Usually I'd debate on posting this or not, but going by the recent quality/etc. of threads I'm within limits.

I'll try to keep the backstory short, as the rest may be a little long. We're both 19, as much as that may be doubtful sometimes.

GF of 1.5 years, and things have been kinda rough for the last.. 2 months or so, mostly due to my huge schoolwork load (engineering, bah), zero money for anything, roommate not agreeing with her being over 5+ days a week, and her working a lot to the point where we now see each other once or twice a week at best.

With the roommate issue she wants me to 'stick up for her', generally meaning have things back to the way they were (5+ days a week), but by my viewpoint, It's not entirely my place, therefore I can't rule with an iron fist, i have to compromise somehow with the roommate, and I have, she's (roommate) fine with her coming over as long as I inform her beforehand and it's not a every-single-night thing, but this never goes over well with her, and I get a day or so of being accused of not caring, never sticking up for her, etc.

We argue likely a lot more than is healthy... a few times a week, over random things, where I can see a point to it, but can't see why it would mean so much as to argue over it. I know it's a sign of a bigger problem, which I can't spot yet. I'm pretty much passive now if we start to argue, it's stressful, not fun, and neither of us are very happy when it's done, so I say as little as possible if it starts, and try to end it quickly, I don't want to waste time bickering over small things.

Today, I get a call semi-out of the blue, she's back home for the weekend, and I'm in the middle of my exams, I basically get a 'improve or I'll leave' ultimatum, where she doesn't want to be treated like she is anymore, wants me to be more romantic (I've never been a romantic guy, I never think of anything romantic, besides not being able to afford anything (dinner, movies, etc.) though I cook her dinner randomly/etc., but that's about it, dunno why), be nicer to her (she is perfectly right here, I'm usually kinda sarcastic and joke around a lot, I just never see it as damaging as it's never meant that way), etc.

I'll add in some quotes from an msn convo shortly after the call. Sorry to jack/other haters of msn/aol, but it's how a lot of people (badly) communicate.

"(2:43 PM) [GF]: i want this to work i love you
(2:44 PM) [GF]: but i also want to be treated like a princess...a girlfriend not a buddy...if you wanna just be friends thats fine....but yea"

Now before some of you jump on this 'princess' bit, I'll say i can see her point as far as being nicer/etc. to her.

I feel (obviously) very comfortable around her, so I tend to treat her as a very good friend sometimes, who I do happen to love and have awesome sex with sometimes. Noting my unromantic side, I usually don't see a problem with this, and she's never mentioned anything like this before.

So yeah... that's about it right now, I'll update later I suppose. Don't know where it'll go from here, if it ends, it ends, i don't want it to, but if she's not happy then I have little choice.

I don't know how i can change to improve it, if i should, or if it's in vain as she's not exactly happy otherwise anyways (neither of us has been really thrilled lately, we do still enjoy being with each other, though).

All comments/questions/Earth! bits appreciated.

Earth!

Women, can`t live with them, can`t kill them and keep their stuffed body in the closet for sexual purposes..

Why on Earth would you think this might not be within the limits??!

Unless of course she's ginger....

Well she has some scot in her (back like... 6 generations though), but that's it. Brunette.

And i'd consider it outside limits just due to the weakness/etc. of it, not something I like to post usually by personal principle, but with a thread along the lines of 'im too much of a bitch, fix me' it seems alright.

Why don't you go to her place?

I have way too little time, and if I am over there (she's at her uncle's for cheap rent, former pastor) we sleep on seperate floors, by his rules. Exams/massive work have sapped all my free time over almost the last month or so.

Exams/massive work have sapped all my free time over almost the last month or so.

She's aware of this fact?

You've communicated to her that you'd rather it weren't like that, but that it will get better once things slow down?

You need to be more desicive if you think your roomate is correct then you tell her that and own your words she won't argue.

She's aware of this fact?

You've communicated to her that you'd rather it weren't like that, but that it will get better once things slow down?

Of course, but she still finds it stressful not being able to see me a lot, then getting into stupid arguements whenever we do. Problem is it won't slow down for a while (till basically.. april), school rapes all for the rest of the year, not by choice either.

Dunno, a lot of times i get the impression she'd be a lot happier with someone else that fits into her life better right now. Yes, dumb thing to say, and I know she's with me for a reason (that I honestly can't see).

You need to be more desicive if you think your roomate is correct then you tell her that and own your words she won't argue.

I think they both have points, though telling my gf that brings a storm of 'you don't care'/'you don't respect me', usually.

When exams are over, talk it out. Find out what she needs and decide if you can do it.

If you can't ... maybe it is best to let things go.

However, I'm sure that if you both care about each other, then you can come to a compromise.

What sort of things do you joke about? What makes her feel like a buddy, rather than the woman you care about?

