Okay, I'm going through some hard shit right now. Lies, drugs, rape, theft. I don't have many people to talk too, and they all say the same things, same advice, sympathy, ect. So here goes, this is how my week has been.

Please read this and give me some advice, I'm going insane over this shit.

So, my girlfriend has a problem with narcotics(so do I.) but we've been clean for like 5-6 months and things were getting better. Last saturday I was going to a punk show, and she was going to get a ride to her *friend's* house from this random guy she's known for years. I'd met him before through getting random rides from him, so I let her go, but I made her promise not to do any powders, and she did promise.

(notes: I gave her a twenty dollar bill for gas, but I needed $15 of it back to afford a detox. kit to clean my piss for probation. *Her supposed friend was a girl she met in an AA Meeting, who was going to give her meth for the time, and then watch her smoke it.)

This is what ENDED up happening. She never got ahold of the girl from AA, and instead talked this guy into buying her a gram of coke, and give her some of his 10mg time-release oxycotton. Now, she's only 16, and this guy is fucking 27. She she takes the oxy and then did the whole gram of coke in like, half an hour. So, she's fucking flying, and the guy drives out to the beach. Basically they go out there, and he rapes her. He's saying shit like this, "if you tell anybody about this, I'm going to kill your family" and "is it bigger than your boyfriend's?" Fucking FREAK, sick motherfucker. He drops her off and I'm already waiting at home, back from the show. I knew from the moment she walked in the door than she was spun, eyes were bulging, chewing gum, shaking. She admits what happened, but ONLY tells me she did drugs, that and how she lost the change from my 20 dollars, when she really gave it to the guy for gas/drugs/whatever. So, although I'm fucking pissed about the drugs and the money, I end up fucking the shit out of her because she's coked out and horny. So after Saturday night, days pass without me knowing about the rape, and finally today 1-16-08, she told me she was raped, and that the guy is already in jail. I heard the message on the answering phone from the sheriff. I'm just, mentally tired. Too many feelings to experience at once, mad/sad/guilty/paranoid. Does ANY girl want to have sex after being rape, it makes me wonder if she was even raped, because it seems like rape turns girls OFF. I mean, I love my girlfriend, but with enough drugs, people will do anything. Also, since I got sloppy seconds from a rape, which means possible STD's. I don't know how she could have sex with me when she knew she could be carrying. Then there's the thoughts of murdering this guy. Then there's the guilt for letting her go in the first time, for letting her do narcotics all together. Like I said, I'm just fucking tired, and don't know whether to leave her, or stay and work it out. We've been together 14 months, and made it through some hard shit before, but I just know if it's worth it this time. I'd say it's a classic battle of the heart versus the mind.

I'd really appreciate any advice/feedback/questions.

I don't know what to tell you, but i mean there are two possibilities. She's lying and just had drugged out sex and feels guilty. She was on coke and said no and the guy just went for it and she did nothing to resist. Which sounds more likely to you, given your understanding of the drugs she's on and your personal history with your girl?

I know whenever I've cheated on someone and been on coke, I've wanted it. I've been honest about cheating on them, but I've always wanted it.

and I thought I was having problems...damn. Well, I think, from what I heard, that she needs to get clean. Drug addiction is nothing to take lightly, and if it's leading to situations like that, you guys both need to consider what you're going to do with your drug use.

Give up any thoughts of killing the guy, if all goes well, he's going to be in prison so long, he won't be able to get it up when he gets out. Hopefully, the justice system will actually work.

She's an evil cunt and gives women who were really raped a bad name. I hope she gets the cancer.

Personally, and for once I'm not joking here, I'd beat the crap out of her and then ditch her lying arse. Seen first hand the damage such lies do.

The main thing to remember here is that you heard the message from the sheriff. This means she really was raped and, more importantly, did the right thing about it.

It doesn't matter what she did after the rape as far as fucking you is concerned. Maybe she felt dirty and you make her feel clean. The fact of the matter is you should be proud of her.

