Yes, when I said rant I meant rant. The last paragraph has most of the questions.

This message pertains to all of you because you have so much in common and occasionally individually.

No, I never went to that party, got hammered and got in a fight. After not doing that I also didn't nail every girl there although I'm thinking it probably would have worked for me a little better. The reason I don't answer my phone is because outside of a select few, I find everyone to be a pain in the ass; early in the morning and on mondays you were frequently mistakenly included in the majority. No I don't have the hots for my best friend's girlfriend who is also your friend because I am quite positive she would be more of a rectal wedge than you are. Now more individually. Kate: Thank you for hitting my friend, who is also a girl, with your purse because it was mildly fucking hillarious. Cheers...and thanks for cheating on me. Sarah R: Sorry my exgirlfriend hit you with her purse, stop getting roughed up by your new boyfriend. Danae: You my girl, have won the covetted prize of being that cock tease that I spent too much time chasing. Jesus is not lord and congrats on getting married; your children will be hideous. Oh, thanks for cheating on me twice. Sarah S: If it was a sure thing that your piece of shit hoopty would start and I wasn't positive you would be immune to chloroform as all sucubus' are, I would park it in front of a train with you in it. My friends thank you for proving them right when they said all those things about strippers. You're a tiger in the sack and I hope you can keep your composure the next time daddy smacks mommy at the dinner table and everyone still tries to enjoy whatever the shit that cock-for-brains cooked that's supposedly so delicious. I'd like to say that it's not your fault because it really isn't but I should have stuck my meat and potatoes in that black chick's ass when I went to the beach last month just to prove how racist you really are. Asa lama laka. Thanks for cheating on me and breaking up with me every other month.

Now as a whole I have come to analyze that all of you, not just the ones addressed, are basically just recreations and repeats of someone that I've already dated. I know I make fuck like berserker but it doesn't mean I'm making love to you, I frequently get in over my head when wooing girls but it doesn't happen the first time I meet you. Yes I have a temper but it only comes out when defending one of you and rarely to the point of a confontation outside of asking you to leave so you don't see me put my hand through the fridge. I don't know how I avoid the spite of retatiation, maybe because you pack my life so full of it I can't breathe but I can at least say I never did something fucked up and irresponsible with your feelings. Thank you all, every last corky, sordid one of you for making Spoke In The Wheel the best song ever. Oh and when I went over to my friend's house to throw a BBQ for his 6 year old neice's birthday, I slammed forty beers and watched the submarine races with Andre The Giant and Bigfoot in her doll house. Please continue to stack the pyre that keeps you warm with rotten insecurities. And if it's one thing that'd bothered me the most consistently, I don't want to hang out with your friends. I don't expose you to my beer drinking, rowdy, potsmoking, deliquent group of individuals so I wish you would have refrained from me having to throw up everytime I talked to one of your dumber-than-owl-shit aqcuaintences. Please don't change for the better, someone's gotta be that pain in the ass beautiful girl that pretends like she's got all her marbles untill someone developes feelings for her, it keeps life interesting.

Sorry for the rant, it helped me calm down a little; it's a little funny too. But seriously guys (or girls) I heard it somewhere, the question that did I realize that every new girl I date is just basically a repeat of past ones. It's true. Now I don't have a long list of girlfriends but the ones that were actually serious relationships (see above) explode with romance and remain burning untill she seemingly out of the blue, does something fucked up. I mean you'd have to try to hurt someone's feelings to be so inconsiderate, or selfish.

I'd like to think that they were actually good people and all that, I know I ain't a fuckin goober when it comes to them. The closest I can tell of why is that I've always had sort of a knack at getting chicks, not in the sack persay but when I know what I want, I know what I want and I've never had a hard time getting them to pay attention. I'm not a womanizing douche, just selectively charming is all. I try to be a good boyfriend, I lose my cool sometimes but refrain from saying anything I can't apollogize for and try to deal with it in the way that's easiest for her to understand. So if it's possible is this "knack" (lack of a better term) and the very caring nature telling them that they should keep an eye on me cause I'm a fuckin tomcat or something? This sounds gay as hell but I truely have been in love with a couple of them and when this happens, time slows down and all but it's a scene from a mob movie where someone's diving for the dirt in a drive-by. Have most of you guys dated the same type of chicks, the same personality in a different body with a few more traits just being more vivid instead of being totally different? What the hell happened to the loyalty effect? I guess there's sophisticated ones, girly/princess ones, low-key ones, intellectuals, and clingy ones. I know how to make a chick crazy for me but when I "play fair" and get serious about showing them who I truely it just goes into being in love with me and then to shit. Oh, and since I'm asking so many questions I'll give a little advice. If you get the chance to do anal with a chick, don't say "Naw I don't need to, it's gonna hurt you and I don't really feel like it."

inb4newarrivalflames

First of all, change your expectations of the world and people around you, I believe that your thoughts manifest reality so if your thinking your going to find pretty much just a variation of an old girl you will.

When it comes down to the core though, we are all humans and a lot of us are pretty damn similar. Maybe your just having bad luck.

Try meeting a girl in a totally new place you would never expect to or even better somewhere you've never been.
That should increase your chances of finding someone different. Just be positive and happy, there's no point to any of this if you're not going to be happy.

I've never seen drinking help a relationship or be any good for anything other then making yourself feel shitty so maybe you should start thinking about what it's doing for you.
Not telling you to stop or even lay back on the drinking, just spend some time thinking about it, maybe drop some acid first and spend some time thinking about all of this if that's your kind of thing.

and no bel-air?

Inb4tl;dr

Inb4ketch