Well, that's how I feel a lot of times. It's not really a physical loneliness per se, but more that I don't connect with anyone. Women are all just meat, men are just tools for personal gain, and I can't seem to shake this mentality. A lot of times, I feel like I'm the only real person and that everyone else is just kind of...scenery. The result is that I'm very, very bored a lot of times. I have interests and hobbies, but when you feel like you're the only real person, things starts to feel futile.

Now, I don't literally think that I'm real and everyone's just in my head or anything like that, but I feel disconnected from everyone. It's like watching a movie. I see all these interactions, but I can't be a part of them. When I go hang out at my friends' house, I see them doing things and bonding and such, and I'm there, but I'm just not responding to anything.

I'd also say I'm a fairly sociable guy. I go out on weekends, I can initiate conversations, and I can hold conversations. But at the same time, I'm usually consciously aware that I don't give a shit about what these various people are saying or doing. Even when I try...I just feel completely unmoved by anything. Honestly, it's weird to use the word "feel", since a lot of times I don't feel anything. Things inside me are just static.

So...1) Does anyone else have this feeling of being alone even when they're surrounded by others?
2) Can it be fixed? Should it be fixed? On one hand, I feel more free than others, but on the other hand...I still feel alone since I don't connect with anyone.

Sometimes I've felt like that, but still I do not feel bad. I hate being surrounded by many people. A cigarette and an active mind is all you need, and probably some girl once in a while I'd say.

I feel exactly the same way. But, because I'm really quite hammered, I can't help you. I sincerely apologize.

I feel like that all the time. I even have a girlfriend that I've been with for over a year, and although I love her, I still feel disconnected, like it could end today and I wouldn't even be that hurt. I honestly don't even care to see my family all that much even though they're a great family and all. I just don't feel attached to anyone at all. I could move on to an entirely new group of people and I wouldn't even care.

this
exatly

this
exatly

Most people threaten to commit suicide out of a complete lack of emotion

Most people threaten to commit suicide out of a complete lack of emotion

ya....

Wow. I'm surprised there are other people that feel this way too.

It's not so much that I'm antisocial, it's just that it seems like most of the other people out there in the world just aren't worth my time or effort.

Well, I think the fact that you love her shows that you are connected and "with it". I don't love anyone aside from family members, and I can't even fathom having a normal girlfriend/wife or loving her.

"Here I was surrounded by my family and my so-called mates and I've never felt so alone. Never in all my puff."

-Trainspotting


yeah dude, life sucks. I hate everyone.

I feel like that all the time. I even have a girlfriend that I've been with for over a year, and although I love her, I still feel disconnected, like it could end today and I wouldn't even be that hurt. I honestly don't even care to see my family all that much even though they're a great family and all. I just don't feel attached to anyone at all. I could move on to an entirely new group of people and I wouldn't even care.this
exatly


http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2089150

You dumb shit.

http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2089150

You dumb shit.
Were you talking to me?

Were you talking to me?

Nope, just failing at quotes. Sorry, you're not dumb shit, I don't think. :)

I'm not in the mood for going in to it right now, but suffice it to say, I do feel the same way, and have for going on 10 years now. Drifting through, going through the motions, never actually connecting to anyone or anything... yep.

Nope, just failing at quotes. Sorry, you're not dumb shit, I don't think. :)Aww, well thanks.:D

But yeah, I'm not eve really sure I love her. Maybe I just need to go back on prozac again, that at least was sort of helping.

Most people threaten to commit suicide out of a complete lack of emotion

most obviuos hint ever...please?

To the guy with the girlfriend, I feel the exact same way. My girl is a good person and can hold conversation and always is interesting in a fun way to have around, but if it all ended right now I don't think I'd even bat an eyebrow.

I feel that none of my friends have interesting qualities and whatever it is I like in them, I could easily find in other people if I was forced to get to know them.

These similar feelings that everyone seems to be describing are a known symptom of depression, but for me there is nothing I care about enough that could trigger a depression. I wasn't always this way but the fact that I am now doesn't bother me.

