So I have a bit of a problem with my current girlfriend. We're just starting to sleep together now, but sometimes at night I'm kinda gassy. When I'm on my own I'll just bust ass as I please, but I'm not comfortable enough around her to do that yet. So when she stays the night, I find myself in a dilemma. What do you guys do when you have to fart but your partner is hanging around?

Something like Gas-X/Bathroom if your too uncomfortable.

People do it, guys and girls, so it shouldn't really matter once your sleeping together.

wtf girls dont fart retard

I don't eat shitty food and avoid the problem altogether.

pun.:)

this.

avoid, cheese, meat, beans and dairy.


However cheese and meat are unavoidable as you're canadian.


I just let it rip, i've been comfortable enough to fart around most of the girls i've been with.

avoid, cheese, meat, beans and dairy.

wtf else is there to eat? Just veggies and fruit?

wtf else is there to eat? Just veggies and fruit?

yeah and pasta.

wtf else is there to eat? Just veggies and fruit?

Seriously, I cant imagine not eating meat. If there's no meat, I cant eat.

Seriously, I cant imagine not eating meat. If there's no meat, I cant eat.

I feel the same way.

If you're already sleeping with this girl, then you should be comfortable enough to fart around her.

Let it rip.

Walk away and do it. What the fuck is your problem? You want to do that vile shit around someone you care about? Force them to inhale in the vapors of your shit? Fuck off.

Farting around your girlfriend is a touchy subject. The way I got around it with my girlfriend was really kind of funny. She and I were fooling around and she was laying on top of me and the way she shifted her weight caused me to fart. She started to laugh hysterically and I felt so embarrassed/ashamed. She told me that she is lactose intolerant and she'd had some sour cream on her baked potato earlier. She started laughing because she thought it was her at first, and then she realized that she didn't feel anything. We both had a good laugh about it. I still try to hold it in when necessary but if it's painful, I'll let it eek out.

I was spooning my girlfriend the other night, she she farted on my dick (we were both naked).

Strangely, the vibrations felt really good :)

That's disgusting.

why dont you fart and see how she reacts you fucking pussy and then go from there

1. Learn to fart without making any noise (accomplished by letting it out gradually)

2. Get a dog

3. Blame it on the dog

Spreading your ass cheeks can help. No, seriously.

+1. Blaming it on the dog is a GREAT go-to for many sticky situations, flatulence definitely included.

you could also reduce your intake of estrogen and antibiotics by not eating meat. but youre too macho men to care about such things.

inb4Mallrats...

Let a real nasty one under the blanket and put it over her head and see what she thinks about that. Dutch oven FTW.

One cheek sneak.

Let a loud concussive one go. Then whisper into her ear "not bad for a one inch speaker". Win!

I base this sort of situation on the wisdom of Wayne's World:

Garth Algar: Uhm, Wayne? What do you do if every time you see this one incredible woman, you think you're gonna hurl?

Wayne Campbell: I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. But if you spew and she bolts, then it was never meant to be.


Now just apply this to farting.

I fart all the time around my girl, and she burps around me. Not little ones, either. She can burp as heavily as I can fart.

In general though, I'll try not to. I mean, despite the fact we're both comfortable with each other's gasses, it's still nicer to leave them for the toilet bowl.

be like 'did ya hear that asshole talkin shit behind my back'

I've never heard that one, but I like it. I think I'll have to start using it.

lol I fart around all my gf's right when we get close enough (before the sleeping together part), its appalling at first, but if you keep doing it, it becomes something to get used to, but you have to get them to realize it's ok for them to do it too.

If your sleeping together it definatly sould be fine though. Don't worry about it. Girls fart too just as much as guys. It's still the human bi0-factory inside, that part is not different between the two genders.

I used to do this really fucked up thing where if we were under the covers I'd bust ass and throw the blanket of the girls head, its fucking disgusting and I don't recommend that anyone does it

I lol'd at some of the replys.

lol thats quite clever

1. Learn to fart without making any noise (accomplished by letting it out gradually)

Three letters: SBD

Silent But Deadly.

Quiet farts ALWAYS smell. Loud farts do not.

This.

Just...no. A decent diet helps.

Just let it rip.

If she doesn't see the funny side, slap her.

-deus-

Fart when your girl has your dick in her mouth. If she loves you, she'll keep on going even if she rants about how disgusting you are.

I have irritable bowel syndrome so i tend to have to rip ass quite often. When I'm with a girl I just walk over into the next room and fart as much as possible in there before going back over to her. Nasty but effective unless I eat some chili with cheese and onions or a cheese steak or anything like that, then the smell along with the loudness and frequency will be so paint peelingly unbearable that I try not to schedule any public appearances or dates for a few hours after the meal.

