I hesitate to say love at first sight, because that sounds too perfect.

I opened a long-neglected drawer today to find a picture I had forgotten about.

A while back I traveled to Montreal on vacation... on the last day, at a downtown italian restaurant, I met the most beautiful and simultaneously inaccessible woman ever.

Montreal is full of beautiful women, but this girl was like no other. I should clarify that by "beautiful" I don't just mean physically attractive, I mean absolutely EMOTIONALLY irresistible. This thread is not about me wanting to bone a random girl. Her manner was almost childlike. She was our waitress, and I first saw her as she was skitting from the kitchen to the dining area. She was completely involved in her own little world; one could almost see her thoughts racing to and fro.

It's hard to explain, I don't even know if there's a word for it. She was.... intriguing, like someone you want to get to know. I had this intense connection to her, like I knew her troubles and her doubts and her fears.

She smiled at everyone as though she blamed no-one. I sensed that she was incapable of feeling hatrid, only frustration. I wanted to enter her life and fix it.

And she had a sense of humor too, one that I can't begin to explain. Suffice it to say she could laugh at anything and was not impatient with us (her English was barely useful and our French was non-existent) while we ordered. In fact, she laughed with us. It was the only time in French Canada that I wasn't embarrassed by my inability to speak French.

The encounter was short and bittersweet, because I knew that I would never see her again. She was just another person a thousand miles away from a different culture.

I asked her if I could take her picture... I knew it looked very odd... a random customer who couldn't hide his fascination with his waitress asking her for a picture. She was only slightly surprised, but I think honored. I wondered if the picture would do her justice, and it does.

I know it sounds weird, and it is. I swear, I'm not a pervert that's obsessed with a random.

Maybe you all can fall in love with her too:
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i302/jakeseifert/DSCF1909.jpg

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i302/jakeseifert/DSCF1909.jpg
She's not that hot @_@

She's not that hot @_@

She's -really- not that hot.

OP are you sexually frustrated? she's not that hot; she's just ok ...

I swear, I'm not a pervert that's obsessed with a random.


No, that's exactly what you are.

She's -really- not that hot.

I was trying to be nice. Ok 'she' looks like a dude kinda in her facial features ?_?

She's not that hot @_@

You're completely missing the point.

She's the one that helped me realize what I want in a women... her personality.

I thought you could kind of see what she was like in the picture.

She's pretty cute, but she has really striking eyes... dare I say, bright eyes?!

MAYDAY!

Calling all people who know what I mean.

The fact that she apparently isn't all that attractive and that I still find her irresistible means there has to be something emotionally powerful about her.\

No, that's exactly what you are. Ok I'm obsessed, but I'm not a pervert. In fact, it's not a very physical attraction that I feel.

You're completely missing the point.

She's the one that helped me realize what I want in a women... her personality.

I thought you could kind of see what she was like in the picture.

Translation, she was friendly/flirty with you as all waitresses do to increase their tips. And you decided that you want all women to fit that mold.

Translation, she was friendly/flirty with you as all waitresses do to increase their tips. And you decided that you want all women to fit that mold.

No, she wasn't flirty. I was looking at her as she conversed with her co-workers and interacted with her environment too, she just had an 'aura.'

Somebody here must know what I'm talking about.

I know exactly what the OP means.

What the hell is wrong with you people?

No, she wasn't flirty. I was looking at her as she conversed with her co-workers and interacted with her environment too, she just had an 'aura.'

Somebody here must know what I'm talking about.

Immediate attraction - yes. Love in one night(Not necessarily first sight) - yes.

Using a girl you've known for 10 minutes to set the standard for women to come - no.

You didn't know her. So your mind fills all the blanks in and just assumes she's perfect. You're just idealistic.

And I'll never have a chance with her. She is the standard by which I base all other women, and I think this may have fucked up my other potential relationships.

Up until now I thought potential girlfriends were either/or.... either you wanted to be in a relationship with them, or you don't, and that they would all be pretty much the same if you found someone who was 'acceptable.' I think I judged all others against her and deemed them all unacceptable, when really its different.

My new theory is that potential girlfriends are still hierarchical... that is, some are better than others. You can make a list of potentials that you would like to be in a relationship with from best to worst, and you draw a line where your standards lie.

I had been dividing people into groups instead of listing them, all because of somebody I met for 45 minutes.

ok, now you've lost me

ok, now you've lost me

Basically, deciding which women to go out with can be done in two ways:

1.) Dividing into two groups
2.) Listing them from best prospects to worst

1.) One group is for people you want to pursue, the second is for people you decide you don't want to pursue. Because French Waitress was in the first group, I felt like all of the other people I met couldn't possibly belong in that group. Therefore, I didn't pursue them.

