"So John says that everyone's life goal is to be loved. To love and to be loved by the ones they love. Okay. I get that. But what do we do when we don't think we should love the person we love? What happens then? First, you hate someone. You hear all these stories from your friend. How he's never there. He never makes time for her. All of the things that she tells you makes you not like him even more. Then one day, you figure that it takes too much to hate people. Maybe this boy could be your friend. So you accept him into your circle. Then as a better friend. And you know what friends are like. They send you to weird websites, make the goatse man pop up while you mom is using the computer. You know, the usual. But then you're invited to a party. And some things happen that don't necessarily mean anything, but don't really mean nothing, either. And your friend and he break up. Strained relationships, right? You're trying to mediate, which is especially hard because you feel this monster inside of you. When you're with them together, it roars so loudly, it's hard to ignore. You dismiss this monster as a figment of your imagination or the sense that they shouldn't be friends. But soon, you find yourself talking to him more than you were when they were together. When he gets a new girlfriend, you're angry. You do anything you can to try and keep him off her. You flirt uncontrollably. You talk shit about her, even when you don't know her very well, only through a friend of a friend. You try to make him break up with her. But something happens. You lie to people you once loved, tell them you're going out with friends. And you go out with him. You go to a graveyard, do things you wish you could regret, but don't seem to be remorseful for. And things escalate from there until he asks you that one question you've been waiting for him to ask you, but almost dreading. You say yes, but she's not happy. She asks you to break up with him, and you do it, because that's what friends do, right? Days, weeks pass, and nothing. Until that one blessed moment, while you're toying with the idea of asking him out, despite what his old girlfriend says, and she tells you that you can. Like you needed her to say yes. Like you needed permission. Like she was your mother, finally letting you date when you turned 16. So you start dating him again, and you find that you don't feel the same way as you did when you were single. On one hand, there's the enormous pressure of sex. You want to, you really do, but you don't want to. You figure you really love this boy, but that's a hard thing to believe when you've forsaken love for most of your life. So what do you do? Eh, you wait it out, but then you see signs as if from some supreme being or beings unknown. They don't want that to happen, because every time, something happens that you don't expect, that gets in the way. So you let it slide, and move on to bigger situations. Does her really love you? Part of you, the romantic part, wants you to believe him when he says that he loves you. That when he kisses you, he's really kissing you and not someone else. Someone that people would deem more beautiful. But then there's that nagging voice in the back of your head that tells you that he's lying. That he's just a typical teenage boy. That he's telling you everything, tricking you, just trying to get into your pants. Because he's lost the girl he used to have sex with and he's trying to replace her. While the two sides of your personality fight, you realize that he might just be what you've been missing all this time. No matter his intentions, you have someone. Your friends are great, they love you, but they've been there all along. You have someone who will hold you in their arms and kiss your head just because you're there."





just though id share it

WALL OF WORDS

Also, kinda cool, sounds like a nice chick.

Keep a hold of her...and don't fuck with her head.. *sobs*

Did she mean for you to read this?

Paragraphs, motherfucker, do you use them!?

What is she like 15? She sounds clingy, just stick your penis in her already.
(I base this off the first little bit I read, then I lost my place in that sea of letters)

I think I would run away......Maybe even change my name

*Shivers*

tl dr
pic?

Cannot be arsed to read that.

Is okay, you're safe now.

tl;dr

Paragraphs.

Is it me, or is only the first line about anyone ("John")? The rest seems to be directly from the author. I admit I only skimmed it, but maybe the OP didn't read it either...

Also: NOT YOUR BLOG.

Very exact correctness.

Woah, when did totse turn into myspace?... Hmm i can see ive been away far too long this all seems strange lol.

http://jj.am/gallery/d/33195-1/colinaintreadingallthat.jpg

tell her i said "tl/dr"

http://jj.am/gallery/d/33195-1/colinaintreadingallthat.jpg

Lol.

I dunno, it basically sounds like she'rs really insecure and is debating whether or not she really trusts you. Sounds kinda bad, actually.

Not too badly written, especially for what sounds like a 15 year old. She seems pretty smart. I'd hold on to that.

Please paragraph. Please.

She sounds cool. :)

You still haven't converted to paragraphs ,so I will not be converting my thoughts to words.