So hypothetically, if you asked someone out and they were going to say 'no' what would be the least hurtful way you'd want to hear it?

I've kind of gotten myself into a bigger jam than expected, 4 guys to be exact and I'm not sure how this happened but 'I think we should be friends' obviously changed meanings in English without me knowing.

Anyway, I don't want to beat around the bush but my thoughts aren't so clear at the moment. I picked up my phone and hung up on one of the guys yesterday. I can't even get the words out. Is there any way to reject someone but still be on friendly terms? They all happen to be friends too so I don't know if that's relevant but I want all of this to end before people hear about it.

Ideas?
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Stop worrying about possibly hurting their feelings. All too often women try and be 'kind',not realising that men don't speak 'Female Polite' and then such misunderstandings ('just be friends'= fuck buddies') ensue!

The kindest way is to remember that men don't do subtle and don't understand your female goobledegook!

"I. DO.NOT.WANT.TO.GO.OUT.WITH.YOU.EVER!!! Not now, not never. I DO NOT fancy you! My cunny is like the Sahara when you're around! I DO like talking to you. I want you as a mate but we will NEVER be anything more. NO I AM NOT PLAYING HARD TO GET."

Is what you need to say.

Don't try and sweeten the pill. Think 'car crash'.

My cunny is like the Sahara when you're around!

Say this.

From reading most of the breakup threads in S&A, it's usually the guys bitching about the girls. I don't know, I was hoping there was some way to avoid that. Thanks for the advice Jack.
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I've acutally no idea. I'm not very good at rejecting people because I'm a bitter twisted bitch who's still an angry fat kid inside so I tend to take bitter pleasure in fucking with people who wouldnt have looked twice at me 6 years ago.


What jackketch reccomended is probably best.
And yes, to avoid them thinking you're being a tease it's probably best to outright tell them "i do not like you like that."

Or, utterly avoid him and ignore him. Do it for long enough he'll probably get the idea.

"No", works best.

Hurts a lot less when the bandaid is ripped off.

"I value my friends and I'd like you to be one of them, but there won't ever be anything more than just friendship".

However, sometimes they still try to sleep with you afterwards. It doesn't matter what you say to some people, they'll always try again. It's not a matter of them being confident, it's a matter of entitlement. It's a terrible trait.

"I. DO.NOT.WANT.TO.GO.OUT.WITH.YOU.EVER!!! Not now, not never. I DO NOT fancy you! My cunny is like the Sahara when you're around! I DO like talking to you. I want you as a mate but we will NEVER be anything more. NO I AM NOT PLAYING HARD TO GET."

Why would you say that you want to mate with them in the middle of all that? You'll confuse them even more!

whenever crappy girls ask me out or i get drunk and have sex with a less than appealing girl i tell them that i just have a lot of crap going on in my life and i can't get involved with anyone

Just don't be friends with guys. Eventually they'll all want to fuck you.

I knew this girl who wasn't drop dead gorgeuos or anything just decent, and I have high standards. I was up for just being friends because she had a boyfriend and I just treated her like shit and never paid her much attention while all the other guys were falling all over her. Well eventually I just started getting attracted to her. I didn't want to I just couldn't help it. So then my sick and twisted mind games started and I got her to break up with her boyfriend and we fucked then I treated her like shit all over again.

Moral of the story, all your guy friends will just want to stick it in you eventually.


The way we think is like.......Well if she wants to be my friend why can't we just fuck....like i'm sure we both..pleasure ourselves...why can't we help eachother out with that one...like.,you got a vag....i got a dick...Lets get er done! Then you pussy foot around and try to keep the friendship so we think we still have a chance if you still want to be friends. Get it?

Haha Soro is right, because friends that are girls.. I dunno you get to see more of their personality and then you start being like "damn, I love her! That means I wanna fuck."

Most of the time anyway, but that's best case scenario; sometimes we have pipe dreams like "damn what a cool chick, i wanna knock her up and move to mexico and live on the beach sipping margaritas forever."

or maybe that's me.

Are you trying to say that any girl is likeable after X amount of time with them?
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Are you trying to say that any girl is likeable after X amount of time with them?
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No, but a girl who is somewhat good looking can become very attractive if she has the right personality. Women are no different, if you have nothing to work with you will never be attractive to women, but a semi-good looking guy can become very handsome if he has a stellar personalty, atleast that's what I see women do.

Anyway, are they that unattractive that you need to reject it? Why not be nice, fuck all 4 of them, they won't care if you reject them afterwards.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=P8g_wavcFR4

Just be fucking honest, don't leave him hoping for more in the future.

No, but a girl who is somewhat good looking can become very attractive if she has the right personality. Women are no different, if you have nothing to work with you will never be attractive to women, but a semi-good looking guy can become very handsome if he has a stellar personalty, atleast that's what I see women do.

Anyway, are they that unattractive that you need to reject it? Why not be nice, fuck all 4 of them, they won't care if you reject them afterwards.

I'm not going to fuck 4 guys. I may aswell go down to the city and whore myself.
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I'm not going to fuck 4 guys. I may aswell go down to the city and whore myself.
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Shotgun!

-deus-

Do you have so much free time that you can't dig up some excuse that limits your time? And the free time you do have is kind of thpoken forz?

"I've got one asshole down there now? Why would I want you down there too?"

