Right now as we speak I can hear my mom and my stepdad getting it on, Like full force, bed banging on the wall sex.

God dammit that is a bad thought..

Anyone else ever hear their parents having sex?

Nope, thats because I was shipped off to a boarding school at a young age.

that sucks

It gets better: http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?p=9427051

I love to hear it, I like to masturbate and fantasize that I'm there with them. My GF finds this odd though

Yeah when I was fucking my mum, and my dad was having me in the ass :)

Not nice man...Not nice at all.

I've never heard it, but once I was out, and my parents decided to have sex. I called my dad to come pick me up, he came, but I could smell the sex.

Use this as a get out of jail free card.

Run in there with a camera and tell them a recent fuck-up of yours.

Then tell them that if you get any shit off them about it, then that video is going on the Internet.

I caught a live show of my parents in doggy style when I was 9. :\

he came, but I could smell the sex.
hahaa

My mom doesn't care what I do. So that doesn't work. She knows I smoke weed, and every time i've gotten arrested my stepdad gives me tips on how to do what I did better without getting caught.

Why the fuck are you sitting at your computer? Totse demands pics and vids!

I found my mother's jar of KY jelly recently.

Fucking nasty. I don't want to imagine if she is fuckin my dad or if she is just fapping.

lol..


I remember when I was a little kid, like 9 or 10 years old. I was looking in the drawers under my parents water bed, and I found these vibraters and dildos, and misc. oils and stuff.. I was like eww.. lol

I also used to find whips and shit.

I found this pic of my mom tied up naked once. It has scarred me for life, mainly becuz it was a pic of her tied up in the living room, to the railing and shit.. I was like OMG!

Imagine being like 11 years old and finding that.

My parents don't have sex.
They sleep with their bedroom door open at all times.

But I have heard them discussing sexual things, which is almost worse. ie: "Husband, I don't like that you look at porn all the time because it makes me think you are thinking of those girls when we're 'being intimate' "

And then I barf in my mouth and put my fingers in my ears.

My parent's room was on the other end of the house, so I could stay awake all night playing nintendo or looking for whatever was closer to porn in cable television. Ah, the good old days.

Ha ha!

I never hear my parents having sex, thank god. I walked in on them once when I was like 7, but I didn't really understand what they were doing anyway.

Last time I heard my dad having sex he was fucking my old step-mom. So it wasn't that weird because at least my Mom wasn't involved. I had more of a go get her' tiger attitude about it.

I'm almost positive my parents haven't had sex ever.

I'm almost positive they don't even love each other.

It gets better: http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?p=9427051

You did get lucky, many people who go through that stuff end up in gangs, and inevitably dead, or in prison.

If your parents haven't had sex, then where did u come from?

Or did your dad jack off into your mothers vagina?

Artificial insemination.

I once walked in on my parents, as a kid.

"We're wrestling...

As you can see, your mom's cunny has my pecker in a headlock--
You know what? Go see what your sisters are doing."

:(...

Same with mine!

seriously im not even fucking joking at all.

Right now as we speak I can hear my mom and my stepdad getting it on, Like full force, bed banging on the wall sex.

Step 1 : record audio.

Step 2 : play back at inappropriate times, at high volume.

Step 3 : ???

Step 4 : lulz.

I once walked in on my parents, as a kid.

"We're wrestling...

As you can see, your mom's cunny has my pecker in a headlock--
You know what? Go see what your sister's are doing."

:(...

lol

Artificial insemination

wait, so they are married, and won't have sex? thats weird,

I live in the room under my parents'.

The floors are thin.

I hear it quite frequently. I once found some of their stuff, like videos and vibrators and stuff. Another time, after they had come home from a vacation, I found a CD with some of their amateur videos.

...yeah.

And you watched them?

Post vids.

And you watched them?

Post vids.

Well, it was that "so weird I can't look away" kind of thing.

And no. Oh god no.

It can also be scarring to be in a porn store with your girlfriend and see your grandparents come out of a booth together....Oh Jesus I felt sick for days after that! Never seen my parents having sex but have heard them moaning and whimpering. Eeww!

