My friend back home called me crying, she's been with her dude like a year okay. Apparently he is having problems with maintaining an erection. But today she saw all these porn sites on her computer. All these little 18 year old blonde girls. Now, she's a bigger girl, nothing huge, and she treats him like a fucking king. She wants to come live with me because she thinks that he doesn't want to be with her. When they try to fuck or she touches him he goes soft. If he does it himself then he can keep the erection. I don't know what to tell her. So now I'm really curious. I know he's older, early fourties, and he had a heart attack so I told her that it could be a major reason right there, but my question is this:

Does this sound normal to any of you? I havn't been with a guy in years and don't really know what to tell her. I mean if he's good enough to look at porn and jerk it shouldn't he be able to fuck her then? Can you jerk off soft?

Jack, you're good at this kind of shit. Any words of wisdom?

Any answers would be cool, I know she loves him and I don't know how to reasure her.

I mean if he's good enough to look at porn and jerk it shouldn't he be able to fuck her then?

Not necessarily.

Maybe she doesn't turn him on.

Not necessarily.

Maybe she doesn't turn him on.

yeah, but then why would they be 'together'?

Not necessarily.

Maybe she doesn't turn him on.

I asked her if she brought that point up with him, seeing as she's a little bigger and all the girls on the porn site were really skinny. She said that he says she's beautiful and she's great in bed, blah blah blah. I guess he could be lying though.

She said that he says she's beautiful and she's great in bed, blah blah blah. I guess he could be lying though.

Well of course he's not going to say: "You're actually pretty ugly and horrible in the sack."

I asked her if she brought that point up with him, seeing as she's a little bigger and all the girls on the porn site were really skinny. She said that he says she's beautiful and she's great in bed, blah blah blah. I guess he could be lying though.

probably isn't lying, does it matter what the girls in porn look like? isn't that basically the root of dysfunction in today's society? people trying to emulate others...tell her to chill, and stop giving him money and stuff if she is. because he MIGHT be using her, in that case it all makes sense.

yeah, but then why would they be 'together'?

He's in his 40's and it's the best he can do..?

I don't know.

