Quickly here is my story
I was in a secret lesbian relationship for about a year and half, it ended when i started going out with my current boyfriend, he has never known anything about my previous relationship or that i like girls. We've almost been going out for a year. My ex girl friend who is still my best friend, although its been tough because i hurt her really bad, anyways she starting to come out of the closet and has started telling people about herself and therefore also about me.

I have therefore been thinking about telling my boyfriend the truth. I believe that even though he says he loves me unconditionally i think he'd hate me and never want to talk to me again.

I'd hate for him to find out, and i am also kind of interested in being out. I really wanted to be out when i was with my girlfriend but i've been enjoying the perks of the hetero relationship and i kind of don't want to let them go.

I wish i could do it and then if it didn't go well take it back, but since that's not possible, anyone any ideas on whether or not i should take this step?

Why would he hate you?

Most guys would love it if their girlfriend turned out to be into girls.

I dont know because he's conservative for one and for another i've been lying to him for a year now.

As long as you make it very clear that nothing happened when you were with him, he shouldn't mind. Unless he's one of those pricks who gets hung up on someones past.

What happened before your relationship is none of his business, but for the record I think 99% of guys would find it hot.

Does he know your ex? If the three of you hang out a lot that could cause some weird tension to start with, which is about the only downside I can think of.

He'll be asking for threesomes in no time.

Offer a threesome with your best friend and him, and he definitely won't hate you.

Shit, at least I know I wouldn't if given that offer from my previously lesbian girlfriend.

The threesome would freak the fucking shit out of him I'm guessing by the way you talk about him.

I think you should tell him ASAP before he finds out through the vine. As long as your honest and haven't cheated on him he should be fine. If your worried about "lying to him for a year" stop, you just say you were uncomfortable with even telling him, let alone telling everyone.

I really suggest against the threesome idea just because it's almost guaranteed he'll get jealous. If he suggests it and you'd want to then maybe, but it would have to be with someone other then your ex because she'll get really hurt most likely.

EDIT: What is the big deal everyone makes about threesomes and +? They generally suck ass.

Does he have, or do you know If he likes lesbian porn? If he does, I don't see any problems arising. I would just mention something about lesbians and see how he reacts. Good luck with that.

^ Smart thinking.

Lesbian porn and real life lesbians are COMPLETELY fucking different. Lesbian porn is straight bitches getting paid to suck another chicks clit. Real lesbians are mostly ugly bitches and hang out with a bunch of other lesbos. If the women are young (15-25) and good looking/hot, chances are they are not lesbians, they either A: are going through a stage in which they think they are gay or B: doing it for attention.

And the whole "dudes love lesbians" thing is not really true. I hate lesbians. I have yet to see real life lesbians that are not doing it for show, and that are both hot. Even if I did, and they were truly gay, I still would not give a shit.

SO, do not assume your bf will like that.

So i've told him that i've had a threesome before when we were first going out to test the waters, and he really hated the idea, i think he finds it disgusting in some way.

I've also asked him about lesbians and he doesnt think they're hot. Which according to almost everyone who responded makes him strange.

He does know my ex and they've hung out but they hate each other now and he suspects her of having a lesbian crush on me.

I don't know what to do but i think eventually the choice wont be up to me and he'll find out either way, i guess it would be better for me to tell him rather than have him find out.

I also wonder if i tell him if he'll keep it a secret if i ask him not to tell people.

Man i hate being closeted it sucks.

^ (What almightyares said) Huge myth. Sure girls in porn are hot... because they need to be, it's porn. That does not mean hot girls don't exist in real life and that none of them are lesbians/bi.

My last three ex's are bi and my most recent (Hottest) had a year long relationship with this girl I went to grade 1, 2 and 3 with and then we dated. When she was at my house (Every day) she would download all types of porn off of torrents. She'd watch it with me but I know what she was doing while I was at school lol. She also knew I was bi and the night things started with us I did shit with a guy, she didn't care.
Gay/Lesbian/Bi people look and exist like everyone else.

Even if he's going to break up with you over it you need to be the one to tell him. If he really starts to freak and you think he's going to end it then break up with him first because he's fucking retardedly close minded, it's your past and who you are. Fuck off if he can't deal.

Coming out feels great but don't think it will be a cake-walk. Some people will have issues with it and you might find out that some people you thought were true friends to you aren't.
I came out to all my friends about a year ago and I recently (few months or so) came out to my parents and I haven't had any issues. My dad and brother still make gay jokes all the time and still at my expense sometimes too and I'm so glad. I was worried they would feel like they need to watch what they say or something, that would make it awkward. I'm lucky enough to have a really understanding family and hopefully you are too :)
It does certainly feel good when it's taken well by those around you :)

Um ok then don't tell your boyfriend.

He sounds kind of boring and angry.

Well...whats the problem here? If your only issue is that youve kept this relationship from your past away from him then telling him should NOT be a big deal.

But I sense theres something more afoot...

Do you still want to be with him? Are you sure you are still interested in him? Do you want your ex back?

This post is not advice or a suggestion of what to do, or what he might do.

If you are bisexual and you tell him the truth and he wigs out and is disgusted by you liking girls, then he is disgusted with you. You shouldn't want to try to change yourself, or him for that matter.

You are the way you are, he is the way he is. If he freaks out, then you guys are clearly not compatible. I'm sure you'll find another woman, or a man, who will respect your desires and interests.

---

Side note: Not all lesbians are ugly. There are many girls out there who are lesbian or bisexual and beautiful. Maybe the real ones just don't publicize it because they don't want piles of men humping their legs and making jokes :)

Um ok then don't tell your boyfriend.

He sounds kind of boring and angry.

I really really agree with you. He also sounds ugly. I'm just saying.

I was in a secret lesbian relationship... I have therefore been thinking about telling my boyfriend the truth. I believe that even though he says he loves me unconditionally i think he'd hate me and never want to talk to me again.

The fuck??

Just give him the porn tape for his birthday. He'll be happy as... well, a straight guy watching two bearded clams go at it.

I dont know because he's conservative...

Oh. Nevermind. Leave him, no matter how cool he is with it.

Homophobes don't deserve to get pussy from bi chicks. In fact, they don't deserve to get pussy at all.

Eh, personally not a fan of lesbianism. I prefer hetero porn. The women make better sounds when they're getting reamed by a real cock than with tribadism or strap ons.

Oh, as for your question: If bisexuality is indeed part of who you are, you're going to impose a prison upon yourself in your relationship by hiding it from your man. If you're so worried that he won't accept your sexuality then you have two options: Hide it from him and be miserable in the long term, or give your whole self to him and risk a rejection...which is indeed painful, but doesn't drag out for years upon years in a half-hearted uncomfortable relationship.

If you're durable, hide it and put up with the pain. If you're the kind that needs catharsis, GET IT.

QFT. ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

Lesbian porn and real life lesbians are COMPLETELY fucking different. Lesbian porn is straight bitches getting paid to suck another chicks clit. Real lesbians are mostly ugly bitches and hang out with a bunch of other lesbos. If the women are young (15-25) and good looking/hot, chances are they are not lesbians, they either A: are going through a stage in which they think they are gay or B: doing it for attention.

I still stand by my opinion that this is a retarded myth that is generally believed by those that don't actually get out to much or hang out with the same people all the time and never get close enough to lots of people to learn if they're lesbian/bi. Not trying to insult you, but that myth is as ignorant as saying being gay is a choice.


And the whole "dudes love lesbians" thing is not really true. I hate lesbians. I have yet to see real life lesbians that are not doing it for show, and that are both hot. Even if I did, and they were truly gay, I still would not give a shit.

SO, do not assume your bf will like that.

Some guys wouldn't find lesbians attractive for many reasons like the fact that they aren't interested in you (men).

Personally I think all sexuality is pretty hot and I enjoy watching girls (in real life, not porn) have sex or even just make out. Knowing they're bi makes it more appealing just because I know they could find an interest in me. Watching gay porn is not that interesting to me, I don't like older men and I don't like really muscular men so that cuts out a lot of it in an instant. On top of that, I'm really not a big fan of porn in general unless it's homemade/couples kind of thing. The emotions and realness turns me on way more then just visual nudity/sex.

Anyways, I went quite off topic but in general guys do find lesbians as a turn on as long as they're hot (or attractive to them anyways) though you will likely meet men who find it not appealing and even some who find it a turnoff.

Your boyfriend sounds very "shelled in" and close minded and I doubt he will take it well. I'm really sorry if this hurts you but I think you should leave him. You sound like a pretty cool and adventurous girl and he sounds like a boring, live by the book loser. If you leave him/he leaves you you're more then likely to find someone who will accept and love you just the way you are, girl/guy doesn't matter, they are out there for you. You aren't comfortable enough to tell him about your sexuality, that alone says a lot about your relationship. I think if you were with the right person it would be so easy and not at all uncomfortable or feel like it was risky.