Exams finish tomorrow, so that works. We'll both be pretty busy over the xmas break with family and all but I'll see what I can do.

That's the problem I have right now, I can see what she wants, but I don't know if it's something I can do well enough to make her happy.

I joke about just about anything that's not serious/morose/offensive. Never anything offensive about her (may have slipped with one small one about her love of wine), but I guess it gives an impression that I take nothing seriously, ever. Bah.

I suppose my lack of being romantic gives that impression, though I've never before in my life been romantic, I just never think to do anything romantic. I think that maybe cooking a decent dinner/dessert/etc. followed by an hour or two of going down on her/etc. has been about it, and that hardly counts. :\

That's the problem I have right now, I can see what she wants, but I don't know if it's something I can do well enough to make her happy.

Alright, but don't worry about doing it well enough to make her happy. If you're willing to try, then just do your best. It's up to her if you're satisfying her needs. It's the thought that counts, but it has to be expressed.

I have a romantic slant to me, so these things just come to mind and I indulge. When you make supper you can go the extra mile and get a flower to go with it, or find out what a favourite food is for the meal, or light a candle, or go somewhere nice. It's hard to give advice on this sort of thing because it is personal. Most of the women I know can't stand anything that offers up the idea of romance, but that's there problem; just indulge yourself when you think of something that they like or might think is nice. Don't be afraid to look foolish.

Alright, but don't worry about doing it well enough to make her happy. If you're willing to try, then just do your best. It's up to her if you're satisfying her needs. It's the thought that counts, but it has to be expressed.

I have a romantic slant to me, so these things just come to mind and I indulge. When you make supper you can go the extra mile and get a flower to go with it, or find out what a favourite food is for the meal, or light a candle, or go somewhere nice. It's hard to give advice on this sort of thing because it is personal. Most of the women I know can't stand anything that offers up the idea of romance, but that's there problem; just indulge yourself when you think of something that they like or might think is nice. Don't be afraid to look foolish.

I wish I did, but that kinda stuff very, very rarely crosses my mind, sadly, and hasn't for... months. I used to be able to take her out/etc. in the summer, we'd drive/bike/walk to the beach to swim a bit or just hang and watch the sun set, i used to have money for the random small gift (CD's/etc. or something I know she likes a lot), and I suppose some of that was kinda romantic, and I'd give entirely too much to have those days back. :\

I'd say it's hard, especially now, with the little time we have lately, a lot of things turn into just chores/tasks, I think I can remember a few dinners that we had (made together, or I had made) that were cool, and early in the year we made a few trips to Port Stanley (small town like a smaller maritime city), walked on the beach and stuff when there was no one else there, but 99% of that is stuff i can't do now. I'm more or less completely broke and no time for a job because of schoolwork, little or no spare time, also because of school, and a lot of the time we do spend together is rarely spent just as time together, more just getting things done out of necessity.

She's been taking a lot of hours at work (group home for disabled kids) lately because she needs the money, so a lot of times when I do see her she's too tired to do much and wants to rest/sleep.

Sort of like a lot of other things (school, her job, lack of money/time) forced the possibility of much romantic stuff out of my mind, which is why it's missing now. Sucks. We both remember how it was before, and how it is now is more or less just a mockery of it. :\

We both remember how it was before, and how it is now is more or less just a mockery of it. :\

It sounds like you both need a holiday. Maybe a bit of downtime and family fun over Christmas will help.

What's the living situation with your roommate? I mean, if you each have seperate bedrooms and your girlfriend spends most of the time in your bedroom, your roommate has no right to bitch.

If, however, you live in a dorm or something, then it's understandable.

You need a new roommate for a start.
Assuming you're not literally sharing the same room with your roommate, but rather an appartment, it's none of her fucking buisness who you may have coming to visit you and she needs a fucking slap for daring to think that she has a right to controll that. She also sounds jealous.


Generally, talking things through with your girlfriend, even if it wont solve all your problems, will make her know you care, and she'll see just how hard things are for you.
You're both coming to terms with life and it's big, and it's scary, but if you truly want to be together you'll sort things out and get on with it. Good luck.

Somethings seriously fucked with you guys if you can't handle seeing each other only once or twice a week.

Infact, that's my preferred frequency of contact with a girl. keeps things fresher.

It sounds like you both need a holiday. Maybe a bit of downtime and family fun over Christmas will help.

Hope so, but with the way it's doing lately (downhill) I don't know if that would be a good or bad thing (in terms of staying together).

Problem now is that I know it needs to change for us to stay happy and stay together, but I'm at a loss to how to change it, besides not being so much of a joker/etc. around her and small things, there's no way i can bring it back to near how it used to be (durr..), but I'm struggling to find much I can change considering how limited everything is, from time we spend together, what we can do (it's winter, dark early, very cold, so nothing there), and so on.