they're might be a loss of that 'spark' if I was her i'd just ask him about it

~~~~~~

also don't people who're porn fanatics regularly clear history/cache/cookies? :o

It could just be that he's bored of her or the relationship and finds it easiest to just empty his balls to porn than to talk about breaking up.

There could be a mental block for him, maybe he's had something happen that makes him nervous around women and whacking it to porn doesn't fill him with that anxiety?

Either way, if he's not going to be open about it and let her know what's going then she would probably be better off with someone else...

shes fat and hes in his 40's, wtf does she expect? he settled for her because he cant get a hot 18 year old to deep throat his cock. she settled for him because shes too lazy to eat right and work out and get a young fun stud. tell them both to shut the fuck up and enjoy what little they have because clearly they cant do better.

mebe this.

although from experiance, sometimes sex with your hand IS better, WAY better than sex in person.
I mean, I always come when I jerk off, yet when I have sex theres a 1 in 4 chance that I won't come.

When you say 'little 18 year olds' could be a bit more precise, please?

Do you mean 'little' as in not such well busomed as your friend?

If he can keep an erection while jerking off then chances are there is something psychological about having sex with her that makes him soften.

Might simply be because he's had a heart attack and he's scared of having another if they have sex.

Might be he loves her and likes the idea of fucking her but maybe his tastes are for younger 'meat'. She could try wearing a girly t-shirt to bed and being totally clean shaven.

Really she needs to talk to him, find his fantasies and then use the right words.

Little as in very skinny, no tits, no hips, no ass.

I just don't understand, if he wants something else why he can't just tell her so she can go on with her life. I mean, I wouldn't want to be with someone who was only partially with me.

You are an idiot. When I say a little bigger, I mean she has tits and hips. Like most mature women do. And just because you don't prefer a certain body type doesn't mean you can talk shit about it. I'm sure you would hardly fit into the "hot stud" catagorey yourself.

Yet that's okay isn't it because it's you. I don't see how her looks has any affect on you. Don't you know the phrase "live and let live". Enjoy living the steriotypical life that so many MTV brain washed people do.

They need to sort it out between themself. If they are serious about each other then he should be able to talk openly about it all.

I don't see how her looks has any affect on you. Don't you know the phrase "live and let live"

Umm... Didn't you come here to ask us for advice as to why your friend isn't turning on her boyfriend??

Well, that makes her looks COMPLETELY RELEVANT.

Also, you could help us out here by either A) showing us a picture of her, or B) finding a picture online of a female that looks like her.

Umm... Didn't you come here to ask us for advice as to why your friend isn't turning on her boyfriend??

Well, that makes her looks COMPLETELY RELEVANT.

Well, in relation to the way her boy friend see's her. His taste are not the same as mine, which is not the same as yours. So no matter what she looks like to you it still might be the hottest chick in the world to someone else. It was more a question on erections, and male behavior.

See link below for picture. She kind of looks like the lead singer of My Ruin. More tattoos and a little older.

http://www.inkedtalk.com/wp-content/uploads/tairrie02.jpg

Little as in very skinny, no tits, no hips, no ass.

I just don't understand, if he wants something else why he can't just tell her so she can go on with her life. I mean, I wouldn't want to be with someone who was only partially with me.

Might be worth your friend digging a little deeper in his computer use. Maybe he does just like Size 0/heroin chic and maybe something a bit more...

And his lack of erotic feelings for her says little about his love for her. Although if you love someone you do tend to find then erotic no matter what.

Bad example time: I find it difficult to have sex with a woman when she's on her period if she uses pads. Blood don't bother me none (lol) and neither do tampons but pads just give me images of 'tena lady' , bladder weakness, paraplegic etc.

She might be the most beautiful woman in the world but if put my hand down there and touch pampers then thats it for the night.

Well, in relation to the way her boy friend see's her. His taste are not the same as mine, which is not the same as yours. So no matter what she looks like to you it still might be the hottest chick in the world to someone else. It was more a comment on erections, and male behavior.

You wanna know something about male behavior?

There is a general standard of beauty for men. It might vary slightly from person to person, but only slightly. Anything else is considered a fetish.

It is not the same as it is for women, who have this whole "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" thing.

See link below for picture. She kind of looks like the lead singer of My Ruin. More tattoos and a little older.

http://www.inkedtalk.com/wp-content/uploads/tairrie02.jpg

.....srsly? :o

When I say a little bigger, I mean she has tits and hips. Like most mature women do.

I (http://www.cblf.org/messages/52938.htm) see (http://www.cblf.org/messages/53175.htm).

I just don't understand, if he wants something else why he can't just tell her so she can go on with her life.

Oh, btw, if you think "wanting to s3x0r someones up" is the only reason to give a shit about a fellow human being... you're... rather shallow, no?

Maybe it's not.

Oh, btw, if you think "wanting to s3x0r someones up" is the only reason to give a shit about a fellow human being... you're... rather shallow, no?

Maybe it's not.

What?

I'm not saying you can't care about someone with out taking their looks into consideration, and maybe I am shallow, but tell me you would want a relationship with NO sex.

You are an idiot. When I say a little bigger, I mean she has tits and hips. Like most mature women do. And just because you don't prefer a certain body type doesn't mean you can talk shit about it. I'm sure you would hardly fit into the "hot stud" catagorey yourself.

Yet that's okay isn't it because it's you. I don't see how her looks has any affect on you. Don't you know the phrase "live and let live". Enjoy living the steriotypical life that so many MTV brain washed people do.


no, you mean she has wide hips, big saggy tits and a body fat % higher than her age. now shes suffering the consequences of her poor genetics and laziness, a boyfriend who goes soft trying to fuck her. he can say whatever he wants, his dick doesnt lie. hes attracted to hot petite chicks like most mature men. i dont see where you think i said her looks affect me. they dont, i dont give a fuck if shes a fatty. i also dont see where mtv comes in but i will go right ahead living my life and fucking girls who make my cock hard. dont be so sensitive, hit the gym.

What?

I'm not saying you can't care about someone with out taking their looks into consideration, and maybe I am shallow, but tell me you would want a relationship with NO sex.

I have several relationships with no sex. Aside from my relationship with my government, I tend to cherish them.

Did it ever occur to you that maybe your friend is just a boring lay? Men are very simple in our taste; we want healthy, fertile, energetic women, with an appetite for dirty sex. So basically, we want women between 14-30. However, age isn't really important if the women carries certain merits.

If your friend is a prude, I suggest shedding that crap, suck his dick, take it in the ass, and let him blow it where ever he likes. Sex is amazing, but only if you let go of social dogma and satisfy your desires. And if that fails, tell her to find a hot little 18 year old to join them, get an escort if need be. Her exciting him in this way, will be all the turn on he'll need after that.

In my opinion, a women is either retarded, lazy, or just hasn't got much priority if she actually has to ask why her man doesn't want sex.

It seems to me like sex is kind of important in a relationship. If you're not sexually attracted to someone, you shouldn't be in a romantic relationship.

If he's not attracted to her, and he's into something wildly different than anything she can aspire to be, she should probably cut her losses and find a guy who's more into her 'look.'

This is especially important, because sticking around with a guy you love but who isn't attracted to you will do horrible things to your self esteem.

I (http://www.cblf.org/messages/52938.htm) see (http://www.cblf.org/messages/53175.htm).




where the hell did you find a christian manboy love site?

fucking freaky ass pedophiles.
I mean if you wanna rape kids thats one thing, but if you wanna rape kids while beleiving in a god that hates fags and stuff, well that's jsut awkward.

You are an idiot. When I say a little bigger, I mean she has tits and hips. Like most mature women do.

oh fuck off. some women are slim, deal with it. Just because it makes you jealous there's no need to belittle them.