Well, I can THINK which possibility is more likely, but I've never really know. This is the part that's driving me insane, she's doing the whole "coming clean" thing, but she's done this before a million times without laying out all the facts. Then she's "come clean AGAIN, with even MORE fucked up bullshit."

The main thing to remember here is that you heard the message from the sheriff. This means she really was raped and, more importantly, did the right thing about it.

It doesn't matter what she did after the rape as far as fucking you is concerned. Maybe she felt dirty and you make her feel clean. The fact of the matter is you should be proud of her.

Well, I'd LOVE to believe this, if things ended up being that simple, THEN I'd be proud of her, but right now, I'm paranoid. That next fucking bombshell is waiting for me tomorrow morning, WHAT"S NEXT!? I'm serious though, it's not fun. I'm picturing the actual rape in my head and getting more and more pissed.

The main thing to remember here is that you heard the message from the sheriff. This means she really was raped and, more importantly, did the right thing about it.
.

Crap! All it means is she made an accusation. Procedure now (almost) everywhere is that if a woman makes an accusation then the man is treated as guilty. Whether or not there is any evidence at all.

Here in the UK if a woman , whom you've never even met, goes to the police and tells them you raped her then they are duty bound to arrest you, take away your clothes , take your DNA etc etc

No matter even if she's a known mental case who accuses a new stranger every week.

There's no way to tell for sure if it really took place, but it sounds like it didn't. For all we know he may have only gotten her half a gram but taken her money, causing her to get pissed and take action. You never really know. But it is definitely suspicious that she went and had sex immediately after, putting you in danger of getting an STD. I might not trust her if I were you, but I think it's best to err on the side of caution for now and be supportive. After she's sort of over it, then you may want to consider the facts of the situation and whether or not you think she was really raped.

theres a chance it didnt happen.

but, rape just like anything else isnt black and white, and there are girls that have sex immediately after. in someways you could view it as a return to normalcy.

it'd also make sense that the aftermath of drugged rape would differ from rape at knife point etc.

i could tell you what evolutionary psychology has to say. but its not really worth it.

Ok here's your plan of attack, for the short term at least.

1) Ring the sheriff yourself and ask if this was really true. A smart woman would get a friend to leave a message like that because it makes her own story look more true and also removes the possibility of you going and beating him up, so she gets two birds with one stone. Maybe I'm a pessimist but check for yourself, she doesn't have to know.

2) The hard truth is she either cheated on you or really did get raped. Both suck, but they are both livable. If she cheated on you, obviously, dump her. If she really got raped and he is in jail, you already have your revenge and you have the shitty task of working through this, I suggest you both get some advice from a therapist.

She's sixteen which in Australia at least means he isn't guilty of carnal knowledge/statutory rape, but if she is under the age of censent in your country then charge him with this, it's a despicable crime, especially with such a large age difference. That being said, if she is above the age of consent I suggest you sit her down and say 'I won't get mad, but I really need to know if this was rape or if it was consentual, I really don't care but you're going to ruin that dudes life'. Not that he should be saved, giving cocaine to a 16 year old recovering narcotics addict, but still. Then if she says it was infact consentual make sure she signs a statement with the cops clearing the guy, and then, obviously, dump her.

In the long term it sounds like you're already in rehab and shit, good luck with that. I can only imagine how hard it must be, and this is going to sound even harder, but regardless of the outcome of the events this thread is about if you are moving on with your shit and she isn't (she's 16, and doesn't sound like she is as serious as you as far as quitting), dump her, trust me I have met so many people who could be going places but their partner is dragging them down be it drugs, you knocked up some dumb bitch looking for child support, they're just controlling, whatever. If she is holding you back, cut her loose man.

She wasn't drugged, if she asked the guy for drugs.

Good point.

My above post is basing my opinion on an element of trust. If my girlfriend had a man charged with rape, I would believe her. If I was skeptical, I would pretend I believed her until he was proven either way. It simply seems to be odd that if she had cheated on you, she would have told you.