I feel disconnected all the time. Other people aren't worth my time, but I hang out with them anyway because the alternative is masturbation and, when my cock gets sore, boredom.

Oh, and then you lot.

When I broke up with my ex, my therapist of 7 months described my lack of feeling for anything or anyone as detachment. I was deatched from emotion, from connection, form everything really. I just didn;t give a shit about anything but myself.
It was a calm and peaceful time where I didn't have to worry about other peoples' shit or wants or needs.

I enjoyed my friends' company and had a really good time just not being able to connect with anyone and enjoying myself for what I wanted.

But then she came along....

I was friends with this girl before and we got on like a house on fire.
She unearthed my emotions...Loving, worrying, caring, wanting....

I can't say I'm completely attached to my emotions...I can turn them off whenever I feel like it but when I have her in my mind it's like a flood of love and worry. I worry about her getting home safe when I can't be with her and I love having the thought of just being with her in my head.

Being detached has its advantages, believe me it does. But having the ability to feel something good about someone far surpasses it.
I would rather be attached to my emotions when they make me feel this good...But if I get something bad in my head, detachment helps me work it out logically and fairly until it won't bother the attached mode again.

Try it out man...Try feeling something.

So...1) Does anyone else have this feeling of being alone even when they're surrounded by others?
2) Can it be fixed? Should it be fixed? On one hand, I feel more free than others, but on the other hand...I still feel alone since I don't connect with anyone.

Lol, that's me. I just sit there, not giving a fuck about what anyone else is doing, if I'm in a conversation, I'm just nodding and agreeing, thinking of 101 things I would rather be doing.

Exactly how i felt, let me tell you buddy its hurts alot more than expected

It may be an advanced form of self defence. If you dont feel, how could you ever get hurt?

But, this will probably fail the moment you need it most. Some day you're going to meet some girl and you'll suddenly feel everything. And that's when you'll get hurt.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid_personality_disorder
Sound familiar to anyone?

http://hillsidelending.files.wordpress.com/2007/03/pic_morpheus.jpg

I know *exactly* what you mean. Let me tell you why you're here. You're here because you know something. What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire life, that there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I'm talking about?

All the time. Don't worry about it.

http://hillsidelending.files.wordpress.com/2007/03/pic_morpheus.jpg

Hahaha :D

Nah, actually I feel pretty much the same as the OP from time to time.

I don't really connect to anyone, people are just there and it's interesting to talk to them but at the end of the day I'm still alone. Not necessarily a depressing "feeling" but it gets to me sometimes.

Same here, I have only like one good friend who i connect to and everyone else are just furniture. The word I'd describe my family with is "annoying", i just don't give a shit about them, but they give a shit about me, so they annoy me.

A lot of people notice my not-giving-a-shitness though and stay away from me cause of it. My social life has taken a huge blow cause of it, but i'm not sure i care really. The other day one of my friends called me Hitman. When i asked him why, he said it's cause my eyes say "I don't give a fuck, I'm gonna kill you anyway."

I have noticed though, that when I'm happy then people connect to me a lot better and are more open towards me and vice versa.


Alcohol also helps.

what a collection of horrible people.

Kind of. I feel like I connect to some people, but those people are few and far between.

This sounds reasonable, and I know I actively sought this starting a few years ago. The problem is that I've fallen deeper and deeper, and I'm starting to think I'm past the point where I'll suddenly "feel everything".

Also, to the rest of you: I'm not sure if ALL of you are describing exactly the same thing that I am. Some of you just sound like you're depressed about some particular event. Do you really have this "last person on Earth" feeling (I used that analogy since it's pretty distinct, IMO)? Do you often feel ridiculously bored, even when you're on your own?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid_personality_disorder
Sound familiar to anyone?You do know that totse is 90% attention whores who are now going to go around claiming to have that, right?

Do you often feel ridiculously bored, even when you're on your own? All the time. I may not feel exactly the same about everything else, but this definitely. Even when I have things I need to do, or want to do, I get bored so incredibly easy.