Well, in relation to the way her boy friend see's her. His taste are not the same as mine, which is not the same as yours. So no matter what she looks like to you it still might be the hottest chick in the world to someone else. It was more a question on erections, and male behavior.

See link below for picture. She kind of looks like the lead singer of My Ruin. More tattoos and a little older.

http://www.inkedtalk.com/wp-content/uploads/tairrie02.jpg

*pulls overalls up over plumbercrack and waves wrench "well that thar be the problem now, fixin this kinda mess ain't gonna be easy, gonn need replace this *holds girls pic* if you wan dem pipes workin again...

oh fuck off. some women are slim, deal with it. Just because it makes you jealous there's no need to belittle them.
QFT. I don't like "bigger" women, if that's what you want to call them. Or "mature", or "filled out", whatever. I've always preferred slimmer girls.

Anyway, @ OP, it might be nothing. Jacking off and having sex are very different. I've lost erections before, while at the same time wanting to fuck her so bad I am practically in hysterics.

Most people in this thread make me sick. You don't need sex to have a romantic relationship.

You don't need sex or sexual acts, but you do need sexual chemistry. If two people have no sexual attraction to each other, they're just friends.

You don't need sex or sexual acts, but you do need sexual chemistry. If two people have no sexual attraction to each other, they're just friends.
http://www.totse.com/community/images/icons/icon4.gif Love does not need sexual attraction.

^Delusional. They are inextricably linked and you're a moron if you think otherwise.

Platonic love can exist without sexual attraction, but romantic love is different.

He must be a homosexual. Hell, I would get a hardon if Miss. Trunchbull touched me up.

maybe he is very sensitive down there and fired one off way to early? i had a girl that made me cum from touching cuddling and kissing. so embarrassing. ive never been the same since.
even more embarrassing the first time i kissed her i came and had to hide it while trying to sneak away before she saw. hard for her not to i dont know what is worse her thinking i pissed myself or the other. lol. either case i wasnt going to let her wander down there. embarrassing to let the woman know that problem. needless to say chance of sex 0%.

wow, way to go quick draw mcgraw

to the op, reason he gets soft is because he's old. and since he's had a heart attack he can't take viagra or pills like that. it's a big muthafucking DUH!!!

You are an idiot. When I say a little bigger, I mean she has tits and hips. Like most mature women do. And just because you don't prefer a certain body type doesn't mean you can talk shit about it. I'm sure you would hardly fit into the "hot stud" catagorey yourself.

Yet that's okay isn't it because it's you. I don't see how her looks has any affect on you. Don't you know the phrase "live and let live". Enjoy living the steriotypical life that so many MTV brain washed people do.

Ahh the angsty ramblings of a woman's mind. Has he struck a nerve? Perhaps you are a little "plus sized" and resent the perception of beauty in our society? Or perhaps you are so wrapped up in your own perception that if anyone else holds a different idea of beauty they must be MTV brainwashed and you must resort to ad hominem attacks. Do not forget it is YOU that came looking for help here.

Let me remind you of a critical difference between you and mrman, and of a critical similarity between mrman, your "friends" boyfriend, and I. We have a penis. That means that we are infinitely more in touch with the man in question than you are. Do you know what men want to have sex with? Attractive women, whether that be physically, mentally, or emotionally.

I find it ironic that you would attack mrman for "prefering a certain body type", when, as evidence by your friend's boyfriend's computer images, he shares similar tastes. As do most men. So while it is certainly possible to be attracted to a "mature" (which I take to mean slightly husky and middle-aged) women, it is by no means even close to this man's ideal women. And an unattractive woman could be, suprise surprise, the reason he has trouble getting his soldier to stand straight, an affect that could be exacerbated by his heart condition!

But of course none of this matters because all women are beautiful in their own way and if a man doesn't find a chunky woman attractive he's a chauvinist pig and blah blah blah lifetime lifetime lifetime. Keep reading those hallmark cards baby, there's an answer to life somewhere in there.

Ahh the angsty ramblings of a woman's mind. Has he struck a nerve? Perhaps you are a little "plus sized" and resent the perception of beauty in our society? Or perhaps you are so wrapped up in your own perception that if anyone else holds a different idea of beauty they must be MTV brainwashed and you must resort to ad hominem attacks. Do not forget it is YOU that came looking for help here.

Let me remind you of a critical difference between you and mrman, and of a critical similarity between mrman, your "friends" boyfriend, and I. We have a penis. That means that we are infinitely more in touch with the man in question than you are. Do you know what men want to have sex with? Attractive women, whether that be physically, mentally, or emotionally.

I find it ironic that you would attack mrman for "prefering a certain body type", when, as evidence by your friend's boyfriend's computer images, he shares similar tastes. As do most men. So while it is certainly possible to be attracted to a "mature" (which I take to mean slightly husky and middle-aged) women, it is by no means even close to this man's ideal women. And an unattractive woman could be, suprise surprise, the reason he has trouble getting his soldier to stand straight, an affect that could be exacerbated by his heart condition!

But of course none of this matters because all women are beautiful in their own way and if a man doesn't find a chunky woman attractive he's a chauvinist pig and blah blah blah lifetime lifetime lifetime. Keep reading those hallmark cards baby, there's an answer to life somewhere in there.

The perception of beauty in society is ever changing. It never stays the same for an extended period of time. I'm not saying that people can't be attracted to who they want to be attracted, and maybe my wording was incorrect when I wrote that, so I apologize. It does sound very critical of others, which was not my intent.

What I'm trying to get across is WHY would he stay with her if he did not want to be with her. It's a relationship, and romantic love involves sex. And maybe I am wrong but, sex is something special between you and that person, it's something to share. It's suppose to be that one thing between the two of you that is your thing. I mean, if it's a physical thing, that's fine, I can see where she would be okay and try to work past it, but if it's a perception thing, and he doesn't find her attractive then why wouldn't he just tell her?

And, as much as you're all going to bitch about it, being a women is way different from being a man. It's a huge double standard which no male will ever get. You may think it's feminist bullshit, but people treat you like shit if you're not dressed a certain way, if you talk too loud, if you are too skinny you get made fun of, if you're too fat you get made fun of. A man has an extra 20 pounds he's stocky. If a women has it she's a cow who deserves to be beaten for her horrible crimes against humanity.

And, as much as you're all going to bitch about it, being a women is way different from being a man. It's a huge double standard which no male will ever get. You may think it's feminist bullshit, but people treat you like shit if you're not dressed a certain way, if you talk too loud, if you are too skinny you get made fun of, if you're too fat you get made fun of. A man has an extra 20 pounds he's stocky. If a women has it she's a cow who deserves to be beaten for her horrible crimes against humanity.

The fact that women care about all this is what perpetuates it. Do men care if they're 20 lbs overweight? Usually no. Since 90% of guys don't give a shit, it's not an issue. The fact that women get so upset over this shit is hilarious. If you stop watching tv, stop reading Maxim, and stop listening to fucking Jordin Sparks then no one is going to tell you any of this shit. Do people in real life actually walk up and say "you're fat?" If they do all the time, then you know you have a problem.

Women should quit being so fucking insecure. Silverfuck said being in a relationship with a guy who doesn't find you attractive hurts your self esteem. It shouldn't. What other people think really doesn't matter. Your boyfriend/girlfriend is just a person. If they're an asshole, wah. Dump that person and find a new one. This shit is not hard to figure out. The problem is that people are so afraid of "being alone" that they have to cling to another person and wrap up their own self-worth in that other person. Pathetic.

