Ok, so I have a while to prepare, but here is some background to the problem..

My girlfriend of nearly 8 months has recently got a job in Germany at a law firm, as she is training to be a solicitor (lawyer to you Americans) - now her family are all in Germany too as she has just gone over there for 10 days (she is back on the 31st) - and it's been fucking difficult to say the least, only texting her and the odd call, and I break down in tears as I can't see her. Needless to say, come new year's eve, i'll be happy again as i'll be at hers' - we both love eachother dearly, even if we do have a rather open relationship.

This girl has stuck through thick and thin and even shitstorms (literally) with me. She tried getting me for a good 6 months and I finally had the courage to go over hers after I came out of hospital for a long and complex procedure, which will affect me for the rest of my life, and she seems the only one who actually gives a shit, and we just talk and talk about gossip/crap..and really enjoy it.

So now, back onto the subject, i'm unfortunately in the year below her in college (operation caused me to miss out on a year) so she will be leaving next May.
I have 5 months or so to get my ass together, and study like a motherfucker at college, and needless to say, it's gonna be fucking hard to say the least without her. We meet up in all our frees and just spend quality time together, either at a coffee shop, or lying on the field, cuddling up..so without her, i'll be pretty down..:( and i'm afraid that wihout her i'll start getting back into drugs and my life will end up being a downward spiral, as she is the only thing that has kept me going..and if she does go (well, she will) only my little "plants" will keep me company..you can guess what type - and i'd hate to be readmitted to hospital and be so ill I can barely move, and have her not know about it, and then she'll get worried and tensions will be apparent again.

So S&A, what do I do? shall I stay in the shitty UK and try to get over her come May time? or shall I study my ass off and move to Germany with her? My parents are all for it, but due to my health conditions it could be a bit troublesome (I have crohn's disease and the NHS hate me due to being a prick..no pun..when it comes to surgery) so the German's won't really like it..
I have a little understanding of German too, and have traveled there - always wanting to move there..

so, what would you do in this situation? It is her birthday in February, and I also need really romantic ideas, I was thinking a 2-part-piece jewelery set, as we can both have a half in case we ever don't meet up again

fuck, i'm starting to get all emotional

If it was my girlfriend. I'd bust my ass and move with her asap.

First off, it is an open relationship? Or not anymore?
Anyway, it sounds like she knows what she wants in life, and you're tagging along! Come on man, deep down she will dis-respect you for this. You have to make you're own contribution to the world and do what YOU want.

If you love each other that much, you would figure out a way to be together

You got some more important underlying problems to deal with, like not being able to be away from her for 10 days and using drugs as a coping mechanism.

Right now, worry about your gig at home. Concentrate on school and catching up, academically and health-wise. The next few months will be very telling, as I'm assuming this is the longest you two will have been apart. Some distance will put your head on straight and either make or break the relationship.

Worry about the living arrangements later on, no sense in worrying about it now.

so, what would you do in this situation?

I'd be questioning why she was so quick to leave you behind. Does she have a plan for your relationship? What does she expect you to do? Is she expecting you to follow her, or is she expecting the relationship to simply end? Or does she intend to return after a time and be with you? These are the questions I would ask. You aren't the one who made the decision to leave the country. What exactly was she expecting to happen after she left?

If she has some plan or idea for how you will continue to be together then what is the problem with that plan? And if not, then I would seriously question the commitment of a girlfriend who left the country with no foreseeable way of maintaing a relationship with you at all.

I assume you already know the answers to these questions. If it were me, and we had agreed on some plan for how we would stay together, then I would stick to that unless I couldn't. If she had never put forth any ideas as to how you'll stay together when she left the country then she must not think very much of your relationship and I'd seek companionship elsewhere.

In the name of love son, follow her to Germany.

In your situation, I'd up and leave.
If someone had gone through all of that for me then that is a person I would commit myself to.

Don't get me wrong, I have all my friends and family here, a roof over my head that my dad has graciously given me and he takes no payment from me whatsoever. I got it cooshdy here.
But if a girl who had done so much for me and made me feel as good as she makes you feel, I would be studying German after posting this reply!

I would, however, advise you not to rush your college work too much...Haste makes mess and you don't want to throw all your hard work away because you might have to be away from your girl a little longer.

In a nutshell, work harder but only if graduating at the same time as her with good marks is actually feasible, get an E111 form from the post office and use that for travel insurance (I think you could scam them a bit and say you are only visiting your girlfriend. But don't quote me on that.), pack your shit and bugger off to Deutschland.

Well, if your entire inner structure hangs in the balance, then I really think you should go to Germany. Seems like the best idea.

thanks for the advice guys, have discussed it with her and she's up for me moving with her..was talking to her and telling her about this thread :D

people with crohns disease gross me out. i bet you're both unattractive

too long, didn't read

I have Crohn's, so does one of my sister's, my mum and several auntie's cousin's...

Disease's seem to be all over my family :(

gross

UK sucks anyway.

shitstorms (literally)

Where do you live? Strange weather you have there.

lulz, stop trying to get your post count up, Acolyte