So basically I was too controlling with my girl(x I guess?) and didn't want her talking to ANY of her exes, it's just how I am man and it makes me uncomforable. So it was ok in the beginning of our 7 month relationship and I didnt talk to my exes either, well a few days ago she finally complained that I was too controlling and after her cussing me out we both ended it because we figured we both werent happy.

I talked to her friend and she thinks we need a "break", but im not sure man. Like im not sure if this girl wants a break, I try to ask her but all she says is "idk"....I say I want her back and she says "we will see how you act" ..she says that because now she is talking to all her exes and has them all added on her myspace.

I figure since I love her I can compromise I guess if thats what she really wants, I mean I wouldnt be cool with her chilling with them and I told her this. But now it seems like were on this break and I just can't take it anymore, I need to know if im in her longterm plans, so I can either move on or do whatever. She doesnt talk to me as much as she used to as far as texting is concerned, I usually miss her and text her and then feel guilty because it makes me feel desperate. I just wanna fuckin throw my phone and break it so I wont feel tempted to contact her, I want her to text me first.

Im just so lost in this man, I told her what I said here and she has problems with her mom right now, so she said "I dont wanna deal with this right now"..but I need to know..im such a jealous person that if she got with another guy in this "break"..I couldnt look at her the same or get back with her, im so afraid that shes gonna start liking her exes again. a few of her exes have already tried to tell her that they liked her or loved her and this and that.

I was too controlling, I mean I did install a keylogger on her shit and she found out because I had confronted her about talking to an ex behind my back. and now shes fighting with her mom, I talked to her dad and her mom is accusing her of sending naked pics on the net(dont know the whole story)..But I did find out on her old sn that she sent tit pics to a dude, was a few years ago. When I asked her about it she said she was insecure about herself and did all that, I just hope shes not doing that now man.

So what should I do totse? I tried deleting her from my myspace to try and forget about her but she called me an asshole and got all mad..Is this worth it? I love her and im depressed as fuck without her. Sometimes I think about killing myself but then i think how stupid that is, i have alot of anger inside me.

I need help.

Edit: Also I don't trust her because 1 time I found in her email that she was telling an ex that she loved him, so don't think I do not trust her for no reason.

Also a while ago I found in her myspace a message from her friend saying "so who you with pedro or tim?" and she responded "lol I still didnt break up with pedro yet"

I asked her about that and she said she didnt wanna tell her friend about us because her friend didnt like me.

Sounds like a bitch, I advise to dump her.

Yeah, it's goddamn painful and the hardest thing to think of right now, especially if you love her, but dude, you'd be saving yourself from a pain ten times worse in a few months, a year, or however long from now.

If you can't trust her, and she's done nothing to earn your trust, there's not much left, sad to say, trust tends to be a tender and fleeting animal, very, very hard to earn back.

As a rule (along with the 'bitches ain't nothin but hoes and tricks' rule), the only person you can change in a relationship is yourself, trying to change anyone else is only painful, fruitless work in the end.

Keep your chin up, even if you don't believe it, realize there's much better girls out there, and you will someday find someone that loves you as much as you love them, bar none.

Thanks Orange, thing is I do want her man, but it will be hard now that she is talking to all her exes. I dont know, I just never been with a girl who wanted to talk to all of her exes, so it's new to me. I just hope she tells me soon whether im in the longterm plans so I can start the grieving process(I thought I already did but i may be getting false hope)

And yes I did cheat on her but that is a different story as is.

The unfortunate brutal truth is that you must stop believing that you have a healthy future relationship with this girl. For your own sake, cut it off with her immediately and as pleasantly as possible.

At whatever point in the relationship when you began to get excessively jealous of her, it changed how she viewed you. You need to work on these issues and then you will be able to enter into a healthy relationship with a new woman.

At where you're at now with this girl, unless you end it now immediately on good terms, you walk a thin chance at even friendship with her.

Thanks Orange, thing is I do want her man, but it will be hard now that she is talking to all her exes. I dont know, I just never been with a girl who wanted to talk to all of her exes, so it's new to me. I just hope she tells me soon whether im in the longterm plans so I can start the grieving process(I thought I already did but i may be getting false hope)

And yes I did cheat on her but that is a different story as is.