I suppose I can toss in a nice dinner (as cheap as itll have to be) now and then, though school/etc. has been stressing me a lot lately to the point where it pushes that out of the window entirely.

She's talking to me a bit now (msn), but she's been drinking (wine, few glasses) and I dislike talking to her when she's any amount of drunk, she gets overreactive and very emotional when she drinks, besides that it feels like I'm talking to a different (dumb) person entirely, and that bothers me somehow. I'd like to talk to her about everything at least a little, but somehow this doesn't seem to be a good time. :\

I'd like to talk to her about everything at least a little, but somehow this doesn't seem to be a good time.

It's never a good idea to talk about serious issues while drinking.

Just a thought, but what about a toboggan?

That's a cheap one if there are any local hills. It's an opportunity for some fun together; coffee, or hot chocolate, and a liqueur can be a good drink for that sort of thing.

It's never a good idea to talk about serious issues while drinking.

Just a thought, but what about a toboggan?

That's a cheap one if there are any local hills. It's an opportunity for some fun together; coffee, or hot chocolate, and a liqueur can be a good drink for that sort of thing.

She's learning to snowboard, I'm fairly good at it, we'll hit up the hills if we find time in the next few weeks, did it a few times last year, lunch/hot chocolate in the chalet was cool.

Just had a mini argument I had to jump out of about her drinking. I don't have a problem with it per se, I just don't like to talk about much with her when she drinks, I notice a big difference in how she acts/thinks, doesn't feel like the same person at all, bothers me, but she just thinks that I don't want her drinking period. *sigh* i get the 'I'm 19, i can do what i want and it's my choice' line a lot. Wish she could see my point at all, but no go. She's a massive lightweight, so even one decent drink has an effect on her that I notice, but she started to argue that was well, when I stopped and said I wasn't going to argue with her about nothing right then.

My life, FTL.

Judging by similar situations I've been in you'll probably end up breaking up, and it may be better that way. You both need to realize that your own lives have to come first. Your engineering degree is more important than a girlfriend who will most likely be gone within a few years. Concentrate on your schooling. If she can't respect that you're studying hard and working toward something then get rid of her.

However, it sounds like you're both just tired from hectic lives. Trying to maintain a relationship under those kind of circumstances is just annoying. Life isn't stable enough to have 5+ dates a week when you're having to study/work all the time. So what you should do is just talk to her and tell her your situation. Try to see her once in a while, but don't go crazy by trying to see her every day. It's not worth it, and it will not fix the situation because you'll still be busy with homework and you'll be distracted while you're with her.

What you should do if you want to repair this situation is talk with her and come to some sort of agreement for one date a week. Scrape together a little money for one night a week where you two do something together. Have it be on different days of the week or whatever so that it's not a routine. Make her dinner, rent a movie and eat popcorn, go for a walk somewhere. You can do a lot of relatively inexpensive things and have them be meaningful because you'll be spending time together and communicating.

Anyway, in short: find things to do that aren't stressful. De-stress when you're together, and you'll find things will be better for the both of you. Take stress out of each other's lives rather than injecting more in. Best of luck.

Thanks kai, nice post thar.

That's the problem, instead of being fun/less stressful, we just seem to add more stress to each other's lives now.

I don't know, I neither need nor want this right now, the constant fights and arguments are too much to have to live with. I love the way it used to be, and the hope of some of that returning is probably what keeps me here now.

We used to do the whole dinner+movie/popcorn/etc. thing, until her job has her coming home at 10pm most nights, and working overnight others, so that got cut out about 2 weeks ago now.

It's stressful now because I'm rarely content around her anymore, there's the slight tension of problems/arguments we've had that never really got resolved or fixed. There's been a few moments lately for an hour or 2 where we got along again like before, laughed, cuddled, made dinner, and it was awesome. Somehow, even that got into a minor argument over something I don't even remember anymore, and the moment was gone. :\

This is so far from how it was and how it should be that I'm lost as to what to do at all, but it would hurt me to break up with her, I do love her, but I hate how it's going now, a lot.

Just adding a little...

With the jokes/sarcasm, I'm pretty careful to not offend her, and she laughs about 99% of the time. I suppose I can see it giving a uncaring/only-joker impression a bit, though.

Her job is about a 10 min walk from my place, and I fairly often drop off a bit of food/etc. if she says she needs something, or visit on her breaks, the distance is also why she drops by my place afterwards sometimes (once or twice a week, after 10pm, tired from work, and to wake up at 6:30 and leave). She works every weekend and has for over a month so that cuts that time out nicely.

I read somewhere that love has three stages:
First is the attraction and happy part.
Second is when the two people argue over everything.
Third after the two people have resolved most arguments the relationship becomes stable and remains this way.

