About 10 months ago, I cheated on my girlfriend. I didn't think too much about it until we fell in love about a month later. I no longer talk to that girl and I'm confidant that nobody will find out. It was the most stupid mistake I have made in my life and I completely regret it. I don't want to risk our relationship by telling her, I just can't even imagine how she would handle it. This might sound stupid, but is there any way or method to forget about things? After this long, I still think about it and it bothers me some times...

Time may make it sting less, that's about it. Drugs can make you forget, along with a host of other effects.

Mostly just learn from it and never do it again, comprende?

shock therapy

Trepanation might help, if you know where to look.

dont forget about it, use it as a reason for it to never happen again.
but also, dont ever tell your girl, no matter how bad you feel about it, she will feel worse, no reason to ruin everything over a bad choice/ mistake , call it what you want

You will never forget. It will haunt you for the rest of your life.

But seriously, just tell her? I don't want to sound old fashioned, but in relationships honesty is really the best way to go. I don't care if a guy cheats on me as long as he is upfront about it (and isn't doing it every night, of course). She might be the same, who knows.

She might also dump your ass though.

yeah dude you will not forget, use it to your benefit

If the human mind could forget that easily, the same mistakes woul re-occur for the rest of time.

It may bother you and quite rightly so. You cheated. You shouldn't have the comfort of forgetting about it.

Remember it...Use it...It will make you think "Hmmm...I don't think this is the right thing to do" next time the little head starts trying to get above its station.

I'd say tell her if you want it to continue indefinately. But ask her not to tell anyone. I have girls who hate me because I cheated on a girl they didn't even know, and its four years later. Then again, I don't really care for them, so it works out.


But imagine your wife turning to you and saying "you know, ten years ago, i cheated on you"... I'd be more pissed she didn't trust me enough to tell me than that she did it. You can effectively ignore it after you do this.

http://johngrant.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/my-mob-photo.jpg

JAST FARGATT ABAWT IT

That is, without a doubt, the absolute worst guinea mob impression ever...

It wasn't cheating. You fell in love a month after the other girl, now if you fell in love 1st, then that would be cheating. The only exception to this rule is if you had made a previous promise, not to get involved with other people, because then, it would be as if you need something on the side to keep the relationship going where as she was willing to go on without it.

I don't care if a guy cheats on me as long as he is upfront about it (and isn't doing it every night, of course).



Wish I had a g/f like you.

This is, without a doubt, the worst rationalization I've ever heard.

Do NOT do anything said in this post if you wish to keep your gf.

This is, without a doubt, the worst rationalization I've ever heard.

This is not a rationalization, this is unorthodox fact. And don't think just because it's unorthodox that it isn't fact. An unorthodox fact is just as valid as a common fact.

This is not a rationalization, this is unorthodox fact. And don't think just because it's unorthodox that it isn't fact. An unorthodox fact is just as valid as a common fact.

You're saying that as long as he didn't 'love' her, it's fine. Bullshit. Love or no love, it's a relationship, and there should be responsibility and accountability within it regardless.

You have a very conservative way about looking at relationships, have you ever heard of polygamy, nevermind you probably haven't even heard of a open marriages or non-exclusive relationships. You need to caught up with the times, everyone has turned into a bleeding heart liberal, you have to change with the best of them.

And you've got a very liberal and perhaps naive way of looking at them.

Oh of course I've heard of it, but try convincing your average teen girl, or pretty much any average person into it, or try explaining it away afterwards and expecting acceptance. The only swingers here are 50+, somehow very few people near my generation (i'm 19) that have much relationship experience and any sense or empathy wouldn't try pulling that stuff without making it perfectly clear and ok first.

Were you serious at the time?


I couldnt personally forgive cheating.... but I'm trying to not be biased here.



Do you think this could happen again?


'Cause... you've done it once, you *might* do it again in the future, maybe if you and your girl get to that 'comfortable' point in a relationship where the first spark has gone but you love each other but it's not all new and exciting anymore.