If you can help it, don't start with the false hope, it'll only hurt more and for longer, trust me. Prepare for the worst in any case.

My ex (you did read a bit of that thread iirc) liked talking to one of her exes when we started dating, lied about who he was, argued about hanging out with him. Never told him she loved him or anything that nuts, at least, but it was still one of the biggest fights we had, and not worth it.

Exes should be exes for a reason, she should be with you and only you, for a reason. None of this telling her exes she loves them BS. If she were with you, she'd be with you only, no confusion or arguing.

Doesn't sound like she cares or respects you much at all, sadly, I dunno what to say.

Far as the cheating, just don't do it again, it's never worth it really, and 2 wrongs don't make a right.

Best advice I can give is that she's not worth your time or the heartache from it. Don't wait on her plans for it, take what you want and what's best for you, don't put yourself at essentially the mercy of someone like that, you'll regret it like nothing else, trust me.

Thanks Casa and Orange, I took the dumb route and claimed I was going to commit suicide or go to the hospital(in which I could avoid her)..I just don't know what to do man, when I tell her I can't doit or wait, she pulls the "you dont care" card.

When I pulled the suicidal card she said "if you keep this up YOU WILL NEVER have me back"...Now my hindsight is 20/20 and im starting to get into the "it's over" phase, in which I wanted an answer, So atleast I got it and can go from there :/

If she texts or emails me, should I respond?

Going the the same-boat idea here a little, I can give advice well, but as far as following it myself is a different story. Many things are much easier said than done, of course, and this falls well into that category.

The thing seems to be that you care, and she doesn't, at least not much at all. Care and trust are basics to just about any relationship, really.

Kinda looks like she thinks (and maybe does a little, no offense) have you jumping for a dangling string, with her holding all the power. it's not right, and you shouldn't stand for it, that's it.

For your own sanity, well-being and generally not feeling like a sack of shit for any longer than you should, try your best not to respond to her, at all. Can't keep letting her pull you along and hold all the cards like this, dude.

Yeah, it hurts and it will, but I'll promise you and bet you every cent I have that it's by far (FAR) in your better interests to break it off now, and cut contact as best you can. Doesn't sound like she's doing you or any other poor sap she's involved with any good.

As much as no, I don't know your exact situation, and no, I'm neither you nor part of that relationship, most people will go through some shit like that in their lives, the outcome is never really different, and you're better off looking for someone else.

Don't wait on her to cut it, doesn't sound like she will quite that easily (unless she REALLY doesn't care about you at all), I'm willing to bet she may keep trying to string you along for a while. For the love of god, don't fall into it.

I know but the hardest part for me is CUTTIng it off, like I get really sad or pissed off when I imagine her with other guys. Thats my biggest fear right now, it's so hard, I wanna pull the trigger and just delete her off my phonebook and cut her off myspace..Biggest obstacle right now..after that I could see it getting better, provided I don't have to look at her pics anymore.

She just isnt making much sense right now, shes textin me sayin shit like "u got what u wanted" and this and that, well I keep tellin her she got what she wanted, and that is for her to talk to her exes and not worry about me.

The hardest part is cuttin the first string(contact)..I wanna pull the trigger so bad but something is holdin me back.

The thing is, im such a jealous person that I couldnt manage a friendship with her knowin she is with guys and having sex with them. thats my own issues that I have to deal with and I dont know how to deal with them.

I know but the hardest part for me is CUTTIng it off, like I get really sad or pissed off when I imagine her with other guys. Thats my biggest fear right now, it's so hard, I wanna pull the trigger and just delete her off my phonebook and cut her off myspace..Biggest obstacle right now..after that I could see it getting better, provided I don't have to look at her pics anymore.

She just isnt making much sense right now, shes textin me sayin shit like "u got what u wanted" and this and that, well I keep tellin her she got what she wanted, and that is for her to talk to her exes and not worry about me.

The hardest part is cuttin the first string(contact)..I wanna pull the trigger so bad but something is holdin me back.

Pull it, don't look back.

Cut contact, even if you have to fight yourself to do it, but stick to it.

What's holding you back is your fear of the unknown, where you go from here, how you'll feel, if you'll feel happy again and if you'll find a better girl or two. it only goes up from here, bud, just take the first step.