The simple fact of the matter is that without a way of telling, there should be no reason to panic. Worry will only cloud your judgement either way. Take it easy mate.

Good point.

My above post is basing my opinion on an element of trust. If my girlfriend had a man charged with rape, I would believe her. If I was skeptical, I would pretend I believed her until he was proven either way. It simply seems to be odd that if she had cheated on you, she would have told you.

The simple fact of the matter is that without a way of telling, there should be no reason to panic. Worry will only cloud your judgement either way. Take it easy mate.

He should be panicking that a possibly, nay very likely, innocent man is in prison and having his life ruined on the say so of a teenage junky.

No matter how many times the charges get dropped or he gets found Not Guilty , he 'll wear the jacket for life.

Although he deserves a kicking for being so stupid and sleeping with a drugged up piece of trailer park jail abit trash or for even just being alone with her on drugs in a car.

He should be panicking that a possibly, nay very likely, innocent man is in prison and having his life ruined on the say so of a teenage junky.

No matter how many times the charges get dropped or he gets found Not Guilty , he 'll wear the jacket for life.

Although he deserves a kicking for being so stupid and sleeping with a drugged up piece of trailer park jail abit trash or for even just being alone with her on drugs in a car.

I think the difference between your case and this dudes is. The guy that raped his girlfriend was a known addict.

if she was coked out she probably wanted it and is just too ashamed to tell you

She's 16 mate. It's not gonna last, so don't put up with this shit. Only a tiny, tiny fraction of these relationships with girls so young go anywhere, and after her behaviour, it's pretty clear that this isn't one of them. Avoid the shit mate. Until a girl is mature enough (18 minimum, most cases 21+, some cases never), just stick to fucking them. Anything more just isn't worth your time.

I don't know what the consent laws are in your area but here 16 yr old with a 27 year old is rape even if it's concensual. So technically she could have chosen to have sex with him and called the cops. it would still be considered rape.

True that. I forgot some places in the US still have those kinda laws.

I did it. I dropped that meat in her pocket. But she was beggin for it bro, I didn't take noffin from nobody!

Nonono...

She took drugs herself, then she had sex. Rape is debatable, but it's a series of VERY poor choices. Dumpage.

Okay coming from someone who was raped, it sucks to say this about anyone who claims it but women lie about it all the time and I'll tell you after what happened to me I let no one touch me for 4 years. And I never prossicuted. Stupid but I was 13 and didn't know any better. But I've heard that some women become rather involved in sex.

Honestly here is what I think happened, Money was spent on something small (20 bucks is not a lot in reference to drugs) and she wanted the drugs he says i'll give you the drugs in exchange for sex. She fucks him and the guilt is killing her so when she comes home she sees you and wants the physical connection to you and lets you have a go at her. But then when she's not fucked out of her skull she begins to think what if I get pregenant, what if I have something. She would have to explain it so she comes up with the rape story. Generally women tell the police either right away or not at all. I mean what is the good in waiting a week. All the DNA is gone and he is going to walk because it's become nothing more then he says she says. And if he was dangerous he's going to come back to her.

But say the rape story is real. She is no girlfriend if she was raped and risked the possability to spreading something to you because she wanted to fuck. In my opinion either way she's a lying cunt. Besides, not telling you is a pretty shitty thing to do. And you had to piss clean for probation. That's fucking important to keep you out of jail. For her to spend the money you had told her was for you freedom is fucking selfish.

But you need to drawl your own conclussions on what to do with her. All of us can't feel your pain or take it away. In the end the only thing you can do is what you think is right. Me personally I would dump the bitch for even risking giving me something. For lying. For going behind me back and using. For being selfish. There's so many factors here that just make the situation pretty shitty. It's fucked up.

She probably did get raped. Why wouldn't she just say nothing if she fucked some dude?

Guilt is a normal, but inaccurate feeling in situations like this.

Girls will still want sex after they've been raped (I know a girl who lost her virginity this way, and she still wants sex).

And you'll feel tired for a few days - mentally / emotionally exhausted. Just relax, maybe do something physical and you'll start to feel better.