Chances are, this girl is not attractive. And no, that isn't a judgment passed by some mythic concept of "society." Men are attracted to certain genetic features. Proportion along the lines of the golden mean, symmetry (not perfect symmetry), women who smell good indicate healthy and compatible immune systems, etc. The list is endless. There are only so many things you can fix. However, whether or not you give a shit is what really matters. If you look your best, smell your best, exercise and eat well to stay healthy, then you'll feel better about yourself, have more confidence, and attract other people. Confidence is hot. If a girl is average looking but has a banging personality, she instantly seems hotter.

The point is, he's 40 and can't take viagra. She's not attractive. Incredible sex is not going to somehow result from this combination. So the way to solve this problem is for them to either accept their pathetic lives, or break up and find new people.

Your friend sounds pretty pathetic, OP. No offense or anything...

Women should quit being so fucking insecure. Silverfuck said being in a relationship with a guy who doesn't find you attractive hurts your self esteem. It shouldn't. What other people think really doesn't matter. Your boyfriend/girlfriend is just a person. If they're an asshole, wah. Dump that person and find a new one. This shit is not hard to figure out.
I can't think of a single person who has this attitude in reality. Most of what you've written is spot-on, but this isn't just a female problem.

If by romantic love you just mean a synonym for sexual love, yeah. Either that or my elderly neighbors aren't really in love.

They are inextricably linked and you're a moron if you think otherwise.
Or maybe he's just different/not obsessed with sex? I agree with him, and unless you're telling me I'm delusional (a possibility!) we're right.

yeah, but then why would they be 'together'?
Just because you aren't wanting to fuck your partner all the time doesn't mean you don't still love the person. Naturally, a couple's sex life will die down a little over time. Maybe she just doesn't turn the man on, or he doesn't get her in the right mood or something. Maybe they need to spice things up to make it interesting again.

where the hell did you find a christian manboy love site?

Where, you ask? Why...

fucking freaky ass pedophiles.

There!

Amusingly enough, CBLF is one of the older non-pr0n community hubs... boychat ran the homophobic, self-loathing, disgusting little christians out of BC, they got butthurt and started a website where they can hate themselves for being the creations of an allegedly-angry God, and then in a beautiful twist of irony, the site got more-or-less mobbed by progressive Christianity, and now the self-loathing fundies have noplace to go, lol...

Here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ka9lATy9JKc). Have a disturbingly surrealist music video. ;)

QFT. I don't like "bigger" women, if that's what you want to call them. Or "mature", or "filled out", whatever. I've always preferred slimmer girls.

Well, I like plump girls as well, until they start going "OMG THIS OTHER GIRL LOOKS LIKE A TWIG AND HAS NO TITS ", it's just pathetic.

I love it...

If a girl's skinny, "she has no hips or tits."

Yeah, keep rationalizing your fat ass, OP.

I don't really have anything against being fat. It's a lifestyle choice (albeit an unhealthy one).

But goddamn it!! Stop trying to rationalize it or make it more "accepted." Or trying to make every chick who isn't an obnoxious cow sound like an anorexic bitch!

The perception of beauty in society is ever changing. It never stays the same for an extended period of time. I'm not saying that people can't be attracted to who they want to be attracted, and maybe my wording was incorrect when I wrote that, so I apologize. It does sound very critical of others, which was not my intent.

What I'm trying to get across is WHY would he stay with her if he did not want to be with her. It's a relationship, and romantic love involves sex. And maybe I am wrong but, sex is something special between you and that person, it's something to share. It's suppose to be that one thing between the two of you that is your thing. I mean, if it's a physical thing, that's fine, I can see where she would be okay and try to work past it, but if it's a perception thing, and he doesn't find her attractive then why wouldn't he just tell her?

And, as much as you're all going to bitch about it, being a women is way different from being a man. It's a huge double standard which no male will ever get. You may think it's feminist bullshit, but people treat you like shit if you're not dressed a certain way, if you talk too loud, if you are too skinny you get made fun of, if you're too fat you get made fun of. A man has an extra 20 pounds he's stocky. If a women has it she's a cow who deserves to be beaten for her horrible crimes against humanity.

waaaah waaaah people make fun. its not all roses for guys dipshit. ever been around men? men talk shit on their friends all day long. you know how we respond? we laugh, we dont go home and cry. you know what else can be a real drag about being a man? rejection. while you are busy feeling sorry for yourself instead of squating guys are busy asking cute girls out and getting shot down. sometimes its from word one, sometimes its after one date, sometimes its after weeks of communication and effort. you know what we do then? suck it up and move on, rejection is part of life.

Leave her alone! Being "a women" is apparently hard enough!!

Actually, I find humor in your logic that I am obese. If you had seen my pictures (which have been posted on &T) you would know I'm actually fairly thin, with no hips or ass (So most of my mocking was related to my perception of myself.) My bmi is well with in the ranges of average.

I'm not saying I'm perfect. I'm far fucking from it. But if someone wants to live an unhealthy life style, be it weight, drug addiction, drinking, random sex partners, whatever. It is thier own shit, not mine. I do not mock them for their actions, but I do think they should stand up and accept the repercussions.

Example: I smoke, and I know one day it's going to bite me in the ass. I know it's unhealthy, but do I need every goddamn person on the street stopping me and telling me. Nope, not in the slightest. I know what I'm doing and how it will affect me in the future. It is a risk I am willing to take.

And most obese people are not lazy cows. Sure, some of them are. But there are a lot of skinny people out there that are just as lazy. You all seem to fit them into stereotypes. And I said that my words came out wrong, I do not think most skinny people are anorexic, seeing as in high school I heard the never ending question "Do you throw up after you eat". But I know that things are based entirely on your looks, before people judge you. I'm not speaking of sexual appeal I'm speaking about people on the street.

Example # 2: My mother had a stroke, a horrible stroke and the doctor's gave her steroids. She gained weight rapidly, while having to relearn her ABC's and how to do simple math. One day at the store some one mooed at her. Now, my mother with a fucking medical condition, who had been average weight her whole life until something that was out of her hands, does not deserve to be mooed at. She eats right, works out, but because of circumstances she gained the weight. Who the fuck are you, or any little shit head on the street to take everything she had to battle to live, and turn it into a joke. Just to impress your high school fucking buddies. Is that right?

You all seem to think you're so goddamn enlightened yet you still cling to the thoughts that will keep you chained down. If you met a woman/man who could be you're best friend. She/He would always be there for you, always help you out and she/he was obese. Would you turn her/his friendship away because of the mocking comments made by your peers?

And you can fucking mock my thoughts on double standards all you want. But it's true and fairly simple to see. If a women fucks ten guys she's a whore, a man does it he's a player. If a man gains weight it's a beer belly, if a women does she's let herself go. It's okay for men to go bald when it is an obvious fact of aging for some people, when the same effects of aging on a women is taboo.

And women are part of it. I'm not saying they're not. All the shit that women worked for are being turned around by these girls who dance in a fucking 50 cent video with their tits hanging out. They don't have the logic to think about what they are going to do when the sun has ruined their skin, and their tits sag to their knees. They are the one's who are turning women back into sex things, willing to dance in large groups around a man, like a fucking harem.

Example # 3 I am a manager for a shipping company. I work my ass of with calls at four am, moving 80 pound coolers of human organs. One night this asshole comes up to one of my drivers, who I'm the boss of, and tries to get him to sign for it. I reach for it and he rips it out of my hand. I explain to him that the manager has to sign for all inbound organs. And he just stares at my like he doesn't understand English. His answer, well who would of thought they would let women manage by themselves.

And it's not just the women, the obese. You mock everyone. Be in African Americans, Mexicans, homosexuals, anyone who doesn't fit into the American dream. It's like Hitler's fucking army has been reborn by most of &T.