Pull it, don't look back.

Cut contact, even if you have to fight yourself to do it, but stick to it.

What's holding you back is your fear of the unknown, where you go from here, how you'll feel, if you'll feel happy again and if you'll find a better girl or two. it only goes up from here, bud, just take the first step.

Thing is my issues with imagining her with other guys, havin sex. Like of course I know she will 1 day but those are my issues. Sorta like a territoral(SP please) thing..ATM I just can't imagine her having sex with other guys, plus I feel some hope that she will want me back.

I know what your sayin tho as far as cutting ties asap, I just can't do it tonight.

Like for some reason when she says "so u been flirting with anyone?" I take that as she has fucked with someone. Or when she says I got what I wanted I feel like that may have been an excuse to take the break, but why wouldnt she just say its over and move on? FUCK..another beer please

Fuckin bitch had her wisdom teeth pulled this morning and i been tellin her all week how I wanted to come and take care of her. So she tells her guy friend "so u comin over right???" and doesnt even ask me to come, I tell her i wanna come and shes like "ok if u want"...then she tells me her ex wanted to chill and she told him she would just be like blah and hes like ok and shes like well ok we will just watch movies...WTF?

Thing is my issues with imagining her with other guys, having sex. Like of course I know she will 1 day but those are my issues. Sorta like a territorial(SP please) thing..ATM I just can't imagine her having sex with other guys, plus I feel some hope that she will want me back.

I know what your saying tho as far as cutting ties asap, I just can't do it tonight.

Not asking you to do it tonight, I know that's not really possible, start when you're ready to, gradually even, just for your own good, DO do it, sooner the better, but at your own pace (or a little faster, push yourself as much as you can, though.)

I feel that same sorta deal right now about my ex, to be honest, it sucks and I don't want to imagine it, it's more or less the reason I'm up at 4:36 AM right now. Bothers me to no end, serves a tiny, tiny, tiny bit to distance me, which is good I suppose. I'm losing that hope I had, bit by bit, you will too, at least you should.

Try to think rationally and logically, why would you want her to want you back?

Not asking you to do it tonight, I know that's not really possible, start when you're ready to, gradually even, just for your own good, DO do it, sooner the better, but at your own pace (or a little faster, push yourself as much as you can, though.)

I feel that same sorta deal right now about my ex, to be honest, it sucks and I don't want to imagine it, it's more or less the reason I'm up at 4:36 AM right now. Bothers me to no end, serves a tiny, tiny, tiny bit to distance me, which is good I suppose. I'm losing that hope I had, bit by bit, you will too, at least you should.

Try to think rationally and logically, why would you want her to want you back?

Why would I want her back?

Well I do love her very much, also last night she said she was thinking about getting back with me but she seen a girl on my myspace leaving me a comment. Totally contradictive(sp sorry im drunk) of her because her whole thing was to talk to exes.

IDK I love her and im afraid of being alone and I love having sex whenever I see her I suppose.

IDK I just keep raisin my box cutter from work to my arm and thinkin of reasons of why I shouldnt do it. fuckin ey

Why would I want her back?

Well I do love her very much, also last night she said she was thinking about getting back with me but she seen a girl on my myspace leaving me a comment. Totally contradictive(sp sorry im drunk) of her because her whole thing was to talk to exes.

IDK I love her and im afraid of being alone and I love having sex whenever I see her I suppose.

What does she give you that's positive, that benefits you, that makes you happy? Try to list it, really, if you can.

Dude, don't let her guilt or hook you again, if she doesn't respect you, trust you, or think much of you, and she doesn't give you cause or reason to give her any of the same, you won't be happy with her, you'll just be frustrated, worried, jealous, and everything you are now, way too often.

The love will wane, at least that's my theory, and you'll see past it in time. Don't worry about being alone, you can grab another (better) chick easily enough, or enjoy being single if you'd like, same deal with the sex.

Dude put down the damn box cutter, no use outing yourself over some bitch who doesn't give two shits about you, you're a better guy than that. I'll grab another beer, if you'd like to do the same.

When I wake up in the afternoon after my drunken state, im going to call her and give her 1 last ultimatum..You want me or not..No breaks.. and then go from there.