The fact is: she promised you not to do any drugs, and she broke her promise.

Isn't that enough?

bwahhahahaha stupid druggies, you both got what you deserved. She wasn't even raped, she let him have sex with her, dumbass.

I would have to agree with this, if she was raped wouldnt she tell you before anything happened between you two... I mean who knows what festy shit this guy has in his pants. You should get yourself checked.

I realise because of the age gap it is still considered rape either way but it sounds like shes talking out of her ass.

People have probably mentioned this by now (I didn't bother reading the whole thread), but depending on where you live, a 27 year old having sex with a 16 year old is statutory rape. Ergo, it doesn't matter if it was consensual or not, he would have still been charged with rape.

Therefore, you have several possibilities to consider.

1). She KNOWINGLY cheated on you and is trying to cover it up.

2). She cheated on you and was too high at the time to know it, and is now attempting to cover it up.

3). She really got raped.

Now, your reaction to this situation need not be based on these possibilities. Basically, you need to think of yourself in this situation. By looking at your girl friend's age, I would guess that you are still in your teens. You may feel like you're old now, but you still have your WHOLE life ahead of you. Believe me, I felt the same way, and was proven wrong. This considered, your best move may be to break up with her. If she is going to hold you down (in a narcotics sense) then your best move is to end it.

Think of it, she disobeyed your trust by doing drugs that night in the first place. Now you need to decide what to do.

omg dood i know who did it


http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2091447

There's no telling what actually took place. You can worry and guess and assume, but it doesn't tell you anything.

Either you move past it, as you've moved through so much already, or you need to discuss it in a serious manner.

Whatever else she did, or was done to her, during the night, she betrayed your trust. It's one thing to help her through things, but another to be in a relationship without trust.

She went to his place, got coked up and fucked him. She didn't get off, so she figures he owes her, so she bounces on your rod enough to get off, then calls the cops on him.

Frankly, she sounds pretty hot.

Most likely possibility is that she fucked him for the drugs.

So, in the end, I decided to just forgive and forget, while also drawing a bottom line of things she needs to accomplish for me to stay in her life. We've gone through this process many times before, but I was very clear about leaving her, and she seems ready to start helping me.

For refferance, I'm 18, and my girl is 16, so I'm working all day while she sleeps, then I get off work, and we smoke/drink/fuck/whatever. She's kind of like my own personal Courtney Love, get off work, get stoned, have sex, listen to music, take a shower kind of girl, so it's hard to even think about leaving her over some bullshit drama...

..I just hope she starts pulling her weight, because I'm not trying to be anyone's free-ride for the next sixty years.

..I just hope she starts pulling her weight, because I'm not trying to be anyone's free-ride for the next sixty years.




You poor poor soul. She'll be your downfall. She's the only thing holding you down.

You poor poor soul. She'll be your downfall. She's the only thing holding you down.

^This, I'm afraid.

When I was in grade 10, which was... 4 years ago now? Or 5. Either way. A girl that was a friend of ours, but went to a different school, was raped by the son of a priest. She was a sweet girl and went to the guy's house for bible study, and he put roofies in her Coca-Cola while she was in the bathroom, and when she went under he raped her in every hole that she had.

She passed out halfway through and when she woke up she was in his passenger seat, and they were sitting in a Car Park at Long Jetty, on the Central Coast of NSW. He told her that he loved her, and that if she told anyone it'd break his heart. She was still too out of it to respond, and then he threatened to kill her boyfriend, a friend of mine.

She then went home and had sex with her boyfriend. It was the first time they'd ever had sex, and they were both virgins at sundown that day.

Long story short, that young man wound up with a round from a 410 shotgun in both knees, and his testicles attached to his shoulder with a nail gun, and the word RAPIST cut into his forehead.

Everyone involved in that little event was scared shitless about prison, but it was never even mentioned on the news. He was apparently sent away to a monestary, or something.

