so i just stole a bottle of presidente brandy solera and it has something i have never seen on a bottle of liqour. some plastic apparatus that i cannot for the life of me get off. i really need to get drunk right now because tomorrow i go to rehab, has anyone ever dealt with this?

it's obviously doing the job it was made for then!!!


hope inpatient isn't too boring ;)

you sir are not helping......goddamit i just want to get drunk one last time.......please someone help.

just use a knife and cut the shit off or something.

kids shouldn't be drinking alcohol anyway. So no. we are not giving some kidiot advice on to open a bottle of liquor.

im not a kid im 19 and very burnt.........im not the smartest peanut in the turd..........and im ready to commit to sobriety i just want to go out with a bang one last time. there is a ball in the middle of this plastic thing, i have never seen anything like this.

describe it more man, then maybe someone can help you. is it outside of the bottle? why can't you just fuck it up with a knife or something??

smash the bottle in a large container then pour it through a plastic or metal screen then a coffee filter

So that would make it adult-proof liquor then. Cumon man, it can't be that hard, just think of something. Maybe theirs instructions on the bottle or something. Did you try stabbing or pressing on it?

its a plastic thing that makes the sound of a cough syrup bottle when you twist it...... so i press down and twist it...........nothing.........i try fucking it up with a knife...........nothing..........this thing is not coming off..........i cant smash it because it is my parents bottle and i plan on watering it down and putting back in its rightous place. no one has ever drank presidente brandy?

push the ball down to drink. It should fall into a little area which allows the alchohol to flow around it.

If you have what im thinking of.

alright a little alcahol is coming out now.......enough to get drunk........i thank you sir...........drunken post are yet to come. .........i owe my life to you totse.

this man is a martyr.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!



What a retard.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!



What a retard.

QFMFT

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!



What a retard.

Couldent have said it any better myself!

what are you going to rehab for?

To say how stupid he is, he probably going to rehab for abusing paracetmol.

or huffing his own shit AKA jenkem

i dont want to fall into sterotypes, but im goin to rehab for crack. It was my 2nd time to get caught with some rocks and the judge said either a year in rehab, or 6 months in prison. I chose the year in rehab, because im honestly afraid of prison.

Couldent have said it any better myself!

hey retard you got some spelling mistakes.

Alpha Key

Alpha Key

this.

Dude don't worry those things confused me at first when I first got those as a gift from my cousins in Colombia. Just push the ball and get drunk.

And I feel for you. If you have any sense you will get so drunk and stuff as many drugs up your ass as possible because one year in rehab is GOING TO KILL!

Seriously, expand your asshole and start cramming them mate. Pills, crack, baggies, whatever! DXM? It gets you fucked up, do it!

What the hell, it reminds me of the drinking mechanism used in hamster cages. If a hamster can figure it out, but you can't, huffing raid is the only choice left.

Yea, shove them drugz up your ass. I reccomend the goatse technique, but start out with only a couple fingers at first. Then eventually you'll be able to use both your hands. Then you can fit bongs and other shit like that in their.

Maybe you'll get lucky enough to get some xyrem or kpins in rehab. Assuming it's for alcohol.

Oh god.... lol.


Child proofing device > Your problem solving skills/brain.

hey retard you got some spelling mistakes.

Whats a few spelling mistakes to you eh? I wasent making fun of your spelling I was making fun of your inability to open a bottle of booze.

well i hope it goes by fast as it can!!

don't test + and go to jail, that would be dumb

this is some sad shit

or huffing his own shit AKA jenkem

Like we don't already know what jenkem is?

This thread was good for a laugh.

Your self-sufficiency skills are terrible.

oh this is some sad shit...........i just banged a blonde head for 20 dollers worth of crack and your talking shit to me about a gay ass bottle..........totse equals= 95% virgin.................seriously rape your sister or something.......you gotta get this vage..........im telling you its better than drugs.

i guess thats why i have never lasted more than a week at a job.

lol, so you are retarded, but thats ok because your also a male prostitute that posts on a forum with virgins. Good flow of logic there...

This guy starts a thread with some story about how he needs totse's help because he cant open some alcohol he stole from his parents and then 30 odd posts later hes bangin hoes for crack, promoting incest and insulting totse.

WTF?

So this is how you thank us? Atleast we're not severely mentally retarded. Usually it's funny, but in your case it's just sad.

You just came to totse asking how to open a CHILD-PROOF LIQUOR BOTTLE AND YOUR FUCKING 19. Then you hire some crackwhoar to let you fuck her cunt purely for sensual pleasure. I'm surprised you even knew where to shove your dick in. You have no fucking brains or self-control. Now you probably AIDS. Pretty soon it will be one less worthless scumbag that contributes nothing to society and even hinders it. I hope you get mounted by some 300 pound nigger in rehab. Enjoy the rest of your shitty life. You can only hope it doesn't last too long.

It's not a child proof device, it's a security tag/top you nitwits. They're a real pain to get off but I've seen bums do it. If not just smash the neck and pour through a coffee filter so you don't drink glass shards.

