i guess i never thought to ask this question.. i'm anti-social.. i don't do things in terms of expanding my social life anymore.. i just run into what i get. so maybe i'm not as much antisocial as i am socially apathetic.. so i guess we'll make it a two-parter. How do women/girls (whatever you wanna be called) feel about those who don't care about hanging out with other people but just you an your beautiful self.

personally i wouldnt give a shit. id go out all the time for a girl because i want to make her happy, but my err.. stake (claim) is only for her. i find that there is a difficulty in females understanding/liking this arrangement.. (unless they have decided to become old bags)

I have been that guy before (though the girlfriend encouraged it)

In my experience it put an unnessicary amount of pressure on my gilrfriend, because not only did she have to be my partner, she also had to be several friends, my family etc. It's alot of responsibility for someone to carry.

You need a couple of good friends, so when shit hits the fan for whatever reason you can spread the load.

Meh I look for guys like you, mainly cause I'm the same way. I really can't maintain a relationship with someone who's more social than I. (probably a personality disorder?)

Edit: What do you mean by "old bags"? Maybe I'm one of them.

Next time give me some warning before you blow my theory to dust :'(

Yea, it's like me. If I had something to do, I would be social, but I hang out with my neighbourhood friends somtimes, but I never hang out with anyone from school.

by old bag i mean a woman who has given up on her beauty and has no standards.. sorry for the vagueness but i decided to throw that in there for fun.

like i said i can date the life of the party.. i just wont give a shit that she is, and shed probably resent that.. i guess it wouldn't work out.. but thats part of what im trying to get at with this thread.

and rabbit i have/had some really good friends.. i just dont really want any more. i wont look for them, but if i chance upon a good person thats great. i prefer to deal with the bad stuff on my own anyway. in her case all id want her to do is remind me about love..

i didnt intend this to be about me.. i just want to know how women feel about men who arent very social..

how about men that arent all that needy..

There's a difference between being socially retarded and just not being a huge extrovert. Personally I'm more of an independent person; I can make friends and be comfortable in social situations, but I'm not driven to be social like a lot of people are, and I'm perfectly alright being on my own. A guy who is like minded- able to be social but leaning more towards independence- is great. But when it's a "you're my girlfriend/best friend/family love me, I need you" kind of thing, it's not so good.

It's generally harder for less social guys to find girls though. Oftentimes girls don't pursue guys, they wait for guys to approach them. But if you're socially apathetic you're really only going to be approach by really outgoing girls: the type who are not likely to be content with you as their sole companion.

Personally, I find less social girls more attractive. Huge social commitments usually means that the person is:

a) A huge extrovert (Slight turn off)
b) One of those girls who is only interested in social status (Nigh on instant turn off)
c) A really nice person (Good thing)

So, thats a 1/3 chance, and I'm not willing to spend a few weeks getting to know someone based on those odds.

thanks for the perspective.. but lets just say for the sake of the argument this guy is not socially retarded.. then it would be all goo right? hed be like you are describing yourself.

i just want a girl i can depend on to be with me every once in a while.. not as a pleasantry but a girl that is willing to take a chance with somebody as you are taking a chance with them. i mean christ thats square one. its needing somebody.. but then if it happens right it turns into needing each other. there is no way around it. thus enters love.

youre getting me wrong with the last part.. i approach women. also i dont expect to be any girls sole companion.. theyll just likely be mine for the most part. id even go with them to whatever they want, as long as they dont expect anything extravagant of me. i have no problem being friendly, i just don't like to compete for attention. worst case id sit around and get fucked up on my own.

I'm just like that. I try to hang out with one of my chick friends. "Hey, lets watch tv together or something" and she's just like, "I'm bored. Lets go into town and wander around K-mart while I make fun with random things I find and you just kinda stand around bored hoping that I bump into you and hug you".

Yeah, I'm kinda weird like that... I don't know why I even bother with her.

My idea of a great time with a girl would be watching a movie, or TV or hell, it'd be awesome if she played video games, together, cuddling if possible.

I'm socially inept at worst. I'm not too great with words, especially when caught off guard. I hate approaching anyone on my behalf, but if it's for someone else, especially a girl, I'm usually not hesitant. I'm generally open and outgoing around girls I don't have feelings for, which sucks, because then they start liking me when I don't like them, and it may or may not look like I like them. I kinda shut down socially around people I like. I become really shy and untalkative.

I'm antisocial, girls like me. No problem. I don't talk a lot, and I am quiet. But girls don't mind.

