I'm feeling so upset at the moment and I feel like I can't talk to anyone about it.
One of my best friends, when he gets stressed out, he takes it all out on me and gives me a real emotional beating. I always tell him that he does it but he swears blind he doesn't. Every time he's in a mood, I will get it in the neck.

I understand he's stressed out, but I'm having a really hard time too. Sometimes I tell him things about himself that he doesn't want to hear. People need to hear these things sometimes! It's part of being a good friend. I didn't want him to have a shock about something that was going to happen sooner or later. He absorbed this, and then the next mood he was in he threw it all back at me and raised his voice and was shouting down the phone at 3am, or something.
I asked him to please not speak over me and to not shout because I can hear him, and I was adamant that I would not let him hear me cry, but when he didn't, it all came out.
Don't get me wrong, he is the loveliest person when he's not in one of these moods. They don't happen often exactly, just too much to ignore. He is always telling me he loves me to death and would never want to hurt me, and I believe him, I love him too. When I tell him that he's hurt me he never accepts it and it always ends up being my fault.

I don't think I can deal with this anymore - I'm in a really fragile state emotionally at the moment. I've told him that if he is in a bad mood to not even speak to me, because I never seem to help and I always get a bashing. He insists that I'm the best friend anyone could ever have, but he still does this to me?

I love him but I am too delicate at the moment to deal with the other side of him. I don't know how what to do.

Umm I had a friend just like that......Widen your circle, distance is a safe place to be.

Moody fucks just get worse the more they think they have control.

Emotional vampire.

NO ONE has the right to use you as a 'whipping boy' and you're stupid to let him get away with.

Sorry if thats harsh but its the truth and you know it.

Put the phone down on him next time shouts. No ifs or maybes. He has to learn to work through his anger without dumping it on you.

Agreed. Hanging up on someone is a pretty bold statement and can get the message across. Or, it will just push him over the edge and he'll come murk your sorry ass and dump you into the river... a risk you'll have to take if you want respect.

Fucking cold shoulder him.

A true man you have there wires. He bottles up everything until he explodes and lets out all his frustration on someone who doesn't deserve it. That's what makes us human, that's how we killed the dinosaurs.

1). Call his mum on your mobile.
2). Connect the handset of the phone through which he's shouting at you, with your mobile, connecting the opposite ends.
3). ???
4). Profit.

Don't do it though, it won't do anyone any good.

Tolerance is a wonderful thing, but sometimes we all have to step back and realize that some things shouldn't be tolerated.

You know that you can always get a gold of me.

Some people can't handle a dose of reality. It's too bad, but a person can only take so much.

It's very easy to offer the words, but far more difficult to put them into action.

A little selfishness can be a good thing.

...went back to the old name?

I have bipolar (and also have bpd, but I don't think it enters the equation in this case), and what you described above sounded almost identical of how I used to be pre-treatment.

When I was still living at home when I was 18, 90% of the time I was the token good guy. I was a polite, fun-loving guy. However, if something set me off (which can be a myriad of scenarios). I used to yell, scream and swear at everyone and afterwards I had little/no recollection of it or being so bad. This is often referred to as a rage black-out. I swore until I was blue in the face that I wasn't as bad as everybody was making me out to be and refused to see a doctor. It took my then-girlfriend to video tape me of how exactly what I was like at my worst and she re-played it back to me when I was back to my normal self.

Upon viewing the footage, I almost shat myself and couldn't apologize enough to everybody who I had hurt.

I went to the doctor that day and was diagnosed with bipolar and underwent treatment.

I'm extremely vexed at a lot of the comments in this thread calling him an "emotional vampire" and all these other negative comments. Punishing him or giving him the cold shoulder will not help. It will aggravate him and perhaps even turn him against you because after all, he does not think he is that bad. He cannot help it and I hope to fuck that the lot of these drop kicks in this thread can comprehend that.

You should not isolate somebody in need of treatment. You know he doesn't mean it, you know he loves you and does not want to hurt you. I'm not diagnosing his condition here but it just sounds an awful lot like me.


At the same time, you are not an emotional whipping post, nor should you ever have to be. If he doesn't seek help, if you can, record one of his phone conversations to you and when he isn't manic (or whatever condition he may have), play it back to him. I will put my money on he will have a similar reaction as I did.

Dealing with mental illness' in love ones can be extremely testing. Don't give up on him. If people gave up on me I know I'd be a homeless drug addict in a dark ally shooting heroin right now. That's where I was heading.

He fails to recognize his problem, or even to take your feelings into consideration if it means admitting personal weakness on his part. No matter how much he says he values you, a true and understanding friend would listen to your concerns, and make an effort to fix their bad behavior. This dude is a self-serving twat, despite however sweet his demeanor may be.

I'd begin associating with him less. People like this are not trustworthy or "wise", and tend to be emotional vampires as was said. Emotional vampires should be avoided like the plague.

Sweetness has it's limit (besides, it's likely self/ego-driven, purely out of a desire to be "liked" so his self is reaffirmed?) I wouldn't drop him entirely, but make it clear you're not going to tolerate having a close relationship any more if he keeps it up.