How do you deal with a break up when the person you broke up with did nothing TERRIBLE? No beating, raping, emotional abuse... You just, weren't meant for each other. Your needs weren't being met... Etc. I have only been successful in breaking up when I HATE the person.

I just broke up with my kind of boyfriend of two years. It was a variety of things... Mainly a lack of commitment on his part (hence the "my kind of boyfriend") and us just being in different parts of our lives and wanting different things. It's good we broke up... I haven't felt right about this relationship for a year or so. I think we stayed in mainly for comfort.

It's still hard, though. We have talked everyday (albeit, 90% online) for two years. That is a big chunk out of my life. I'm not sure how I will deal with that.

Also, I don't think I should jump straight into dating or another relationship. I want to be single for awhile and work some shit out... Although, I'm afraid I'll jump to someone for comfort and the nasty cycle will start all over again. Bah.

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone.
At least for a short period. Then enjoy being single for a while. Don't go running around looking for another relationship too soon.

Breaking up with someone is difficult sometimes. Especially if you don't have anything really against the person as you well know.

The feeling will subside.

And single sounds good...I enjoyed being single after a two year relationship...Helped me gain some perspective on things, got to do a load of things I'd been putting off because of my ex, I continued therapy and I'm not an angry person anymore...I just enjoyed it and used the time as best I could to better my situation.

Then I fell in love with a girl who was my friend for about six months, she fell too and now we're happy together.

Life has a funny way of working out for the best as my old man says.

Strangely enough such 'amicable' breakups can be some of the hardest. Both tend to *miss* the other. As you say , you got 'comfortable'. There is often then a nagging quiet feeling that the other is *missing*. Such couples tend to go 'off' and 'on' for months before the final split.

Time.

As with all breakups, its a question of time and very little else.

You would indeed be wise to avoid at least actively seeking a new partner for a bit . Although it tends to happen no matter how 'inactive' you are.

Life has a funny way of working out for the best as my old man says.

I wish more people had this outlook.
+1 to you, sir, for this.

I wish more people had this outlook.
+1 to you, sir, for this.

+1 to you for sharing the outlook. Good show, sir.

I usually dive right into another relationship with someone less amazing.

I'm in a similar situation. :(

We've talked every day since we broke up, but being alone still sucks. :(

SA to ATX = 'bout 70-80 miles?

Time heals all wounds... time wounds all heels.
Not origininal, but I can't seem to remember who to credit for this gem.

And I am tempted to outline the possibilities that I have posted here time and again:

1) a) you stay with the person, eventually get enganged then at some point married

1) b) With or without kids, you wind up getting divorced. Then there is alimony, child support and the attendant fights over custody, child support, visitation, etc...


2) a) You greive until the day you eventually die (it will happen, no one thus far has evaded that one)

2) b) Track her sorry ass down and kill her, because that is what she truly deserves.
2) b) 1) That way you can spend the rest of your life with your new best friend "Bubba" who will 'pleasure' you in ways you have never experienced before.

3) Just get over it. It will not be the easiest thing you have ever done, not by a long shot, but it will the best you can possibly do. Not just for her, but for you as well.

Lies!

Theres nothing wonderful about it.

It's wonderful sometimes. My last ex used to avoid me like the plague when we were going out and now we've broken up we are best friends again, we speak to each other every day and everything is indeed wonderful... and I have found someone much better :)

You're never alone. Of course it's hard; as you said, two years is quite a routine to set aside. However, you can do it. I have complete faith and confidence that you'll manage.

Rather than throwing yourself into a new person, there is the option of throwing yourself into a hobby, cause, or passion. Finding someone new isn't the best solution, but finding something new is often the right fit.

I've broken up in an amicable way many times, though nothing with this span of time involved. A girl that I broke up with was over here this evening, we're still friends. It's simply a matter of liking the person. With something like this, I'd suggest taking a break from each other after breaking up to get used to life without one another; leaving the possibility for friendship open down the road.

Good luck and best wishes. I'm here.

Similar thing happened to me a couple of months ago; we grew different and apart over the last year and were becoming too different people to make it work.

I really, really missed him, he was a big part of my life and i didn'twant to fill the void with some comforting rebound, but being close to him still was upsetting. Instead, I threw myself into every new opportunity I could, college, friends, work, anything, and I came out a generally all around better person. Spending more time with close friends you've neglected feels good, one actually said he gained a lot of respect for me because of how well i dealt with it. Minimal moping and maximum self improvement.

It's better to fill the masses of free time with things you enjoy, rather than sulking over the past. Realising you can be happier without him will help avoid pulling a Miss Havisham and sticky situations such as him crawling back after two months expecting you'll get back with him.. that just ends with a few more months/years of doubt before you go through the same break up all over again.

Work out your "shit" and live for yourself.
Being single is a selfish way to live, but damn is it good.