So there I was, sitting at home, playing games, reading some interesting articles, and reading Totse of course. I mosey on over to SG to see whats up, the normal bullshit so I meandor over to S&A, where I see this thread (http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2126158) at the top of the list and I begin to read.

While reading this, memories come back of the first time I tried fingering my butthole in the shower, a somewhat enjoyable experience, and an eye-opening experience as well. I read about other Totsean anal experiences, which most have been enjoyable besides HTS-Noobs highlighter incident, so I decide to give it another whirl.

I do a little research through the internet on what people suggest to stick in there, since I'm male and have no access to dildos(dildii?). I find out that toothbrushes and hairbrush handles are the weapon of choice for amateur anal stimulators. I also read, and reread, and reread that you can never have too much lube.

So I log off and head up to my room and get ready to take a shower to cleanse my butthole from any left over debris, and get all squeaky clean. I get out of the shower, dry off, and prep my room/bed for my new experience. I lay out a couple towels on my bed, preparing for a worst case scenario of feces coming flying out of my ass(no wai!). I get to looking around for the rest of my supplies I need and discover a problem.

I have no lotion in my bedroom. I became a tad bit furious, because I was sure there was some lotion under my bed from the last time I decided to use it, but alas it wasn't there. I tiptoed out into the living room, and into the adjacent kitchen, where my dad had fallen asleep in his usual chair in front of the television. I wasn't totally sure where the lotion would be, but I thought either on the counter under the TV or in the cabinet above the TV. As soon as I enter the doorway, my dad starts to stir, and I get paranoid and scamper out real quick. I peer around the corner to see it must have been something in his dreams, as he seems at rest now. I decide to go for it. Seeing no lotion on the counter, I reach up and pull open the cabinet door, and to my surprise, there is the bottle of lotion I was looking for. I quickly headed back to my room, ready to get it on.

I look around for something to stick in my ass, because I have no hairbrush, and I didn't think my tooth brush would satisfy my needs. I rummage through my desk drawers, my clothes drawers, and under the bed, but come up empty handed. I thought to myself that nothing could go right in this special hour of curiousity. I'm about ready to lay down to begin a normal jackoff session, when out of the corner of my eye, on top of my dresser, I see my glass chess set. I go over and carefully exam it, concluding that the pieces were in fact solid glass. Success! I've found an object, the only problem is, it's only about 2.5 or so inches long. Thoughts of the HTS-Noob thread quickly dashed through my mind. I thought, no way am I going to stick this up my ass without some sort of safety cord. I go into the bathroom and find some floss and tie it around a groove in the Queen piece. After a few reassuring tugs on the floss, I was ready.

To sum the last part up, I stuck the Queen in my ass, and it felt really good. When I started jacking off though, all I could think about was HTS-Noob and his trip to the emergency room. I ended up pulling it out and finishing my jack off session normally, and it was pretty good, I wonder what it would have been like with the piece still in it.

HTS-Noob has ruined anal stimulation in so many ways.

*is proud*

I have this image of the queen, floss securely around its middle, turning sideways and anchoring itself firmly in place.