Just reading that made me feel sick.

I once heard my dad banging his girlfriend, and I once caught my dad feeling up the neighbour.

My mother occasionally talks about sex with her boyfriend when I'm there, and once mentioned, to me, about having given him a blowjob. I think she just does it to see my reaction. Its always one of those 'A little piece of me just died inside' moments. But it doesn't bother me much anymore.

However, occasionally when in a group, and the topic turns to kids, she will bring up that 'oh, when you boys were 5 or so in the bath, and I'd wash your hair you'd get a little wee-wee!' (errection). God she is a horrible person sometimes!

lol pwned

You guys are lucky. My parents are sick twisted people. When I was like 17/18 I would get home from school or work or whatever and my mom would look at my dad and be like... "honey did you change the sheets in Melissa's room?" and my dad would be like "nope she can put a towel over the wet spots". I know they were joking but it's fucking sick. I always demanded a lock and they could never understand why.

damn that's fucked up!

Thank God I'm a bastard!

--KP

One time, when I was like three, my mom bought me a ninja turtles video and told me to watch it and stay in the den. I put it on and when the opening credits came on as it started I thought the tape was fucked up, so I rewound it a few times, yelled, and then ran to my parents room where my mom was wearing fancy underwear and being mounted by my dad. They yelled at me and told me to try the tape again. That was the last time I caught them fucking for 15 years...

Then like a month ago while I was at home for vacation I came in at like three am, drunk as shit and went to tell them I was home cause there light was on and I figured they must have been worried about me or something stupid. I walk in, they're doing it, I slam the door and yell something along the lines of 'that should be illegal, you guys are fucked up...'

My room is in the basement, and my parent's room is almost directly above mine, and almost every night I can hear the squeaking, and if the air conditioner isn't on, I can even hear moaning, very disturbing. Luckily I have my music playing to blast out their icky sounds. In the morning its almost the same, if I come up to make me breakfast, I can hear the moaning once again.

Ohh god thats some fucked up shit.
A buddy of mines Mom, has this silver suitcase
filled with pornos,dildos,anal lube.
And some whips and kinky shit, like a ball for your mouth!
She has one of those dildos that goes in your cunt
and your ass!! We call Pandora's Silver Box.
The werid thing is that shes married, so maybe the
dildo is going in his dad.......

Fucking nasty shit

I definitely think it's worse to hear them doing it than to walk in. Because on one hand it's this split second thing you can laugh about together later.

When you hear it happening? Oh hell no. It just keeps going and going. The night it happened to me I was fucking horrified. I had to have been about 12 years old. I don't know. It was just weird as fuck. Man, even thinking about it now freaks me out.

All clear for the first 15 years of my life, my mom was single. damn that's weird i know she was off with other guys secretly, that's fucked up. anyway.


just some gross stuff, like first, when my faggot stepdad moved in, like before the marriage (he was a felon living in a trailer if that helps ya) so, like.. a month before the wedding last year, i'm looking for some school related packet about classes, i go in her drawer and VOILA. "Toy cleaner" and "KY Jelly"
EWW

Anyway, then like this christmas break, i say i'm gonna go to a friends then i go to a party, get wasted, decide to stay there, call her and ask and she's like Okay. so then the guys like DUDE NEVERMIND so I drive home, drunk as nuts, get home (she thinks im out till morning) open the door and i'm like "alright, act sober" and as I'm going through those actions I hear a cabinet door shutting, the bed squeaking and like the closet door, basically hurrying is what i heard. my mom walks out of her room, closes the door behind her, and she's wearing a fuckin robe, she never wears a ROBE to bed. my stepdad was probably sititng back there in the room all butthurt, with a boner, cuz i interrupted his SICK SICK activity.

This is why I hate my parents' anniversery.

Why is sex so taboo? Props to your parents for enjoying sex. If you had an open relationship, this would be something you could talk about. No real issues when I heard the rents moving the mattress.