I'd advise against telling her now, for the simple fact that it was ten months ago!
The damage of having lied to her for ten months would be worse than the fact you'd cheated at this point.


Totse wont tell if you dont. Dont let your guilt eat you, if you tell her it will probably hurt her ALOT, and if you did that just to soothe your guilty concience that would suck.


So, no. dont tell her.

Get on with your life and hope the girl you cheated with keeps her goddamn mouth shut.

Howard, you can't justify cheating on someone just because they were not 'in love' at the time. Love or no love, it's a relationship. It is based on trust, and cheating is the worst breach of that trust. Love should not even be a factor.

And you've got a very liberal and perhaps naive way of looking at them.

Oh of course I've heard of it, but try convincing your average teen girl, or pretty much any average person into it, or try explaining it away afterwards and expecting acceptance. The only swingers here are 50+, somehow very few people near my generation (i'm 19) that have much relationship experience and any sense or empathy wouldn't try pulling that stuff without making it perfectly clear and ok first.

I don't know about where you live, but here you don't have to convince girls to accept it, they are the ones trying to convince men to accept that they are in an non-exclusive relationship. Which bring out the crazy jealous boyfriend who try and kill anyone who she is dating at the same time.

To see the light go out in a girls eyes and go cold is a sight you never want to see. Don't tell her, it is the past, focus on right now.

Tell me exactly where in all that would the trust of the relationship be lost, she had no reason to expect him not to be sleeping around, unless if their was a promise not to be sleeping around. If for some reason she expected him not to be sleeping around, then she's probably one of those crazy jealous types, that beats the shit out of your car because she was told by one of her crazy friends that you were cheating on her, even though there was no promise that you would sleep around.

Tell me exactly where in all that would the trust of the relationship be lost, she had no reason to expect him not to be sleeping around, unless if their was a promise not to be sleeping around. If for some reason she expected him not to be sleeping around, then she's probably one of those crazy jealous types, that beats the shit out of your car because she was told by one of her crazy friends that you were cheating on her, even though there was no promise that you would sleep around.

The fuck? The trust would go the minute she finds out you cheated on her. I don't know whether you draft up some kind of contract with your girlfriends, but to me, that one goes without saying.

I sort of imagine a girl walking in on you fucking someone else.

*You never said I couldn't!*

That is, without a doubt, the absolute worst guinea mob impression ever...That was the best mob picture I could find with google images.

I saw it on mad tv, the guy was acting a mafioso, he kept saying "FARGATT ABAWTTT IT"

Twas lulz.

THIS MOTHERFUCKING ONE http://youtube.com/watch?v=WgTUF_7vRMI

Tell me exactly where in all that would the trust of the relationship be lost, she had no reason to expect him not to be sleeping around, unless if their was a promise not to be sleeping around. If for some reason she expected him not to be sleeping around, then she's probably one of those crazy jealous types, that beats the shit out of your car because she was told by one of her crazy friends that you were cheating on her, even though there was no promise that you would sleep around.

Good god, you're an idiot. If you enter into a relationship with anyone, there HAS to be trust, and that generally includes being EXCLUSIVE to the other person, and you're plain childish and immature if you think you can skirt around any of it just saying that no one said you couldn't. It's how relationships work, at least in the real world. Man up, realize the world isn't how you think it is, and grow the fuck up.

The fuck? The trust would go the minute she finds out you cheated on her. I don't know whether you draft up some kind of contract with your girlfriends, but to me, that one goes without saying.

I sort of imagine a girl walking in on you fucking someone else.

*You never said I couldn't!*

It's not cheating, and yes the reason it's not cheating is because she never said you couldn't. If she is upset or disappointed it's not because you slept with someone else, but that she put to much expectation into what would happen, it's not your fault that she expected more, you never told her to expect more, so it's her own fault for expecting more then what was promised,

If a friend brings their car to me and ask me to change his oil, he has no reason to expect me to also change the air filter, even though most people change both at he same time, he only asked for the oil change, not the air filter. I had no reason to expect him to also want the air filter changed.

