where do you go to catch that good man? where are you most comfortable being approached? (what is your chosen environment)

goin on safari..

i dont want to hear from those of you who just go to where the most guys are. i want the picky shit.

Chosen enviroment? Coffee shop, or when either of us is a clerk, and we meet like that.

Specifically, I go to a certain grocery store cause the cashier is hot shit.

I'm picky.... but I haven't found a "decent" guy yet :(
From what my happily married friends tell me though.... I would have to say the internet though.... sad but true.

They come to totse of course.

I don't like being approached by random guys. I think that you should be friends before you have a relationship, and getting hit on randomly doesn't really work into my idea.

Where do you meet these "friends" then?

this is a good point.. just because you meet somebody through your friends doesnt mean that person is better than somebody you meet randomly. maybe its more reliable but you never know how well a person knows another person anyway.

i meet a lot of pretty girls that probably have reservations such as this.. its good to be cautious i suppose, but hopefully it doesnt cost you a slice of life.

Where do you meet these "friends" then?

School.

School.

Boring.

School.

Schoo was a waste of time because all you find are teases. You got to look out side of the box.

Wow.. I find that real odd. Once I'm friends with a girl, as much as I may or may not want to go further with her, I feel that I'd be generally encroaching on what is just harmless friendly flirting if I tried to bring it further.

Wow.. I find that real odd. Once I'm friends with a girl, as much as I may or may not want to go further with her, I feel that I'd be generally encroaching on what is just harmless friendly flirting if I tried to bring it further.

There are at least 3 guys that I'm friends with that I would hook up with if the situation was better... First I had a boyfriend, and now that I'm single, they all have girlfriends. :(

Such is life.

Crack dens and back room of the video rental shop ftw.

I cannot begin to tell you how wrong this seems to me. What about college? How about a school the size of a small town? Does that make a difference in how people can approach you? How does someone approach you to attain your friendship without making it seem like they're coming on to you?

I cannot begin to tell you how wrong this seems to me. What about college? How about a school the size of a small town? Does that make a difference in how people can approach you? How does someone approach you to attain your friendship without making it seem like they're coming on to you?

What do you mean 'what about college?'

I'm not saying that people can't approach me, I'm just saying that unless I know them, it's probably not going to work.

If I'm at the grocery store or something and some random guy comes up to me and asks me for my number, most of the time I'll give it to him, but I won't answer when he calls. I guess it's because I have a hard time trusting people, so if I see that a guy is confident enough to approach random girls, then he's more likely to cheat or something. I think that's the logic behind it... I really don't know, though.

Here's an example: When I first started college, there was a guy in one of my classes that I thought was pretty hot. A year and a half later, I fucking hate him and I'm actually sort of embarassed that I was ever attracted to him. He's an asshole, and his personality was a huge turnoff once I actually got to know him.

One of his friends (I'm using the word 'friend' very loosely here - almost everybody hates this guy, but he has a lot of drinking buddies) wasn't attractive to me when I first met him, but as time passed and I got to know him, he's become more and more attractive to me.

I don't trust first impressions, and I can't/won't trust someone without getting to know them first, on a friendly basis. If I meet a guy and he immediately wants to jump into romanctic/relationship type stuff, that's a turnoff.

I don't think any of that made sense, but whatever, it's how I feel.

Nope, no sense made. Somewhat more understandable though.

What do you mean 'what about college?'

I'm not saying that people can't approach me, I'm just saying that unless I know them, it's probably not going to work.

If I'm at the grocery store or something and some random guy comes up to me and asks me for my number, most of the time I'll give it to him, but I won't answer when he calls. I guess it's because I have a hard time trusting people, so if I see that a guy is confident enough to approach random girls, then he's more likely to cheat or something. I think that's the logic behind it... I really don't know, though.

Here's an example: When I first started college, there was a guy in one of my classes that I thought was pretty hot. A year and a half later, I fucking hate him and I'm actually sort of embarassed that I was ever attracted to him. He's an asshole, and his personality was a huge turnoff once I actually got to know him.

One of his friends (I'm using the word 'friend' very loosely here - almost everybody hates this guy, but he has a lot of drinking buddies) wasn't attractive to me when I first met him, but as time passed and I got to know him, he's become more and more attractive to me.

I don't trust first impressions, and I can't/won't trust someone without getting to know them first, on a friendly basis. If I meet a guy and he immediately wants to jump into romanctic/relationship type stuff, that's a turnoff.

