2 nights ago I was rather stoned and I was sitting in my room and playing around with the laptop when I decided it was time for some porn. So I slipped in the DVD, went to the bathroom and saw a container with 'body moisturiser' down the side and thought "that'll do." Returned to my room, sat down and got a bit on my hand and off I went. After I finished off I just wiped myself off with a towel from the floor and went to bed.
I woke up the next morning and realised I should have read the label on that moisturising cream. You know how some of them have the shit in it to give you a fake tan? My penis and the palm of my right hand are darker than the rest of my entire fucking body, it's rather noticable too.

This is what my hand looks like currently, top part is the normal colour, bottom is the fake tan stuff
http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a78/EssJay200E/HandTan1.jpg

People, read the labels. This could happen to you.

Hahahaha, that's classic.

Hmmm... just be thankful you didn't use random bath conditioner crap out of desperation.

You only do that one once.

Epic.

Super epic

Once I used this cream that had something along the lines of "skin will feel a slight tingling sensation as it is revitalised. Replace 'slight tingle' with INTENSE FUCKING BURNING and it still isn't close. I did manage to finish off the wank before I ran nearly screaming towards the shower with tears rolling down my face.

you must be one desperate little man

Life gets boring. What can a man do?

It's not as bad as when you use shampoo, and the next morning ALL the skin on your penis goes hard and scaly, and starts peeling.

Scary shit. I thought I had some kind of penis disease.

That's fucking hilarious man, thank you for that!

Nice.

...Nice.

On a side note, eye makeup remover should not be used on the penis.

If you lived in the town I do for as long as I have you'd realise all there is to do is masturbate and get stoned.

That is fucking great

That's amazing.

OP you're a faggot. Of course the underside of your hand is gonna be darker, you took the photo away from the light, its a fucking black hole under there.

Reminds me of a time I picked up a spray tan bottle at eckerd and thought it was purfume. I sprayed that shit on my wrist/arm and it was niggerish in the morning. I ended up shaving some arm hair off.

That's the side of my hand and with adequate(sp?) enough lighting to see the difference. Maybe you need to invest in a good monitor for your computer so you can see?

Pwned by teh f4ke t4n! :D

i used liquid soap to fap once, it hurt like all fuck, i managed to cum though

Reverse nigger hands.

Reverse nigger hands.

I was making jokes like that all day. Funnily enough I've also got reverse nigger dick, 'cause it's small.

The tan's been gone about 2 days now atleast.

harhar essjay you fucking n00b

LOL, that's a good one.

Oh Lawl, thanks for that :D

This is almost as funny as those pics of you from a few years back.

Pure gold.

Uhh, am I the only person who dry faps? I'm not circumcised and everything works okay without lube. That is really funny though, I gotta admit.

That's fucking awesome. Gave me lots of lulz.

I can't believe the lenghts some of you are willing to go to.

Soap? Shampoo? CONDITIONER?!?

Tres funny :D

I dry fap 90% of the time, sometimes you know, theres nothing like the feeling of some lube. Only if I'm in the mood for extra cleanup though. Anyway..


I did the same thing with my sisters fake tan shit, it was in the bathroom and I took it for a whirl. I washed up the hands right after and I had a cool looking penis for a while.

Hehe
Oh god..

Soo, how did you explain away the suspicious fap marks to people?

Also, you really shouldnt just go for whatever random bottle you find in the bathroom.
Hair removal creme,bleach, deep heat, poppers (the liquid type), exfoliant gell with little bits of grit and rocks in... The list is long and painfull!

At least it wasn't begay or icyhot

I normally don't use lube, but if I'm high I take 20 minutes longer than usual, but if I use lube it speeds things up a bit.

Hehe
Oh god..

Soo, how did you explain away the suspicious fap marks to people?

"Have a look at this! Guess what I did?"

LOL

5char

Hehe, you foreskinless people never stop to amuse me.