my girlfriend is scared to have sex because of the risk of getting pregnant. we've been together off and on, god, over a year now, have done everything but good ol' sex, and are very close to each other emotionally. she's a virgin, but i know she's ready in that sense, she's just scared about the whole baby thing. i'm not the luckiest son of a bitch in the world, and it honestly wouldn't surprise me if we became one of those rare instances of pregnancy, even after doing "everything right."

so i don't know what to do about this. i obviously can't guarantee her anything. she's not on the pill, i told her she should start as it would give her more peace of mind than just a condom. but...like i said, i don't know what else to do.

she's not on the pill.

So, uhh... what's the hold up? Did she tell you exactly why she's not willing to go on it?

So, uhh... what's the hold up? Did she tell you exactly why she's not willing to go on it?

just circumstances i guess. though being away at college like we are now (well, for another couple of days anyway) seems to me to present the best opportunity. planned parenthoods are falling out of the trees down here, so she wouldn't have to have any awkward conversation with her mom about going to the doctor's. and as i understand it, it's pretty affordable. like $30 a month from PP? hell i'd pay for it myself at this point.

just circumstances i guess. though being away at college like we are now (well, for another couple of days anyway) seems to me to present the best opportunity. planned parenthoods are falling out of the trees down here, so she wouldn't have to have any awkward conversation with her mom about going to the doctor's. and as i understand it, it's pretty affordable. like $30 a month from PP?

I have no idea how much it costs.

But yeah, it's probably your best bet.

http://www.publicmediacenter.org/images_assets/coat_hanger_full.jpg

Planned parenthood gives out free birth control pills, as long as you get a gyno exam from them, which is also free. Tell her to check it out.

If she is on the pill AND you wear a condom, you'll be A-okay. But it sounds to me like she ISN'T really ready to have sex with you, and is using this as an excuse. Consider that.

But it sounds to me like she ISN'T really ready to have sex with you, and is using this as an excuse. Consider that.

This also sounds quite possible.

If it winds up being the case, then promptly replace her. She's defective.

1. Bring up anal
2. Buy a lot of lube
3. .........?????
4. Profit

But seriously #1

--Vargev--

Here:

Have her go on the Pill + Wear a condom +After sex, have her go get the Day after pill = No baby.

birth control pills are not free from planned parenthood. i looked it up before..let me check again...

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control/birth-control-pill-4228.htm#get

plus she says she would feel weird about going behind her mom's back and going on the pill without her knowing. i'm not sure how her mom would react to her saying she wants to go on the pill, she's pretty conservative in that respect.

she's not using this as an excuse. i don't even bring the topic of sex up, she does. so it's not like i'm pressuring her or bothering her about it.

pill and excuses aside, this is a phobia at its core. so how does one cure this phobia? even if we have sex once, wait until she gets her period and then say "see? nothing happened" that still doesn't cure it.

doesn't the morning after pill make you very sick for a few days?

shes not worried about getting pregnant, shes worried about your filthy diseased cock, urinary tract infection and a yeast infection from just looking at it

doesn't the morning after pill make you very sick for a few days?

I mean it depends.

I've taken it around 3-4 times and I have never gotten sick. You just have to make sure you have something to eat when you take it.

oh sorry my mistake then.

Just tell her even if she does get pregnant, a trip down a flight of stairs doesn't hurt that much.

Being so afraid of pregnancy that you don't want sex would suck.

And I had my first child at 17. ^^

OP, maybe she doesn't want to do it. Have you taken that into consideration?

OP, maybe she doesn't want to do it. Have you taken that into consideration?

What self respecting male would take that into consideration?

What are you, some of kind of self loathing feminist supporting douchefag?

What self respecting male would take that into consideration?

What are you, some of kind of self loathing feminist supporting douchefag?

lol no. Far from it. I had trouble with some girl and she said the same thing OP's chick is saying. Turns out she just didn't want to do it. She was scared or something. So I ignored her for about a while and then she came back.