I don't think any of that made sense, but whatever, it's how I feel.

Shut up.

Meh, I tried. :(

Wow, I don't think I've met many decent guys recently.

I don't 'go looking' for decent guys.
I've met some nice ones while clubbing and at parties, surprisingly.
I had always hoped that university would have some, but unfortunately my department is 90% female.
Friends of friends.
Cafes are good.

post.

Here's the million dollar question: Why bother giving your number out at all if you aren't going to answer? If I talk to a girl and am interested in getting to know her, I'll ask for her number. I don't ask if don't want it, and I don't want to waste my time with this if she isn't even going to answer the phone when I call. Are you that afraid of just saying no to someone's face?

Here's the million dollar question: Why bother giving your number out at all if you aren't going to answer? If I talk to a girl and am interested in getting to know her, I'll ask for her number. I don't ask if don't want it, and I don't want to waste my time with this if she isn't even going to answer the phone when I call. Are you that afraid of just saying no to someone's face?

Your last sentence pretty much sums it up. If a guy is being rude or nasty, I have no problem cussing him out. But if a guy is being nice and trying to make conversation, I'd feel like a bitch not giving him my number. Somehow giving him the 'victory' of getting my number makes me less of a bitch in my mind, because I didn't flat out reject him... Or something.

Although I think a lot of it is because of where I'm from, too... In Maryland, guys will ask for your number and not think anything about it. Maybe 1 in 7 (I'm pulling that number out of my ass, but it seems about right) guys will actually call you if you give them your number. Down here, if a guy asks for your number, it's a big deal, I guess, because they pretty much start stalking you once they get it.

My husband and I met in a barnes N nobles. He asked me out on a date and we saw "X-Files Fight the Future."

Does it help if a guy is demonstrative for your attention? Let you see what he can do & what he's all about?

http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?rn=3906861&cl=5508380&ch=4227541&src=news

Women are whores.
They don't want "nice guys' or "decent guys", they want to get their brains fucked out.

That's what I like to hear.

Real answer is this: You can meet a girl in a bar, or buying your lunch. It really doesn't matter where, it's how.

Your last sentence pretty much sums it up. If a guy is being rude or nasty, I have no problem cussing him out. But if a guy is being nice and trying to make conversation, I'd feel like a bitch not giving him my number. Somehow giving him the 'victory' of getting my number makes me less of a bitch in my mind, because I didn't flat out reject him... Or something.

Although I think a lot of it is because of where I'm from, too... In Maryland, guys will ask for your number and not think anything about it. Maybe 1 in 7 (I'm pulling that number out of my ass, but it seems about right) guys will actually call you if you give them your number. Down here, if a guy asks for your number, it's a big deal, I guess, because they pretty much start stalking you once they get it.


You really need to rethink this mindset above. Because all it really is, is GAMEPLAYING....and in turn pushes guys to play their own set of games. Seriously....what exactly do you think a guy is going to conclude after walking away from such a thing? Me? I would just chalk it up to you being a psychotic, moody, dick tease. Is that better than being thought of as a "bitch"????? (I won't even go into the aspect that you rejecting someone's advances is NOT being a bitch, just playing by your idealogy)

Now think for a minute if a legitimate "decent" guy ran into the scenario you just described above on a repetitive basis......meaning other/most women behaved in such a manner. Don't you think at some point he would have a bitter taste towards ALL females, and eventually decide....."fuck it, I'll play games too". Which in turn now turns that "decent" guy into just another asshole? In your own way you are helping/excusing men to become those assholes.

You really need to rethink this mindset above. Because all it really is, is GAMEPLAYING....and in turn pushes guys to play their own set of games. Seriously....what exactly do you think a guy is going to conclude after walking away from such a thing? Me? I would just chalk it up to you being a psychotic, moody, dick tease. Is that better than being thought of as a "bitch"????? (I won't even go into the aspect that you rejecting someone's advances is NOT being a bitch, just playing by your idealogy)

Now think for a minute if a legitimate "decent" guy ran into the scenario you just described above on a repetitive basis......meaning other/most women behaved in such a manner. Don't you think at some point he would have a bitter taste towards ALL females, and eventually decide....."fuck it, I'll play games too". Which in turn now turns that "decent" guy into just another asshole? In your own way you are helping/excusing men to become those assholes.