Wow, you need to chill.

First of all, on the fatness issue. I don't hate fat people. Some people do have a harder time managing their weight than others, and I can sympathize with that. It's not fat people that piss me off, it's fat people who think they're better than non-fat people.

Now, about the double standards, there are plenty of double standards working against men. Women aren't the only ones losing out on that. So that is by far a moot point.

And about totse being Hitler's army... Way to generalize. I hope you realize you're posting here too!

And finally, please, for the love of god, STOP SPELLING IT:

"A women" when it is singular.

Gadzooks -

First of all Hitler's army was in reference to most people who are VERY racist/sexist on &T. You can not deny that they are.

And second of all, I am in no way trying to attack you. I enjoy the debate. My opinions are my own, as are yours. I do not try to take them away from you but I am able to argue my point. Infact, I hold high respect for you, and your ability to put up an argument. And I'm sorry if I put it in the wrong context. I did leave men out. I'm not saying that men don't get shit on too. If you're too short, or if you're too thin. I understand it exisits on that side as well.

Yet my perception comes from the side of a women, not of a man. You have more knowledge of that then I can ever have. I can only tell you of my own experiences regarding the way I am treated based on my gender.

But you will notice that you see no "MEN GET THE FUCK OUT" posts on totse.

Infact, I hold high respect for you, and your ability to put up an argument.

Thank you. :)

But you will notice that you see no "MEN GET THE FUCK OUT" posts on totse.

The reasons for that are numerous. For one thing, the male-to-female poster ratio is quite unbalanced, so of course you are going to see more insults against females (from males) than against males (from females)

Also, the reason that you in particular were being insulted in this thread has nothing to do with sexism, it is because of some of the things you were saying.

For example, you asked why your friends' boyfriend might not be sexually attracted to her, and then you completely refused to hear the most obvious truth, which is that maybe she just isn't physically attractive (in the general sense).

You need to expect some criticism if you respond like that.

Your friends' looks are 100% relevant to this thread.

You say...

Be in African Americans, Mexicans, homosexuals, anyone who doesn't fit into the American dream. It's like Hitler's fucking army has been reborn by most of &T.

...but I think you might be more accurate with...

You mock everyone.

This.

You might be more sensitive to "anyone who doesn't fit the amerikkkan dream," but really, it's more like "we mock anyone." While &t is not *chan, I suggest you dig up as many manifestos which toss around the phrase "true face of the internet," and read them. It might help you understand.

We have no conscience. Why? This is the fucking internet. It is not "srs bzns," and when nothing one does can have a tangible, physical effect on a human being, well... people tend to become sort of a walking primal id comprised of random memes. Negroes? They pick my oxycotton, for my opiate-smuggling chain. Wymmnz? They gb2kitchen. White pplz? We must killz them and seize this land for our ancestors. Str8 pplz? We must solve overpopulation by "radical armed direct action," read between the lines. Homo pplz? lol, tehy r teh fagz.

'n sure, everyone likes pedobear 'n /r/ caek, 'n necrophilia's just hardcore, 'n all, but rest assured, the minute it goes mainstream, it's getting the same as everything else.

Why? It's the internet. Why not?

Now... it may just so happen that the people who wrote "mebbe she wuz teh fat lol run away or man teh harpoonz" actually did have a personal extreme aversion to adipose tissue... or, maybe it's a natural response to "o hai i haz no information about pplz u never met can u tell me why the man-slut isn't putting out like the bitch gots a duty *cough, cough... nice to see feminism has brought bodily autonomy to all persons, lol*"...

Seriously. "Hi. There is no information. I then proceed to project my own weight issues on to the situation before asking you to tell me all about some random people's relationship." WTF did you expect to happen?

'n while we're at it... FOR FUCK'S SAKE, DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU THAT MAYBE IT'S NOT HIS FUCKING DUTY TO BE "in the mood" EVERY TIME HIS FUCKING MISTRESS DEMANDS HER FUCKING TRIBUTE?!? THAT MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, HE HAS VALUE AS A PERSON IN HIS OWN RIGHT, AND THAT HIS OWN FEELINGS HAVE LEGITIMACY, RATHER THAN JUST BEING AN EXTENTION OF THE NEEDS OF HIS FEMALE?!?! DID YOU EVER FUCKING THINK OF THAT?!?!?!?

Maybe, if you're critiquing the deconstruction of society, perhaps you should.

Perhaps this will let you know how the situation you are now decrying came to be - namely, you created it. Then again? Perhaps you'll tl;dr and type some sort of waahhfest which is really, deep down inside, about what you wanted to say no matter what happened, and just blame it on this thread. Either way, I don't know, and I don't care, because honestly, only one thing in this thread needs to be said. Namely...


moving 80 pound coolers of human organs.

fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap...

Now, have a lovely internets. If you're feeling philosophical, you might want to muse about how people are worth more than the sexual needs of the female that "owns" them, maybe... or, maybe about how you downright forced the answer you wanted and then bitched about it. Either way.

Thank you. :)



The reasons for that are numerous. For one thing, the male-to-female poster ratio is quite unbalanced, so of course you are going to see more insults against females (from males) than against males (from females)

Also, the reason that you in particular were being insulted in this thread has nothing to do with sexism, it is because of some of the things you were saying.

For example, you asked why your friends' boyfriend might not be sexually attracted to her, and then you completely refused to hear the most obvious truth, which is that maybe she just isn't physically attractive (in the general sense).

You need to expect some criticism if you respond like that.

Your friends' looks are 100% relevant to this thread.


Yes I agree that they are relevant, but they are in relation to how HE views her not how &T does. And yes, she is not the typical sort of pretty, I agree with all of you on that. And I do not agree that there is one set type for all men and no one views away from that. If they do it's a fetish. I was simply asking that why would a man stay with a woman if they are not sexually attracted to her. Her looks have not changed from the time that they started the relationship. Why begin a romantic relationship with someone you do not see in a sexual light? Would anyone really do it with out being desperate? Which I stated several pages back. The rest of this shit started because the comments that came from most people.

And I don't give a shit about being insulted. I say what I think and what others think of me really doesn't matter. The reason I respect you is because you give a good arguement. You're only responce wasn't "the op is fat".

And Joe. I'm not saying he is there at her beck and call. I'm saying it's been a long time. Like six months. And he says there is nothing wrong, that he wants to but he can't maintain an erection for her, but he can for porn. I was asking why. I don't think it's right for anyone to demand sexual gratification if a person is ill, but there is a point where it goes beyond normal. If you didn't get sex for half a year would you be happy? If your chick could fuck a dildo but not you? How would that make you feel? I'm not saying everything needs to be based on sex, it's not. But it is a lot. Everyone... well most people... have sexual desires. Maybe I'm just a slut and want sex too much, I don't know. But I can't believe that most of you are arguing that you would go without sex for 6 months and be perfectly fine with it.

And if the people are just typing what they think is cool and to fit in, because it's the internet and they won't get their ass kicked then THEY are the fucking one's with the problem. Not me. Everything I say here I'll say to anyone's face.

Why begin a romantic relationship with someone you do not see in a sexual light?

Maybe he was desperate. Maybe he's being idealistic in thinking that he can come around to finding her physically attractive.

I don't know. There's really no easy solution to this.

And none of us will ever know exactly how he feels about all this.

Maybe he was desperate. Maybe he's being idealistic in thinking that he can come around to finding her physically attractive.

I don't know. There's really no easy solution to this.

And none of us will ever know exactly how he feels about all this.

True, perhaps I just don't want to go back and tell her what I already know. She is a good person, with a great heart, and they seemed so perfect for each other. I want her to be happy.

Thanks to all the arguements, I love being able to bullshit with you guys.

