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My God Can Beat the Shit Out of Your God For discussing any and all religious viewpoints. Intolerance will not be tolerated. Keeping your sense of humor is required. Posting messages about theological paradoxes is encouraged.

 
 
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  #1   Add Gold n Green to your ignore list  
Old 2008-06-06, 09:16
Gold n Green Gold n Green is offline
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cryptome.org cryptogon.com
Default I'm thinking of becoming JW

So I'm thinking of becoming Jehova's Witness.

Seriously.

I haven't really been in to religion much lately apart from still constantly believing in God.

So anyway, some JW's were doing the door knock and I decided to talk to them.

They taught me that in the Bible it says

Quote:
"The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons.
Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron.
They forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth.
For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer. "

1 Timothy 4: 1 - 5
Yet the Catholic church forbids priests to marry, and tells us not to eat meat on Good Friday, and that you go straight to Heaven or Hell, which clearly isn't in the Bible.

They appear to stay true to the cause these JW's.
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  #2   Add Iehovah to your ignore list  
Old 2008-06-06, 15:42
Iehovah Iehovah is offline
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Michigan
Default Re: I'm thinking of becoming JW

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gold n Green View Post
So I'm thinking of becoming Jehova's Witness.

Seriously.

I haven't really been in to religion much lately apart from still constantly believing in God.

So anyway, some JW's were doing the door knock and I decided to talk to them.

They taught me that in the Bible it says

Yet the Catholic church forbids priests to marry, and tells us not to eat meat on Good Friday, and that you go straight to Heaven or Hell, which clearly isn't in the Bible.

They appear to stay true to the cause these JW's.
Nice, at least if it doesn't go well, you can always write a book about your experiences with door-to-door [strike]nuisance-making[/strike] evangelizing. It would be entertaining, no doubt.
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  #3   Add TheMessiahComplex to your ignore list  
Old 2008-06-06, 17:01
TheMessiahComplex TheMessiahComplex is offline
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Default Re: I'm thinking of becoming JW

My girlfriend's mom was a Jehovah's Witness. At the very least, she says it's a very tight knit community and all the members are very helpful to each other and each other's families so it's got that going for it. Which is nice.
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  #4   Add ArmsMerchant to your ignore list  
Old 2008-06-06, 18:09
ArmsMerchant ArmsMerchant is offline
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Wasilla, Alaska
Default Re: I'm thinking of becoming JW

Don't forget, according to their lights, the Muslim suicide bombers are also staying "true to the cause".

Accept what you will, but I would suggest listening to your heart, wherein all wisdom resides, as opposed to buying into what someone wrote in some so-called holy book.
__________________
"Love is infallible; it has no errors, for all errors are the want of love." -- William Law
"The astrolabe of the mysteries of God is Love." -- Rumi
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  #5   Add I R 1337 to your ignore list  
Old 2008-06-07, 08:34
I R 1337 I R 1337 is offline
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Unhappy Re: I'm thinking of becoming JW

If all is well with God, then just go smoke some pot. Or actually... eat it. Or eat some mushrooms. Or take some Peyote. After all, they did say that
Quote:
They forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth. For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer.
Just make sure you pray before, right?


Now on a more serious note...
Quote:
Accept what you will, but I would suggest listening to your heart, wherein all wisdom resides, as opposed to buying into what someone wrote in some so-called holy book.
This.
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  #6   Add redzed to your ignore list  
Old 2008-06-07, 10:09
redzed redzed is offline
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OZ
Default Re: I'm thinking of becoming JW

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gold n Green View Post
So I'm thinking of becoming Jehova's Witness.

Seriously.

I haven't really been in to religion much lately apart from still constantly believing in God.

So anyway, some JW's were doing the door knock and I decided to talk to them.

They taught me that in the Bible it says



Yet the Catholic church forbids priests to marry, and tells us not to eat meat on Good Friday, and that you go straight to Heaven or Hell, which clearly isn't in the Bible.