How am I playing games? If a guy is nice to me and asks for my number, I'll give it to him because I feel bad. Yea, that's probably not the best thing to do because I'm getting his hopes up, but it's better than flat out telling him no and acting like a bitch.

If I gave guys my number and then talked to them and made plans with them and cancelled repeatedly, that would be a totally different thing, but I don't answer. Ever. They get the message.

How am I playing games?

I don't answer. Ever. They get the message.

You give out your number, but you never answer the phone. A game is just anything underhanded, in general.

Do you think that this is somehow less of a rejection? That it's somehow more considerate?

It's rude.

How am I playing games? If a guy is nice to me and asks for my number, I'll give it to him because I feel bad. Yea, that's probably not the best thing to do because I'm getting his hopes up, but it's better than flat out telling him no and acting like a bitch.

If I gave guys my number and then talked to them and made plans with them and cancelled repeatedly, that would be a totally different thing, but I don't answer. Ever. They get the message.

How am I playing games?

Alright, most guys when asking for a # have something else tacked onto that question like......."Can I have your number and maybe some day we could ______?" By you giving him your number is an agreement of sorts, saying....."ok, that would be fun". Up until the time you gave him your number he had ZERO way to communicate/search you out. Now you HAVE given him a way to get a hold of you.....which is an implied interest.

When you are at the mall, and see a booth that offers for window repairs.....do you fill out the application even though you don't own a home? The ONLY people responding (giving out CONTACT info) is those that want to be contacted. Do you go around applying for jobs you have no interest in?

Tellin ya.....this is Gameplaying 101..... nothing more, nothing less. Instead of being TRUTHFUL you are either outright lying, or just manipulating the situation. How hard would it be to say....."Thanks, but I'm not interested"????? And if questioned further you could simply state what you said above in this thread...."I'm not into hooking up with random peeps........". He doesn't have to agree with that reasoning, but at least he'll respect the fact you are being HONEST and not playing a game. And then there is that whole aspect of Karma that will eventually bite you in the ass.

I'm telling ya, in your own way you are turning "decent" men into assholes.....because dealing with this kind of DISHONEST (and yes it IS dishonest) behavior time and time again has to do something to a guy's perspective and future dealings with other women.

If a guy asked for my number and never called, I'd probably rip my hair out waiting.

Even when a boyfriend doesn't call when he says he will, grinds my fuckin gears.

post

For me it's rather depressing if I go to all the trouble of asking a girl out and getting her number and then finding out she wanted nothing to do with me. It's not really a huge deal, but it does sort of fuck up my day when I was looking forward to a date and I find out I got a "pity number." This happened about 2 weeks ago, and it still annoys me because I really was interested in the girl.

Giving out your number and not answering makes you 100x more of a bitch than if you just said "No thanks, I'm not interested" like Guru suggested. Why is it so hard to be honest? I completely respect honesty. But fuck it's been hard not going back to playing stupid immature mindgames like I used to. DaGuru is quite right on that point.

Let's think about this for a moment from a guy's perspective, shall we? If you don't answer when called, and many other women do the same, then what the fuck choice does any guy have but to ask out TONS of girls in the hopes that one will answer? Or fuck doing that, how about just go to parties and get with drunk girls, because at least they'll put out. See the point?

Be honest. Stop playing games. Or don't. It's your choice. For me, I realized what a waste of time it was to play games. However, being honest and open really doesn't attract women. You really do want the mindgame bullshit. Until I can find a girl who doesn't play stupid fucking immature games I'll continue to be single.

Here's another million dollar question: why bother flirting with a guy if you aren't interested in him? You want his attention, but not him? That's rather pathetic isn't it? Or perhaps I'm missing something. In any case, just stop giving your number out if you aren't interested. It sucks.

For me it's rather depressing if I go to all the trouble of asking a girl out and getting her number and then finding out she wanted nothing to do with me. It's not really a huge deal, but it does sort of fuck up my day when I was looking forward to a date and I find out I got a "pity number." This happened about 2 weeks ago, and it still annoys me because I really was interested in the girl.

Giving out your number and not answering makes you 100x more of a bitch than if you just said "No thanks, I'm not interested" like Guru suggested. Why is it so hard to be honest? I completely respect honesty. But fuck it's been hard not going back to playing stupid immature mindgames like I used to. DaGuru is quite right on that point.