BTW I have a few questions. A) Your ages? (You him and your ex) and B) Any chance of a pic so we can see what you look like? Nudity is not necessary though most will disagree with me on that :P

I would take it very badly if a gf of a year decieved me about this sort of stuff.

You were foolish for not telling him when you first got close.

I would take it very badly if a gf of a year decieved me about this sort of stuff.

...do you actually interview them about their sexual orientation in a prescreening process?

...do you actually interview them about their sexual orientation in a prescreening process?

I attempt to find out a few key things before going out with them.

i'm sure he's asked her about previous relationships somewhere along the line.

^ Kinda my point, it couldn't have been the best relationship if this wasn't brought up. + She stills hangs out with her most recent ex and her boyfriend even thinks that her "friend" has a "crush" on her and she still hasn't told him.

I'm not trying to insult you pulsera, it's just that you seriously should have told him this earlier on. When he finds out that your bi he'll probably assume you and your ex are "dating" and then when he finds out that she's actually your ex he'll probably freak the fuck out because you are with her a lot (I assume). It will be damn hard, if not impossible, to convince him nothing's going on.

Also, if your boyfriend, who doesn't even know about you being bi, thinks she has a crush on you, she probably has more then a crush on you...

I don't understand how a man couldn't understand Bi-sexual women. Women are fucking beautiful, how can other women not see the same beauty. Men are more utility than beauty, so it's easier for guys not to find other guys attractive. Both my wife and my new room mate who apparently is also going to be my wife(they decided it), are both hot and both Bi. In my area, it's actually pretty 50/50 between straight and BI girls. I haven't really met too many lesbian only women. I'd actually never marry a straight girl because I love getting tag teemed way too much. Apparently, another one of my wife's friends wants to get in on our relationship as well, which will make it 3, 3 women, ha ha ha. You think coming out is hard, try telling your fairly conservative family that you have three bi-sexual wives. Man Christmas is going to be fucked up this year, lol.

^ At Christmas your name would be better as:
easeoflife22xharderthennormal

wait, so are you bisexual or homosexual?

Cuz I'd be fine with dating a bisexual chick. Hell, I've done it.

Most guys would love it if their girlfriend turned out to be into girls.

Says who?

I still stand by my opinion that this is a retarded myth that is generally believed by those that don't actually get out to much or hang out with the same people all the time and never get close enough to lots of people to learn if they're lesbian/bi. Not trying to insult you, but that myth is as ignorant as saying being gay is a choice.


No offense taken, BUT, I get out A LOT. I have hung out with so many different types of people, and I have pretty much seen it all. I stick by my conclusion about hot lesbians. SO many lesbos come into the club I work at, and they are ALL ugly. Fuck, one of my really good friends is a lesbo...she gets mistaken for a man all day EVERYDAY. I pretty much know all of the lesbos that go to the bars on the strip where I work on the weekends (about 50 lesbos) and every single one of them is ugly and/or looks like a man. ALSO, I am not basing this on just the lesbos I see at work. Most of the lesbos I know are outside of work.

One more thing, being gay is a choice.



Some guys wouldn't find lesbians attractive for many reasons like the fact that they aren't interested in you (men).

Im sure this is the case for some people, but thats borderline pathetic if a dude doesnt like lesbians because they dont like him.



Anyways, I went quite off topic but in general guys do find lesbians as a turn on as long as they're hot (or attractive to them anyways) though you will likely meet men who find it not appealing and even some who find it a turnoff.

Must be the area you live in (Los Angeles aka GayTown)



Your boyfriend sounds very "shelled in" and close minded and I doubt he will take it well. I'm really sorry if this hurts you but I think you should leave him. You sound like a pretty cool and adventurous girl and he sounds like a boring, live by the book loser.

So, a person is "close minded" because they dont like the fact that their girlfriend was/is/will be a lesbian? Dont be stupid. Thats just as boneheaded as saying "if you dont like to take it up the ass from another dude, you are close minded". If my gf told me she is a lesbian; fuck her. She can munch bloody pussy for all I care. That is the complete opposite of being close minded.

Easy solution:
"Lesbian?!...Yeah right!...That's so against God and the bible and stuff. Lies! Lies I say!"

Not guaranteed to really work though.

Honest solution:
Tell him the truth.
If you love him then you'll tell him the truth.
If he's just the guy you got with to look heterosexual then you're not only lying to him but also to yourself.

If you tell your bf hell try to distance you from your ex. Because he will see your ex as a threat. Tell him, he deserves to know the truth.

good job dishonest cunt

my ex is bi, she went thruogh a lesbian stage where she wa s just simply confued, now every party I go to and she's there I end up sexin her, the lesbian thing didn't bother me in the slightest lol.

threesome on his birthday sounds good. then you can be like "surprise, im a lesbo"

80% of my friends love girl on girl stuff

Says who?

The majority of the heterosexual male population.

I still stand by my opinion that this is a retarded myth that is generally believed by those that don't actually get out to much or hang out with the same people all the time and never get close enough to lots of people to learn if they're lesbian/bi. Not trying to insult you, but that myth is as ignorant as saying being gay is a choice.



Some guys wouldn't find lesbians attractive for many reasons like the fact that they aren't interested in you (men).

Personally I think all sexuality is pretty hot and I enjoy watching girls (in real life, not porn) have sex or even just make out. Knowing they're bi makes it more appealing just because I know they could find an interest in me. Watching gay porn is not that interesting to me, I don't like older men and I don't like really muscular men so that cuts out a lot of it in an instant. On top of that, I'm really not a big fan of porn in general unless it's homemade/couples kind of thing. The emotions and realness turns me on way more then just visual nudity/sex.

Anyways, I went quite off topic but in general guys do find lesbians as a turn on as long as they're hot (or attractive to them anyways) though you will likely meet men who find it not appealing and even some who find it a turnoff.

Your boyfriend sounds very "shelled in" and close minded and I doubt he will take it well. I'm really sorry if this hurts you but I think you should leave him. You sound like a pretty cool and adventurous girl and he sounds like a boring, live by the book loser. If you leave him/he leaves you you're more then likely to find someone who will accept and love you just the way you are, girl/guy doesn't matter, they are out there for you. You aren't comfortable enough to tell him about your sexuality, that alone says a lot about your relationship. I think if you were with the right person it would be so easy and not at all uncomfortable or feel like it was risky.

BTW I have a few questions. A) Your ages? (You him and your ex) and B) Any chance of a pic so we can see what you look like? Nudity is not necessary though most will disagree with me on that :P


To answer your questions, I am 20 my bf is 24 my ex is 19. I'd send in a pic but the one thing i love about totse is that i can be completely free because i know nobody knows who i am. I'm pretty hot if that makes you feel better.

I've been convinced that i should tell him, i know it was shitty of me to lie to him but coming out the world is something that is hard to do.

I'll keep you updated on when i do tell him, i'm sure it won't go well and we will probably break up but at least i'll be closer to being who i want to be.

Thanks for all the advice, keep it coming, I'm going to have to work up the courage to do this.

if he dumps you, then just go back with your friend.

You are not homosexual. Shut the fuck up!

...do you actually interview them about their sexual orientation in a prescreening process?

Lol, this is because when you are dealing with someone over the age of 10, the topic of sex comes up more frequently and without the puppet show to explain the birds and the bees. Oh Joe, you're still sad to me...

Lol, this is because...

So you seriously walk up to chicks in a bar and start shouting "ARE YOU A DYKE BITCH??!? ARE YOU!?!?!"

Wow. Dude. You're... ub3r hXcore, or or some shit. Any restraining orders yet?

Guys do you understand how hard it is to come out?

Saying she's a liar, and lied to him is really not a very objective statement. Do you realize the fear most gay people have about this? Also if she likes a new guy she may not want to give him reason for not continuing to see her. But then 1 month becomes 2 months, 2 months becomes 6 months, 6 months becomes a year, and oops... she still hasn't told him.

Besides not only is she hiding her own sexuality, she's also hiding her exes sexuality. If the ex is the best friend then she wouldn't just haphazardly tell people that her best friend is gay as that would be a betrayal of trust in some way. Though her best friend told people, it was because those people were trust worthy, and well... because her best friend is a douche bag. I'm also very sure that her best friend gives a thousand apologies and will never do it again, and probably only told people whom she had to or felt were very very trustworthy.

So you seriously walk up to chicks in a bar and start shouting "ARE YOU A DYKE BITCH??!? ARE YOU!?!?!"

Wow. Dude. You're... ub3r hXcore, or or some shit. Any restraining orders yet?