This is really a simplified version of what I read, but it seems to make sense. After a while the euphoria wears off, and then you have to establish boundaries and what not. It's stressful arguments all the time. For me this is usually when I end up getting out of relationships. I've never had the time to deal with all of it, and it stresses me out too much. I guess I just don't care enough about keeping a girlfriend to deal with all the arguing and bullshit for months on end.

From what you're posting it sounds like you're well into this arguing stage. Perhaps you'll make it through, perhaps not. Take a look at your life and see what's most important to you. You have to be firm with her and establish boundaries on what you want and what is not acceptable for you. Arguing is healthy to an extent, but not all the time. If you're totally dissatisfied with how you feel when you're with her, then you either need to fix it asap or just give her up. You can't go around all the time miserable and constantly thinking about her and your problems with her. I did this with one girlfriend, and it was a heinous few months that just ended up with us breaking up. Definitely wasn't worth it for me.

I think you should first try to stop the arguments. If that doesn't work then you should really consider ending it. Life is stressful enough without relationship drama thrown in to the mix. I think you should limit the time you see her to once a week. Try this for a couple weeks and see if it helps. If you see each other less then you probably won't argue as much because you'll want the time to be enjoyable. The other upside to this is that you can hopefully get a little less attached and see things more clearly. Having her out of your life for a little while like this can help you understand what it is you actually want. Plus if you try to see each other more you'll just be stressed out more and arguing more, so that's really counterproductive. Just take a few steps back from all of it. Don't let her threaten you with a breakup or anything like that. If she tries to control you with ultimatums then you know it's time to be strong with her or just move on.

It's a really difficult, shitty situation, I'm sure. Just remember that there are lots of women out there, even if it takes a while to find a decent one.

Tell her you're doing the schooling for her, just as much as yourself? If she has a job, why doesn't SHE pay for some dates? She's just as much a part of saving the relationship as you.

Post

Thing is we've been together for a year and a half, went through the first stage, the second (last winter, oddly enough), and the third was from winter till a bit into this fall, where we started arguing again.

Our time apart has been more or less forcefully limited to that 1-2 times a week already, oddly enough it went better before, where we saw each other more often, and I can't explain it. e both do have a few other sources of stress, though it sucks (but makes sense as far as human nature goes) that the relationship ends up suffering for it.

As far as stopping the arguments, that's quite hard sometimes, and they usually escalate and cover a good few of the problems we have at the time. They just depress me now, though, so I give up, admit she's right, and carry on. :\

About the date/money thing... she does offer to pay sometimes, which is kinda cool, even if i do end up feeling a bit bad over it. She has the major, major idea that no, my schoolwork doesn't take that much time, and I could easily and should get a job. Nothing I've said yet can convince her against this, though. She knows how important school is, but at the same time complains if it takes already limited time away from the relationship. :\ Logic I'll never understand.

I know what you mean about not being able to work and do school at the same time. I'm an honors student in my last year of university. This is the first year I've been able to have a job, and it's because I only need 12 credits each semester this year. Working+school is very difficult if you're doing any decent amount of either.

For fixing the situation, I think a strategy might be cutting off her arguments before they get crazy. You know her argument pattern, so just cut it off before it gets out of control. Or on the other hand you could just have an all out argument fest with her and try to resolve everything. Tell her how things are for you, and don't leave any room for her to try to manipulate you or make you feel bad. This might end up badly, though.

Another possible idea I had was tell her you'll see her more in April. Yeah, it's a shitty idea, but it's a possibility. I think I'm pretty much out of ideas on this subject. I'll leave it to others for advice. Best of luck.

For fixing the situation, I think a strategy might be cutting off her arguments before they get crazy. You know her argument pattern, so just cut it off before it gets out of control. Or on the other hand you could just have an all out argument fest with her and try to resolve everything. Tell her how things are for you, and don't leave any room for her to try to manipulate you or make you feel bad. This might end up badly, though.

Another possible idea I had was tell her you'll see her more in April. Yeah, it's a shitty idea, but it's a possibility. I think I'm pretty much out of ideas on this subject. I'll leave it to others for advice. Best of luck.

The mega-arguments is what we used to do, eventually after the bickering finished but was still fresh, one of us would turn it towards improving/eliminating/changing what we agreed needed to be done. Lately it's been so many small arguments that neither of us really knows what the real problem was. A lot of these are just caused by outside stress amplifying small, random things that bother either of us, and blowing them up into fights. Sucks. I'll see what I can do, but it may be better to just wait till everything calms down a little (if we can last that long) to work it out. May be during the xmas break, may be april (which may be too late :\. We'll see.

Thanks for your input, awesome advice in there, I'll sort through and try to put in what i can.

(2:44 PM) [GF]: but i also want to be treated like a princess...a girlfriend not a buddy...if you wanna just be friends thats fine....but yea"

Now before some of you jump on this 'princess' bit, I'll say i can see her point as far as being nicer/etc. to her.