Let's think about this for a moment from a guy's perspective, shall we? If you don't answer when called, and many other women do the same, then what the fuck choice does any guy have but to ask out TONS of girls in the hopes that one will answer? Or fuck doing that, how about just go to parties and get with drunk girls, because at least they'll put out. See the point?

Be honest. Stop playing games. Or don't. It's your choice. For me, I realized what a waste of time it was to play games. However, being honest and open really doesn't attract women. You really do want the mindgame bullshit. Until I can find a girl who doesn't play stupid fucking immature games I'll continue to be single.

Here's another million dollar question: why bother flirting with a guy if you aren't interested in him? You want his attention, but not him? That's rather pathetic isn't it? Or perhaps I'm missing something. In any case, just stop giving your number out if you aren't interested. It sucks.

Sigh... I don't play games. If I'm interested in a guy, I'll answer the phone. If I'm not, I won't. How could that possibly be misconstrued as playing games?

I don't flirt, especially with random guys.

Maybe you guys are different, but guys down here are fucking stalkers. Telling a guy 'No' when he asks for your number makes him think you're playing hard to get or something. I don't know why. When I first moved down here, some Jamaican guy started talking to me while I was at work and spent about 10 minutes trying to get my number after I repeatedly said 'no.'

I guess that's another reason I give my number out - it's easier than arguing with someone about whether or not he should get it. One time I was going to the grocery store, and in the parking lot, some guy walked out in front of my car and waved me down. I thought something might be wrong with my car, so I pulled over. Of course, he had nothing useful to say, he just wanted to tell me that he thought I was hot and wanted to know if he could have my number. In situations like that, it's easier just to give a guy my number and move on, rather than having a drawn out conversation that borders on an argument about whether or not he should have my number.

Sigh... I don't play games. If I'm interested in a guy, I'll answer the phone. If I'm not, I won't. How could that possibly be misconstrued as playing games?

I don't flirt, especially with random guys.

Maybe you guys are different, but guys down here are fucking stalkers. Telling a guy 'No' when he asks for your number makes him think you're playing hard to get or something. I don't know why. When I first moved down here, some Jamaican guy started talking to me while I was at work and spent about 10 minutes trying to get my number after I repeatedly said 'no.'


Do you work as a movie critic, visiting cinemas and such? 'Cos I think I've got that incident on film: http://youtube.com/watch?v=m75g_A731q0

Do you work as a movie critic, visiting cinemas and such? 'Cos I think I've got that incident on film: http://youtube.com/watch?v=m75g_A731q0

Haha, that's fucking amazing. It was more like this one, though:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Ejc0pkZ9bHM&feature=related

Haha, that's fucking amazing. It was more like this one, though:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Ejc0pkZ9bHM&feature=related

funny as hell. But look...the worst thing a woman can do to a man is be misleading. That sucks waaaaay more than just being straight out and honest.

funny as hell. But look...the worst thing a woman can do to a man is be misleading. That sucks waaaaay more than just being straight out and honest.

I agree. It's a shitty waste of time and emotions. It's kindof fucked up to rob us of closure.

Sigh... I don't play games. If I'm interested in a guy, I'll answer the phone. If I'm not, I won't. How could that possibly be misconstrued as playing games?

Because you gave him the number in the first place.

I know you're a woman but surely even you can't be *this* dense.

"decent" is waaaaaaaay subjective. to me "decent" is a good looking (again, subjective), well-read, cultured, muso, creative, arty type. to meet those you'd wanna go to indie clubs or a local live gig venue. or parties that local bands are playing at that showcases the "underground" scene. anywhere the college kids are flocking to, really, that doesn't play house/trance/techno/classic rock.

KA POW!

Alright, most guys when asking for a # have something else tacked onto that question like......."Can I have your number and maybe some day we could ______?" By you giving him your number is an agreement of sorts, saying....."ok, that would be fun". Up until the time you gave him your number he had ZERO way to communicate/search you out. Now you HAVE given him a way to get a hold of you.....which is an implied interest.

When you are at the mall, and see a booth that offers for window repairs.....do you fill out the application even though you don't own a home? The ONLY people responding (giving out CONTACT info) is those that want to be contacted. Do you go around applying for jobs you have no interest in?