Please you little boy with the social skills of the children you sleep with...stop being facetious. It is easy to get on the topic of past relationships and sex on even the first date, and within the first hour of talking. It just seems you do not know how to interact with women, which is why you use children as a crutch to your sexual inadequacy.

Guys do you understand how hard it is to come out?

Saying she's a liar, and lied to him is really not a very objective statement. Do you realize the fear most gay people have about this? Also if she likes a new guy she may not want to give him reason for not continuing to see her. But then 1 month becomes 2 months, 2 months becomes 6 months, 6 months becomes a year, and oops... she still hasn't told him.

Besides not only is she hiding her own sexuality, she's also hiding her exes sexuality. If the ex is the best friend then she wouldn't just haphazardly tell people that her best friend is gay as that would be a betrayal of trust in some way. Though her best friend told people, it was because those people were trust worthy, and well... because her best friend is a douche bag. I'm also very sure that her best friend gives a thousand apologies and will never do it again, and probably only told people whom she had to or felt were very very trustworthy.

Did the OP really expand further on what the best friend was saying about her? I saw that the friend was telling people she was gay, which I also thought was a break of trust between friends. If she really was gay though she wouldn't force herself to be with a man for the "benefits" of a heterosexual relationship.

Please you little boy with the social skills of the children you sleep with...stop being facetious. It is easy to get on the topic of past relationships and sex on even the first date, and within the first hour of talking. It just seems you do not know how to interact with women, which is why you use children as a crutch to your sexual inadequacy.



Did the OP really expand further on what the best friend was saying about her? I saw that the friend was telling people she was gay, which I also thought was a break of trust between friends. If she really was gay though she wouldn't force herself to be with a man for the "benefits" of a heterosexual relationship.

I'm using knowledge I know from outside of this topic (I know the poster). But...uh... the friend basically told really really good friends who wouldn't say anything that she was gay, and once that came out, ppl assumed that the op was too, and/or just told the other ppl about the op because of how the whole gay thing unveiled.

But you're right, either way, in some ways it is a break of trust, but it wasn't necessarily this malicious telling everyone that op is gay, it was like 2 very trustworthy ppl who know. But still, you're right.. no excuse is good enough. Only an apology can be given.

So, a person is "close minded" because they dont like the fact that their girlfriend was/is/will be a lesbian? Dont be stupid. Thats just as boneheaded as saying "if you dont like to take it up the ass from another dude, you are close minded".

Actually, it's a lot more like, oh, having a problem with other people taking it up the ass.

In fact, there's a huge difference between "one's self" and "people who are not one's self," in terms of you choosing their actions - a phenomenally huge difference indeed.

I'm using knowledge I know from outside of this topic (I know the poster). But...uh... the friend basically told really really good friends who wouldn't say anything that she was gay, and once that came out, ppl assumed that the op was too, and/or just told the other ppl about the op because of how the whole gay thing unveiled.

But you're right, either way, in some ways it is a break of trust, but it wasn't necessarily this malicious telling everyone that op is gay, it was like 2 very trustworthy ppl who know. But still, you're right.. no excuse is good enough. Only an apology can be given.

I am sure that the girl who came out was really just looking for support through some trusted friends. I doubt it was that difficult to jump to the conclusion that the OP might also be homosexual. In either way, I think that if she really is homosexual, she should break up with her boyfriend, and just find out where she stands.

Actually, it's a lot more like, oh, having a problem with other people taking it up the ass.

In fact, there's a huge difference between "one's self" and "people who are not one's self," in terms of you choosing their actions - a phenomenally huge difference indeed.

LOL!!!! Too funny.

Sounds like the boyfriend is either very insecure or has some moral issue with it. Probably a combination of both.
A lot of guys hate lesbians cause there's lesbians out there who marry guys for their money and then later come out of the closet. They feel insecure about possible deception.

But he can probably also be warmed up to the idea of having a bi girlfriend. If he can't, then find a bi boyfriend or one that isn't retardedly insecure. And if ojise and pulsera aren't the same person then they should hook up in real life, if they haven't already.

Yea I have. Actually I was really embarassed. I wanted to defend myself but then I thought I don't want this topic to be about me and puls when it was about puls and her bf, so I was actually defending myself. I am the ex. Yeah I know I'm retarded for defending myself in third person, but I just didn't want to hijack the thread. The truth is out.. but maybe some of you already knew that (man if you look us up from when we were going out, we complained about each other on totse waaaay too much)

It's not insecure to want your girlfriend to be faithful to you, to be honest with their feelings, or to have conservative values when entering into a relationship. If anything is to be said, the OP should feel guilty about leading him on knowing where his values lied.

Yea I have. Actually I was really embarassed. I wanted to defend myself but then I thought I don't want this topic to be about me and puls when it was about puls and her bf, so I was actually defending myself. I am the ex. Yeah I know I'm retarded for defending myself in third person, but I just didn't want to hijack the thread. The truth is out.. but maybe some of you already knew that (man if you look us up from when we were going out, we complained about each other on totse waaaay too much)

Lol, funny. So out of the two of you who is actually the lesbian? I am guessing you, and I am guessing the OP really isn't homosexual, just confused.

I am the ex.

Fucking win.

So, I have to ask... aside from not making you cum, is she good in the sack?

Fucking win.

So, I have to ask... aside from not making you cum, is she good in the sack?

Lol I don't know if she'll appreciate me answering this..... but I will anyways (haha I doubt puls will care)

Yea she's a really good time. Very energetic, experimental, and passionate. I'm guessing you've read some of my topics where I have basically implied or stated that I love making her cum, it is definitely a fun experience.

Actually she'll agree to this.... Even if we don't love each other we just have really good sexual chemistry. Like our kissing styles go really well together, and we know each other inside and out, how we tick, the interesting quirks we have, so yea of course she's good in bed.

Now Puls... if you'd like to return the favour and state how fantastic I am in bed.. I will not mind...

:P


Oh and just to add to Carbon B's assessment that she's confused.. she's not.. and it's kinda a disrespectful thing to say, and I personally find it offensive.. because she didn't seem confused about liking me making her cum countless times...

I don't think the topic starter is capable of feeling guilty about it. Sounds like she's just in it for the "perks" and doesn't actually have much if any feelings or connection towards the guy, so would be incapable of true guilt. I don't think feeling guilty would solve anything either. He should accept the possibility of being deceived, always. And accept it when it happens.

No offense taken, BUT, I get out A LOT. I have hung out with so many different types of people, and I have pretty much seen it all. I stick by my conclusion about hot lesbians. SO many lesbos come into the club I work at, and they are ALL ugly. Fuck, one of my really good friends is a lesbo...she gets mistaken for a man all day EVERYDAY. I pretty much know all of the lesbos that go to the bars on the strip where I work on the weekends (about 50 lesbos) and every single one of them is ugly and/or looks like a man. ALSO, I am not basing this on just the lesbos I see at work. Most of the lesbos I know are outside of work.

That's your experience and opinion, not necessarily the whole truth and doesn't mean I'm wrong.


One more thing, being gay is a choice.

I think that is quite an offensive thing to say and I would strongly disagree with you as I assume many others would as well.


Must be the area you live in (Los Angeles aka GayTown)

Canada, and I don't think it really matters where you live.



So, a person is "close minded" because they dont like the fact that their girlfriend was/is/will be a lesbian? Dont be stupid. Thats just as boneheaded as saying "if you dont like to take it up the ass from another dude, you are close minded". If my gf told me she is a lesbian; fuck her. She can munch bloody pussy for all I care. That is the complete opposite of being close minded.
I think JoePedo took care of answering this one...
Although I will say that not caring does not equal open-minded.

@CarbonB: I don't think anything was mentioned about the OP cheating on him... Also I'm pretty sure she identifies herself as Bi, not a lesbian. She's not dating a guy, just 'cause.

@Ojise: If you're not joking and you actually are her ex then I have to say I think you still love her. The way you talk about her just makes me feel 99% sure you still love her.
Also, you should apologize for telling people in person rather then over totse...
I'm not trying to put you on the spot by saying that I think you still love her and I'm sorry for kinda doing so but you should probably talk to her about it or something.

If you are joking though, well done, it felt real.

That's your experience and opinion, not necessarily the whole truth and doesn't mean I'm wrong.


I think that is quite an offensive thing to say and I would strongly disagree with you as I assume many others would as well.


Canada, and I don't think it really matters where you live.



I think JoePedo took care of answering this one...
Although I will say that not caring does not equal open-minded.

@CarbonB: I don't think anything was mentioned about the OP cheating on him... Also I'm pretty sure she identifies herself as Bi, not a lesbian. She's not dating a guy, just 'cause.

@Ojise: If you're not joking and you actually are her ex then I have to say I think you still love her. The way you talk about her just makes me feel 99% sure you still love her.
Also, you should apologize for telling people in person rather then over totse...
I'm not trying to put you on the spot by saying that I think you still love her and I'm sorry for kinda doing so but you should probably talk to her about it or something.