It's not cheating, and yes the reason it's not cheating is because she never said you couldn't. If she is upset or disappointed it's not because you slept with someone else, but that she put to much expectation into what would happen, it's not your fault that she expected more, you never told her to expect more, so it's her own fault for expecting more then what was promised,

If a friend brings their car to me and ask me to change his oil, he has no reason to expect me to also change the air filter, even though most people change both at he same time, he only asked for the oil change, not the air filter. I had no reason to expect him to also want the air filter changed.

....

Ok, how old are you, and what extreme experience and wisdom do you have with women to be able to justify any of that? Jeebus...

I don't know about where you live, but here you don't have to convince girls to accept it, they are the ones trying to convince men to accept that they are in an non-exclusive relationship. Which bring out the crazy jealous boyfriend who try and kill anyone who she is dating at the same time.

Translated this basically means that you're a dishonest shit who'd quite happily get in a relationship with a girl but carry on fucking as many other girls as you could, knowing that when you got caught you could just say "well you didnt say I couldnt!". Which makes me dislike you a bit.

I like you, but you're a knobhead.

Good god, you're an idiot. If you enter into a relationship with anyone, there HAS to be trust, and that generally includes being EXCLUSIVE to the other person, and you're plain childish and immature if you think you can skirt around any of it just saying that no one said you couldn't. It's how relationships work, at least in the real world. Man up, realize the world isn't how you think it is, and grow the fuck up.

And their is trust, just not trust that you won't be sleeping with other people, as I said before catchup with the times. Most people don't adhere to this conservative view of relationships that you do. Here you aren't exclusive until you say hey we are exclusive now, and the other person has the right to either say cool I'm down with that or, hey I'm not really ready for that kind of a comittment yet, so if you really want this to be exclusive we are going to have to break it off right now.

Ok, so why shouldn't the trust that you won't cheat be included in that too, at all?

....

Ok, how old are you, and what extreme experience and wisdom do you have with women to be able to justify any of that? Jeebus...

I'm 22 but I don't date it's too much trouble trying to keep all this shit straight, I get all this wisdom from unorthodox sense, it's like common sense, except it's harder for people to accept, which is probably why it's so hard for you to accept.

As I said everyone has turned into bleeding heart liberals, we don't adhere to that code anymore.

Translated this basically means that you're a dishonest shit who'd quite happily get in a relationship with a girl but carry on fucking as many other girls as you could, knowing that when you got caught you could just say "well you didnt say I couldnt!". Which makes me dislike you a bit.

I like you, but you're a knobhead.

You know that really hurt me right here *point to heart* I hate that this is the new truth, but I can't change it society has gotten so out of control that if someone is actually looking for an exclusive relationship that you pretty much have to join an amish community, and I really can't live without modern societies technology.

As I said everyone has turned into bleeding heart liberals, we don't adhere to that code anymore.

Who's 'we'?

No wonder it's hard for people to understand if you try to slip it across by lying and trying to explain it away with 'well you never said I couldn't'. Good luck there, though I wouldn't call it wisdom by any stretch.

This has nothing to do with people being "bleeding heart liberals", the vast majority of people simply assume exclusivity is part of the contract once you are officially someone's boyfriend/girlfriend. Just as we assume when you go to work you wont be pissing on the potted plants in the corner, just because no one specifically said you had to use the restrooms.

So, since swingers/open relationships/etc. are in the small minority, they have to specifically let their rules be known, not the other way around, when seeking a relationship.

Who's 'we'?

No wonder it's hard for people to understand if you try to slip it across by lying and trying to explain it away with 'well you never said I couldn't'. Good luck there, though I wouldn't call it wisdom by any stretch.

'WE' as you quoted is the overwelming majority, only about 10% of the people who don't live in a 3rd world country still go by the old code.

'WE' as you quoted is the overwelming majority, only about 10% of the people who don't live in a 3rd world country still go by the old code.

So you fully expect 90% of people out there to perfectly agree with you? Right-o.