Girls love me too, but none are attracted to me, if that makes sense.

I'm like the straight gay-guy-friend.

Meh? It doesn't normally matter, but I'd prefer a more sociable guy.

I think the trick is to disguise your introversion as being "mysterious."

Whatever the hell "mysterious" really means...

Make like you murder people for money... ;)

antisocial people are gay

I don't like being the only person a guy hangs out with.

It's too much pressure, knowing that you're the only person in somebody's life when you have other things going on.

I'm a bit introverted, but not exactly by choice. Being pre-med in university, holding down a pt job and volunteering at a hospital sucks up my time. Very rarely do I get a chance to hang out with friends.

Obviously I don't have a gf. Not that I don't want one, I just don't have the time to commit to one.

But I still get looks from pretty girls in class, so if I ever chose to, I'm sure I could find a girl.

*ObZ

It's hard dating a guy who, for any reason at all, has more reason to see you than you have to see him. This can mean that he has less shit to do, that he has fewer friends than you, or just that he makes you a higher priority than you make him, or any number of other things really. Such a disparity, as has already been stated, puts a lot of pressure on the girl. The guy tends not to understand why she isn't there when he wants to see her, while she doesn't understand why he's being so clingy.

I think it has more to do with how people spend their time than with sociality.

I didn't read this thread, so sorry if someone has suggested this already

^ This works in reverse too. It's quite difficult to find a good balance.

I am a skinny nerd. I am 20, unemployed, play World of Warcraft all day, and counterstrike all night. I have like 4 friends, but they're very close ones.

my girlfriend is 20, has about 300 friends, she's a hostess. That means when she goes clubbing the clubs pay her and give her near endless free drinks, why? Because pretty girls have pretty friends, and bringing them all to a club makes the club look good. She's the most social person I've known. When I met her she'd go clubbing 4 times a week. Then she cut it down for me. Now she clubs maybe twice, three times at max.

She's met my friends a few times. I refuse to meet hers. The closest I've come is picking them and her up after a big night.

We never go out together, the most we do is dinner or a movie. We just sit in my room, chill, occasionally drink or smoke pot, watch movies constantly and have sex rather often.

In my eyes it's the perfect relationship. When I feel ready for social interraction she will be crutch into the world. The way I see it, antisocial dudes have a good chance with girls. Just put in 110% effort into one girl...and she's yours, unless you're a freak.

Yeah right, I bet this club slut uses you for a free lightup, cheats on you every day and laughs behind your nerdy back.

antisocial people are gay

You gotta look in the mirror once in a while, DiStOrTiOn: (http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=1965634)

You gotta look in the mirror once in a while, DiStOrTiOn: (http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=1965634)

man that brings back memories

man that brings back memories

I'll bet.

I also find this hard to believe.

Either she's not all you say or you're not exactly as you explained.

I mean, women are the farthest thing from logical, but that just doesn't make sense.

Shit, I think I'm an old bag. Not that I've given up my "beauty" but because I've gotten too comfortable and I know exactly what I want. (But often beat around the bush in getting it. Flirting is fun.)

Anywho, I tend to like guys who are clingy/need me. Just more of a reason to get comfortable, and I don't mind spending a lot of time with a guy who I enjoy.

1-2 mgs Ativan quells the social anxiety.

I took some Loraz (ativan) just for fun, and it makes me *me.*

I think I have some sort of social disfunction. Maybe I'll try the recommended dosage everyday.

you dont sound like the "old bag" i'm talking about.. i'm pretty comfortable too.. i care about my looks but i dont dress them up for every occasion. in fact ill go to parties not having showered in 3 days and in my flannels.

we actually sound similar enough. i like girls that like to be needed. gives me a reason to relax with them and pretend the world is about to end.. giving us occasion to do whatever the hell we feel like.. and i like to be needed enough for a girl to want to come back for it again.

LOL Bull -fucking- shit! If any of that is true then you've got mad money and thats why she's hanging around your loser ass.

I'm a complete and total homebody, and I would like it if my boyfriend was more like that. My favourite thing in the world is to just hang out at home with him, smoke pot, watch TV/play video games/have sex/whatever. Social interactions take too much effort for me. I have a few close friends, and I see them about once a week which is good enough for me.

So basically I prefer less social guys. I guess because I wouldn't really be able to relate to a really social guy.

I wish I could meet women like you...but they're always at home, and short of B&E, it's hard to find them in pubs.

Where does your species congregate?

Well, I do go out occasionally. And I prefer house parties to bars, if that helps...lol