If you are joking though, well done, it felt real.

I have apologized to her in real life. Obviously she knows I told people, she can't just know that out of thin air. We talked about it and had a serious discussion, I just felt very guilted by the totse lot, thus wanted to apologize here again, and called her again to tell her one more time. It's something I feel bad about. But though I don't want to have any excuses, I told people in the least invasive way and it really has no consequences for her..

And trust me... we've talked about the whole love thing... talked it out to death... you don't even want to know how much we've talked about it. But I mean things change, even in this last week lots of things have changed for me. Of course I still love her as a person, but it's irrelevant, or it's at least becoming irrelevant. She knows I care for her, and she cares for me. We're best friends, and maybe if I told you we were best friends you'd call me out and say "wow I think you're in love with your best friend" but who knows, maybe you wouldn't if you didn't know our sexual context.

Of course me fondly describing our sex doesn't do me any favours for convincing anyone I'm not in love with her... and maybe even a week ago I would've agreed with you, but sometimes you get to this point, where you sit there and you think "wow I love this person unconditionally, yet, who cares. Like you really just think.. who cares, and you just don't anymore. You kinda take off the rose coloured glasses and things are... different".

Personally, I'm betting you could probably think about one of your exes and say... man I want to have sex with her, yet you don't love her. Sex without love is quite common I believe.

Oh also.. I can't tell if I sound bitchy.. I don't mean to be, I have no problem with you calling me out, I find it funny and entertaining.

Lol I don't know if she'll appreciate me answering this..... but I will anyways (haha I doubt puls will care)

Yea she's a really good time. Very energetic, experimental, and passionate. I'm guessing you've read some of my topics where I have basically implied or stated that I love making her cum, it is definitely a fun experience.

Actually she'll agree to this.... Even if we don't love each other we just have really good sexual chemistry. Like our kissing styles go really well together, and we know each other inside and out, how we tick, the interesting quirks we have, so yea of course she's good in bed.

Now Puls... if you'd like to return the favour and state how fantastic I am in bed.. I will not mind...

:P


Oh and just to add to Carbon B's assessment that she's confused.. she's not.. and it's kinda a disrespectful thing to say, and I personally find it offensive.. because she didn't seem confused about liking me making her cum countless times...

What an interesting argument. She must be sexually attracted to females because one of them made her cum...right. It sounds like you are only further crossing the boundaries, especially by talking to JoePedo about your sexual relationships. Almost stated that you loved her? This is how you show your love for someone? Degrading them publically to the likes of a pedophile? You are the disrespectful one, you are the offensive one, not me.


@CarbonB: I don't think anything was mentioned about the OP cheating on him... Also I'm pretty sure she identifies herself as Bi, not a lesbian. She's not dating a guy, just 'cause.


Funny, because it wasn't like she stated that her heterosexual relationship was just for the benefits....OH WAIT SHE DID! :-|

I have apologized to her in real life. Obviously she knows I told people, she can't just know that out of thin air. We talked about it and had a serious discussion, I just felt very guilted by the totse lot, thus wanted to apologize here again, and called her again to tell her one more time. It's something I feel bad about. But though I don't want to have any excuses, I told people in the least invasive way and it really has no consequences for her..

And trust me... we've talked about the whole love thing... talked it out to death... you don't even want to know how much we've talked about it. But I mean things change, even in this last week lots of things have changed for me. Of course I still love her as a person, but it's irrelevant, or it's at least becoming irrelevant. She knows I care for her, and she cares for me. We're best friends, and maybe if I told you we were best friends you'd call me out and say "wow I think you're in love with your best friend" but who knows, maybe you wouldn't if you didn't know our sexual context.

Of course me fondly describing our sex doesn't do me any favours for convincing anyone I'm not in love with her... and maybe even a week ago I would've agreed with you, but sometimes you get to this point, where you sit there and you think "wow I love this person unconditionally, yet, who cares. Like you really just think.. who cares, and you just don't anymore. You kinda take off the rose coloured glasses and things are... different".

Personally, I'm betting you could probably think about one of your exes and say... man I want to have sex with her, yet you don't love her. Sex without love is quite common I believe.

Oh also.. I can't tell if I sound bitchy.. I don't mean to be, I have no problem with you calling me out, I find it funny and entertaining.

Sex without love common? NOO! You don't say........?

You are coming off like a bitch, especially when you say it is fun and entertaining to be called out. After no one even called you out...because you called yourself out. What is even more comical is you somehow think it is a new thing for two lesbians to talk themselves to death. It's pretty clear that you don't really know her, especially by your statement of the "rosy glasses". Your best friend? I would think you were best friends without the context of sex?

Doubtful, since it is obvious the sex is what drove tension between your relationship as friends. I don't know if you can even be friends while she is dating a guy. Bisexual? To me that shit doesn't exist, and you don't know what unconditional love is...SO, that about wraps up another thread explaining the delusions of lesbians. Need a movie to watch that exemplifies this situation perfectly? "Election".

Sorry, it wasn't the sex talk that made me think you love her, sex doesn't = love to me. It was how I read your words, or what I felt while reading them.


Actually she'll agree to this.... Even if we don't love each other we just have really good sexual chemistry. Like our kissing styles go really well together, and we know each other inside and out, how we tick, the interesting quirks we have, so yea of course she's good in bed.


Your choice not to leave it simply as you don't love her added emphasis to the "Even if" and the way you talk about yourself and her in general... just gave me that impression. Also I thought this before I even knew who you were when I found out her boyfriend thought you had a crush on her, if he could see it I assumed it might be somewhat obvious.

I'm not saying you ARE in love with her, that's just the impression I got from your words, guess feeling 99% sure of something doesn't make it true :P Of course you love your best friend though, that makes perfect sense, I guess I just interpreted it as a bit more then that.

@CarbonB: Why doesn't bisexuality exist to you? It's present throughout history, Ancient Greece anyone?

Sorry, it wasn't the sex talk that made me think you love her, sex doesn't = love to me. It was how I read your words, or what I felt while reading them.

This right here, very true. I had the same impression, since there was just too much vested interest from Ojise.



Your choice not to leave it simply as you don't love her added emphasis to the "Even if" and the way you talk about yourself and her in general... just gave me that impression. Also I thought this before I even knew who you were when I found out her boyfriend thought you had a crush on her, if he could see it I assumed it might be somewhat obvious.

I'm not saying you ARE in love with her, that's just the impression I got from your words, guess feeling 99% sure of something doesn't make it true :P Of course you love your best friend though, that makes perfect sense, I guess I just interpreted it as a bit more then that.

Which it is, but leave it be now Mouse! She is trying to talk through these troubling emotions on her mind, and I am sure coming to grips with loving someone who no longer loves you back is taking it's toll on her.

So I should stop talking about it because she's trying to talk through her troubling emotions in her mind rather then letting it out?

I thought that's why a lot of people come to and post on Sex and Affection. I'm entirely willing to keep talking about it but I'm not sure if she really wants to. I'm sorry, Ojise, but you do seem to be avoiding your feelings and I got that impression from your latest words and choices of them.
I'm not trying to fight with you or upset you, it's just that it's kinda painful to read your posts since you come off so strongly as someone who's afraid they'll never get love back from whom they are in love with.

I haven't been agreeing with CarbonB in this thread very much but I guess I do on this.

Sorry again and I know you'll want to (Possibly will) respond defensively to this but maybe you should either talk it out with someone or think it through and be honest with yourself. Again, if I'm wrong then I'm indeed sorry, I just feel that I'm not.

(I partially continued my point because CarbonB told me to stop, it was like 1/4 of the deciding factor on whether to post or not. lol sorry Carbon, I'm bi and you struck a nerve.)

Hehe, the great debate of bisexuality and its inevitable continuation on totse. I mean really we can even bring all of this out of the context of sexuality. Whether she is homosexual, bisexual, or heterosexual, it seems like Ojise does have feelings that she doesn't know what to do with, and is looking for any way to get attention from the OP.

It's hard to let go, and I wasn't seriously trying to tell you what to do, Sex and Affection is for exactly what you said, and as long as the thread starter or an involved party is willing to share, I'm willing to comment. :P

Hmmm... this is fun. I get to go to a club with the OP and friends and tell her about this thread now, a thread that has kinda pissed me off. Actually I think you're both not cool to be honest. At first it was funny, but if it's true or if it's not true, how would you feel if someone did this to you basically in front of your ex. Maybe if I had my own thread okay.. but it's inevitable she'll read this.

Maybe I brought this upon myself, but at the same time, you're kinda throwing me to the dogs here. I know Puls and she won't care about this thread, like... I mean... it won't make things awkward between us but at the same time, if she was someone who got awkward... then I'd be pissed.