God your in Las Vegas, and even you still adhere to the old code. You know what I'm going to go to the pope myself and nominate you for sainthood, cause if a person who lives in the city of sin still adhere to a higher standard of morality then they definiately deserve sainthood. I however don't know how you could say that their is an assumption that you will be exclusive, you should be the best to know that their is never an assumption of being exclusive at the beginning of a relationship. As a matter of fact their is an assumption that it isn't exclusive. and how did you know that when I worked the garden center I was going ahead and pissing in the potted plants, instead of walking all the way through the store to use the bathroom.

*shrug* Alright, go your own way, just don't expect the wild support you think you should get.

I just don't see why you wouldn't hold the highest moral standard (and expect the same) from someone you like, even love, either enough to be in a relationship with.

So you fully expect 90% of people out there to perfectly agree with you? Right-o.

No I don't expect I know, why do I know because they told me, just like a person tells you when they want the relationship to be exclusive, that is the only way you truly know.

No I don't expect I know, why do I know because they told me, just like a person tells you when they want the relationship to be exclusive, that is the only way you truly know.

Refer to my last post. Why you'd try to weasel around morals and higher standards like that, I can't figure out, but alright.

No I don't expect I know, why do I know because they told me, just like a person tells you when they want the relationship to be exclusive, that is the only way you truly know.

I think Hes just playing you guys like Neil Peart plays his drums.

As in, There is no way I could accept this guy as actually believing this, and if it really is what he believes, I've lost all my faith in humanity...Again.

I think Hes just playing you guys like Neil Peart plays his drums.

As in, There is no way I could accept this guy as actually believing this, and if it really is what he believes, I've lost all my faith in humanity...Again.

I lost my faith in any other person ages ago, which is why I'm discussing this at all, shooting for an explanation other than the guy being a jackass.

Oh I would love for it to be that way, but I grew up and learned that that just isn't how it is, I truly am saddened by this, this is what keeps me out of relationships, because I know I couldn't handle it, but people have lost their morality. I would love to meet a girl who thinks a relationship is exclusive from the beginning, but their aren't many left, and the ones that are left have already got married or are in the exclusive relationship, which leaves me all alone with the only thing to comfort me is cheap meaningless porn, and extravagent violent video games.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=WgTUF_7vRMI

Oh I would love for it to be that way, but I grew up and learned that that just isn't how it is, I truly am saddened by this, this is what keeps me out of relationships, because I know I couldn't handle it, but people have lost their morality. I would love to meet a girl who thinks a relationship is exclusive from the beginning, but their aren't many left, and the ones that are left have already got married or are in the exclusive relationship, which leaves me all alone with the only thing to comfort me is cheap meaningless porn, and extravagent violent video games.

Ah, another guy turned sour by some bad experiences with worse women. Carry on.

I just personally wouldn't lead into a relationship with that attitude, I can't stand girls with lower morals myself, so I'd never do it anyone I'm with.

This was hilarious, and you're all whores.

This was hilarious, and you're all whores.

Watch this:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=WgTUF_7vRMI

Ah, another guy turned sour by some bad experiences with worse women. Carry on.

I just personally wouldn't lead into a relationship with that attitude, I can't stand girls with lower morals myself, so I'd never do it anyone I'm with.

I haven't turned sour I know they are still out their, they are just too hard to find, I thought of trying a church to find a good girl, like they say in the coming to america movie, but once you are actually in a church you realize that church goers are the worst people on the planet.

I haven't turned sour I know they are still out their, they are just too hard to find, I thought of trying a church to find a good girl, like they say in the coming to america movie, but once you are actually in a church you realize that church goers are the worst people on the planet.

I'm gonna go ahead, and to my surprise, QFMFT this part, sadly enough.

Successful troll is __________ .

Fill in the blank, S&A.

cut yourself

I decided not to tell her, even on my deathbed. My way at looking at this has changed after all of the helpful posts. I got some good advice. The main reason I'm not going to tell her, is because I love her too much. I can't even imagine cheating on someone else ever again in my entire life. So there's a lesson learned here.