Ok. I have a hot gf. She gives great head...when she actually gives any. I've told her that she does (give it well), and she knows it.

For a while now, we just haven't had sex. She's never in the mood or whatever. But I'm horny just as much as I used to be, and jacking it isn't really doing it. It's kind of depressing, but I guess it's ok if she doesn't want to have sex with me. But why can't she just give me bj's?

So, ladies, I ask you. What would you make you want to give your bf head? What could he say to you or do? You love him, you think he's sexy, and he's great to you.

Being attracted to you would be a start.

Psh, I've been all over this with men not wanting a women and it's gotten me nothing but shit.

But I'll try and help.

Eh, well there are several things. It could be a cleanliness issue (I'm NOT saying you're dirty, just throwing out options) maybe you take too long to come, maybe there is no return on the favor, maybe you're too big and it is hard for her to do it, maybe you're too forceful.

You have to ask her... way too many options.

And as far as getting her to do it. Well ask her.

You're such a romantic. "Baby, I'm so horny, can you please suck my cock"?

You'd be suprised. Women kinda like it to be dirty some times. I'm not saying it works all the time but there is a huge rush when my girlfriend... well when I have one... says "I fucking want it now." It's awesome.

Thanks for the input, but it's none of these things. I'm incredibly clean. I come fairly quickly, especially since I never get it. I'm not especially big, and I'm very gentle. No hands forcing head down.

I've asked her before, in a totally non accusatory manner. She basically said she'd try to more, and didn't at all.

And to the guy before you...I'm afraid you might be right. I mean, I'm as good as I can be to her, and she constantly says how sexy I look, but maybe she really just isn't attracted to me...

Any other ideas?

Well if it is a mature relationship then surely you can simply discuss everything with her?!

It is amazing how MORE COMMUNICATION will help!

you gotta give her a blow job...are you licking her clit like you should?

Pffft. Leave her alone.
I hate being asked.
Makes the whole thing seem less generous

Just innocently fill her with booze...

Personally I think that there are certain topics about which discussion should be avoided.

"Why won't you give me blowjobs anymore?????" being one of them.

There are certain things that should be happening naturally, and like I said earlier, I doubt she's that amazingly attracted to him sexually if she avoids sex completely.
Unless she has some legitimate mineral deficiency or something which has messed up her sex drive, but even then talking about it will make it worse unless you're tactful.

If you want to talk, talk about how you can revive the relationship. Or just accept it.

Just whip it out and slap her in the face with it. She'll get the message.

Don't make her feel pressured to do it; if you ask why she never gives you head she might feel insulted/under appreciated and not want to do it at all. She'll start associating giving head with a bad feeling. That's negative reinforcement; which is a bad thing.

You need to positively reinforce her. Subtly mention how unbelievably awesome she is at giving head, how hot she looks when she does it, and how you fantasize about her lips on you all the time. If she starts to associate the act with a self-esteem boost, you'll positively reinforce the behavior and she'll want to do it. Maybe?

Just innocently fill her with booze...

It's really this easy....

Make her come.

Personally I think that there are certain topics about which discussion should be avoided.

"Why won't you give me blowjobs anymore?????" being one of them.

There are certain things that should be happening naturally, and like I said earlier, I doubt she's that amazingly attracted to him sexually if she avoids sex completely.
Unless she has some legitimate mineral deficiency or something which has messed up her sex drive, but even then talking about it will make it worse unless you're tactful.

If you want to talk, talk about how you can revive the relationship. Or just accept it.

I didnt mean just come out it with it like that. Maybe just express that there is a lack of fizzaz in the sex department.

I had a relationship where the sex got a bit shit, and all it took was getting it all out in the open, and oh my god the sex after was amazing. Before we had sex in a beddroom... standard positions... blah... after, we had done it everywhere in the house etc etc...

I guess it would depend on the relationship, the woman, maturity etc...

This is actually the best advice I've read so far. Giving head is just that, a giving thing. So when you ask for it, it makes her feel... well, less generous.

But then again I can't really say what makes me want to go down on my boyfriend more than I already do besides booze. I mean, I personally enjoy doing it so meh.

Try going and sitting next to her.

I hasn't researched it, but I saw a thexxth advice vid on Ytube yesterday that was talking about hormonal changes caused by the Pill. It said that for perhaps 40% of the women: their thexxth drive is lowered.

Be she on the Pill?

Of course, it seems that in a lot of relationshits the oral is often "one sided".

Of course, it seems that in a lot of relationshits the oral is often "one sided".
There you go, try 69. :o

Yah! Give as good as you get.

69: when people really begin to feed off each other in a completely symbiotic relationship.

You have to Wooh her! If you want her to do something that she doesn't do often then you do something spontaneous first.

For example if there is a lack in the sex department go out and buy her a toy like a vibrator and surprise her with it. Say something like "hey you haven't seem satisfied by sex lately so I thought maybe we could try this."

This way you bring up the lack of sex in the relationship but in a manner which is taking her feelings into consideration first. Then regardless of the outcome you will receive some sort of explanation.

....you know if you can't just talk to her like a rational adult

Whoo! Lots of responses. Here I go.

I really do enjoy giving oral, she just never wants it. Even less than sex. When we were doing it really often, she still wouldn't really want me to go down on her, she said she just liked sex better.