I mean, I'll admit I'm a little angry... except not really at you Suicide Mouse, I don't think you're being mean, but CarbonB, you're totally purposely trying to get a rise out of me.

Anyways.. that's all for me for the rest of the night... so... yea.... good bye I guess to this within a topic conversation we're having.

Does this sound coherent to anyone? I can feel the emotions leaking out of you even over the internet. Get a rise out of you? I am not that petty, and my actions may be perceived as such, but in all honesty I am a seeker of knowledge. If anything you are only getting hurt because what you once thought of as "entertaining", is quickly pushing you into a situation where you feel "judged". Oh well though, if you can't handle the pressure of online chatter, you definitely are not ready for anything beyond your small scope of the world, which is I.

Well first off, I'm sorry Ojise, I kinda got lost in your posts and my thinking and forgot about the fact that this conversation is indeed in front of you're ex and I am pointing out my belief of your true feelings. However you did start it by slyly bumping yourself in here and introducing yourself as well as responding to me in a conversation like manner but that doesn't mean you don't have a right to end the conversation (At least your part of it) or to get upset.

Secondly, I'm sorry to Pulsera, I allowed myself to basically take part in "hijacking" your thread to talk about something else, no matter how related I think it is. I hope I haven't made anything between you and Ojise awkward...

Also, CarbonB, I didn't mean to take your words as literally as I did, I hadn't had a smoke since this morning and my nerves were getting to me a bit. Although, you kinda just poked at Ojise by saying she's feeling "judged" then you basically did, without a doubt, judge her in your following sentence.

Now for something on topic.
Pulsera, I'm a little confused about something. Did you really lie to your boyfriend by saying you were straight or have you simply just never told him? Either way I believe you know what the right thing to do is, I'd just like to clear that up as I'd rather not call you a liar if you haven't really lied and you've just not come out.

Also, you have been accused of only being with your boyfriend to enjoy the "percs" of a heterosexual relationship and I'm wondering if you would identify yourself as a lesbian or bi? I don't think you've said you love him once in this whole thread (Could be wrong I just re-glanced over everything) and you kind of have made it look like he doesn't matter to much, it's the relationship that does (Whether its for staying in the closet or these supposed "percs"). If you do, I have no real reason to disbelieve you, but I don't think you've made it clear.

I completely respect your wish for privacy and I no longer wish for you to post a picture of yourself, the only reason I originally wanted you to was to show that bi/lesbians can be hot as hell in real-life to the contrary of what some were saying. I guess it was a grab in the dark but why would I assume you were anything but good looking.

You have all the courage you need to tell him the truth, sure it will be anxiety provoking/scary but you can do it and you have a best friend who cares about you beside you and I'm sure she will be there to support you through this mess.

Best of luck to you and I hope everything turns out like you want it too. :)

Actually she'll agree to this.... Even if we don't love each other we just have really good sexual chemistry. Like our kissing styles go really well together

Sweet! :D

Y'know... since she probably read your other post... 'n might not mind if you watch TV while she goes down on you... you should really consider the whole no-strings FWB if she ever breaks up with her boyfriend. ;)

and we know each other inside and out

well I sort pf assumed that much, lol. ;)

Oh and just to add to Carbon B's assessment that she's confused.. she's not.. and it's kinda a disrespectful thing to say

http://www.totse.com/community/search.php?do=finduser&u=166179

Read. Know.

...I wouldn't reccomend doing him, though. ;)

where you sit there and you think "wow I love this person unconditionally, yet, who cares.

Yup. ;) Now... what's the difference? You're shagging people who are not each other at the moment, but really, love tends to be made up of your extended, chosen family of people who are not related. ;) 'n it's far more meaningful than who you sleep with.

So... what's the difference? Enjoy life, and each other... 'n find a chick who'll let you surf redtube while she eats you out. ;) Bonus points if she makes you a sandwich to eat while you watch.

'n most of all, have fun. :)

lol
JoePedo - Keeping totse up to date on chemistry and drug knowledge, fighting for the pedos, and keeping everything lighthearted all while fantasizing about lesbians and redtube.

Well first off, I'm sorry Ojise, I kinda got lost in your posts and my thinking and forgot about the fact that this conversation is indeed in front of you're ex and I am pointing out my belief of your true feelings. However you did start it by slyly bumping yourself in here and introducing yourself as well as responding to me in a conversation like manner but that doesn't mean you don't have a right to end the conversation (At least your part of it) or to get upset.

Secondly, I'm sorry to Pulsera, I allowed myself to basically take part in "hijacking" your thread to talk about something else, no matter how related I think it is. I hope I haven't made anything between you and Ojise awkward...

Also, CarbonB, I didn't mean to take your words as literally as I did, I hadn't had a smoke since this morning and my nerves were getting to me a bit. Although, you kinda just poked at Ojise by saying she's feeling "judged" then you basically did, without a doubt, judge her in your following sentence.

Jesus, first off stop apologizing so much. Posting on totse is an immediate closure to being judged. I simply stated she was creating the situation for me to pass judgment on her, and in all fairness revealing factual information without self-interest isn't judging. Her scope of the world is small, and I would bet she is just young and dumb.

Now for something on topic.
Pulsera, I'm a little confused about something. Did you really lie to your boyfriend by saying you were straight or have you simply just never told him? Either way I believe you know what the right thing to do is, I'd just like to clear that up as I'd rather not call you a liar if you haven't really lied and you've just not come out.

Also, you have been accused of only being with your boyfriend to enjoy the "percs" of a heterosexual relationship and I'm wondering if you would identify yourself as a lesbian or bi? I don't think you've said you love him once in this whole thread (Could be wrong I just re-glanced over everything) and you kind of have made it look like he doesn't matter to much, it's the relationship that does (Whether its for staying in the closet or these supposed "percs"). If you do, I have no real reason to disbelieve you, but I don't think you've made it clear.

I completely respect your wish for privacy and I no longer wish for you to post a picture of yourself, the only reason I originally wanted you to was to show that bi/lesbians can be hot as hell in real-life to the contrary of what some were saying. I guess it was a grab in the dark but why would I assume you were anything but good looking.

You have all the courage you need to tell him the truth, sure it will be anxiety provoking/scary but you can do it and you have a best friend who cares about you beside you and I'm sure she will be there to support you through this mess.

Best of luck to you and I hope everything turns out like you want it too. :)

Blah, let's see what happens...


http://www.totse.com/community/search.php?do=finduser&u=166179

Read. Know.

...I wouldn't reccomend doing him, though. ;)

Lol, I bet you talk to the kids about me too huh Pedo?

lol
JoePedo - Keeping totse up to date on chemistry and drug knowledge, fighting for the pedos, and keeping everything lighthearted all while fantasizing about lesbians and redtube.

Ahhh yes, I laugh too, but I think for different reasons.

To suicide mouse, I do love him, even if i havent overly stated that, and i dont think that i'm only in the relationship for the perks because imo being single has more perks than a hetero relationships. Oh and thanks for the confidence, and nothing could ever be awk between ojise and I, we've been through too much together.

You guys should stop fighting over nothing though.

Carbon B why don't you think bisexuality exists, is there no way that you can see finding both sexes attractive. I dont think that bisexuality has to be experimental even if you end up with either of the sexes later in life forever that doesnt make you either gay or straight (wte one you choose) you can still be bisexual. Bisexuality means that you find both sexes attractive and that you can foresee falling in love with either.

I think i've come to realize that being afraid to tell the person who you've committed yourself to who you really are is... dumb and that i should stop being dumb

I've lived for a long time with a life that is made up a lies, first with my secret lesbian relationship and second with my faked straight identity, i want to be free of the lies, i want to be able to tell anyone who asks exactly what is going on. Being wrapped up in so many lies makes me feel like even the little things that i do like going out with friends needs to be lied about too, i lie about everything and i think its because i lie about the things that are most important to me.

I love totse, its awesome. I love how ppl are such jackasses and its ok, and how i'm allowed to rant about nothing.

Oj i'm sorry if any part of this topic made you mad, but we're going to have fun tomoro and i promise if and when i do tell him i'll try to make up to you what i owe you.

Lived a long time? Lord...."make up to you what I owe you." This is getting more over the top with every post. Women creating drama in their lives, one lesbian, one bisexual, one man behind the curtain of it all. NEXT ON MAURY!

Or springer.. I can't imagine ojise or pulsera being very attractive but ojise enjoys licking girls assholes and that by itself is extremely hot. I hope they do lots of that. And if pulsera loves her boyfriend then he shouldn't care so much that she's bi. It'd be sooo much better if they could just enjoy a threesome with the boyfriend. pulsera's skills are poor if she can't make him like the idea. Guys do get horny easily.