They appear to stay true to the cause these JW's.
How are they any different to the RC's? They use the same book! Albeit one they have 'interpreted'. Once met an ex-jw who had been excommunicated and now her own mother will cross the road rather than speak with her! Where's the love in that?

Google: ex-jw, make an informed choice
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  #7   Add Gold n Green to your ignore list  
Old 2008-06-07, 10:35
Gold n Green Gold n Green is offline
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cryptome.org cryptogon.com
Default Re: I'm thinking of becoming JW

Well considering I am a divine being I suppose it doesn't matter what religion I choose, if I stay true to the cause I will still get my reward.

God gives me the hardest fucking tasks though. And if I don't do them I get grounded. And by grounded I mean stuck on earth FOREVER.

You fags wrecked my planet. It was so good before, with all the peace and harmony.

It was just like Bambi, with friendly talking animals, but without the hunters and fires.

And the chicks were way hotter and more naked.
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  #8   Add Knight of blacknes to your ignore list  
Old 2008-06-07, 14:28
Knight of blacknes Knight of blacknes is offline
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Default Re: I'm thinking of becoming JW

Think for yourself, you dont need others to tell you what religion means nor what God is. Noone has ever met him and returned so noone can tell you whats real and whats not. Besides you don't need ohters, religion or God to live a good righteous live. Morals are what you make of them and you don't need religion to be a good man.
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  #9   Add keybear to your ignore list  
Old 2008-06-07, 15:00
keybear keybear is offline
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Between space and time.
Default Re: I'm thinking of becoming JW

Quote:
Originally Posted by ArmsMerchant View Post
Muslim suicide bombers
That is a oxymoron.

Anyways to the OP, maybe you should take a look at Islam. Go to authentic sources and read up on the holy Quran ,Sunnah and authentic Hadiths.

Read up on the prophet Muhammed and his life.

Don't forget to look past all the hate, anger and lies surrounding Islam at the moment. Always look things up if you are unsure about something or go to the local mosque and ask a educated Muslim imam.

If you do decided to study Islam and decide to obtain a The holy Quran, then try to buy the English translation, translated by Abdullah Yusuf Ali.

Good Luck.
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  #10   Add Issue313 to your ignore list  
Old 2008-06-08, 01:21
Issue313 Issue313 is offline
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Land of the Ires.
Default Re: I'm thinking of becoming JW

Quote:
whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron.
Dramatic analogy, but I don't get it.
Quote:
They forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods,
Having a go at the Jews or the pagans or someone? Christians suck.
Quote:
For everything God created is good,
AIDs, Leprosy, ebola, radiation?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Gold n Green View Post
Yet the Catholic church .... tells us not to eat meat on Good Friday,
and that you go straight to Heaven or Hell, which clearly isn't in the Bible.
Fasting is a standard religious practice, even Jesus went out into the desert for 40 days or something on a fast. We still have lent in some countries. Fasting one day a year doesn't sound too bad, get over it you pussy.

Heaven and Hell you have a point, but why join a cult just because of that some assholes think?
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  #11   Add Chimro to your ignore list  
Old 2008-06-08, 03:24
Chimro Chimro is offline
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Default Re: I'm thinking of becoming JW

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gold n Green View Post
Yet the Catholic church forbids priests to marry, and tells us not to eat meat on Good Friday, and that you go straight to Heaven or Hell, which clearly isn't in the Bible.
JWs believe a lot of stuff that isn't in the Bible either and they've been wrong at predicting the apocalypse -- something the Bible discredits anyway -- about a hundred times.

Keep the Bible as your final authority rather than any specific denomination -- all of which contain the flawed doctrines of men.
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  #12   Add redzed to your ignore list  
Old 2008-06-08, 23:41
redzed redzed is offline
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OZ
Default Re: I'm thinking of becoming JW

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chimro View Post
JWs believe a lot of stuff that isn't in the Bible either and they've been wrong at predicting the apocalypse -- something the Bible discredits anyway -- about a hundred times.

