating now.

She just wants to fuck you, so fuck her.

We are now dating/together/boyfriend and girlfriend/ whatever you call it.

Nice one, I wouldn't have expected that to happen, but then again I have a very jaded view on women.

Nice one, I wouldn't have expected that to happen, but then again I have a very jaded view on women.

Oh trust me, so do I. This was the last thing I expected. It came out of no where, really.

God damn it. I thought I could let this thread rest in peace.

So, today is Friday. The 13th. Exactly what I feared happened today. Coincidence? My answer is yes.

She changed her fucking mind. Again.

I swear to god every time you start caring too much you get fucked right in the ass. Not in a pleasurable way, either.

Fuck girls. Literally. That is all they are good for.