2.) What I should have been doing was mentally listing them from best to worst. French Waitress would have been at the top, of course, but others would have been listed below her. Evaluating prospects, listing them, and then drawing my "standards" line. Above the "standards" line are those I deem fit for pursuing, below are those that aren't worth it.

You're still aiming for the top of the list, but if that's an impossibility you still have others that are around the top too.

Example: You're in a relationship. All of the sudden a new girl comes along that you would rather be dating. According to theory 1 this is an impossibility because according to this theory, all acceptable prospects are of equal value, so there are no more 'desirable' prospects. They are all the same, either worth it or not worth it. Theory 2 accommodates this situation because the new girl is higher on your list, which is why you want her and not your current partner.

Bottomline: French Waitress raised my standards so high that I ignored possible prospects that would have been acceptable. The whole Theory 1/ Theory 2 thing I now realize is only proof of how people list their priorities, and is only slightly related to this thread.

You're an Engineer, aren't you?

Basically, deciding which women to go out with can be done in two ways:

... *a bunch of shit*

Well, is it possible that because you have no interest in other girls now (thanks to the waitress) that other girls will notice that vibe and dig you for it? Like, girls can almost always tell when a guy is single or not, and everyone wants something they can't have.

If this is the case, use this to your advantage.

I know the feeling. I don't know if it was strong lust, but I've felt it over this girl I had math with last year (and eventually became friends with).

We were sat in groups of 3 desks scattered around the room. I was in the back facing forward, and she was in the front left, kinda facing front leftish. I don't know why, but from the moment I saw her, it just felt like I had strong feelings for her. She dresses very modestly, and she's not in the classical way, hot; that being big breasts and big ass. I don't know if it was the modesty that attracted me, it usually is. That, coupled with her gloriously colored hair (reddish-amber color, almost brown but with a hint of blonde and red, but not in streaks) just added to the effect.

I got to know her over the year (mutual friends etc) and everything about her I discovered just was an "oh awesome" thing. Sadly, she was always in a relationship until this year where she was single, but hardcore crushing on my friend, who is one of the nicest good guys I know, who happened to like her back. They've been dating for almost 2 months now and I don't expect a breakup anytime soon, so I'm just left with that "what if" feeling, hoping that they break up, but not hoping as well because my friend is more than likely a better boyfriend than I could be and I wouldn't want either to be hurt.


Sorry about that little rant. It's kinda on topic and I needed to ramble because I'm sure my friends are sick of or dont want to hear it, or I don't want to tell them etc because only a couple people know I even like her like this (the girl's sister apparently guessed it, so she herself might know. Who knows).

Lol I know what you mean, happens with waitresses alot with me too. Like, there's about 1,000 hotter girls you can think of in your mind but none you want to just like........ give it up to. I get it. THE MEEVS!

Technically, no, but I'm going to major in Mechanical Engineering. Why?

Kow: Picture this: You try and get with the girl anyway... she folds and you start fooling around with her on the side... Word gets out that she's cheating, they break up and you and your friend now hate each other. Plus, the fact that she cheated disgusts you and you no longer want to be in a relationship with her. To top it all off, you begin to hate yourself for breaking up a good relationship.

Lesson: don't try and mess with the relationship, it turns out badly for all involved.

Haha, sometimes I feel like I become infatuated with certain girls way too quickly, but at the same time I'm still picky about women.

I could care less for most of the people I meet, but sometimes I meet a girl and just instantly have a crush on her. Of course at the same time I'm trying to convince myself not to, and that its all in my head etc...

More often than I realize they feel the same way, I've just gotten good at convincing myself otherwise.

Kow: Picture this: You try and get with the girl anyway... she folds and you start fooling around with her on the side... Word gets out that she's cheating, they break up and you and your friend now hate each other. Plus, the fact that she cheated disgusts you and you no longer want to be in a relationship with her. To top it all off, you begin to hate yourself for breaking up a good relationship.

Lesson: don't try and mess with the relationship, it turns out badly for all involved.

I know. I don't do that kind of stuff, it sickens me. I've seen so many people I know mess around with someone who's dating someone else, they break up and the two start dating. The girl or guy (who was cheating in the first place) cheats again, and the friend is absolutely devastated. It's happening to my friend's ex right now (who he left my friend FOR this girl... silly guy)

Well, I've kinda sorta broken a friend up with a girl, who we dated for like 6 months and then broke up, but it was more playing with words, it was going downhill anyway, I was just a catalyst, and neither of them knew. I wish I remember how I made it happen though, for informational purposes only, of course.

She's alright at best. But whatever, go for it.

MASTADON!

I can see what this girl is to you..one of those that she does something or looks at u a certain way and immdiately it hits you...