No.
If she flat out says she wants to be treated like a princess to you, that's where I would draw the line.
Do you tell her you want to be treated like a prince? Fuck no. That shit is ridiculous.

i get the 'I'm 19, i can do what i want and it's my choice' line a lot.

Again, major power whore showing through here. They say alcohol tends to bring out the truth in people.

Eh, I guess I just put up with a lot less bullshit than most people are willing to.

No.
If she flat out says she wants to be treated like a princess to you, that's where I would draw the line.
Do you tell her you want to be treated like a prince? Fuck no. That shit is ridiculous.



Again, major power whore showing through here. They say alcohol tends to bring out the truth in people.

Eh, I guess I just put up with a lot less bullshit than most people are willing to.

The princess bit got a WTF reaction from me at first, but i looked into what she meant by it. Meh.

The 'im 19, etc.' bit does annoy me, won't lie.

The snowboarding is excellent fun, but that's something that you'd plan out and discuss, right?

The idea of something spontaneous and fun like a toboggan is just a fun thing out of nowhere. I guess that a part of 'romance' is surprising people; it doesn't have to be something big, just something. Throw the planning and concerns to the wind and let the hard feelings and worries drift away for a while.

Just go have some fun.

she sounds like a needy bitch.

me me me me me

Man you're at college you don't have time for that shit. Put her in her place.

True, there's be at least a day or so ahead where boarding/etc. stuff would be planned. If the best I can do without planning/etc. with the time we have is a walk/hot chocolate/something else small then it'll have to do, so be it, I'll see how it goes.

she sounds like a needy bitch.

me me me me me

Man you're at college you don't have time for that shit. Put her in her place.

Yeah... whenever she gets moody like this, that goes out of the window, she's pretty understanding otherwise.

Late-ish last night, she called, we talked a little bit, started to escalate into small arguments again, but I wasn't on the phone for that, so I stopped those as soon as they started. She did raise some good points, things I couldn't put any good points or reasons of my own against and some problems we have. It's not working quite so well right now, things need to drastically change if we want to stay together, I don't know how or if they can change fast enough, or at all.

Then fuck it.

Is your roommate female? The problem here is obviously both of these:

a) Your roommate is jealous.
b) Your girlfriend is jealous.

As to your solution, you should give her an ultimatum:

"I love you and I'll do anything for you, but sometimes you're being unreasonable. I barely have money to buy books, how do you expect me to buy you ridiculous shit? You need to start being less stuck up or I'm breaking up with you!"

That should either make her say "Holy shit, I'm sorry for being such a cunt" or it'll make her leave, in which case she was a cunt and there's better chicks to find.

EITHER WAY, WHEN ARE WE GETTING DRUNK?!?!? I have the booze, but the weather isn't great for driving up to london right now. A few days good for you, or you wanna make plans for the distant future?

Earth!

FIRE!

Roommate is female, fairly good looking, but zero sexual attraction to her. GF is jealous there, though without reason, past maybe me seeing roommate more often than I do her some weeks.

It'll have to be semi-distant future, I ship back home (ok, train) tomorrow morn for about 3 weeks, anytime after that is more or less alright.

Roommate is female, fairly good looking, but zero sexual attraction to her. GF is jealous there, though without reason, past maybe me seeing roommate more often than I do her some weeks.

It'll have to be semi-distant future, I ship back home (ok, train) tomorrow morn for about 3 weeks, anytime after that is more or less alright.

Ok, i'll look you up.

And I really think there's female jealousy at play here, even if you can't see it with your logical male brain.

If you give your girlfriend the ultimatum, it'll show you're not falling for her bullshit, rather than having to dig you way out of the hole she made for you. Think of it as a car salesman. She starts off with a ridiculous price, you retort with an even more ridiculous price, and you meet somewhere in the middle, as close as possible to what you wanted.

PS. Don't take my advice, I'm really really drunk.

I don't have much to comment on, but definitely don't give her an ultimatum, it makes you look pathetic and needy.

No, it makes him look like he doesn't give a shit. It's better to say "are you going to behave, or am I going to have to start screwing someone else?"

No, it makes him look like he doesn't give a shit. It's better to say "are you going to behave, or am I going to have to start screwing someone else?"

If he didn't care then he wouldn't say anything, he'd just dump her. Ultimatums put the power in the other person's hands, effectively giving this girl the decision-making authority. Whatever she decides goes. So, it does make you look pathetic unless it's done properly.

Doesn't really matter either way, though. I still think he should break up with her.

Doesn't really matter either way, though. I still think he should break up with her.

It's been on that edge for about a week now.

The most recent fights have been over 2 things...

