Sometimes its uncanny how &T can mirror real life. We've had quite a few 'how do I get over her, does the pain ever fade?' threads recently. Most from H4t3 it seems.

Anyways

I was just walking through town with Mrs Ketch on my arm. A man and woman passed us. She was maybe 60+ and on crutches, he was 30+. Obviously mother and son.

Took me a second to recognise them. The mother and younger brother of HER.

I have written about HER, aka 'SCOOBI' here many times. My first non imaginary girlfriend. Who I lost through my own stupidity. The girl who not only introduced me to sex and anal sex(ie me taking her in the arse) but all kinds of other fun stuff and more importantly Earl Grey and Lapsang Souchong.

After she left home (while she and I were still together) her brother and mother moved away as well. I can only assume they came back here for the day for some reason.

Last time i saw her brother he was maybe 12 and used to bring us aprés bonk cups tea. Heard he went into Aminmatronics Her Mum was always a martyr to various conditions so it doesn't surprise me she was on crutches.

They didn't recognize me and we just passed silently. But I recognised them and of course memories flooded back.

But the pain.

The ache.

Hell yeah even longing.

More than 20 years ago and its still there. Maybe its just me...soft sensitive fluffy bunny that i am. But I loved her and it huuuuuurts.

Bad.

ps.last I heard she's married with kids of her own.

And you'll probably never see her again.

Yeah,that must suck.

Shit sucks...bad.

Fortunatley, I've never loved someone so much it hurt, with the exception of my dead best friend...but he's a completley different story.

I can still picture the first girl I ever truly loved and on some especially low days it still hurts that she isn't in my life, but hey, without harsh lessons like that what would life be like?

It might not be 20 years ago, but 6 or so years on I can't see it stinging any less in a decade.

I used to think the whole 'first love' thing was a cliche, but having been there and moved on it really is true that something about that person always stays with you.

Lapsang Souchong smells like a burnt goat. I can't imagine it tastes like that but I've never really gotten over the smell long enough to taste it.

When you love someone that much it never really goes away. You'll always have a residual ghost of the original feeling.

I wish I could relate but all I have are ex-girlfriends who disappoint me and make me wonder what the hell I was thinking.

So that's what you get for opening up and connecting with someone emotionally. Heartache. Sounds good. Can't wait.

Shit man, it's either this, or be together 'till one of you dies.
Life is so cruel.. :( but you must enjoy the time you spend together, every moment of it, and cherish that time forever in memory. We all want what we can't have, so better pick the next best option and just remember the good times.

I still feel that these days, it's just one of those..."what if" moments, i'm still clinging to this girl and she confuses the hell outta me, as do i with her i think...

*Breaks everything in the room and punches a hole in the wall*

No, dude, it's fine. The pain totally goes away. I'm fine. Don't worry about it.

Let me get this straight (no pun intended),

you are either

A bi sexual

B. bi curious

or

C. Straight as an aransas road.