Sometimes I feel like not feeling anything for anyone as well.. right up until the moment I lose them. At least those moments remind me that I actually still do have feelings, it's sad but reassuring.

Basically, I think the problem is not that I don't connect with people because I did connect with some; I think it's more because there are too many posers and too few real people around.

Try reading some good fiction, that might help somewhat.

Basically, I think the problem is not that I don't connect with people because I did connect with some; I think it's more because there are too many posers and too few real people around.


This is where we differ. My feelings/lack thereof has nothing to do with thinking of people as "posers". If anything, I'm the one that has to pose.

Well, that's how I feel a lot of times. It's not really a physical loneliness per se, but more that I don't connect with anyone. Women are all just meat, men are just tools for personal gain, and I can't seem to shake this mentality. A lot of times, I feel like I'm the only real person and that everyone else is just kind of...scenery. The result is that I'm very, very bored a lot of times. I have interests and hobbies, but when you feel like you're the only real person, things starts to feel futile.

Is this a classical case of existential angst?

"The Gaze
Sartre believed that beings possess the power to look at themselves and at another or an object, which is to use one's mind to look at the person in static. This concept of "looking" and the power to look, is referred to as The Gaze. This destroys an object's subjectivity. The thing becomes a "thing in itself" (see Noumenon) or a non-subjective object. Sartre stated that this form of consciousness was used quite often in inter-personal relationships. People place meaning onto what other people think of them rather than what they think of themselves. This process of radically re-aligning this meaning from The Gaze onto one's own being is what leads to periods of so-called "existential angst". -Wiki

This is where we differ. My feelings/lack thereof has nothing to do with thinking of people as "posers". If anything, I'm the one that has to pose.

Well, it's not exactly thinking of them as "posers".. it's more of thinking of them as being too "normal" or something like that. Basically I know that I connect with some people, but I don't connect with most that seem to be all the same. Not sure if that even makes any sense.

Is this a classical case of existential angst?

"The Gaze
Sartre believed that beings possess the power to look at themselves and at another or an object, which is to use one's mind to look at the person in static. This concept of "looking" and the power to look, is referred to as The Gaze. This destroys an object's subjectivity. The thing becomes a "thing in itself" (see Noumenon) or a non-subjective object. Sartre stated that this form of consciousness was used quite often in inter-personal relationships. People place meaning onto what other people think of them rather than what they think of themselves. This process of radically re-aligning this meaning from The Gaze onto one's own being is what leads to periods of so-called "existential angst". -Wiki

The explanation doesn't quite jive with me, but the term "existential angst" does seem somewhat fitting. In particular, the "people place meaning onto what other people of them rather than what they think of themselves" doesn't hold true for me.

Well, it's not exactly thinking of them as "posers".. it's more of thinking of them as being too "normal" or something like that. Basically I know that I connect with some people, but I don't connect with most that seem to be all the same. Not sure if that even makes any sense.

Sounds to me like you can choose who you connect to.

YOU DON'T BELONG HERE!!

Sounds to me like you can choose who you connect to.

YOU DON'T BELONG HERE!!

Haha, wish you were right.

It was long ago.

And I don't really have a choice who I connect with.

Basically, the way it worked for me in the past is when I had to sit through a bunch of boring classes during the day, and I used to pick a spare sit all the time which usually happened to be next to someone who isn't always hanging out with a large group of people and who didn't seem to be/try to be exactly like everyone else. Then we'd be both saying amusing sarcastic one-liners during the class because of some stupid stuff going on at the blackboard and making fun of everyone and everything, and after about a month sort of "connect".

Now I've gone into an environment where I don't "automatically" hang out with anyone/those people are all the kind of people that hang out in large groups and go clubbing and shit which is no fun to me -> thus lack of said "connection" and the feeling that everyone's just "scenery".

Basically that's it.

if i may? Murder/Suicide

if i may? Murder/Suicide

Well done, acolyte. Well done.

Yeah, me too.

The reason I don't interact with others is because there is no like me. I'm completely surrounded by Dr. Phil watching, church-going, iPod raping fucktards.