So, yesterday my girlfriend told me that she loves me. Its been a bit over 3 months official with us, and we talk/hang a lot.

She told me she was gonna tell me last thursday, but I got pissed at her for sleeping over her most recent (and serious) ex's house and she started crying. I told her I took it as disrespect, and she explained to me the situation. They didn't sleep together, and apparently they are still really good friends. He broke it off with her, claiming she didn't make him happy anymore. She told me she stopped trying to figure out why when she started dating me. She still brings the whole drama of what happened on thursday up from time to time.

I really don't like the idea of her sleeping over his house. I just think a girl shouldn't do that if she has a new bf. I wouldn't sleep over my ex's house, especially my most recent, because I have a girlfriend.

So, she's seeing him again today. She said she'll be home before I get back from work, so we'll be able to talk or hang later tonight.

If she decides to sleep over his house, I'm going to loose some faith in the idea that she loves me.

Am I justified in being uncomfortable/upset with this situation?

Sleeping at your ex's while you're dating someone new? Huge no no.

He broke up with her too, what makes you think he hasn't changed his mind, hence the "sleepovers". I don't think most girls or guys sleep over at someones house unless there's a reason like a party or a bunch of friends, in which case you should kinda be invited.

I don't want to freak you out but I know I would be freaking out if I were you. This is pretty weird.

Also WHY THE FUUUUCK is she going over there again after you said you were uncomfortable with it the first time and it's come up more then one time!? She clearly doesn't care that it's upsetting/unsettling to you.

I'm all for doing whatever you want and not having to follow societies norms but I'm also extremely all about honesty and openness with your partner and caring about how they feel and trying to bend your actions to make them feel as the best they can without becoming their bitch.

I would be very suspicious if I were you and prepare your heart for hell but also, don't just give up yet, trust her as much as you can. Maybe it is innocent and will never be anything else.

Either way, I know most girls would dump you for sleeping at your ex's.

EDIT: How old are you two and do you love her?

yes the fact shes sleeping at her x house I would be pissed! If she stays the night again I would most defently start lookin for another

I think you have the right to be suspicious, but in my opinion, fidelity isn't as important as most have decided it is. I prefer to know the truth, and only expect my women to be safe and make good decisions. Jealousy will tear your relationship apart. If you're still worried, do something special for her and convince her that your the guy for her. Fight for the things you want.

I don't mind them hanging out too much. I've hung with my ex's that I am still friends with before. I've invited my favorite one to many concerts, stayed out late with her, and drove her home, but I never thought of sleeping at her house. Still, if they start seeing each other more, especially more than she sees me, I'm going to be uncomfortable with it.

My girl asked me why I would be uncomfortable with the sleeping part if I'm alright with them hanging out. I told her I just am, its hard to explain. When we are sleeping together, and she is in my arms, I feel like the whole world is mine. There isn't a feeling better than that. I get angry when I think of them doing the same.

That's a perfectly normal feeling right?

You're getting played.

You're getting played.

If I'm getting played, why does she have such emotions towards me?

To be honest, if they are just friends then it would explain why she is so oblivious about why it's upsetting you. If anything, it shows that they really are just friends. Just tell her that you would feel uncomfortable if she was seeing this guy more than you.

If anything, this will probably strengthen the relationship.

ok first of all you dont stay the night at an exs house without fucking, it just doesnt happen man. what would they be doing otherwise? sitting around watching blind date munching popcorn?

tell her how it makes you feel awkward not that you dont trust her but its that you dont trust him.

if she really loved you shed be sleeping over at your pad

Well we are hanging out after I get out of work.

I'm taking her to a party. It'll be fun =)

My girl asked me why I would be uncomfortable with the sleeping part if I'm alright with them hanging out.

AKA "I could fuck him while visiting so why can't I just fuck him then sleep cause I get tired after he plows me all day and it's not like I want to come over to your place and fuck/sleep with you, you'll be able to tell I had sex."

Sorry to be a massive downer but fuck...
It sounds like she's just using you man, I don't know what for, maybe she's seeing who she "loves" more.
The ex WHO LEFT HER or the rebound (You).

What happens next is all up too you. You either stick around and see what's up or you leave her and find someone who doesn't do shit that would make most guy's fucking uncomfortable. You have every right/reason to have unsettling feelings of worry, doubt and to be upset with this whole damn situation.

Think about why she even wants to sleep over.
-If she's not sleeping with him then where is she sleeping? The couch? Some guest bed that isn't nice as hers?
-Is she doing something that would make going to your or her house not a good idea? Like getting wasted/high?
-Is there some reason his house is better then yours/hers? What can she do there she can't at your/her place?