Why do you not get it? Some guys want to be monogamous, and the idea of his girlfriend not only cheating on him, but with a woman would be pretty hurtful. You hope they do lots of asshole licking? Why? Are you a part of it? Do you get to watch? Involve the boyfriend? What part of her being a lesbian don't you get? It's the OP loving attention from a man and a woman. She gets the dick from the man, and the emotional pussy and asshole licking from her dyke friend. Sounds like champagne and caviar dreams...

I can live vicariously through them when I think about them doing it, sorta. It's kinda like porn. I'm not interested in seeing their faces. And my girlfriend wouldn't wanna do it with many girls. She thinks most girls are disgusting. It'd be too awkward for us to have a threesome I think, that's the type of people we are. She's perfect anyways. Wouldn't wanna change her at all.. I also see nothing wrong with having some pervy thoughts about girls doing it with each other.

And maybe pulsera is the perfect chick for her boyfriend. It could turn out that way, despite the fact that she cheats on him with girls. So he could possibly be ruining it by over reacting.... Maybe when he becomes desensitized he'll be less insecure and more open minded, or less foolish. Cause he'd have to be pretty foolish to get with a girl he can't really trust.

despite the fact that she cheats on him with girls.

Wait... so has she cheated on him with any chicks?

I can't find that part, but I'm not reading this whole thread again just to find it.

This is one of those threads that gets topic-spread everywhere and miscommunications and miistakes turn into bigger issues.

I don't think she cheated on him but I think her boyfriend will believe so no matter what considering her closeness with her ex and all the descriptions of his personality.

Well I can't say that I blame him...

All sexual orientation issues aside, I would be a little put off if my ex was still really close with an ex of theirs.

You're a fucking moron. "Open minded" and "foolish" are not words or phrases I would use to describe the disapproval of cheating.

Well I can't say that I blame him...

All sexual orientation issues aside, I would be a little put off if my ex was still really close with an ex of theirs.

It's not his ex you fucking retard, if you can't follow the dialog then shut the fuck up.

It's not his ex you fucking retard, if you can't follow the dialog then shut the fuck up.

I'm just going by what I read in the last post. I even specified that I was not basing what I was saying on the contents of the thread.

Frankly, I'm not interested enough in this thread to get anymore involved than that.

I'm just going by what I read in the last post. I even specified that I was not basing what I was saying on the contents of the thread.

Frankly, I'm not interested enough in this thread to get anymore involved than that.

Lol, I didn't mean to lash out at you.....are you feeling alright? :P

Lol, I didn't mean to lash out at you.....are you feeling alright? :P

Yeah I'm fine...? lol.

But really though, I guess I shouldn't have commented in a thread that I haven't been keeping full tabs on.

My point was just that if I was dating a girl and she was really close with an ex of hers (whether this ex be a guy or a girl), I'd be at least a bit concerned...

But if that isn't the case with the OP, then I guess my comment is a bit off topic...

"You're a fucking moron. "Open minded" and "foolish" are not words or phrases I would use to describe the disapproval of cheating."


I wasn't using them to describe the disapproval of cheating either. You get confused easily. I think you may be autistic.. I think it interferes with your ability to communicate rationally and intelligently and understand things people say.

Do you get so angry and passionate over the subject because you're insecure about it happening to you? If he weren't foolish, in my opinion, he would've never hooked up with a deceptive person. And if he weren't insecure it wouldn't bother him so much because he'd more than likely accept that possibility. There's a lot of deceptive people out there.

Anyway, I saw your posts on that e-player website where they were making fun of you for your rapping and linked to your picture and posts on totse. After reading that I realized you definitely have something wrong with you socially. I'm just guessing a form of autism because I've known people like that. They confused you for what seemed like days on that website and you just kept on trying to get the upper hand while denying it was you in the links. And I'm not looking for that type of e drama. I'm not a person that wants to e fight. Feel free to continue insulting me.

As for the girls. I've read a few topics and things ojise posted in the past and some things pulsera posted, including in this thread which makes me assume she's been cheating on her boyfriend with ojise and probably other girls.

Just assumptions though. This thread seems to be done. I don't think there will be anything interesting happening here.

"You're a fucking moron. "Open minded" and "foolish" are not words or phrases I would use to describe the disapproval of cheating."


I wasn't using them to describe the disapproval of cheating either. You get confused easily. I think you may be autistic.. I think it interferes with your ability to communicate rationally and intelligently and understand things people say.

Oh hell no, did this mother fucker start a paragraph off insulting me? Let's see what the rest of bitch wrote...oh hell no, he even called me autistic and claims I have problems with communication. First of all asshole, you are the idiot here who has a hard time conveying thought with written word. Not me, so let's stick to your extremely ignorant and failed assessment of the situation, shall we?

Do you get so angry and passionate over the subject because you're insecure about it happening to you? If he weren't foolish, in my opinion, he would've never hooked up with a deceptive person. And if he weren't insecure it wouldn't bother him so much because he'd more than likely accept that possibility. There's a lot of deceptive people out there.

Huh? Angry? When did I say I get angry? Passion and anger are not the same thing. There is the first mistake you have made as an idiot. Let's find another...oh there it is, you are saying I am insecure about the subject, when we were discussing something completely irrelevant in passionate debates.

He isn't foolish for having a girl DECEIVE him you stupid cunt. Also having someone talk to and hang out with their ex constantly is going to cause tension in a relationship. A lot of deceptive people out there? What the fuck does that have to do with anything? Idiot...

Anyway, I saw your posts on that e-player website where they were making fun of you for your rapping and linked to your picture and posts on totse. After reading that I realized you definitely have something wrong with you socially. I'm just guessing a form of autism because I've known people like that. They confused you for what seemed like days on that website and you just kept on trying to get the upper hand while denying it was you in the links. And I'm not looking for that type of e drama. I'm not a person that wants to e fight. Feel free to continue insulting me.

As for the girls. I've read a few topics and things ojise posted in the past and some things pulsera posted, including in this thread which makes me assume she's been cheating on her boyfriend with ojise and probably other girls.

Just assumptions though. This thread seems to be done. I don't think there will be anything interesting happening here.

Lol, you don't want to e-fight yet the beginning of your response is filled with insulting and derogatory language. You are a hypocrite, and a retarded bitch. Yes, please walk away because the only thing left here for you is hurt.

Carbon, you're flipping out again. I wasn't trying to insult you, I seriously think you're autistic. It would explain a lot. If I were going to insult it would be something very obvious. Anyhoo, I'm not going to argue about my opinions. And I don't want any e trouble.

I don't want any e trouble.

Well you just fucking got some, BITCH!

(lol im jk)

You're an idiot.

Well you just fucking got some, BITCH!

(lol im jk)

LMFAOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's different from guy to guy.

I found out my gf was bi early on in our relationship, and I don't know why but I felt really weird about it. I'm usually very open to sexual direction, but I guess it's because I've never been so close to someone like that.

I've grown to accept it, and even enjoy it at times. We would talk about random girls we thought were hot, but then when it get's raunchy I get weirded out again. There's just something in the back of my mind that won't let me completely accept the fact that she's bi, and it drives me crazy.

With my last three girlfriends we've always had the "Fuck she/he is hot, I would so fuck her/him" kinda conversations, not because we were going to, just like two guys talking about a girl or two girls talking about a guy with no intention of actually going after them.
But that's just because both of us new the other was bi from really early on, if not before we were dating and my last three girlfriends have been really fucking open and sexual.

Plus I've never had any other girlfriends who after I met their ex I could tell them that their ex is fucking hot.

It's different from guy to guy.

I found out my gf was bi early on in our relationship, and I don't know why but I felt really weird about it. I'm usually very open to sexual direction, but I guess it's because I've never been so close to someone like that.

I've grown to accept it, and even enjoy it at times. We would talk about random girls we thought were hot, but then when it get's raunchy I get weirded out again. There's just something in the back of my mind that won't let me completely accept the fact that she's bi, and it drives me crazy.

Probably because it feels like she is undermining your masculinity.

With my last three girlfriends we've always had the "Fuck she/he is hot, I would so fuck her/him" kinda conversations, not because we were going to, just like two guys talking about a girl or two girls talking about a guy with no intention of actually going after them.
But that's just because both of us new the other was bi from really early on, if not before we were dating and my last three girlfriends have been really fucking open and sexual.

Plus I've never had any other girlfriends who after I met their ex I could tell them that their ex is fucking hot.

I always thought it was weird to hear someone out of a couple talk about other's sexual attributes in front of their partner. I mean why? "Oh yeah babe, look at that girl over there, she is so gorgeous..." I don't know, it just doesn't really seem appropriate to me. Most girls I find that talk about this stuff are just following a learned behavior when trying to please men. Same thing that goes for girls that get drunk at parties and kiss girls, even though they would call themselves straight.

