Okay, Ive posted about this before, but with the new semester only days away, I want a clear slate.

Ive been drunk-fucking this girl... she's a Christian Methodist. I took her Vcard.

I got a stage five. Virgin. Clinger.

Its dormcest too. Doh! Stage six.

Ive told her off countless times. I treat her like shit, but she's relentless. I guess she thinks Im the best guy that shes ever gonna get. I told her to find other guys, cuz I have found other girls (the truth). This made her cry. She said she didnt wanna be a slut and then called me an Atheist.... not sure how that works. She from Ohio. I suspect inbreeding.

But she's Methodist, a weak point. How can I subtly piss her off? Obviously I could go around saying Jesus is a Hoax, but Im at college, I wanna maintain a good reputation. What are some good, nasty lines to drop when in the presence of this girl that would SERIOUSLY conflict with her beliefs but not piss off the casual bystander?

I may be asking too much.

Methodist are faggots? Or pussies, or a-holes, or fucktards, or w/e else you want?

The problem is that Methodism is a very "plain" and somewhat dull denomination with no heavy rituals. You can't do anything like tell her she can suck the pope / mary's dick because they don't believe in that, and you can't say you wish her family died at Auschwitz because that was the jews and you can't make fun pf her by saying her religion is a bunch of wacky faith healers because methodists don't really do any of that. So basically there is nothing unusual about the methodist church you can use against her. I mean methodists hate gays but that's about it??? I'd say just tell her she has a lose pussy or something.

Have her 'accidentally' walk it while you're fucking another girl. Even better, have her 'accidentally' walk in while you're fucking another guy.

Take up gambling, bet large amounts of money she has and call it investing, talk about it non-stop.

This is actually perfect as it's the only part of christianity that has a big thing about the bookies.

Is she perhaps deaf?
If you've very clearly said "I DONT FIND YOU ATTRACTIVE. I'M MOVING ON. LEAVE ME ALONE" and she still pesters you, she's probably deaf.

But if you havent said that to her, very clearly, well.. maybe it's time you did?



I'd consider moving this to BadIdeas, just because you may get a better variety of interesting ways to get rid of her there?

If her faith and constitution are strong enough, play the atheist card.
Why would she follow someone around who will not abide or agree with her beliefs?

Unless she's one of the "I'm Christian but I'll confess on Sunday for my sins with you every week"

In which case a simple "Look...I'm not interested...Go away" should work.

Have her 'accidentally' walk it while you're fucking another girl.

Damn, I was gonna say that.

Fraid I can't help you. I personally would be fucking thrilled to have some girl all obsessed with me, even though I would feel sorry for her. Just try ignoring her. Pay a friend to ask her out. Give her food poisoning so that she has to stay in bed away from you. Put her in a box and mail her to Abu Dhabi.

Damn, I was gonna say that.

Put her in a box and mail her to Abu Graib.

Fixed!

Send her a Get Well Soon card for her dementia

Are you NOT an atheist?

I won't sugarcoat it for you, this could be bad. Very bad. Ex-virgin clingers can be relentless. If all else fails, you may be required to make her believe you're gay.