Keep the Bible as your final authority rather than any specific denomination -- all of which contain the flawed doctrines of men.
This is where all the many cults fail IMHO. They take a shot at the RC's and say they are corrupt and then continue to use and regard the RC's original choice of the books of the bible as a "final authority". WTF!? Do you not think the RC's choice of books may also be somewhat flawed?
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  #13   Add Issue313 to your ignore list  
Old 2008-06-08, 23:50
Issue313 Issue313 is offline
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Land of the Ires.
Default Re: I'm thinking of becoming JW

Quote:
Originally Posted by redzed View Post
This is where all the many cults fail IMHO. They take a shot at the RC's and say they are corrupt and then continue to use and regard the RC's original choice of the books of the bible as a "final authority". WTF!? Do you not think the RC's choice of books may also be somewhat flawed?
That's the best point I've seen in MGCBTSOOYG in quite a while.
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  #14   Add Starsword to your ignore list  
Old 2008-06-11, 06:30
Starsword Starsword is offline
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Humboldt State University
Default Re: I'm thinking of becoming JW

The JW have falsely predicted the end of the world almost as many times as people on IFIOTW cry "old." In other words, a great many times.

They believe that all governments, organizations, churches, etc. are of Satan. All but one, big guess which one it is. For this reason, they will not give their allegiance to any organization.

They are most famous for having nothing to do with blood in any way. That is, they will not touch it, they won't eat an animal that hasn't been bled out, and they won't accept blood transfusions. All this is because of one of the million little rules in Leviticus that says so. I think it's really stupid.

My opinion? They are more wrong than right. My advice, freely offered, is to stay away.
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 #15 
Old 2008-06-19, 10:39
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cryptome.org cryptogon.com
Default Re: I'm thinking of becoming JW

It was a horrible cult. You were right. Some of the chicks were good looking though, HOWEVER, kissing is frowned upon until marriage. WHAT?

Also, I was told that they don't do the 10 Commandments or Sabbath as it is all OT, and the only commandments they have is love thy neighbour and love God.

Then I asked them why they are anti fags when that isn't mentioned by Jesus.

I don't think they liked me.

I won't go again, it really is brainwashing school.

Oh yeah and after they said they don't do the OT they started reading Genesis and Daniel (that's OT right?) and other crap too. More contradictions than the Bible.
 #16 
Old 2008-06-22, 05:43
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Default Re: I'm thinking of becoming JW

funny thing is replace jw with catholic n this would be 9 pgs with mostly flames
  #17   Add l33t to your ignore list  
Old 2008-06-22, 08:17
l33t l33t is offline
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Default Re: I'm thinking of becoming JW

My grandma is one, they're annoying as fuck, how about no religion at all?
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  #18   Add dirk to your ignore list  
Old 2008-06-28, 22:49
dirk dirk is offline
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australia
Default Re: I'm thinking of becoming JW

Do it ,if you are curious the only way is to find out for yourself
and make your own judgments.
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  #19   Add BrokeProphet to your ignore list  
Old 2008-06-28, 23:27
BrokeProphet BrokeProphet is offline
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Default Re: I'm thinking of becoming JW

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gold n Green View Post
They appear to stay true to the cause these JW's.
As a JW you will be forbidden to do many, many, many things one of paramount concern should be the forbiddence to educate yourself.

http:../../www.bible.ca/jw-internet.htm
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  #20   Add Savin_Jesus to your ignore list  
Old 2008-06-29, 04:01
Savin_Jesus Savin_Jesus is offline
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Some where over the Rainbow
Default Re: I'm thinking of becoming JW

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gold n Green View Post
So I'm thinking of becoming Jehova's Witness.

Seriously.

I haven't really been in to religion much lately apart from still constantly believing in God.

So anyway, some JW's were doing the door knock and I decided to talk to them.

They taught me that in the Bible it says



Yet the Catholic church forbids priests to marry, and tells us not to eat meat on Good Friday, and that you go straight to Heaven or Hell, which clearly isn't in the Bible.

They appear to stay true to the cause these JW's.

What cause? If by cause you mean going to peoples doors and whoring your religion. then sure, they do a pretty good job.

But god also doesn't appreciate when you sell him door to door. :/
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