There's so much to consider man...

On the other hand it could be innocently spending time with him, but again, why? He dumped her and she doesn't know why apparently. Why doesn't she want to spend her time with the guy she "loves", or wait, is she already doing that?

I would be damn fucking suspicious/pissed if I were you. If the relationship started with both of us clear on it being open, I wouldn't mind, but I don't think that's what you guys did. Just remember, there is a reason for her actions. Either figure out what it is or leave, don't be the other guy.

You guys are right.

I have to confront her about it eventually, and make sure to fight for what I want, as in, showing her I'm the guy for her.

To do that in one fell swoop, I'm writing her a song. Its called End and here are the lyrics:

i think that i should be
honest with you baby
i dont know who to trust
your words or my gut
because baby you see
its happened all before
and im not ready
to be on the killing floor

sometimes
i think of love
but then you go
and give him hugs

how can I?
be the guy
in your life
if he fills your time?

i'm sorry babe
but i have to say
your so amazing
being friends is crazy

i dont think
i could ever stop
caring for you
like i do right now

how could he
just leave you there
there gotta be
something in the air

in the air
ooo its in the air


Thats all for now...

Don't do the song thing.

Don't do the song thing.

Why not?

Edit: Its also for my band. Its a sad funk rock song.

If I'm getting played, why does she have such emotions towards me?

Emotion? Ever seen an actor? Seriously, no way in hell would I allow my current to be anywhere near her ex. If she even thought about spending the night, I would be done. Trust me, I just recently got played majorly and made a complete fool out of myself.

Fuck

Now I feel like complete shit about the whole situation.

I'm just a fucking rebound...god damnit. Well, at least I caught it early. I texted her and told her to call me, I doubt she will because I sorta brought it up in the text....

Edit: I called her because I couldn't go through my day without telling her how I felt about the whole thing. She says she has no emotional baggage, that everything is finished, yet she doesn't seem to care too much either way...

Dump the bitch in a text. Bahahahahhahahahaha

Her saying she loves you really doesn't mean a whole lot in terms of "guy" talk. I am sure she cares about you, and just has a much more relaxed view of the word. This is a hard situation, since so many girls say that their exes are still their friends.

Most guys know that is not how it works. Why would she want to even talk to him after he broke up with her? Seems like she wants validation from him, and I would just let her do what she wants. As long as she doesn't cheat, don't ever try to restrict her from seeing anyone. What you should do is just go about your business.

Sleeping at your ex's while you're dating someone new? Huge no no.

He broke up with her too, what makes you think he hasn't changed his mind, hence the "sleepovers". I don't think most girls or guys sleep over at someones house unless there's a reason like a party or a bunch of friends, in which case you should kinda be invited.

I don't want to freak you out but I know I would be freaking out if I were you. This is pretty weird.

Also WHY THE FUUUUCK is she going over there again after you said you were uncomfortable with it the first time and it's come up more then one time!? She clearly doesn't care that it's upsetting/unsettling to you.

I'm all for doing whatever you want and not having to follow societies norms but I'm also extremely all about honesty and openness with your partner and caring about how they feel and trying to bend your actions to make them feel as the best they can without becoming their bitch.

I would be very suspicious if I were you and prepare your heart for hell but also, don't just give up yet, trust her as much as you can. Maybe it is innocent and will never be anything else.

Either way, I know most girls would dump you for sleeping at your ex's.

EDIT: How old are you two and do you love her?

Lol, I was reading this and was like...is this a man? There is no way...and it turns out it of course was a woman. Ahhh, thank you for validating my response.

I don't mind them hanging out too much. I've hung with my ex's that I am still friends with before. I've invited my favorite one to many concerts, stayed out late with her, and drove her home, but I never thought of sleeping at her house. Still, if they start seeing each other more, especially more than she sees me, I'm going to be uncomfortable with it.

My girl asked me why I would be uncomfortable with the sleeping part if I'm alright with them hanging out. I told her I just am, its hard to explain. When we are sleeping together, and she is in my arms, I feel like the whole world is mine. There isn't a feeling better than that. I get angry when I think of them doing the same.

That's a perfectly normal feeling right?

Stop looking for reassurance. I mean you said "favorite ex", what the fuck is that about? So they sleep in the same bed now? Honestly, I would say that it isn't going to work out because it's obvious you cannot trust her.

If I'm getting played, why does she have such emotions towards me?

Um, she's female? Want to know why every girl has more than one BFF in their lives?

To be honest, if they are just friends then it would explain why she is so oblivious about why it's upsetting you. If anything, it shows that they really are just friends. Just tell her that you would feel uncomfortable if she was seeing this guy more than you.