As sick as it sounds, I could never look at her the same way again, knowing that he'd had his greasy cock in her. She kissed me on the cheek, once, to thank me for a favour I did for her on another occasion, and even then, 2 years later, I wanted to throw up.

I have no time for rapists. They should all be shot, even the 'reformed' ones.

She's still a sweet girl, and they're still together. But I haven't been able to look at her as the girl she used to be, ever since.

If you two were older, I'd say break the relationship, but stick around to help her until she is clean. But you guys are teenagers. You know very well that when you tell her not to do something, she may just do it out of spite. You could make the most logical, sound argument in the world as to why she should stop, and you know she will ignore everything you said because you are essentially telling her "no" to something she can squeeze some fun out of.

Since you guys are still in the stage of rebellion and uncertainty of ones self, I say cut her out of your life. There is no way this will get better unless her parents get involved and lay the smack down on her. Even then, it still would matter on how she responds. Laying the smack down could lead to her just running away and doing even more stupid shit, again, out of spite.

I had to stop reading when you said she was 16. I am disturbed and sickened that someone can be suffering addiction at such a young age. Furthermore, you're an idiot for letting her go to such a party without your personal supervision.

"Hmmm my girlfriend used to be on blow, and there will be blow at this party, and she said shes clean, and there will probably be a lot of assholes there, and she's underage...... nah I'll let her go. I'm gonna stay here."

Long story short, that young man wound up with a round from a 410 shotgun in both knees, and his testicles attached to his shoulder with a nail gun, and the word RAPIST cut into his forehead.


*nods head in agreement*

OP, you might wanna look in to one of these...

http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f253/dhfirearms/100_1394.jpg

It's a Mossberg 500 "cruiser", kind of like mine. Mine has the M4 style stock, though. I spent about $300 on mine (plus another $100 on a longer barrel for hunting pheasent, but whatever). Anyhow, it's a nice little gun. :) The pistol grip, short barrel, especially when you're hunting. Other shotguns simply aren't as maneuverable in some situations, such as the abandoned warehouse you've just tracked your little "problem" into?


But seriously, rapists need drug out in the street and shot.



As for your girl, quit letting her use you man.

God damn, how broke can you fucking be? You're upset over 20 dollars? Get a fucking job, you don't need to worry about a girlfriend, you need to get your shit straightened out.

And your "girlfriend" sounds like a fucking stupid whore, and didn't get raped. She's making that shit up so you'll concentrate more on that, than the fact that she went out and got coked up with all of your money *chuckles*. Seriously, 20 dollars? Who gives a shit. If someone stole 20 dollars from me, I wouldn't be mad. I just wouldn't talk to them again, and I'd be happy that it only cost me a Jackson to figure out that they're shady scumbags, like your "girlfriend".

EDIT: I just read through page 4, and man, you are such a dumb fucking asshole. She's using you and you don't even care. No wonder you're so upset over 20 bucks, why the FUCK are you supporting her? You're 18, most 18 year olds should only be worried about themselves.

I fucking hate people my age.

Oh and normally I'd never quote Li'l Wayne, but money over bitches man. Ditch her, stack some paper, get a license and a car, and in 6- 8 months you'll be dating a chick with a job and a car too, I promise. If you want someone to pull their own weight, do it yourself, and cut off that ball and chain that's holding you back.

..I just hope she starts pulling her weight, because I'm not trying to be anyone's free-ride for the next sixty years.



Das just sad. Dude, don't do it, just run.

I didn't bother to read your thread, but I know this, every girl claims that they were raped or was almost raped what they're really saying is:
- OMG, I was soo asking for it
- It just happened
- I didn't really like him and if word gets out -- uh, that looser!
- I really liked him then, but that was in the moment and I'm in a long term relationship and I don't want to lose that, ZOMG, rape

If you asked me, if the girl isn't bruised or dead, then it isn't rape. I should know.

Also "I'm in a relationship and really really wanna fuck this other guy, so I'll just do it anyway and tell my boyfriend I was raped."

Also you cant blame alcohol and drugs for your being a whore. A drunk whore is probably a sober whore in denial.