Tellin ya.....this is Gameplaying 101..... nothing more, nothing less. Instead of being TRUTHFUL you are either outright lying, or just manipulating the situation. How hard would it be to say....."Thanks, but I'm not interested"????? And if questioned further you could simply state what you said above in this thread...."I'm not into hooking up with random peeps........". He doesn't have to agree with that reasoning, but at least he'll respect the fact you are being HONEST and not playing a game. And then there is that whole aspect of Karma that will eventually bite you in the ass.

I'm telling ya, in your own way you are turning "decent" men into assholes.....because dealing with this kind of DISHONEST (and yes it IS dishonest) behavior time and time again has to do something to a guy's perspective and future dealings with other women.
He's right, doing what you're doing hurts way more than if you just simply rejected them in the first place BECAUSE they thought you were interested. Also, do you think these guys just try to call you one time? They probably try at least a few times before realising that you just don't want to talk...And then they feel all embarrassed and resent you PLAYING GAMES with them.

Even if a guy persists, just be firm and polite and he'll eventually go away.

He's right, doing what you're doing hurts way more than if you just simply rejected them in the first place BECAUSE they thought you were interested. Also, do you think these guys just try to call you one time? They probably try at least a few times before realising that you just don't want to talk...And then they feel all embarrassed and resent you PLAYING GAMES with them.

Even if a guy persists, just be firm and polite and he'll eventually go away.

i think she doesnt realize what playing games actually is.
some people do it with out knowing.

ive had girls get at me and i decline them to their face if i dont like them. sadly ive hit on some girls that did that to me too. its better to just tell them you dont want to and walk away. no one said you have too sit there and argue around.

if you xilikeeggs0 give someone your number they will get their hopes up and have you in their mind for days and it will hurt way more than if you cut them off from the beginning


can i have your number?

I'm tired of arguing about this, so this is (probably) going to be my last post here.

As I've said before, guys down here are extremely persistant. If a guy asks me for my number and I say 'no,' they seem to think that 'no' means 'ask me again, I was just messing with you and I really do want to give you my number.' Sadly, it's much like the MadTV skit that someone posted, but without the comedic effect. At that point, I want to get the fuck out of there, so it's easier to say "Fine, here's my number" and walk away than it is to have some guy follow me out to my car or wherever I'm going while still trying to get my number.

If a guy doesn't realize that 'no, you can't have my number' actually means 'no, you can't have my number,' I honestly don't care if I hurt his feelings or get his hopes up. Say what you want, but that's the way it is, and I'm not going to feel bad about it.

i can see where shes coming from with this one.. do us and yourself a favor tho: make them get it. the sooner somebody starts really dealing with it, the sooner that mentality goes away.. or you get raped.. yeah thats no laughing matter.. but seriously get yourself a .22 they wont fuck with that.. was i joking? i dunno..

KA POW!

(seckseewon must be canadian)

You should memorize a standard fake number to give people so that guys call, get some business or something, and get the message.

I used to give out the rejection hotline number, but I haven't memorized the San Antonio one, so I don't anymore.

Actually, I stopped because I gave it to a guy one time, and he was like "Ok, let me call you so you'll have my number, too." I was like "no, just call me whenever you want to hang out or whatever," but he kept trying to call me... It was pretty funny and awkward. I think he knew what the number was, which was why he wanted to call me right there.

How am I playing games? If a guy is nice to me and asks for my number, I'll give it to him because I feel bad. Yea, that's probably not the best thing to do because I'm getting his hopes up, but it's better than flat out telling him no and acting like a bitch.

If I gave guys my number and then talked to them and made plans with them and cancelled repeatedly, that would be a totally different thing, but I don't answer. Ever. They get the message.

How am I playing games?

Don't get a guys hope up. If I'm anything like most guys I'd rather a cold hard rejection than any sort of hope. If I've met a girl I quite like and get her number, I'm sometimes left thinking "Wow, I met a nice girl today, I'll have to take her out". Especially if I think I've made some "magic connection" and that I can take this girl out for coffee and see where it goes.

I know you mean well, but think of it this way. For a lot of guys, summoning the confidence to approach a girl is very difficult, so the one time that it all goes to plan may mean a lot more than the rejections, only for it to blow up in his face. Also, are you gonna pick a guy who isn't confident just because he's "safe" and not likely to cheat on you? I thought most girls craved the confident guy that could take charge and she'd worry more about something go wrong later down the track.

hmm.. yeah i suppose a fake number is more practical than a gun. (edit: this was dark humor but hell..)