I can't deal with this shit, I can't bring this shit to my job..my job is even in shambles because of this shit. I can't show up to work depressed and looking like an asshole once again. Ty and yes I will write down a list and take ur advice, im down to my last 2 beers

Thanks Orange, this may sound corny but I don't have many friends who are willing to come over this time of night to come and talk to me, and even on the phone(I called 1 and they didn't wanna be bothered, ha some friend)..But ya this is all I basically have is Totse haha go figure..anyways i'm thankful for that.

Cheers!

Ok, and really don't let it fuck up the rest of your life, it's not worth that, much as you think you love her right now.

Oh, and with that ultimatum (if you must), if she tries to turn it around to blame you, or give you an ultimatum right back, turn around, and walk away.

List is a good idea, also keeps the reasons/ideas in your head from disappearing, fading, etc. and puts some common sense and something concrete from a jumble of thoughts.

I'm outta beer, calling it a night.

No problem bud, I've come to totse a few times looking for something like this (not the same situation, but you catch the meaning) since I never really had, and still don't have any people to talk about it with, really, it was nice to have some conversation, someone to listen and maybe advise a bit, figure the least I can do is offer my experience forwards in the same fashion. *tips hat, walks into the night*

Ok, and really don't let it fuck up the rest of your life, it's not worth that, much as you think you love her right now.

Oh, and with that ultimatum (if you must), if she tries to turn it around to blame you, or give you an ultimatum right back, turn around, and walk away.

List is a good idea, also keeps the reasons/ideas in your head from disappearing, fading, etc. and puts some common sense and something concrete from a jumble of thoughts.

I'm outta beer, calling it a night.

No problem bud, I've come to totse a few times looking for something like this (not the same situation, but you catch the meaning), was nice to have some conversation, someone to listen and maybe advise a bit, figure the least I can do is offer my experience forwards in the same fashion. *tips hat, walks into the night*

Iv'e realized I can't cut myself for her, to be honest I did think about it but im so glad I put that down. Anyways...I realize what I have to do, and I know when it's time to walk away from this and STart to move on. Thanks so much for your input and GL in your situation.

CHEERs!

Well no fucking wonder you dont trust her! In this case it seems fully justified!




Why do you want her back?
I can understand everyone worrying about their partners ex'es to an extent, but if you worry that much, your concerns are well founded.


Is it that you dont want to be alone? fear you couldnt get any better?

Because if that's the case, I assure you you can do better, and you wont live your life forever alone just because you got rid of this girl.



Trust is an important part to a relationship, and her sending Emails to an ex does not inspire trust.

Dump.

The.

Bitch.

Trust is an important part to a relationship, and her sending Emails to an ex does not inspire trust.


yep, exactly! if she wants to go behind you back and talk with her ex's while you don't talk to yours seems to me like shes being a immature spoiled bitch. let her take her "break" then get a new GF because that shit will never ever be worth it. and like everyone else is saying you will be alot better off in the time to come.

She's obviously not worth your time if she doesn't even want to try and work it out. Forget her, NOW!!!
This piece of your life is very small, only a tiny percentage, now move on and start living the other percentage. Don't waste your life feeling bad, feel good. Everyone deserves to feel good and everyone also has the power to choose to feel good. You may not control what happens in life, but you always choose how you feel about it. Remember that.

Iv'e realized I can't cut myself for her, to be honest I did think about it but im so glad I put that down. Anyways...I realize what I have to do, and I know when it's time to walk away from this and STart to move on. Thanks so much for your input and GL in your situation.

CHEERs!

Thanks bud, I may need a bit of it yet.

Good luck to you, getting out and up from that.

leave her, she'll never change

Orange, my respect for you has gone way up due to this thread.

Explain how.

Explain how.

You sound like you actually give a shit, rather than the usual 'dump her, shes bad g/f lol'. I had put you down as more of a women are evil poster, but I guess I was wrong.

You sound like you actually give a shit, rather than the usual 'dump her, shes bad g/f lol'. I had put you down as more of a women are evil poster, but I guess I was wrong.

lol wai thnk u, srsly.

I'm in a little of the same boat now, have been in the past, guess that helped it a little.

Nah, can't say that I think wimmin are evil, or men neccesarily, it's all individual and as the saying goes, c'est la vie sometimes, live and learn.