Gadzooks much love my internet friend.

Gadzooks much love my internet friend.

<3 :);)

If you didn't get sex for half a year would you be happy? If your chick could fuck a dildo but not you? How would that make you feel? But I can't believe that most of you are arguing that you would go without sex for 6 months and be perfectly fine with it.

Any length of time is far, far shorter than "forever" and far, far less utterly damning than "never." How would I feel if I were forced to "endure" the occasional six-month pause between blissful, joyous erotic transports which no one would try to kill me for? To just feel someone's warm skin melt into my chest as we drift off to sleep? To wake up and have someone I care about the first thing I see in the morning?

Like counting my fucking blessings, dude.

And if the people are just typing what they think is cool and to fit in, because it's the internet and they won't get their ass kicked then THEY are the fucking one's with the problem. Not me. Everything I say here I'll say to anyone's face.

Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of "because typed words can't kick anyone else's ass, and because they don't care about fitting in," but hey, that works...

And he says there is nothing wrong, that he wants to but he can't maintain an erection for her, but he can for porn. I was asking why.

Well, I've already suggested orientational incompatability. Looking at the pic you posted, the lady in question looks less "fat" (as you suggested) so much as she looks... like a man, to be frank.

If one was heterosexual, having the intruding thought that you were kissing a man could in fact put a damper on things. If that's what drew him to her in the first place, and he's just trying to find himself, I'm sure that tits and a vag could put a damper on things. 'n if his pr0n is all "flat-chested, shaved "eighteen" year olds," well... he could be trying to find himself, and the tits could be putting a damper on things. As to "why wouldn't he leave her," well... never discount geniuine affection. A few people on the internet might reduce everything down to sexploitation for fun, but really, human interrelations are a lot more multidimensional than a one-line comment on a messageboard would suggest.

So, yeah. My guess is "orientational incompatability." 'n I've made some of my best friends that way. Alternately? Who knows, maybe it's just a little performance anxiety, or even a thousand other things. Bloodflow can be pretty complex, and masturbation doesn't exactly require the purest of erections either.

Its alright there missy, no need to get worked up. Just get yourself a glass of wine and calm down. Let your head rest a bit, its had a tough day.



I'm not saying I'm perfect. I'm far fucking from it. But if someone wants to live an unhealthy life style, be it weight, drug addiction, drinking, random sex partners, whatever. It is thier own shit, not mine. I do not mock them for their actions, but I do think they should stand up and accept the repercussions.


You...you...mean like, men not wanting to have sex with them? Oh lawdy.



Example: I smoke, and I know one day it's going to bite me in the ass. I know it's unhealthy, but do I need every goddamn person on the street stopping me and telling me. Nope, not in the slightest. I know what I'm doing and how it will affect me in the future. It is a risk I am willing to take.

And most obese people are not lazy cows. Sure, some of them are. But there are a lot of skinny people out there that are just as lazy. You all seem to fit them into stereotypes. And I said that my words came out wrong, I do not think most skinny people are anorexic, seeing as in high school I heard the never ending question "Do you throw up after you eat". But I know that things are based entirely on your looks, before people judge you. I'm not speaking of sexual appeal I'm speaking about people on the street.



Well, now, what have we here? Latent self-esteem issues from high school? Oh, and backlash against stereotypes while being guilty of it yourself! We all fit fat people into stereotypes? I resent that!.



Example # 2: My mother had a stroke, a horrible stroke and the doctor's gave her steroids. She gained weight rapidly, while having to relearn her ABC's and how to do simple math. One day at the store some one mooed at her. Now, my mother with a fucking medical condition, who had been average weight her whole life until something that was out of her hands, does not deserve to be mooed at. She eats right, works out, but because of circumstances she gained the weight. Who the fuck are you, or any little shit head on the street to take everything she had to battle to live, and turn it into a joke. Just to impress your high school fucking buddies. Is that right?



I find it highly improbable that your friend had a stroke and can't do simple math, much less learn how to watch her weight. As such, this example is completely useless. And I suggest toning down the rage a tad. While righteous anger has its place, this kind is misplaced. Don't take out your anger at the shitheads in your highschool on us.




You all seem to think you're so goddamn enlightened yet you still cling to the thoughts that will keep you chained down. If you met a woman/man who could be you're best friend. She/He would always be there for you, always help you out and she/he was obese. Would you turn her/his friendship away because of the mocking comments made by your peers?



..........And straight out of left field, a accusatory hypothetical scenario about peer pressure! Excuse me while I scold myself for the hypothetical abandoning of my fat friend.



And you can fucking mock my thoughts on double standards all you want. But it's true and fairly simple to see. If a women fucks ten guys she's a whore, a man does it he's a player. If a man gains weight it's a beer belly, if a women does she's let herself go. It's okay for men to go bald when it is an obvious fact of aging for some people, when the same effects of aging on a women is taboo.



Lets put on our thinking caps for a moment. If a women fucks 10 guys she's a slut, because its damn easy for women to get laid. If you're a women with the right number of chromosomes and aren't 300lbs over weight, you can get laid whenever you want. A man cannot do that. And ask any woman if bald beer-bellied men are attractive. No, no they are not.



And women are part of it. I'm not saying they're not. All the shit that women worked for are being turned around by these girls who dance in a fucking 50 cent video with their tits hanging out. They don't have the logic to think about what they are going to do when the sun has ruined their skin, and their tits sag to their knees. They are the one's who are turning women back into sex things, willing to dance in large groups around a man, like a fucking harem.



Ahh, well, thats a choice isn't it? They should stand up and accept the repercussions.



Example # 3 I am a manager for a shipping company. I work my ass of with calls at four am, moving 80 pound coolers of human organs. One night this asshole comes up to one of my drivers, who I'm the boss of, and tries to get him to sign for it. I reach for it and he rips it out of my hand. I explain to him that the manager has to sign for all inbound organs. And he just stares at my like he doesn't understand English. His answer, well who would of thought they would let women manage by themselves.



I'm sorry that put a sinker on your day. Actually I'm not, thats fucking hilarious. But stupid people exist everywhere (hint: even the internet!).


And it's not just the women, the obese. You mock everyone. Be in African Americans, Mexicans, homosexuals, anyone who doesn't fit into the American dream. It's like Hitler's fucking army has been reborn by most of &T.


You're right. I'm going straight to totse right now and give it a stern talking to. It should be ashamed of itself. This kind of prejudice has no place on the internet.

Its alright there missy, no need to get worked up. Just get yourself a glass of wine and calm down. Let your head rest a bit, its had a tough day.


You...you...mean like, men not wanting to have sex with them? Oh lawdy.



Well, now, what have we here? Latent self-esteem issues from high school? Oh, and backlash against stereotypes while being guilty of it yourself! We all fit fat people into stereotypes? I resent that!.



I find it highly improbable that your friend had a stroke and can't do simple math, much less learn how to watch her weight. As such, this example is completely useless. And I suggest toning down the rage a tad. While righteous anger has its place, this kind is misplaced. Don't take out your anger at the shitheads in your highschool on us.



..........And straight out of left field, a accusatory hypothetical scenario about peer pressure! Excuse me while I scold myself for the hypothetical abandoning of my fat friend.



Lets put on our thinking caps for a moment. If a women fucks 10 guys she's a slut, because its damn easy for women to get laid. If you're a women with the right number of chromosomes and aren't 300lbs over weight, you can get laid whenever you want. A man cannot do that. And ask any woman if bald beer-bellied men are attractive. No, no they are not.