Turn to drugs. be careful not to get addicted to Beano though ;).


Honestly, if you are comfortable around the girl, she probably won't care what you're doing, as long as you come off as secure. It's your fear and anxiety she'll smell.

It's called respect for other people. Jesus Christ most of you are just fucking cretins.

Just because you have to let one go, it doesn't mean that you should. Liken it to taking a shit. Would you do that next to someone? Subject them to the smell of your shit?

No need to get your panties all in a bunch, we're all just here to learn. I'm not normally very gassy, even after eating spicy foods, so it isn't really a problem for me. That being said, I think that you may have a point, but that hopefully you don't have to deal with any girls who are too uptight.

I wait till she's going down on me to release the gas, make sure her mouth is open n all.

My boyfreind farts around me all the time. Granted we've been together 2 years, but I usually ignore it or laugh. Its a part of life.

I point and laugh at my boyfriend when he does it. He just stares at me blankly.
Being a girl, I don't ever fart. But if I did I'd blame it on the dog even though we don't have a dog.

man i agree with you and waynes world totally

Your screen name makes me picture a bunch of old queers in a bar downing mud slides :)

Dirt.

take one of this pills that stop you from being bloated or gassy.

Dirt.

Dirt?

Comfortably farting in front of one another is a great test to see how close you are in the relationship.

No it's not. Try open and honest communication, you fucking dirtbag. It demonstrates lack of respect.

No it's not. Try open and honest communication, you fucking dirtbag. It demonstrates lack of respect.

I hope your boyfriend dutch ovens you.

I'm a male, fuckface. It's always been communicated that behavior like that belongs away from others. In the bathroom, or in a separate room.

Guess how many girlfriends have passed gas with me? One, on accident as I was levi lovin' her with her legs on my shoulders. It was my fault, so no harm. Every single other one (17 in total) have had enough couth to not.

For me in front of others: 0

I'm a male, fuckface.

I stand by what I said.

I'm sure you do. Typically dirty fucks such as yourself believing something like that is acceptable in a relationship, would also believe other stupid shit. It's near universal.

But by all means, continue to have amazing relationships where nearly everyone secretly hates you inside.

If you think people in your life secretly hate you because of farts? They secretly hate you because you sound like one uptight motherfucker. It's a goddamn fart. Who gives a fuck. Get over yourself.

The smell of your shit.

All the women in this thread are like "z0mg gurl dun farT! itz ur di3t". Cunt rags, SHUT THE FUCK UP. Body builders/weight lifters eat more steamed vegetables, lean meats, drink more water and avoid more bad shit than almost any group of people, and they fart so fucking much.

You all act like your farts don't stink like shit like the rest of us.

The bunch of you need a swift kick to the cunt.

http://img218.imageshack.us/img218/8886/punchher4sxzj9.th.jpg (http://img218.imageshack.us/my.php?image=punchher4sxzj9.jpg)

Every single other one (17 in total) have had enough couth to not.

Touching a girl's hand does not make you her boyfriend.

Touching a girl's hand does not make you her boyfriend.

Wow, great dig. You really got me there.

Body builders/weight lifters eat more steamed vegetables, lean meats, drink more water and avoid more bad shit than almost any group of people, and they fart so fucking much.

And it smells so fucking bad if they drink protein shakes too, they're the worst fucking smells farts of all time.

Wow you really are full of shit.

Liken it to taking a shit. Would you do that next to someone? Subject them to the smell of your shit?
Have you ever used a public bathroom?

Did not read anything but the first post, but you should not be fucking if you can't fart in front of your lover.

Wow, those are tall words for a guy who's location is a big cock n balls.

I don't eat shitty food and avoid the problem altogether.


Wow you really are full of shit.

But not shitty food.

Have you ever used a public bathroom?

Not unless I have the option not to. And when I do, it's to be expected. Otherwise, anyone with any shred of self respect would do it away from others. It's a pretty simple thing to do.

Wow, those are tall words for a guy who's location is a big cock n balls.

How does it go in fucking Joysee these days? I'm closer to the taint.

We wipe each other. It's how we show our love, trust and devotion.

let a real loud one off, then pull the blankets over her head. it'll be funny....:D

We wipe each other. It's how we show our love, trust and devotion.

Now that's love.

I like to build up a rather large surplus of gas. Then when me and my girl are going at it I push her down on her back, forcefully open her lips and put my butthole on her mouth, releasing a noxious surge of flatulence directly down her esophagus.

OMFG im laughing so hard