If anything, this will probably strengthen the relationship.

NOOOOO! Do not say you are uncomfortable because she sees him more, that just reveals you as an insecure bastard. There is no problem here unless she is fucking the guy. Stop questioning yourself, just go on about your business. I guarantee the relationship will fall apart anyways.

Well we are hanging out after I get out of work.

I'm taking her to a party. It'll be fun =)

Dude, you are a chump.

AKA "I could fuck him while visiting so why can't I just fuck him then sleep cause I get tired after he plows me all day and it's not like I want to come over to your place and fuck/sleep with you, you'll be able to tell I had sex."

Sorry to be a massive downer but fuck...
It sounds like she's just using you man, I don't know what for, maybe she's seeing who she "loves" more.
The ex WHO LEFT HER or the rebound (You).

What happens next is all up too you. You either stick around and see what's up or you leave her and find someone who doesn't do shit that would make most guy's fucking uncomfortable. You have every right/reason to have unsettling feelings of worry, doubt and to be upset with this whole damn situation.

Think about why she even wants to sleep over.
-If she's not sleeping with him then where is she sleeping? The couch? Some guest bed that isn't nice as hers?
-Is she doing something that would make going to your or her house not a good idea? Like getting wasted/high?
-Is there some reason his house is better then yours/hers? What can she do there she can't at your/her place?

There's so much to consider man...

On the other hand it could be innocently spending time with him, but again, why? He dumped her and she doesn't know why apparently. Why doesn't she want to spend her time with the guy she "loves", or wait, is she already doing that?

I would be damn fucking suspicious/pissed if I were you. If the relationship started with both of us clear on it being open, I wouldn't mind, but I don't think that's what you guys did. Just remember, there is a reason for her actions. Either figure out what it is or leave, don't be the other guy.

Stop replying almost identically to me! Except for the being pissed part. That seems like your personal problem.

You guys are right.

I have to confront her about it eventually, and make sure to fight for what I want, as in, showing her I'm the guy for her.

To do that in one fell swoop, I'm writing her a song. Its called End and here are the lyrics:

i think that i should be
honest with you baby
i dont know who to trust
your words or my gut
because baby you see
its happened all before
and im not ready
to be on the killing floor

sometimes
i think of love
but then you go
and give him hugs

how can I?
be the guy
in your life
if he fills your time?

i'm sorry babe
but i have to say
your so amazing
being friends is crazy

i dont think
i could ever stop
caring for you
like i do right now

how could he
just leave you there
there gotta be
something in the air

in the air
ooo its in the air


Thats all for now...

This is THE lamest shit I have ever seen.

Why not?

Edit: Its also for my band. Its a sad funk rock song.

First reason, "It's also for my band." Have you not seen Airheads? GOD, pull your head out of your fucking ass. Mouse already broke the shit down for you...

Fuck

Now I feel like complete shit about the whole situation.

I'm just a fucking rebound...god damnit. Well, at least I caught it early. I texted her and told her to call me, I doubt she will because I sorta brought it up in the text....

Edit: I called her because I couldn't go through my day without telling her how I felt about the whole thing. She says she has no emotional baggage, that everything is finished, yet she doesn't seem to care too much either way...

What? So what happened? Elaborate more dude...

Her saying she loves you really doesn't mean a whole lot in terms of "guy" talk. I am sure she cares about you, and just has a much more relaxed view of the word. This is a hard situation, since so many girls say that their exes are still their friends.

Most guys know that is not how it works. Why would she want to even talk to him after he broke up with her? Seems like she wants validation from him, and I would just let her do what she wants. As long as she doesn't cheat, don't ever try to restrict her from seeing anyone. What you should do is just go about your business.



Lol, I was reading this and was like...is this a man? There is no way...and it turns out it of course was a woman. Ahhh, thank you for validating my response.



Stop looking for reassurance. I mean you said "favorite ex", what the fuck is that about? So they sleep in the same bed now? Honestly, I would say that it isn't going to work out because it's obvious you cannot trust her.



Um, she's female? Want to know why every girl has more than one BFF in their lives?



NOOOOO! Do not say you are uncomfortable because she sees him more, that just reveals you as an insecure bastard. There is no problem here unless she is fucking the guy. Stop questioning yourself, just go on about your business. I guarantee the relationship will fall apart anyways.



Dude, you are a chump.



Stop replying almost identically to me! Except for the being pissed part. That seems like your personal problem.



This is THE lamest shit I have ever seen.



First reason, "It's also for my band." Have you not seen Airheads? GOD, pull your head out of your fucking ass. Mouse already broke the shit down for you...