Ahh, well, thats a choice isn't it? They should stand up and accept the repercussions.



I'm sorry that put a sinker on your day. Actually I'm not, thats fucking hilarious. But stupid people exist everywhere (hint: even the internet!).




You're right. I'm going straight to totse right now and give it a stern talking to. It should be ashamed of itself. This kind of prejudice has no place on the internet.

Haven't you got Iraqi babies you need to be shooting?

Haven't you got Iraqi babies you need to be shooting?

I've filled my quotas.

We have no conscience. Why? This is the fucking internet. It is not "srs bzns," and when nothing one does can have a tangible, physical effect on a human being, well... people tend to become sort of a walking primal id comprised of random memes.
That's the problem; it can indeed have a tangible, physical effect on another human being, but people tend not to realize. Or rather, they do, but it doesn't seem as serious.

People are scum.

I'm also depressed that I offered possibly the only positive comment/solution in this entire thread and it was ignored. I think post #57 explains that, really.

Kill that bastard...

That's the problem; it can indeed have a tangible, physical effect on another human being, but people tend not to realize.

Well... that's actually debatable. One person might read and laugh with joy, and another might become so upset that they end up destroying themselves.

Perhaps it might better be said that it is an excuse people use to transfer the blame of them affecting their own selves.

Conversely, periodically selecting one's answer from such charming gems as "rape is the answer, post pics" or "setting fire to everything will solve one's problems" can be an immensely liberating and healing experience. We tend to spend an inacceptable amount of our lives under immense pressure to care about an awful lot of shit that doesn't matter, as well as the small amount of shit that does... people walking up to us and violently demanding that we act the emotion of outrage that there are negroes or mexicans moving into "our" neighborhood, or nonheterosexual people on the internet, or that some bumfuckistan does not 'properly' teach its children of the drastic superiority of the european white man... often, demanding this under explicit threat. It can be immensely healing to just turn one's "give a fuck" off when it's not needed.

So... there really can be two sides to this.

People are scum.

Yeah, basically. I've had to learn to manage the depressing depths of this with efficiency, possibly to a degree beyond what most people will ever go through in their lives. I'm not entirely without compassion in my being, but eventually, people have their own obligation to learn to cease to give a fuck about other life forms on this earth when said life forms question their own validity, and proceed to hunt their assailant with sadistic glee. Because, well, it's what survives.

'n sadly, every cry towards human's decency towards human has basically sustained itself on the most grotesque and detrimental of hypocracy - so I no longer really trust the mantle of such claims - the people who make them are merely one more threat I'll have to survive.

I'm also depressed that I offered possibly the only positive comment/solution in this entire thread and it was ignored.

Well, I've tried to be honest, though I can't guarantee positive. Just honest...

...but, yeah, quite possibly.

I think post #57 explains that, really.

Humans are like that. If you want an even better example, check dissed's "I'm thinking of calling my online boyfriend" thread. Humans generally put the imaginary world in their head before reality.

Charming lot, aren't they, these humans?

I like the fact that I'm guaranteed a thoughtful, interesting response from you, Joe. 99% of my posts are ignored for some reason and it gets a little irritating... if I bother to care. :D

Well... that's actually debatable. One person might read and laugh with joy, and another might become so upset that they end up destroying themselves.

Perhaps it might better be said that it is an excuse people use to transfer the blame of them affecting their own selves.
That's certainly true in some cases, but you have to remember that not everyone can summon the required attitude of "I don't care what these anonymous Internet fuckwads say." Even fewer people can disregard what others say even most of the time, and I can't think of any who are completely immune to comments; sticks and stones and all that, but the fact is that everyone (or near enough as not to matter) has sensitive subjects and times.

People, especially on sites like Totse or the chans, count on this; some comments, like "murder/suicide" are posted more out of a general attitude than any malice, but a lot of posts are designed with the hope that the recipient will care and react with dismay. And that is what I object to.

Conversely, periodically selecting one's answer from such charming gems as "rape is the answer, post pics" or "setting fire to everything will solve one's problems" can be an immensely liberating and healing experience. We tend to spend an inacceptable amount of our lives under immense pressure to care about an awful lot of shit that doesn't matter, as well as the small amount of shit that does... people walking up to us and violently demanding that we act the emotion of outrage that there are negroes or mexicans moving into "our" neighborhood, or nonheterosexual people on the internet, or that some bumfuckistan does not 'properly' teach its children of the drastic superiority of the european white man... often, demanding this under explicit threat. It can be immensely healing to just turn one's "give a fuck" off when it's not needed.

So... there really can be two sides to this.
Oh yes, that's one of the main reasons I post on Totse, in fact. I love the general irreverence here. I generally regard people who find meaning in cartoons as slightly suspicious, but there was a South Park episode that reminds me a lot of Totse: Stan is acting morose and depressed over some non-issue, and everyone respectfully bows their heads and looks very sad, then Cartman says "what a fucking pussy, dude."

Sometimes that's just what I/people/the world need. :p

So... I appreciate the unpretentious, free attitude; I don't appreciate malice.

Yeah, basically. I've had to learn to manage the depressing depths of this with efficiency, possibly to a degree beyond what most people will ever go through in their lives. I'm not entirely without compassion in my being, but eventually, people have their own obligation to learn to cease to give a fuck about other life forms on this earth when said life forms question their own validity, and proceed to hunt their assailant with sadistic glee. Because, well, it's what survives.
I believe we have the biggest obligation to ourselves first of all, but close behind that is the obligation to others. Compassion and kindness are the most important virtues I can think of...

...but maybe I'm just optimistic. I certainly wouldn't object to striking back at someone who has struck at you.

'n sadly, every cry towards human's decency towards human has basically sustained itself on the most grotesque and detrimental of hypocracy - so I no longer really trust the mantle of such claims - the people who make them are merely one more threat I'll have to survive.
Very sadly very true. I can be cruel, I know, despite the fact that I hate it in others. But I try to be better, and every day I get a little closer to my goal... :)

The hypocrisy of those espousing decency doesn't mean the sentiment itself isn't worth espousing!

Well, I've tried to be honest, though I can't guarantee positive. Just honest...

...but, yeah, quite possibly.
I'm not blaming you, not at all! I just found it odd that no one else offered what seemed to me an obvious explanation (he's being honest, he really can't get it up). I don't know how likely it is, but I've seen it tendered in many other threads and it's happened to me too.

You're probably right, unfortunately, but I wanted to offer an alternate possibility. As always, no good deed goes unpunished... :o

/self pity :p


Humans are like that. If you want an even better example, check dissed's "I'm thinking of calling my online boyfriend" thread. Humans generally put the imaginary world in their head before reality.

Charming lot, aren't they, these humans?
I've been avoiding that thread, but I'll give it a read... just out of morbid fascination. :p

So... there really can be two sides to this.

Totse, like a coin, has two sides...and is also quite shiny.

To be honest, I think it's probably just bad timing. He's in his forties he probably only wants sex like twice a week. If she was frisky one night and he had jerked it the day before he probably wouldn't get it up. And when he feels the urges and she aint around he rubs one out. And of course after the first time he went limp the bitch probably started trying to fuck him as much as possible, because she got so worked up about the fact that he went limp. Worrying about something makes it worse.

You also assume that he was jacking to the porn but could just be enjoying it ascetically. Like how some 90 year old dust bag will still ogle girls at the Beach even though hes not had wood in ten years. If your intolerant to &t's lack of tolerance, then get your cracker bitch ass back into the kitchen and leave the thinking to men.