(Only to be used with the rude, uncouth boyzors who won't take a hint!) :p

Well I spent my free time writing that up, does that count? Technically I was thinking of it.

loL, your excuse is sure to raise angry feelings moonie-san. You must beat the ladies off with a stick. :p
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Is Kai thinking he has a chance?

Have you ever been beaten off? With a stick?

Lovely...really!

I want you as a mate but we will NEVER be anything more.

Around here we refer to mates as sexual partners. I wouldn't go with that. "No" would suffice; anything else is cockteasing.

You're so obviously a large camp man who directs fashion shoots or something.

No one else could sound so outrageously feminine and male at the same time.

OP, I'm confused here. You have the easiest way possible to blow guys off, moreso than any other person on these boards. Just lift up your skirt and show them your cock.....no worries at all about hurting their feelings "rejecting" them. They'll be rejecting you within milliseconds. Granted you better be ready for a beating or at the very least run for your life, but that is definitely a way you will not "hurt their feelings".

Just lift up your skirt and show them your cock.

You say that like its a bad thing :(

Obviously you don't live somewhere rural.

You say that like its a bad thing :(

Obviously you don't live somewhere rural.

Farm animals in Norfolk constantly look over their shoulder.........A look of trepidation in their eyes!

You had to say that didn't you? :p

OP, I'm confused here. You have the easiest way possible to blow guys off, moreso than any other person on these boards. Just lift up your skirt and show them your cock.....no worries at all about hurting their feelings "rejecting" them. They'll be rejecting you within milliseconds. Granted you better be ready for a beating or at the very least run for your life, but that is definitely a way you will not "hurt their feelings".

Why would you waste your time in my thread if you hate me? You're silly. :o
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Why would you waste your time in my thread if you hate me? You're silly. :o
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Who said I hated you? I gave you the easiest, simplest, most effective, and "least hurtful to the other guy's feelings" solution to your scenario......which is what you asked for. Ya don't want me on your threads, then in the future just add to the title"DaGuru-I don't want your input". Until then, you'll get my honesty just like every other poster on Totse.

I love Moonmister.

Um, for me, I just fuckin' hate it when girls are unclear in their intentions. Like, an ex (who broke up with me) recently told me that she had wanted to get back together, and had told me this. Also, she broke up with me really unclearly. As in, "I hat the word boyfriend, so is really good friends okay with you?"



I think somebody snuck in while I was asleep one night, and installed a crazy magnet.

"I hat the word boyfriend, so is really good friends okay with you?"



I see... So she is knocking you down from "boyfriend" to "hat"? Now you'll be just an accessory like a necklace or earrings? Sounds demeaning. As if when her main squeeze is busy, she'll be able to pick you up & use you for a few hours, then put you down again.

Don't ever change moonie-san.
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I see... So she is knocking you down from "boyfriend" to "hat"? Now you'll be just an accessory like a necklace or earrings? Sounds demeaning. As if when her main squeeze is busy, she'll be able to pick you up & use you for a few hours, then put you down again.

More like "boyfriend" to..Some common household appliance that you bitch at and dump all your petty issues in.

"I'm a homosexual.

Sorry. :("

"What the fuck? No, you're not."

"Ok... Then the thought of sleeping with you makes me want to be. :)"

Just tell them all you're in love with me. They'll understand.

I'm sure telling him that I've fallen for Satanz Handicapped Helper won't make him think I'm insane.
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It's hurtful no matter what

If you say you wanna be friends or let them down nice it'll hurt them in the long run because they'll always be thinking they can still make you fall in love with them or have sex with them or whatver

Or you can hurt them for a day or two and tell them straight up

"Our love can nevah be! Now get outta here ya wee bastid!"

Only read first post. Not because I don't care, but because I don't want other people's thoughts contaminating what I'm about to say.

You should only say "I think we should be friends," if you genuinely mean it. And by that, I mean the whole subtext of 'I like you and like spending time with you, but that's as far as it goes'.

We know if you mean it or not. It's pretty painless if you seriously mean it. In my experience, it doesn't exactly hurt of you don't mean it, but it sure pisses me off. Not the rejection, but that I don't even merit something beyond the biggest cliche in the world.


Probably the best rejection I ever got was from this girl, Eden, back in high school. She told me that we'd spent enough time together already that she could tell we didn't have much in common, and it wouldn't work. Then she made a suggestion for someone I might have better luck with. I left that encounter with pride intact, and hope in my heart.

If I could, I'd want all of us to be friends and pretend like nothing's happened since my group of girls and their group are fond of each other. I was hoping for a non-awkward phase after it all. I don't think it's possible, really.
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You could be one of those loosely affiliated groups where everybody sleeps with everyone else sooner or later? Interpersonal stuff is too hard to deal with. Just go right to the physical...after a decent waiting period of a few days/weeks.

brilliant!

so how many of these guys are asking you out?

You're being quite vague.

It was 4 but now it's 2, I've dealt with the ones I've seen this week.
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there was this one girl i liked for a while, and when i finally asked, she said she had a boyfriend. i don't think she did, but who knows. either way, that's a good answer, cause you can't really be angry about it.

Unless he knows she's lying.

Just walk away. No contact with the person forever. Dispose of any sign of that past relationship.

o

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aquire incontinence in front of them