What? So what happened? Elaborate more dude...

Carbon, your whole post was full of LOL! But anyways, to the OP, your girlfriend is most likely fucking her ex. Simply, you are a rebound and being used by some bitch. If my girlfriend ever said to me "Oh, I'm going to sleep at my ex's blahblahblah." I'd tell her to fuck off, and never speak with me again. She is still craving for an old cock, so let her go get it. It's not your problem. Well it is, but you shouldn't care all that much. She is a slut. That's all there is to it, and your a fool if you think otherwise.

You're getting played.

It's true.

It's him who wasn't happy with their relationship, not her. She only stopped thinking about it when she started with you, not because she's over it.

Your a rebound. So bounce her the fuck away from you.

CarbonB, is full of truth and makes me lol.


It's him who wasn't happy with their relationship, not her. She only stopped thinking about it when she started with you, not because she's over it.


My thoughts exactly.


I'm writing her a song. Its called End and here are the lyrics:
...
how could he
just leave you there
there gotta be
something in the air

in the air
ooo its in the air

lol WTF Man? Are you trying to make her like him even more?
I definitely would not use those lyrics in your "band" if I were you let alone sing them to your girlfriend...

Oh, CarbonB, I meant I'd be pissed about her lying. Lying is not cool in my books especially about stuff like this where two people have assumed the other will only be with them and not with others and it wasn't an open relationship.

You need to wise the fuck up.

Let this be a lesson to you.

Ah I see.

Well thanks Totse for all your beatdowns and pick me ups.

I was in a hungover haze when I posted all that shit this morning. I feel a lot better now, as my stomach doesn't turn when I think about it, or anything for that matter. I was just feeling sick, depressed, and lonely. I always post shit like this when I'm hungover because I always feel like shit about everything when I'm in that state. When my state of consciousness is relatively normal, I tend to have a much sunnier and carefree outlook on life. Something about the after effects of alcohol do me harm, perhaps thats why my mom was always so sad...

God damnit...I should keep myself away from electronic communication while I recover from now on. I'm ruining my e-rep =P

Oh, CarbonB, I meant I'd be pissed about her lying. Lying is not cool in my books especially about stuff like this where two people have assumed the other will only be with them and not with others and it wasn't an open relationship.

Lol, I know :P I hate liars as well, so I can only say that I agree! ;-D

Ah I see.

Well thanks Totse for all your beatdowns and pick me ups.

I was in a hungover haze when I posted all that shit this morning. I feel a lot better now, as my stomach doesn't turn when I think about it, or anything for that matter. I was just feeling sick, depressed, and lonely. I always post shit like this when I'm hungover because I always feel like shit about everything when I'm in that state. When my state of consciousness is relatively normal, I tend to have a much sunnier and carefree outlook on life. Something about the after effects of alcohol do me harm, perhaps thats why my mom was always so sad...

God damnit...I should keep myself away from electronic communication while I recover from now on. I'm ruining my e-rep =P

It is possible you could think about not drinking for a while? Use those days of recovery towards something productive?

^ (@ Pingy) That didn't help.
Your situation and your failure to recognize and assess it are what cause me to think a fool of you.

Why the harsh words? It is always easier to see clearly when you are looking in from the outside.

I agree with you Carbon, and I may have been harsh on you Pingy. It just seems like he (Pingy) "understands" the situation and is all worried about it but then goes into complete denial blaming his realization of truth on a hangover...

Whether or not there was added depression/anxiety involved in his earlier posts does not make the situation any different. However if you're ok with the situation in a sober non-jealous state then I hope pingy, that you will accept my apology for my words.

I'm generally nice but I can be an asshole sometimes, try not to take everything I say too seriously as I will often apologize if I feel I have been mean or unfair soon after.

It's funny because you really don't know me :P

Here's how it breaks down...

I didn't drink tonight, and I feel fine about it. Its like this, she would have to be seriously fucked up if she chose him over me. Shit, if I were in her situation, a night with me would turn me on more than 1000 with him. He looks like the penguin, and I'm a physical trainer at the Y.

When I'm hungover I feel so shitty that I don't think rationally like that. Sorry for being a douchebag.

You're girlfriend is still sleeping at her ex's house.
I'm not saying you should panic and I'm not saying your current attitude is wrong or unjustified but I still think you should have a serious talk with her about it and settle stuff out. It's not like she's the only girl out there for you and maybe you would be better off with someone else. I don't know her or you so I can't say for sure, but I can suggest talking to her and thinking about it and not just hanging around oblivous because you're hotter then him.

NO, when you are hungover you express how you ACTUALLY ARE, I can see why she chose him over you, you sound like an arrogant prick.