First, since I have a roommate, and the policy is to ask the other person if our significant other could stay the night or come over, to keep it fair. Also, we decided on a 3-4 night a week limit for sleepovers, for the same reason, also to keep each other sane. Makes sense to me, but I get accused of having 'no balls' (her words) over this, as well as my roommate being evil (because having my gf over 5 nights a week got annoying eventually), and that i 'never stick up for [her]'. She's never had a roommate, so I guess she can't relate or understand it like, but jeebus.

The second is random, pretty crappy, and pretty dumb (IMO). The plan was for us to move in together next year. The following summer, i expected to go home, save $1500 of bills and rent so I could afford to live the next year, etc. but apparently this isn't fair, that I can't 'pick and choose when [I] want to love with [her]' and it's not fair for me to leave in the summer. Doesn't make any sense to me, but so far we can't talk reasonably about this at all, it turns into accusations and guilt, every time.

Just doesn't feel like she listens to my points or positions with either of these, at all, it's stressful and frustrating.

So yeah... as it sounds, right now I'm not very happy. I'm thinking about just ending it, neither of us is happy anymore and I fail to think of anything really positive in the relationship right now, and that kills me. I love (going by the 19 year old's definition of it, at least) this girl, and I don't want to lose her like this, but I don't want to keep going like this.

Orange, I'm reading your post and I believe a breakup is inevitable.....possibly sooner than later. While I don't think she is using you in any way per se, I also don't blame you or think you've failed her either. Basically the 2 of you are going day after day....keep on keepin on. And something has lit a fire under her ass. She is getting ancy for whatever reason.

Perhaps an older sister just got engaged. Maybe a high school friend has a rich boyfriend, or older boyfriend able to give her a sexier/more glamorous life....and she is witnessing all of that. Or there could even be guys she is around either at school or work that are hitting on her, she is seeing other opportunities. Not saying she is already cheating on you, but her interest is piqued. Maybe some guy in a Beemer asking her to go to a concert or something.

The whole thing is she is heavily scrutinizing her scenario. Women don't do that unless the scenario is bad/unhealthy (like being abused, beaten, cheated on, with an addict).....or else they envision greener grass on the other side of the fence. As you said, there isn't much you really can do to alter your current life situation. So you shouldn't put too much effort into making any "changes" when any changes would be so subtle it wouldn't have the profound affect it may take to "keep" her. At this point the whole thing sounds like more work than fun anyhow.....do you really want to keep her?

This could be just one of those relationships in life that ends where nobody is truly "wrong". Chalk it up to being in different phases of life, lack of compatibility, not on the same road, whatever. But don't bend over backwards just to please her or keep her around. You just keep being you and let the chips fall where they may. And when springtime rolls around if you are single.....think of all that horny, fresh, strange pussy that you'll have to play around with!!! : )

It's over.

I dunno, it's been a year and a half, it's when someone is so much part of your life you never really never thing of having to cut them out completely like this. Hurts a lot, not gonna lie, and I didn't want it to end like this. Even the timing is bad, besides being the holidays and all, and as I have some of her stuff at my place, where I won't be for the next 3 weeks so I'll have to pick all that out when I get back and give it back then, so this is gonna drag out for a little while at least. Even with everything that's happened and how it was, a good part of me wants her back, suppose I will for a while, the gnawing feeling that you could've worked it out is always there, I've found. When times were good, they were awesome, I started to miss those a while ago so I suppose that won't change as much as it would otherwise.

Group hug, totse? No? How bout for $5?

If it's over, make sure you don't get back together when you go to give her stuff back. Seriously, it happens more than you think. If we go get drunk one day, I'll hook you up with some western chicks.

Haha I can nab the western chicks easily enough, might not feel so up for it for a little while though.

It's only been a few days, but I'm realizing how much of my life she was in, how often I think about her or something, and how much things have to change now.

As much as I would want her back right now, I know the problems wouldn't go away magically, nor would I suddenly have a way of fixing anything.

Okay, here's £5. Can I have a hug now?


Here's to hoping things get better for you, and you find both a more supportive girlfriend and a less selfish roommate.

That's like $20 Canadian, you get 2 hugs for that. Ok, it's $10, but still. *hugs yoyo a few times*

Thank you, I dunno if I'll bother with trying to get another gf for now, certainly won't plan for it till school is done, or thereabouts, as much as life never goes according to plan, but hey.

As far as the roommate, I'm stuck with her till school ends (end of april), though we get along pretty well otherwise.

It's weird, I end up catching myself entirely too often thinking about something involving her/what she'd think/getting to see her, followed by an 'oh... oh yeah...' And beers of various kinda have been making up about 90% of my liquids intake for the last few days. *turns and hugs brewers of Czech and german beers and pilsners"

Still haven't told anyone outside of totse, and 2 people have hopped by facebook (shoot me, 99% of students are on it here) and caught on eventually, so I'm more or less quieter than usual, but no questions from other friends/family so far. Looking forward to snowboarding soon, maybe that'll help a bit.

