My girlfriend is in the National Guard, and she's currently in AIT (Advanced Individual Training). She'll be back at the end of this month.

Yesterday she called me, and we had a three hour long phone conversation. She told me she's decided that she wants to go on Active Duty (which is getting stationed at some random state, or possibly other country) and stay with the army. This would mean 18 more years of being in the army.

She said she for sure wants to do it, and I told her that's fine if it's really what she wants. But then we started talking about what would happen between us, and it basically boiled down to "It just wouldn't work"

I'm so depressed about this right now. Seemingly she isn't as upset about it. Maybe because she's getting to move on with the decision she wants. And I'm left not knowing what to think or do. I'll still be seeing her when she comes how at the end of this month, though...

She also went on to say that I'm closer to her than anyone else she knows, and that she doesn't know what she'd do without me in her life; that she still loves me and I'm her best friend.

She said she may come home and realize that Active Duty is/was a stupid decision, and that we could still be together if that happens. But I'm not seeing that as being very likely.

I dunno. This is really, really upsetting. Help me out, guys.

Why can't you just go with her?

We're both 19, almost 20. Meaning, I'm not financially capable of following her around.

And even if I managed to be able to, I wouldn't get to finish college (unless I found a college near her station). What would I do about a job?

I could marry her and she'd be making almost twice the money, but then what would my part be? I don't want to mooch off of her and have no life of my own.

I'm not 100% sure what all my options are right now, but I don't want things to end. Not this way. Didn't want them to end ever..

Good point. Give up the next twenty years of his life, in the prime of his life, which will affect the rest of his life after that too, for a girl he's going with now, for a militia he might not support.

OP: Not to take away from your experience by this reply, as it sounds pretty shitty. If she's going to make a decision like this, you're probably better off without being with her.

Why the fuck would you join the National Guard at this time? You might as well join the Marines/Army and get better training, weapons, and pay.

I don't get it.

How could she want to do this for 18 more years? I want to support her decision, but it will completely ruin our relationship. It seems like she's not even greatly affected by that. Like she's okay with us breaking up.

I'm the one feeling like shit and depressed. She's decided what she wants to do with her life, and she's fine with it. With it meaning that she'll be losing me.

Maybe not fine, but she shows no signs of being very emotional about it when we talk on the phone.

"Best friend"? She's fucking someone else.

lol'd.

I really don't think she is...

Ugh, if she were, that'd be the final nail in the coffin. Things would make more sense.

She'll be fucking a bunch of guys while you cry yourself to sleep.
Have fun