*thumbs up*

lol no. Far from it. I had trouble with some girl and she said the same thing OP's chick is saying. Turns out she just didn't want to do it. She was scared or something. So I ignored her for about a while and then she came back.

*thumbs up*

Did you penetrate her extra vehemently for dicking around?

I hope so.

Did you penetrate her extra vehemently for dicking around?

I hope so.

She looked fucken hot, but I told her she looked like a nerd. She had a school girl uniform and we were drinking. That day was pretty sick.

http://cookingforbrevitt.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/03/19/thumbs_up.jpg

OP, you shouldn't have a girlfriend. Those get annoying.

What self respecting male would take that into consideration?

What are you, some of kind of self loathing feminist supporting douchefag?

The point is to recognize if she in fact does want to have sex or not, so that if it turns out she doesn't, then the OP can dump the ho.

Because if she doesn't, then she's a manipulative bitch for making up excuses to avoid sex.

Manipulative + frigid = worst kinda chick there is.

OP, you shouldn't have a girlfriend. Those get annoying.

QFT!!

The point is to recognize if she in fact does want to have sex or not, so that if it turns out she doesn't, then the OP can rape the ho.

Fixed.

She'll love it halfway through too, we all know it.

Fixed.

She'll love it halfway through too, we all know it.

Works for me. :D

tl/dr, but really if she's so afraid of getting knocked up, she's not mature enough for sex yet.

1. Bring up anal
2. Buy a lot of lube
3. drug her and let your friends get anal for 20 a pop.
4. Profit!!!!!!
--

fixed for money

Shut the fuck up, and then wait for her to tell you when she's ready.

well i see once again totse doesn't get it. it's like you guys specialize in skimming through posts without actually reading and understanding what has been said. sometimes i think i'm the only one who reads things here.

k.

i have to bump this because you sir, are an idiot. if your beez doesnt want to have sex because she is so paranoid about getting pregnant, she flat out does NOT want your penis in or around her exposed vagina. get over it.

i have to bump this because you sir, are an idiot. if your beez doesnt want to have sex because she is so paranoid about getting pregnant, she flat out does NOT want your penis in or around her exposed vagina. get over it.

saying that implies "she doesn't WANT to have sex with you. even if you two could go into a magical world where pregnancy was guaranteed 100% not to happen, she'd be like no."

but that's not the problem here, and you saying it is doesn't help me at all. completely fucking different situation.

or you can skim my posts and think you know more about my girlfriend than i do.

saying that implies "she doesn't WANT to have sex with you. even if you two could go into a magical world where pregnancy was guaranteed 100% not to happen, she'd be like no."

but that's not the problem here, and you saying it is doesn't help me at all. completely fucking different situation.

or you can skim my posts and think you know more about my girlfriend than i do.

well doesnt it seem a little ridiculous that you think she is ready to have sex but she still wont because there is less than a 3 percent chance to get her pregnant with a condom?

dude honestly you gotta look at the big picture.
either

A. she is NOT ready to have sex and if this is the case you are gonna have to sit back and settle for blowjobs which in my opinion arent half bad

or

B. she flat out doesnt want you to be the one to take her virginity. shitty to think about i know but it may be the reason.


and man, i didnt say i know more about her than you do because really i do not. all i know is that there are only a few reasons for her to not want to have sex and if she is this afraid of it then when will she ever get over that fear?

maybe she wants to wait for marriage?

if you really care about her more than sex stay with her. itll happen eventually bro.



and the day after pill (ive been told) makes the lady feel like shit for the morning. not days. completely worth it too man. maybe take some initiative and go get one yourself if your PP lets you, the guy, buy them. i know mine dont and ive had my girl cousin buy one for me to give to one of my exes to calm her nerves before we had sex.

best of luck

Well good, she should be worried about getting pregnant from sex. However, she's not worried about as much as paranoid.

Go out and buy a case of Plan B, something that you should always have in case of an emergency.