I guess we just know it's innocent and can appreciate a hot looking body. I mean, why not? If it were hurting one of us then yeah, not doing that would definitely be smart but that hasn't been the case for me.
It's more like we both get to be open about our thoughts and fantasies. Were like best friends who get to fuck too.

The first of the three started it one day in a mall and I agreed and I didn't start doing it until she had started that type of conversation like 10 or so times because I thought I might upset her, she was a submissive type of girl and kinda fragile but it ended up just turning her on.

The second... well I don't remember her too much but I was told how a threesome of ours started. We were in her apartment and it was a party and I was obviously quite gone and was apparently hitting on some other girl (turned out to be a party-friend's sister but he's fucking huge and would kill me so he doesn't know) then my gf at the time said she should join us in the other room. She did. Similar situation must have happened a couple more times as there was one more threesome and a foursome. Fuck I wish I could have skipped this girl. If only...
It was like one big bad trip.

Latest girl, I accidentally started it and a male friend of mine called me out on saying stuff about a girl's ass in front of my girlfriend but she and her best friend totally fucking backed me up and carried on about her. That was in about the first week. We did it quite a bit and got to know exactly what each other thought was hot. Turns out we looked pretty much like the other one wanted. Only simple things were different and sometimes we'd play around and change them to turn the other one on, I'd where certain types of clothes or do my hair a certain way and she'd do the same. It was fucking awesome. It's how I invented (although someone else may have done this too) the boxer-skirt. My gf stumbled down into the basement in my boxers one morning and sat down with her best friend and her boyfriend (My friend) then had to get up complaining about wedgies. So I grabbed some scissors... Seeing my clearly enhanced new type of clothing her best friend's bf said they were hot so his gf went and grabbed another pair. Sure they weren't very useful for anything but my friend and I enjoyed them thoroughly.

You may say it's innocent, but I really don't see the need to talk about girls you find attractive in front of your girl. I mean doesn't it seem obvious she will start trying to live up to some standard you create through your constant exemplification of women?

Appreciate a hot looking body? That in itself is a ridiculous statement. Sure, anyone can be like, oh yeah she's hot, but I just don't see the meaning in the statement. Haven't you heard the The Flamingos, "I only have eyes for you!". Listen to it, and get back to me.

It's really just a differing opinions. I don't think I'll ever be able to share the same view about sexual promiscuousness. I don't want threesomes, I don't see the point. I don't see the point in talking up other girls in front of my girl. To me my chick is the only one I would give the time of day. Takes a lot to turn my head, but that is because I hold women to high standards, and once you really find a woman. A real woman, all the little girls running around are nothing but a nuisance.

I love playing the "would you fuck her" game with like any friend who is applicable (in that they too think girls are hot and would like to fuck her... so my guy friends essentially) anyways... it's a great game. I don't know why I play it. It really isn't to impress guys though. It's just fun.

Anyways an update. I kinda doubt Pulsera will update this for anyone who is actually interested.

He told her she's not allowed to talk to me anymore. Apparently I'm not allowed to contact for several days. He sent me text messages pretending to be her with her phone which really hurt me because they were blunt and referred to me as nothing more than just her ex. Not a friend.. nothing. But yea she didn't write them She let him read my messages and write whatever he wanted to me. I'm actually quite mad about this.

Anyways she feels really bad she's ditching me... or so she claims. She says she'll resent me forever if she at least doesn't try giving into him and seeing if they can work it out. Whatever her perogative... but my opinion is that it's not necessary that I have to stand for that. It hurts me she didn't even tell me this, and let him send mean text messages.

Anyways... I don't know what will happen. I don't know if they'll break up... if I'll pick up the phone when she inevitably calls.... or if he forbids her to talk to me and she listens (she promises she won't) etc etc. I just don't know, because this is okay. If this was the only thing that ever happened I would be cool, but adding this incident to all of the previous ones... it's like one measly box being added to an elevator that had already been at capacity... will that just one box break it... or can it stand going over a little bit. I know this is a very crappy metaphor, but it's how I feel.

So I don't even know if you'll ever read this topic again Puls, but if you did, if it bothers you I posted this I guess I'm sorry... not really, but I'll say that I am, I just needed to write this down, and give some sort of closure to this massive completely hijacked and off of the point thread. Now maybe this thread can die.

Well you probably like talking about who you want to fuck. Um, when did I say that was a bad thing? It's the appropriateness of the setting. Also for a woman to do it, especially when she tries to talk like a man, is just annoying.

Also your update is almost exactly what I predicted. Do you go watch the movie "Election"? I bet you didn't, because you just want to endlessly talk through your emotions which is fine, but.......I think you've lost your friend, and your lesbian experiments to a penis. How does that make you feel?

Appreciate a hot looking body? That in itself is a ridiculous statement. Sure, anyone can be like, oh yeah she's hot, but I just don't see the meaning in the statement.

That's kinda the point, there's no real meaning to it, it's just a little game. I really don't know why it's entertaining or fun but I have found it to be. It's also not something that's constantly being discussed either, it's every once in a while, yeah it adds up but I mean like it's not an everyday kinda thing.

Haven't you heard the The Flamingos, "I only have eyes for you!". Listen to it, and get back to me.

I get your point. When I'm in love with a girl, no one is even comparable to the beauty I see in them. I make sure they know that too, I'm probably guilty of complimenting a little too much.
When we play this "game" it's the fact that it has no real meaning or point that makes it fun. One of the kind of "unspoken" rules of the game is we only really ever did it with complete strangers or people on TV. It adds to the meaningless of it that way.
I guess I can't really explain it too well.

It's really just a differing opinions. I don't think I'll ever be able to share the same view about sexual promiscuousness. I don't want threesomes, I don't see the point. I don't see the point in talking up other girls in front of my girl.
I know this will sound weird because of what I said above, but I've also said this before. I HATE threesomes, so fucking much. I wouldn't want to have a threesome with a girl I loved or even liked. I generally don't get too jealous but someone always has an issue and it could definitely be me if I did.
The second girl I was talking about was in one of the worst times in my life, I don't even know how we started dating beyond the fact that she apparently picked me up at my house one day and before that I only knew her from school, and HATED her. I find nothing attractive about this girl from looks to personality but somehow she's gets fucked enough to be called one of the biggest sluts in my area. Now I'm added to the list of guys she's slept with and trust me, I've been dissed for this for over six months now and all I can do is shake my head and say "I know...". The reminders/jokes come from everyone from friends, strangers at school to even my parents.
So what caused my insane fucking lapse of judgment? Benzos, lot's and lots of benzos and even more alcohol. I was massively addicted and left earth for about two months. I was an empty shell, I didn't act, talk, behave like myself and I remember only fragments of that time. I have been told I acted like a zombie or as if I was possessed by someone else.
Thankfully I quit doing them and although the withdrawal from cutting down so fast was insane and horrible, I would not have done it any other way, I needed the drug out of my body.
I made so many horrible decisions during that time and have had so many consequences for them. I still do have consequences that I'm paying for. I regret falling into that state so much, I doubt i regret anything more that I have done in my life.
Anyways...

I guess my point is, when I'm sober (which is always, I don't touch alcohol or benzos though I do do psychedelics) I'm not as slutty as I described above, I would never hit on another girl whether or not it was in front of my girlfriend, I will never take part in another threesome and I never plan on having casual sex again.

This is largely off topic though and I'm getting annoyed at myself for repeatedly doing this so I'll try to stop.

ON TOPIC:
Holy shit Ojise, I'm really sorry she let him do that to you, I thought he sounded like a dick. She's sounding like a dick now too, she'll resent you if she doesn't try to work things out with some fuckhead? Thats fucked up. You're her best friend... not someone to blame this on.
She's the one who told him (even though that was the right thing to do IMO).
You definitely don't have to stand for this or even put up with it. You can choose to forgive her later if you want to, but you don't have to, your not obligated to, just remember that.
I'm glad your letting this shit out, this kinda stuff eats people away.
Just do what you feel is right and whatever keeps you happy, don't let some asshole get you down, he's not worth it and unless your friend sees that then she probably isn't either but I would give her a chance before ditching her, she's obviously very caught up in a net of emotions right now too.
For her sake I really hope she leaves him, nobody should ever get to tell someone else who they get to speak to or not.

Best of luck by the way.

Probably because it feels like she is undermining your masculinity.

Well, that certainly could be something- but I'm not quite sure it's what it is. I don't consider myself all that macho- and I enjoy having a "she's hot" conversation every now and then. But whenever she mentions that she would have started a relationship with her best friend had I not come along then I just get that weird feeling again.