Chin up.

It doesn't always work and there's always another person out there. You've got time to focus on your priorities and a couple of weeks to have some fun; it never hurts to get things out of your system and there's no better remedy than time.

Have some fun.

Going out with some friends tomorrow/tomorrow night, I think as far from alone and sulking/thinking too much as I can get, the better.

Kinda just sucks a bit thinking that I'll still have to see her, for however long, after the break, to get my stuff and give hers back, don't know how I'll be doing by then, or what seeing her so soon after is gonna do to me, as I'll have a lot more of that alone time I fear after the break, but we'll see.

Going out with some friends tomorrow/tomorrow night, I think as far from alone and sulking/thinking too much as I can get, the better.

Let them know what's going on and where your headspace is sitting. Have a fun night and start getting used to the idea of being single again. The break will help.

Let them know what's going on and where your headspace is sitting. Have a fun night and start getting used to the idea of being single again. The break will help.

A few of my close friends already know, and those who don't (that I'll be out with) are the kind who wouldn't really care much as far as picking up girls/nights out/etc. Suppose that's kinda a good thing really, if I wanna get my mind off of things.

I've had a few days without much to do, so I ended up going over a lot in my head, and there's hardly a thing I can think of that won't change or be affected somehow, it's a bit overwhelming really. Expect a lot of totse vists/posts (not neccesarily about myself, but this place is awesome to put things into perspective and divert my attention for a while), at least for a few weeks.

A few of my close friends already know, and those who don't (that I'll be out with) are the kind who wouldn't really care much as far as picking up girls/nights out/etc. Suppose that's kinda a good thing really, if I wanna get my mind off of things.

I've had a few days without much to do, so I ended up going over a lot in my head, and there's hardly a thing I can think of that won't change or be affected somehow, it's a bit overwhelming really. Expect a lot of totse vists/posts (not neccesarily about myself, but this place is awesome to put things into perspective and divert my attention for a while), at least for a few weeks.
Don't drown yourself in menial pussy just to get over her. Find something better than pussy, like snowboarding, hockey, etc. It's a lot better to focus on things that don't remind you of your ex.

Don't drown yourself in menial pussy just to get over her. Find something better than pussy, like snowboarding, hockey, etc. It's a lot better to focus on things that don't remind you of your ex.

Eh not that I planned to pick up all I can when I'm out, more just the experience and freedom to do what I want with no real limits or other concerns to worry about. Snowboarding is something I'm massively looking forward to soon, mostly just hitting a few of the more secluded resorts/hills first thing in the morning, before anyone else (notably asians hitting things way beyond their limit with too much speed and zero consideration to others), with some fresh snow on the ground (before the sno-cats (groomers) get out), and some fav songs on my ipod is awesome, it's still fairly alone, but mind-clearing and all 'round one of my favorite times of the year. Everything disappears for a few hours, with 10 people on the whole resort for the first hour of the day *daydreams for a bit*.

Yeah, anything that overly reminds me of her, I'm trying to avoid now, it's tough, but c'est la vie. When can you come up to london in jan, ryko?

Eh not that I planned to pick up all I can when I'm out, more just the experience and freedom to do what I want with no real limits or other concerns to worry about. Snowboarding is something I'm massively looking forward to soon, mostly just hitting a few of the more secluded resorts/hills first thing in the morning, before anyone else (notably asians hitting things way beyond their limit with too much speed and zero consideration to others), with some fresh snow on the ground (before the sno-cats (groomers) get out), and some fav songs on my ipod is awesome, it's still fairly alone, but mind-clearing and all 'round one of my favorite times of the year. Everything disappears for a few hours, with 10 people on the whole resort for the first hour of the day *daydreams for a bit*.

Yeah, anything that overly reminds me of her, I'm trying to avoid now, it's tough, but c'est la vie. When can you come up to london in jan, ryko?

I'll try and make it whenever you get back. I'm back from montreal on the 6th I think, so I'll probably make an appearance in school on the 7th and 8th and then dip for the week. I'll be there from the 9th onward.

The thing about freedom is that you can pick up pussy anytime. You can't snowboard listening to your face tracks anytime. As long as you are single you will have the freedom to have as much sex as you want. You will not enjoy the freedom of the slopes when you're back in your little apartment. So enjoy it now, and if you find a nice jungle bunny, don't hold back, but make sure you're enjoying yourself first and foremost, and then only focus on pleasing others (and by that I mean pleasing girls sexually :))

Do you enjoy to smoke weed by the way?

I'll try and make it whenever you get back. I'm back from montreal on the 6th I think, so I'll probably make an appearance in school on the 7th and 8th and then dip for the week. I'll be there from the 9th onward.