Which he couldnt figure out how to operate. What does that tell you?

i used to work at a grocery store and stocked the liquor shelves and remember when we started putting those anti-theft caps on the bottles. most of the time i wouldnt even put them on correctly. id use a large cap on a small bottle, or id just place the cap on top of the bottle without actually locking it on. i did that, and many many other little things at that store for the sole purpose of making things easier for people like you.

me and a coworker also made sure to spend a little time to try to figure out how to remove them. unfortunately we didnt figure out any smooth trick for it. but without enough strength you can just pull the fucker straight off without breaking the bottle. just do not push the cap down at all, that just locks it in more. for next time, go through the bottles and get the one with the cap that is pushed down the least bit, one where the cap is loose-ish and can wiggle around. that makes it a lot easier.

OR...

just fuckin break it. its just fuckin plastic!

kidiot

might be a lying retard, but at least he's not using this word.

god, you suck.

plehem are these anti-theft devices?!

sounds like they almost work.

i want a pic of this bullshit, also i hope you post more before you go into rehab, for the lulz. ;)

might be a lying retard, but at least he's not using this word.

god, you suck.

What's wrong with calling someone a "kidiot"? Is it because it's not officially a real word of the English language? Are you just one of those spelling and grammar freaks who will not rest until every person who posts in boards that you frequent is completely re-educated on the entire English language, successfully complete a six-week training course that will cause their language skills to become second-nature, and then makes their forum re-debut on a 90-Day probation period where their member status will temporarily edited from their regular one to a link that brings you to a thread that the returning member will have written an essay that displays their new and flawless English skills and explains why the user believes they should have their standard member status returned; the thread will have the polling feature enabled and will ask whether or not the O.P. deserves a second chance and be given minimal options to vote for (those being an optimistic and hopefully fairly-earned "Yes" or "No" if the voter feels that the O.P. does not have what it takes to master the art of coherency, or if the poster is believed to be a minority), and if this soon-to-be standard internet forum procedure is completed to the satisfaction of yourself, who will be given moderator status in the new forum specifically for the voting threads, will then and only then be treated as an equal forum member by yourself which apparently for some reason we're supposed to give half a shit about?

HUH? ARE YOU?!

this is the kind my post was referring to

http://tinylink.com/?kctYqbM0KU

im sure if you find something just right, and use it just right that you could use it like the actual key and just pick it, but its not like i could ever stop working and put a whole lot of time into it. but like i said, with enough force it will come off...

Haha, know well how that is, bwahahahaha

Chewy bars man

What's wrong with calling someone a "kidiot"? Is it because it's not officially a real word of the English language? Are you just one of those spelling and grammar freaks who will not rest until every person who posts in boards that you frequent is completely re-educated on the entire English language, successfully complete a six-week training course that will cause their language skills to become second-nature, and then makes their forum re-debut on a 90-Day probation period where their member status will temporarily edited from their regular one to a link that brings you to a thread that the returning member will have written an essay that displays their new and flawless English skills and explains why the user believes they should have their standard member status returned; the thread will have the polling feature enabled and will ask whether or not the O.P. deserves a second chance and be given minimal options to vote for (those being an optimistic and hopefully fairly-earned "Yes" or "No" if the voter feels that the O.P. does not have what it takes to master the art of coherency, or if the poster is believed to be a minority), and if this soon-to-be standard internet forum procedure is completed to the satisfaction of yourself, who will be given moderator status in the new forum specifically for the voting threads, will then and only then be treated as an equal forum member by yourself which apparently for some reason we're supposed to give half a shit about?

HUH? ARE YOU?!

Holy run-on sentence, Batman.

Holy run-on sentence, Batman.

Clearly I could benefit from attending that training course and re-education as well. Thanks for pointing that out. Although it was pretty rude of you to just throw out one of my flaws in that sarcastic way and without even knowing me. How would you like it if I told everyone something about you that you aren't proud of? For example, you seem to have a tendency to reference the old Batman television show. Although instead of making a direct quote you seemed to have just referenced a personality from the show, that persona being the young effeminate and cock-hungry sidekick Robin. You took his old formula he used to express his shock and fear over events that had just occurred and to make an open observation of it in case Batman isn't yet aware of it because of his infrequent bouts of depression over the choice of color for his costume (batman sometimes felt that because his costume was black and because no one knew who he really was that they assumed that the costume was his actual skin, and thus would see him as a black man. its a little known fact that Batman absolutely hates people of color). Robin also said it in that way to lighten himself and Batman up a bit. A little humor to downplay the scenario before they go in and risk their lives once more. You took all this from Robin, ripped it off, and poorly constructed your own version of it to fit the situation at hand.

What happened to being original? To being yourself? When did we get so braindead and hopeless that we had to start stealing from classic versions of second-rate superhero sidekicks? And then not even give proper credit! I am appalled and disgusted, sir.

I didn't read this whole thread...I just wanted to thank OP for the laugh. Did you actually ask how to bypass a childproof seal?

Classic.

What the fuck man!?!

I bet your parents would MUCH rather you just have a few drinks and leave the shit at the proof it was made at.

You aren't saving yourself by watering it down, you are just ruining the whole bottle and your parents will be piiiissed.

What the fuck man!?!

I bet your parents would MUCH rather you just have a few drinks and leave the shit at the proof it was made at.

You aren't saving yourself by watering it down, you are just ruining the whole bottle and your parents will be piiiissed.

Eh, it's a $12-$16 bottle of booze, depending on the size. I wouldn't feel too much of a loss especially because it's #1 in Meh-he-co.