Okay this is going to be quite long because this has been happening for a while and I was too shy to write it down. I appreciate any input because I don't want to keep going on like this.

Well actually they're not to do with me, but everytime my finance goes to the clubs/strip clubs I get really ... er "worked up".
She is a year older then me so I have to wait another 9 months before I can get in. She goes every other weekend, and while thats not much every time she goes I spend the whole day feeling like shit. I don't know what it is, the fear of her getting with someone else, or the fact the city isn't very safe at night. Even though I know she's a good girl and that she loves me a lot I can't get the thought of another guy out of my head probably because I've had a lot of bad experiences with love. A "friend" of mine is in exactly the same situation, and he hates it aswell (which gives me concellation in the fact that I'm not the only one we both intend to marry them despite this.)

Now when I can I'll go down there and I'll check out if she's okay but I can't do this all the time. I'm scared she's going to get rape/beaten up because a lot of these clubs (and the city) have very bad reputation.

And before anyone says "you should trust her more" etc etc I know I should. I'm just a very paranoid person due to former criminal experiences. And I know if she's attacked or raped I'll be held responsible, and her mom will never forgive me nor will she ever be the same girl.

Anyway to the point. Firstly what do you think I should do? Do you think it's unreasonable to feel this way (I think she thinks I'm hate her friends because she never goes alone).

Do you think it's selfish to ask her to stop going until I turn the legal age? I've given up a lot of things I would be still doing if she wasn't going out with me (hard drugs and graffiti so as to avoid jail/conviction to get a job so as I can support her/children). I don't know what I'm looking for but a fresh perspective would be good. I try to see if from her perspective but if she gets attacked her girlfriend(s) won't save her, and even though I'm willing to kill for her (eg a rapist),
I can't do shit when I'm at home.

Thank you for reading.

Relax.

Have you told her your concerns and fears exactly like you told them to us?

That might be a good idea, just so she knows where you´re coming from.

Hell, you could even show her this page. I don´t think that would be such a bad idea, maybe subtly leave it up on your computer screen for her to find and feel guilty over? Nahhhh, don´t be so devious.

But really, you are worrying too much. I think the clubs are safer than you think they are. If she´s with a group of good girlfriends, you might not believe it, but they really do take care of their own, and if she´s relatively sober, and smart enough to not walk alone in the city at night (ie, take the taxi) then she should be fine.

Another thing, if she loves you, she´s not going to cheat on you - no matter what the setting is. I go to the clubs plenty, and yeah, men do make advances, but a polite rejection and they´re on their way.

Oh. p.s., What city are you in?

Do they actually check for IDs in your city's clubs? Wow.

Where are you that they don't check ID's?

do whatever spider man says
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbtD_y_X3SU

England?

I'm not illegal but I don't look THAT old, yet I have only been asked for an ID once or twice.