I'm teaching Youngest (17) to drive. Unlike most of Euro-Land, here in the UK a Dad is still allowed to do that.

Sooo

Yesterday He has a row, on the phone, with his girlfriend because she now feels neglected as he spends an hour or so a day learning to drive.

Big row.

Her parting shot "I don't know why you'd want to spend all your time learning to drive when you don't yet have a driving licence".

* sound of jaws hitting floor*

*Jack and Son Of Jack Dumbfounded*

(he had his cell on loudspeaker thats how I know what was said).

---------------------------------------------------

Youngest went into town today and bought a new lampshade for the ceiling light in his bedroom.

He wants everything to be nice in there now cos he and his girlfriend spend a lot of time in there/in bed.

This the conversation with me when he got home:

Him: "What do you think of this ,Dad?" *shows me newly purchased lampshade*

Me: "You've fucked up big time."

Him: ?????

Me: "Son, listen to your Old Dad. What you should have done is this: Simply hand her a wad of cash and ask her to buy you a new lampshade. DO NOT offer to do it together or go with her cos she'll drive you up the bloody wall. You LIKE whatever she returns with. I know I done brought you up to tell truth, boy but in this instance, god will forgive you."

Him:"Right, I get it. If she buys it then she can't grizzle about it. Clever"

Me:"Ya think??! Trust me. Even if she chose it and bought it , she'll still lie there tonight and say something like "you know maybe the green wasn't the right colour... If you're really lucky she'll leave it at that. But usually you'll find out that it was somehow your fault for not telling her that green, or whatever fucking colour it is, clashes with her nail varnish. You'll always be in the wrong, live with it.

But at least this way there's a chance you might hear the end of it. If you bought it off your own bat then she'll go on until you either rip it off the ceiling or strangle her...or both"

Just a word to the wise.

Learn now, oh young Padawans. Save yourself some heart ache and a murder charge down the line.

The secret is to find a woman who is very logical.

:)

Jack, for someone who's as old as you, you sure lack basic knowledge on dealing with women. You're exhibiting too many male stereotypes, one of which is writing about "female logic" on the Internet. And now you're passing down bad advice to your own son.

I have noticed that most men when dealing with "female logic" act like their masculinity is being judge by a jury of super masculine males.

The secret is to find a woman who is very logical.

:)

Dichotomy much?

Learn now, oh young Padawans. Save yourself some heart ache and a murder charge down the line.

Did you actually just write that?

Her parting shot "I don't know why you'd want to spend all your time learning to drive when you don't yet have a driving licence".


*Now begins to understand why most women drive so well*

The secret is to find a woman who is very logical.

:)

IMPOSSIBLE!!!!

IMPOSSIBLE!!!!

No, improbable.

I've met one. The only illogical thing I've ever seen her do is stick with an unemployed, shallowly charming stoner for three years.

The stoner's me though, so I don't bitch too much.

I can be logical with most things. It just doesn't seem to work with guy issues. If you're aware of that, it seems to work well for the guy.

Hehehehehe.

The day your boy comes home and says "Dad...I don't fucking understand women" do him a favour and say "And you never will. Well done for realising that. Have a beer mate!"

Ah to be a kid again...I'd do so many things differently with the knowledge I have now!

Thats not bad advice, hes nipping that shit in the butt now with his son before its too late and hes out of a couple thousand dollars. Idk but I'd be thinking to myself why the fuck do I need to purchase a new lampshade? If it was that big of a deal i wouldve told her to buy one if it bothers her that much. Plus shes already pressing at 17 yrs old...the ol spend time with me more cause you have nothing more important in your life to do. Jakk id watch you wallet cause there might be a couple $$$ missing then a new necklace or ring on that girls finger.

Ive watched this shit happen before with a bad ending, to a good friend...the dude never learned how to stand up and control his money in the first place, a girl came along, 5 years later, this kid is out of about 15g's. Lets talk about logic and being a man when you dropped a 5figure sum on someone and that money is gone, no where to be seen, shit to show for it. Oh thats alright ahey? The love was worth the money....

I know I done brought you up to tell truth, boy

I knew you were from inbred, racist, hickville, but I didn't realise it was Alabama.

Dichotomy much?

Math majors or doctors

Math majors or doctors

Ya think?

Date one and get back to me.

Women do my head in.

They're so petty as well as illogical. Like they'll go in a mood for the stupidest of things which isn't even a problem.

Ya think?

Date one and get back to me.

I'm currently "with" a med student, and i've never had to deal with any of the bullshit most of you go through.

Before her I was with a girl in math, who also didn't give me any of the bullshit.

I've told both of them before we started getting serious, that if you ever have anything to say, say it.

We're both quite open about things.

Me: "Son, listen to your Old Dad. What you should have done is this: Simply hand her a wad of cash and ask her to buy you a new lampshade. DO NOT offer to do it together or go with her cos she'll drive you up the bloody wall. You LIKE whatever she returns with. I know I done brought you up to tell truth, boy but in this instance, god will forgive you."

Him:"Right, I get it. If she buys it then she can't grizzle about it. Clever"

Me:"Ya think??! Trust me. Even if she chose it and bought it , she'll still lie there tonight and say something like "you know maybe the green wasn't the right colour... If you're really lucky she'll leave it at that. But usually you'll find out that it was somehow your fault for not telling her that green, or whatever fucking colour it is, clashes with her nail varnish. You'll always be in the wrong, live with it.

But at least this way there's a chance you might hear the end of it. If you bought it off your own bat then she'll go on until you either rip it off the ceiling or strangle her...or both"


:O

So wait you're telling me because I have a vagina I can manipulate my fiance into buying certain things??! You mean I've been allowed to be the biggest bitch I can be and say whatever dumb shit I want to and I haven't been taking advantage of that this whole time? You mean I've been listening to his opinions and doing stuff HE likes and being grateful for whatever he buys me when I don't even have to????? I feel fucking robbed/violated. I need to lay down :(

I'm currently "with" a med student, and i've never had to deal with any of the bullshit most of you go through.

Before her I was with a girl in math, who also didn't give me any of the bullshit.

I've told both of them before we started getting serious, that if you ever have anything to say, say it.

We're both quite open about things.

fucking sweet, I'm off to universtiy!

fucking sweet, I'm off to universtiy!

stay away from humanities/social science majors.

They tend to be emotional as fuck.

Jack, if your women treat you like that, I think you're doing something wrong.

stay away from humanities/social science majors.

They tend to be emotional as fuck.

Psychology majors can beat even them. It's almost funny, almost.

Excellent. That's right,ketchy, judge all women based on the idiots your sons chose!
:D

The girls they date may be idiots, but who're the real idiots if your sons chose to continue seeing these mad illogical birds?

Psychology majors can beat even them. It's almost funny, almost.

They will over analyze everything you do, well the hardcore ones anyways.

These are good generalisations though. While some women appear normal and rational 99% of the time, we can all be idiots especially with guys. And I'm going to guess most guys on here will end up with atleast one psycho bitch.

Her parting shot "I don't know why you'd want to spend all your time learning to drive when you don't yet have a driving licence".

What the fuck? That's the reason he's learning, to get a license. Dumb bitch.

LOGIC LOGIC LOGIC LOGIC LOGIC