As for the whole "LOL CUMMUNICATE" thing... the people who said it has to be avoided, or tread lightly upon at the very least, are completely right. There's almost no real tactful way to say "Give more head". As I said, I innocently and maturely asked her about it before. She said she'd do it more. No luck.

Surprisingly though, our relationship is otherwise pretty good. We still do fun things together and laugh together. We see each other a bunch and love each other. It's just the sex department that's a nightmare.



Don't make her feel pressured to do it; if you ask why she never gives you head she might feel insulted/under appreciated and not want to do it at all. She'll start associating giving head with a bad feeling. That's negative reinforcement; which is a bad thing.

You need to positively reinforce her. Subtly mention how unbelievably awesome she is at giving head, how hot she looks when she does it, and how you fantasize about her lips on you all the time. If she starts to associate the act with a self-esteem boost, you'll positively reinforce the behavior and she'll want to do it. Maybe?


Spot on. Your posts are always good... Anyway, I tell her often how well she does it. She knows I think she's hot.

Ugh! This is such an awful catch 22. Either, I don't talk to her about it, and nothing changes, or I talk and possibly make things even worse.

Any better advice?

Some women like to get together & brag about the ways they avoid giving head. It probably doesn't apply in your case.

Any better advice?

Yeah. Even though the thought of losing her might be scary, you have to consider what's best for yourself. And only being partly happy is not it. You have to do something about it because there's more to a relationship than "hanging out".

Are you saying you would marry her and then deal with having a wife that never wants sex? No, of course you wouldn't. You would cheat on her or divorce her, if you even were dumb enough to go through with that. So there's no real point in getting any more attached to her without working out the physical side of things because there's nowhere it can go without there being problems like that in the relationship.

If she gets pissed off and it makes things worse, even if that ends the relationship you're better off. If she can't make you completely happy, find someone who can.

Basically what I'm saying is do whatever it takes to make your girl more into it, whether that be talk to her or whatever you think might work better. But I think that if you don't get it out there, it'll only get worse from here.

Do what i do.

Finger her so she moans and whatnot, then you tell her softly...

DOME ME UP HOE

then if she doesn't, just get up and walk away.

It's got to be a two way thing. If she's not giving you what you want is there any point to having a relationship with her and not just simply being friends whilst getting sex elsewhere?
She sounds kinda selfish..



If I had a boyfriend who I liked very much, I'd give him almost anything he wanted at any time.
That's a big point of a relationship to me, if the person you're with wants something from you, you give it to them. If you're not willing to give it to them you shouldnt be with them.

If I had a boyfriend who I liked very much, I'd give him almost anything he wanted at any time.
That's a big point of a relationship to me, if the person you're with wants something from you, you give it to them. If you're not willing to give it to them you shouldnt be with them.

I will give you one of those crazy guinea pigs with the spikey hair

More good advice/insights. Ok, what and how should I talk to her about it? I reaaaaaaally don't want to be accusatory. What's a mature and kind way that won't make her feel guilty and do it even less?

You're not being a dick, and any women with a brain is going to get that. Basicly, sex is part of the relationship, women usually like to talk about things so bring it up. I have no tact, so you may want to run this by someone else but be like:

"Baby, I've noticed latley that you don't want to (fuck,screw.hump,make love, choose your word here) much anymore. And while I respect your decission it does make me worried. Is there something that I'm doing wrong?"

Say I'm, that way she won't feel like you're pushing the blame on her. And honestly, a lot of women have a lowered sex drive. Maybe she's one of them. It sounds like you've lasted through the new and exciting part of the relationship, and now she is getting comfortable.

But YoYo has a point, you want an intimate relationship, and she sounds like she is being VERY selfish. If you care about a person you take care of their needs as well as yours. 20 minutes to suck you off isn't going to fucking kill her. Sounds to me like she is use to having it her way, and isn't willing to give. I dunno, it might be trouble later on down the road.

You're not being a dick, and any women with a brain is going to get that. Basicly, sex is part of the relationship, women usually like to talk about things so bring it up. I have no tact, so you may want to run this by someone else but be like:

"Baby, I've noticed latley that you don't want to (fuck,screw.hump,make love, choose your word here) much anymore. And while I respect your decission it does make me worried. Is there something that I'm doing wrong?"

Say I'm, that way she won't feel like you're pushing the blame on her. And honestly, a lot of women have a lowered sex drive. Maybe she's one of them. It sounds like you've lasted through the new and exciting part of the relationship, and now she is getting comfortable.

But YoYo has a point, you want an intimate relationship, and she sounds like she is being VERY selfish. If you care about a person you take care of their needs as well as yours. 20 minutes to suck you off isn't going to fucking kill her. Sounds to me like she is use to having it her way, and isn't willing to give. I dunno, it might be trouble later on down the road.

I'd say that, but in those words I'd kind of sound like a total tool.

And 20 minutes, hah. More like 3 minutes.

Thatd piss me off, originally i beliebe give to receive, go down on her then have her return the favor. But she doesnt even want to go down that path? damn son...sorry.

Maybe you can talk some BS, sort of make her enjoy it more, talk some dirty shit, tell her how good she tastes etc. haha see if you cant build some shit off that cause maybe shes uncomfortable with the idea therefore -instant turnoff to oral.