If we left the thinking to you the world would be devoid of any compassion. For people who seem to spend so much time on the internet, most of you are very small minded. And that is why you're never really going to get anywhere. What are you going to do when you get into the real world and your boss is a black guy with a boy friend? Are you going to get in his face and call him a nigger? I hope most of you grow up before you try to contribute anything to society.

And being gay, I know what tolerance is. And I rarley get it here. Perhaps I stay because I feel that I can bring something valid to &T. And out of four years I've yet to be banned or get any sort of warning, so obviously I can follow simple rules unlike most of you. (Jack if you ban me now I will find you :) .)

I'm done arguing my point with you, it's pointless and all it get's me is having to explain something I've explained 10 times already because you can't read the last few pages. You take the circumstances and ignore all the information laid out after words because it doesn't fit into the image you want to create with your post. One thing you'll have to learn, is when you try to keep the world in a tiny little box, and shove all the shit you don't want out, then one day it will bite you in the ass. I hope it's just a small one, and nothing too bad. Because as much as I bitch about you guys you are kind of amusing, plus you put up a good debate which you can't find any where else on the internet.

I'm not responding to any more posts, so bitch away if you want to each other. All I'm going to say is that hopefully you can learn to expand your minds a little. There are plenty of things out there that are worth it.

Little as in very skinny, no tits, no hips, no ass.


That is really disturbing. Are you sure the girls on that site were 18?

Totse, like a coin, has two sides...and is also quite shiny.

...and, sadly, they're both illegal to chuck off an overpass into oncoming traffic.

And being gay, I know what tolerance is. And I rarley get it here.

Funny. As a pedophile ("as an atheist, feminist pedophile," lol - love that quote), I've found &t the sort of place where one can be judged solely on scientific accumen and, ironically, the content of one's character and the sensitivity of one's heart. Sure, there's always a few bad apples anywhere... but generally speaking, the combination of free speech, the absentee portion of absentee dictatorship, and large amounts of people not giving a fuck about whether something is church-approved has done wonders for being taken as the floating, disembodied consciousness streamed through ascii text that we all are deep down inside...

...then again, others may have different experiences.

99% of my posts are ignored for some reason and it gets a little irritating...

Heh. That's the nature of the internet - if it doesn't start enough of a flamefest, it gets drowned out in the sea of traffic.

That's certainly true in some cases, but you have to remember that not everyone can summon the required attitude of "I don't care what these anonymous Internet fuckwads say." Even fewer people can disregard what others say even most of the time, and I can't think of any who are completely immune to comments; sticks and stones and all that, but the fact is that everyone (or near enough as not to matter) has sensitive subjects and times.

I'll agree that not everyone does seem to realize that only they can ascribe any meaning to collections of sounds, syllables or text, translate them, and then assign a value by which to hold the meaningfulness of the assertion they translated...

...but on the other hand, I can pretty much guarantee, with the nature of the world, that their entire existance will be a world of pain until they learn that skill, and that it's probably best that they learn it in a forum where it's not going to lead to knife-fights, or even the inability to just change one's username and lead a new life.

So, there's the "training ground" argument, well bolstered by the fact that these people will face cruel words off the internet, no matter how people talk to them on the internet. The stressor will surely be there - isn't it kinder to give them a training arena where they can find positive solutions on their own?

Devil's advocate, perhaps, but with some questions behind it...

I believe we have the biggest obligation to ourselves first of all, but close behind that is the obligation to others. Compassion and kindness are the most important virtues I can think of...

But... can you carry that while caring what people think of you, or say to you?

If you object to the mistreatment of persons on the basis of their ethnicity... sooner or later, someone is going to attack you for it. Chances are, they are going to be very good at attacking people.

If you object to the mistreatment of persons on the basis of their religion... sooner or later, someone is going to attack you for it. Chances are, they are going to be very good at attacking people.

If you object to human lives being wasted in the drug war, or the consignment of a sizeable percentage of the population to concentration and reeducation centers on the basis of the status of their birth, or the mass-murder of hundreds of thousands of Iraqui civilians in an action which has nothing to do with national defense, or any other injustice... you will risk being beaten, imprisoned, murdered, harassed, vandalized, and countered by some of the best damned counterinsurgency provocateurs that money can buy.

If you want to value or exercise compassion, you are going to have to fight. Alot. You will swiftly discover that willingness to enter combat is required in this society to survive thinking that way.

Are you that dedicated? If you are, can you balance the debasement of your soul in cultivating the heart and mind of a killer without compromising the reasons which led you to this conflict in the first place?

I've been avoiding that thread, but I'll give it a read... just out of morbid fascination.

hehehe. Enjoy the "deep end" of 'wishful thinking.'

I'll agree that not everyone does seem to realize that only they can ascribe any meaning to collections of sounds, syllables or text, translate them, and then assign a value by which to hold the meaningfulness of the assertion they translated...

...but on the other hand, I can pretty much guarantee, with the nature of the world, that their entire existance will be a world of pain until they learn that skill, and that it's probably best that they learn it in a forum where it's not going to lead to knife-fights, or even the inability to just change one's username and lead a new life.

So, there's the "training ground" argument, well bolstered by the fact that these people will face cruel words off the internet, no matter how people talk to them on the internet. The stressor will surely be there - isn't it kinder to give them a training arena where they can find positive solutions on their own?

Devil's advocate, perhaps, but with some questions behind it...
That might be a side benefit, but it doesn't excuse cruelty. It's certainly not the motivation behind the malicious posts, at least. I have personally learned little or nothing from being exposed to maliciousness, but I agree it can teach; it's just not the best teacher.

But... can you carry that while caring what people think of you, or say to you?

If you object to the mistreatment of persons on the basis of their ethnicity... sooner or later, someone is going to attack you for it. Chances are, they are going to be very good at attacking people.

If you object to the mistreatment of persons on the basis of their religion... sooner or later, someone is going to attack you for it. Chances are, they are going to be very good at attacking people.

If you object to human lives being wasted in the drug war, or the consignment of a sizeable percentage of the population to concentration and reeducation centers on the basis of the status of their birth, or the mass-murder of hundreds of thousands of Iraqui civilians in an action which has nothing to do with national defense, or any other injustice... you will risk being beaten, imprisoned, murdered, harassed, vandalized, and countered by some of the best damned counterinsurgency provocateurs that money can buy.

If you want to value or exercise compassion, you are going to have to fight. Alot. You will swiftly discover that willingness to enter combat is required in this society to survive thinking that way.

Are you that dedicated? If you are, can you balance the debasement of your soul in cultivating the heart and mind of a killer without compromising the reasons which led you to this conflict in the first place?
I think that no matter what values you espouse, you will eventually be attacked for them. As for retaining compassion when viciously attacked (and when attacking back)... you only have to remain cognizant of the fact that not everyone can be painted with the same brush, and the existence of evil people doesn't mean good ones don't exist as well. Moreover - by defending yourself, you're only doing what is right, as surely as when you give compassion to those who deserve it.