Other than that, condoms are 99.99% effective or something crazy like that when used correctly. Go out, buy a couple singles of different brands and sizes. See which one fits snugly, but not too tight and buy more of that kind.

well doesnt it seem a little ridiculous that you think she is ready to have sex but she still wont because there is less than a 3 percent chance to get her pregnant with a condom?

no, not really.

other reasons are irrelevant because if that was the case, she would just tell me that and i'd be like "ok" because i don't give a shit if we have sex or not.

i ask you guys about a serious phobia issue with her and you attack me because you want to assume i suck and can't see that it's some other reason why she doesn't want to. i already know the fucking reason, that is unrelated to the topic.

"Girlfriend worried about getting pregnant from sex "

Well, being as it's just about the only way to get pregnant, I'd say your girlfriend has a reasonable apprehension. As they say, don't do the crime if you can't do the time. (Who the fuck are they?!?)

Read more of the thread. You didn't really express in your OP that this is a case of extreme fear. Is it seriously just the fear of pregnancy? And if so, why is she afraid of pregnancy? Does she think you'd leave her? Does she think you would be a shit father? Or her a shit mother? Is she 'children need to be raised in marriage'? You need to figure out what the root of the problem is...and if it's something you can accept, just accept it for what it is until she's ready to work it out.

Either way, best of luck.

B. she flat out doesnt want you to be the one to take her virginity. shitty to think about i know but it may be the reason.

OP, just reiterating here that you need to make absolute sure that this isn't the case. And I'm not trying to flame you you or insult you, I'm trying to help you. Just keep this possibility in mind if all else seems to fail.

If she is doing this, then you need to dump her PRONTO. She is a deceitful, manipulative skank if that is the case. And why would you want to be with someone like that?

The reason this explanation is becoming more and more likely is because it's either that, or your girlfriend has one hell of a paranoia issue. Like some kind of pregnancy phobia. I mean, I'm pretty damn paranoid about getting some chick knocked up, but it's not even close to this.

It really sounds like there's something more going on here. And you really shouldn't stand for it if there is.

There are plenty of other girls out there who won't lie and who will be more than happy to have sex.

no, not really.

other reasons are irrelevant because if that was the case, she would just tell me that and i'd be like "ok" because i don't give a shit if we have sex or not.

i ask you guys about a serious phobia issue with her and you attack me because you want to assume i suck and can't see that it's some other reason why she doesn't want to. i already know the fucking reason, that is unrelated to the topic.

my man. im telling you what i see. you come to totse for help and say your girlfriend is afraid to have sex. you didnt say she has a legit PHOBIA with it

and for help for you, you gotta set it up perfect. maybe have a movie noght with her at your pad, make it really comfortable. make sure you have a condom, day after pill, spermicidal lube, and definitely some alcohol. get drunk with her, start the foreplay. then when the time comes pull the condom out, she may not say no. if she does, bring out the spermicidal lube and show her the DA pill.

if she still says no you really need to consider the alternatives.




and i never attacked you bro it just sounds like she doesnt want to fuck.
and you obviously do care if you guys have sex because you made a thread on an internet forum about it.

Read more of the thread. You didn't really express in your OP that this is a case of extreme fear. Is it seriously just the fear of pregnancy? And if so, why is she afraid of pregnancy?

...

the fucking first sentence i wrote was "my girlfriend is SCARED to have sex because of the risk of getting PREGNANT." how much clearer could i make it out to be that this is about a fucking irrational phobia and not some "oh dude she aint ready, dump her ass" high school bull SHIT.

to answer your other question, we're college students. neither one of us is ready for kids. i suppose the prospect of ruining her plans in life and have to worry about taking care of some kid is scary enough to say sex isn't worth it.

god fuck you guys, really.

gadzooks, me and her have been together in some form for over a year now. we love each other and yes, she's 19, she's ready to fucking do it, and she wants to fucking do it with me. i'm positive on that.

smok, i don't know how i could've made it any clearer that this was a phobia. i only talked about it a million god damn times.

can i get some expert mods in here or something? females perhaps?