Well, that certainly could be something- but I'm not quite sure it's what it is. I don't consider myself all that macho- and I enjoy having a "she's hot" conversation every now and then. But whenever she mentions that she would have started a relationship with her best friend had I not come along then I just get that weird feeling again.

Yeah see that's why there's that unspoken rule...
Obviously not everyone has that rule but you can see why it makes sense. I too would be uncomfortable if my ex had said something like that.

Well, that certainly could be something- but I'm not quite sure it's what it is. I don't consider myself all that macho- and I enjoy having a "she's hot" conversation every now and then. But whenever she mentions that she would have started a relationship with her best friend had I not come along then I just get that weird feeling again.

I think its more like she is undermining your relationship and your feelings for her.

If she makes comments like the one above that is.

I think its more like she is undermining your relationship and your feelings for her.

If she makes comments like the one above that is.

Actually, that sounds more like it...

But I trust her. We were talking a little while ago about a saucy set of pictures she and her best friend (the one she would have dated) made. And I asked "Wait, she's bi too, right?" she replied, "Yeah." I kinda hesitated for a sec then said "Oh..." But she reassured me that no funny business went down that night.

Actually, that sounds more like it...

But I trust her. We were talking a little while ago about a saucy set of pictures she and her best friend (the one she would have dated) made. And I asked "Wait, she's bi too, right?" she replied, "Yeah." I kinda hesitated for a sec then said "Oh..." But she reassured me that no funny business went down that night.

Yeah man, respect and trust is vital in a relationship but if you find out about her making you a cuckold, dont take it sitting down.

Wow, did anyone else read this thread and conclude, 'These girls are emotionally damaged beyond repair'?

...I wouldn't say beyond repair but both are clearly emotionally damaged/hurt.
They are in a pretty fucked up situation.

That's kinda the point, there's no real meaning to it, it's just a little game. I really don't know why it's entertaining or fun but I have found it to be. It's also not something that's constantly being discussed either, it's every once in a while, yeah it adds up but I mean like it's not an everyday kinda thing.

Agreed, and I would be naive to think girls don't start that conversation up constantly, but I always wonder why would my girl feel the need to talk about the attractiveness of other women?

I get your point. When I'm in love with a girl, no one is even comparable to the beauty I see in them. I make sure they know that too, I'm probably guilty of complimenting a little too much.
When we play this "game" it's the fact that it has no real meaning or point that makes it fun. One of the kind of "unspoken" rules of the game is we only really ever did it with complete strangers or people on TV. It adds to the meaningless of it that way.
I guess I can't really explain it too well.

I know what you mean, it's just meaningless talk about what you find attractive, and what they find attractive. It has no meaning though for me, and I can easily see it putting doubt into the girl about the way she looks. I feel that is honestly why a lot of women care about how men view women, so they can then try and appeal to his sense of beauty. It will always come up, but if a woman was secure enough I don't think she would even need to know what I found attractive, because it would be her.

It's the same type of question when a girl asks you which one of their friends you would sleep with, it seems innocent, but it never is...

I know this will sound weird because of what I said above, but I've also said this before. I HATE threesomes, so fucking much. I wouldn't want to have a threesome with a girl I loved or even liked. I generally don't get too jealous but someone always has an issue and it could definitely be me if I did.
The second girl I was talking about was in one of the worst times in my life, I don't even know how we started dating beyond the fact that she apparently picked me up at my house one day and before that I only knew her from school, and HATED her. I find nothing attractive about this girl from looks to personality but somehow she's gets fucked enough to be called one of the biggest sluts in my area. Now I'm added to the list of guys she's slept with and trust me, I've been dissed for this for over six months now and all I can do is shake my head and say "I know...". The reminders/jokes come from everyone from friends, strangers at school to even my parents.
So what caused my insane fucking lapse of judgment? Benzos, lot's and lots of benzos and even more alcohol. I was massively addicted and left earth for about two months. I was an empty shell, I didn't act, talk, behave like myself and I remember only fragments of that time. I have been told I acted like a zombie or as if I was possessed by someone else.
Thankfully I quit doing them and although the withdrawal from cutting down so fast was insane and horrible, I would not have done it any other way, I needed the drug out of my body.
I made so many horrible decisions during that time and have had so many consequences for them. I still do have consequences that I'm paying for. I regret falling into that state so much, I doubt i regret anything more that I have done in my life.
Anyways...

I guess my point is, when I'm sober (which is always, I don't touch alcohol or benzos though I do do psychedelics) I'm not as slutty as I described above, I would never hit on another girl whether or not it was in front of my girlfriend, I will never take part in another threesome and I never plan on having casual sex again.

This is largely off topic though and I'm getting annoyed at myself for repeatedly doing this so I'll try to stop.

Agreed, I hate pills, but I do not hate alcohol. I still drink, but try and limit myself. It seems the dividing line are people who love to indulge themselves in everything possible, and the ones who do not. I am the one who does not indulge in all the sexual acts that could of been possible. It's just not me, and right now, baby I'M ME!!!!!!! Lol :P

ON TOPIC:
Holy shit Ojise, I'm really sorry she let him do that to you, I thought he sounded like a dick. She's sounding like a dick now too, she'll resent you if she doesn't try to work things out with some fuckhead? Thats fucked up. You're her best friend... not someone to blame this on.
She's the one who told him (even though that was the right thing to do IMO).
You definitely don't have to stand for this or even put up with it. You can choose to forgive her later if you want to, but you don't have to, your not obligated to, just remember that.
I'm glad your letting this shit out, this kinda stuff eats people away.
Just do what you feel is right and whatever keeps you happy, don't let some asshole get you down, he's not worth it and unless your friend sees that then she probably isn't either but I would give her a chance before ditching her, she's obviously very caught up in a net of emotions right now too.
For her sake I really hope she leaves him, nobody should ever get to tell someone else who they get to speak to or not.

Best of luck by the way.

I don't think luck will have anything to do with it. :P

Well, that certainly could be something- but I'm not quite sure it's what it is. I don't consider myself all that macho- and I enjoy having a "she's hot" conversation every now and then. But whenever she mentions that she would have started a relationship with her best friend had I not come along then I just get that weird feeling again.

It's because a girl would be taking your place, and instinctively you feel like less of a man, because you couldn't please her with your penis, she had to go get some pussy.

Wow, did anyone else read this thread and conclude, 'These girls are emotionally damaged beyond repair'?

Yeah, especially the part about one of them being "BI" and one of them being a "LESBIAN". I don't know, I don't think many "natural" lesbians exist. Most to me are created through a woman's hate of men.

Ahh, CarbonB is showing that he's paranoid, delusional and insecure, with the comment about all lesbians hating men. With the way Ojise seemed to hate pulsera's boyfriend and attempts to ruin their relationship, CarbonB is probably worse off than he was. It's not surprising CarbonB is insecure if you've seen those pictures of him and all the stuff he's posted. http://www.b-boys.com/forums/f63/carbonb-you-my-friend-gay-stop-denying-5844/

I thought it was the e-players site because I remember seeing it on google but it was really b-boys.

I wasn't going to post about him again but he seems to follow certain members around insulting them and that's not right. CarbonB, you worship black people and try to be black, which makes you a wigger. I'm sorry but I can't stand wiggers. Especially belligerent wiggers that think they're intelligent.

The most embarrassing thing about CarbonB isn't the fact that he's an over-weight retard with bitch tits and a misshapen head, it's the way he posts. He talks as if he's wise and attempts to be funny and witty but always fails at it and can't understand that he just looks retarded. The fact that he can't understand how retarded he is makes me think he's autistic. This may all sound insulting, and it is, but he shouldn't be following around female members and harassing them just because of his insecurities and I really do think he's probably autistic..

First time I heard "skinny-fat" was in a post about CarbonB. That's because he claimed to be strong but when everyone found the pictures of him he was obviously just weak and fat, with a pencil neck, pencil shoulders, with fat piled on top in all the right places to show what a weak, fat retard he is.

Seems that he had those pictures removed from the websites too. I like how he pretends he's an engineer and tries to debate with people in all the forums where people don't even normally debate and he just ends up using petty insults because he's too much of a retard to have a real debate. That's why he only prances around the sex and affection forum.

The way he posted old pictures of himself from when he wasn't as fat was pretty funny too. When other people update their pictures, he just posts old ones when he wasn't as fat as he is these days.

If I ever meet him in real life I'm going to beat him so hard and then I'll make sure he can't ever post on the internet again. This will be my last post in this topic. And my last post about/to carbonb. From now on I'll just ignore the retard. The worst trolls are the ones that actually look like trolls, which is why I can't stand carbonb.

HAAAAAAAAAAA ^^^^^^^^^^^ SMoked em.

Hands down smoked em all the way down to the filter. Gives this guy a prize haha.

secret lesbian relationship

if you don't mind, i'm going to add that to my bank of potential band names.