There's this girl. She's unlike any girl I've ever met. She's special to me and we've gone through a lot together, including experiencing our former lovers cheating on us with each other, which was really the bonding experience of a lifetime.

I'm more than in love with her and usually just embarrass myself in front of her because I become EXTREMELY self conscious of everything I do and say and think around her. I can't even think properly around her, really.

Well... I've since found other relationships that I can maintain control over. I feel like myself, I can be charming and funny and think and solve and I don't get nervous or self-conscious. I find that I enjoy these relationships a lot more, even though I never feel like I'm fully in love.

Anyway, she wants to take me out to dinner. We haven't seen each other in several months and before then we've only had brief one or two hour encounters, one of which I passed her on the street while on E. She gave me a kiss and we parted. Ruined my night. Another night I slept at her place and she had to get up early and leave. We didn't talk too much.

Overall, she's been a little bit disappointed in me, in a sense. It's an interesting relationship. We used to be really close and then I started smoking a lot and became distant and since then I haven't enjoyed being around her because I just feel miserable.

Right... so dinner. I'm terrified. I can't look at her without my brain going dead. My heart speeds up and I say stupid shit because I try to impress her. I can't help it. I can't be normal. I have to lie down to talk to her on the phone briefly. I have to think for absurdly long periods of time before responding to text messages. I just don't function properly around her.

I feel safe to assume that she was completely in love with me for a while, but we had both just come out of devastating relationships and neither of us were ready to do anything. She still sees me as that person, but we usually just get frustrated with each other nowadays. I'm not the same person because I cant' stop fucking thinking about what to say to her and shit. It's terrible.



Anyway, if you read everything, I apologize that you had to do that. I'm afraid that if I have dinner with her I'll do what I've been doing for the past six months, feel stupid at the end of the night, frustrate us both, and then come home and go through the same fucking withdrawal (yes, i get withdrawal from her. it's pathetic) i always go through and then I'll detach myself again and continue life happily.

She is a source of misery and I should probably cancel the dinner date, right? Self preservation.

Lol you gon git ræpd.

grow balls? act like you don't give a fuck? move outta cinci?

The fucking problem is that with ANY other girl I genuinely couldn't give a fuck if I tried. I've cared deeply about other girls, but from a very removed and understanding perspective. Almost... an "I get you... and I sort of like it" stance. I just don't understand this girl. I don't understand the effect she has on me, I don't understand how to communicate with her, I don't know what to say or do, but I like her so fucking much.

You should just tell her whats going on in your head.

Tell her that every time you see her you get tongue tied, that your heart speeds up. And say some others, some nice thoughtful ones.

It will either drastically fail, or be a huge success. Depends on what she is like.

What teh buttsecks guy said.
Honesty can be very rewarding at times.

The girl I'm with now...I fell in love with her when I was still with my ex and engaged. But I never told her.
This was May.

November comes around and we got texting and talking and shit...Then we get together.
One night shortly after, I got fucked up (as usual...I think I'm an alcoholic) and told her what I was feeling, which went something like...

"I don't know exactly how you feel about me and us...But that's cool...No, let me finish midget! But I'm going to tell you this now *hic*...I have loved you pretty much since I met you. We have so much in common and senses of humour that compliment each other perfectly, which I love. But there's so much more... You are beautiful, intelligent, loyal and kind. Plus you're the only girl I've met who can make me laugh. I'm used to making everyone laugh but not laughing myself. You made me happy just being my friend but seriously I haven't smiled this much in...Ever, I think. You are what has kept me sane for months and you're what is making me so happy now. I just hope I can do the same for you babe."

Well...I felt a little open and defenseless there...I went out on a limb and shit.
But she threw her arms round me and kissed me...Then told me she loved me.

It's still going well to this day...Well not this day because she's stuck in Poland because of cancelled flights and I'm here being pissed off at not seeing her for nearly two weeks.
Aside from that we're still doing okay.

That's a great story.

I'm done with dinner and it turns out I don't like the girl the way I used to. The things we blow out of proportion. Man oh man.

Seriously just go and talk it over with her. Don't aviod your problems, don't be afriad.

That's a great story.

I'm done with dinner and it turns out I don't like the girl the way I used to. The things we blow out of proportion. Man oh man.

No worries mate...That's happens from time to time.

You got teh sex0rz though right?! :D

No worries mate...That's happens from time to time.

You got teh sex0rz though right?! :D

Elsewhere. For the first time in my life I felt a hundred times more interesting than her. She bored me to death.

I have more respect for you after that story. Good on you for taking some initiative man.

I missed the part where she killed you. Or was that a reference to your other thread

I think she killed him spiritually with boredom.

Believe me it is very possible to feel the life force is being sucked right out of you when a girl is rabbitting on about shit that bores the fuck out of you.