Been there done that, not quite love at first sight, but more like a smack in the face at first sight.

OP, you are absolutely kidding yourself. You know absolutely NOTHING about the essence of this girl......just the "work personna". Add to the fact she works in the SERVICE industry, and there is a damn good chance it is all a facade. Being "nice", or having "charm" is what she is paid to do.....not to mention trying to garnish more/higher tips in the process. For all you know a simple smile could really be her laughing inside.....because she just pulled a blood clot out of her maxi pad and put it in someone's Eggs Benedict.

Now if perhaps you were able to peep into her window and observe her at home, I might buy some of what you are saying. Beyond that, any observations you made about this broad is sketchy at best. Do me a favor, will ya? Don't ever walk into a strip club......I can only imagine the tales you'll tell about the gal looking at you all night.

ROFL , couldn't of said it better myself.

We romanticize women far more than they deserve. She wasn't showing any signs of anger or frustration because that would stop morons like the OP from giving her a 20 dollar tip. I've experienced "immediate attraction " with waitresses/strippers/etc too, until I realized that we're paying for people/women to treat us nice.

Maybe, but if I analyze people as well as I think I do... she was perfect.

I'm not kidding myself into thinking I could ever 'have' her, I'm just reflecting on a good time.

I think once you guys get this feeling, you'll understand.

And stop being so cynical :)

Depending on your age, looks, game, and job, you probably could've had her (if she is single), she's not some kind of supermodel.


And trust me, it's not cynicism, it's reality. I had the same feeling as you when i was at restaurant and the waitress touched my hair and touched my friends shoulder, guess why? Because my friend is a frequent visitor and amazing tipper. You were paying for her affection.

Translation, she was friendly/flirty with you as all waitresses do to increase their tips. And you decided that you want all women to fit that mold.

really,
back when i used to work as a busboy i would flirt with anything that had a vagina, sometimes not even just get a few extra bucks.

shes not that pretty,

stop going nuts over a waiter that once served you.

aw, gross, what the fuck OP?

No, she wasn't flirty. I was looking at her as she conversed with her co-workers and interacted with her environment too, she just had an 'aura.'

Somebody here must know what I'm talking about.

Yes.

Yes my man, I know exactly what you are talking about. You saw her and instantly you knew...she was special. She had that special quality, that unspoken beauty, there is that phermone rich possibility, that instantly engaging ability that she has. Something so unique, that quality where you know if you could just let her know how much you understand her that you two would fall in love.

I know. It happens to me once every few years. Its rare. The potential. Some women are just...the yin to your yang. It hurts.

I saw that picture...I saw what you saw.

Depending on your age, looks, game, and job, you probably could've had her (if she is single), she's not some kind of supermodel.


And trust me, it's not cynicism, it's reality. I had the same feeling as you when i was at restaurant and the waitress touched my hair and touched my friends shoulder, guess why? Because my friend is a frequent visitor and amazing tipper. You were paying for her affection.

Well seeing as how we were in Canada and I live in the Middle of the States...

Yes.

Yes my man, I know exactly what you are talking about. You saw her and instantly you knew...she was special. She had that special quality, that unspoken beauty, there is that phermone rich possibility, that instantly engaging ability that she has. Something so unique, that quality where you know if you could just let her know how much you understand her that you two would fall in love.

I know. It happens to me once every few years. Its rare. The potential. Some women are just...the yin to your yang. It hurts.

I saw that picture...I saw what you saw.
Thank you, I couldn't have said it better myself.

Care to tell us about your experiences?

Well seeing as how we were in Canada and I live in the Middle of the States...


Thank you, I couldn't have said it better myself.

Care to tell us about your experiences?

hmm....

mostly theyve been limited to moments much like yours minus the picture. In unexpected moments where you see a girl and your eyes meet and theres that lighting strike and....then you part...never to meet again, wondering what could have been.

I know/knew a girl who I felt that way with pretty consistently and who was a friend of mine. We talked and shared and were pretty much just buddies for the first year or so that we knew each other. Then we started walking home everyday and then I realized it. I came into a new year realizing how much I liked her but it kind of...staved off with everything else around me. There were other girls I was messing with and thinking about. Then I met another girl who I basically hung out with every day after school and then after much courting and affection...me and her went out. That girl is now my best friend. The other girl ended up living with her boyfriend (a loser) and to this day I wonder if shes ok but I know theres nothing I can do to change her very complicated situation. I last sent her a myspace message months ago simply asking how she was and suggesting a meetup of friends. I havent heard from her.

No regrets though. Thats life for ya.

I know what u mean, but as someone said above, the friendlier they are, the more tip's they get. Now, if circumstances had put you two together for say, an hour to get to know each other, then you may have thought differently.

Remember the age long philosophy - Life's a bitch