The thing about freedom is that you can pick up pussy anytime. You can't snowboard listening to your face tracks anytime. As long as you are single you will have the freedom to have as much sex as you want. You will not enjoy the freedom of the slopes when you're back in your little apartment. So enjoy it now, and if you find a nice jungle bunny, don't hold back, but make sure you're enjoying yourself first and foremost, and then only focus on pleasing others (and by that I mean pleasing girls sexually :))

Do you enjoy to smoke weed by the way?

True enough, I'll try to pack in all I can on the break here, and put some focus/etc. on random fun when I'm back in town. Well, whatever I can do to re-build myself some meanwhile, I'll try and do.

And why yes, I do enjoy it randomly, though as long as it's decent quality stuff.

True enough, I'll try to pack in all I can on the break here, and put some focus/etc. on random fun when I'm back in town. Well, whatever I can do to re-build myself some meanwhile, I'll try and do.

And why yes, I do enjoy it randomly, though as long as it's decent quality stuff.

I have some Afghani Cush that I was thinking about bringing if you're into smoking, it's one of the highest quality cess you can find. The only problem is it kills you motivation for the next couple of hours. I smoked yesterday and all I did for 6 hours was make sandwiches and watch Tom and Jerry.

I have some Afghani Cush that I was thinking about bringing if you're into smoking, it's one of the highest quality cess you can find. The only problem is it kills you motivation for the next couple of hours. I smoked yesterday and all I did for 6 hours was make sandwiches and watch Tom and Jerry.

Sounds good, if you've got any left by then. Weed usually picks me up for a few hours, i end up doing a lot of stuff, but it mostly does involve food/restaurants and random projects.

Sounds good, if you've got any left by then. Weed usually picks me up for a few hours, i end up doing a lot of stuff, but it mostly does involve food/restaurants and random projects.

I also went skating yesterday while I was high. It ended with me ruining a perfect chance with the hot ice marshal. She was all into me before, but though I was kind of weird when I told her that one of the guys on the ice was a pedophile and/or serial killer, and if she thought the kids on the ice were in danger I'd gladly kick his ass.

She gave me a pat on the head like I was 12 and skated off.

Drugs are ruining my life :(

But taking more drugs makes me forget they're ruining my life :)

I'm gonna go to bed now. It's 4:30 and I'm tired of today's failures.

Do fun things and take moderate drugs?

But..uh, avoide mirtazapine. Mirtazapine makes even talented artists produce complete shite:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v225/raveyoyo/4card.jpg

Kindergarten art project made by the Special Ed. class?

My thoughts exactly.

Stay away from mind warping drugs.

Thanks for the tips guys.

Well, my night out was cut short, one of my friends ended up puking a lot and passing out, had to cart his ass home, we decided to call it a night around 11:15or so.

So far, anyone who knows, either doesn't care, or I don't want to talk to, and anyone I would usually talk to doesn't know yet, I don't plan on breaking the news anytime soon, either, it's easier.

Bit of a slope I'm on, few days all but inside my own head, with 3-4 hours of sleep per night (exam schedule that stayed with me, bed at 4-5, up at 8-9).

In a bit of a bad mood now, so sorry if this is a little on the downward side.

I know I shouldn't have, but I did talk to her (msn) for a few minutes. She talked like nothing had happened, and we'd never been together. Went out with friends, etc. and seemed to be doing alright, and I wish her all the best.

Apparently drank quite a bit, not that it's any of my business, but it hurts a bit as far as her distancing herself from me/etc. Long story.

Kinda does suck on my end, I know I'm thinking too much on it but can't help it. Days/night alone in my own head is hardly a happy or nice place to be, and increasingly less so.

Goddamn do I ever hate this.

She's being apathetic when talking to you. She doesn't want to give you the satisfaction of seeing her anger.

Stereotypical female behaviour. Just mimic it and forget about her.

She's being apathetic when talking to you. She doesn't want to give you the satisfaction of seeing her anger.

Stereotypical female behaviour. Just mimic it and forget about her.

Yeah I know, but it's sadly pretty damn effective right now. I'm gonna have a chat with Von Heineken for a while, I think.

Edit: Out of heineken, forgot. Ladies and gentlemen, my diet for the night. Excuse the cell pic.

http://img509.imageshack.us/img509/1985/spa0174tl8.jpg

Yeah I know, but it's sadly pretty damn effective right now. I'm gonna have a chat with Von Heineken for a while, I think.

Edit: Out of heineken, forgot. Ladies and gentlemen, my diet for the night. Excuse the cell pic.

http://img509.imageshack.us/img509/1985/spa0174tl8.jpg

I say fuck the disarono. Just murder a couple of bottles of wine on the wall. After a litre or three you'll be puking your guts out and totally forget about the ex.

Eh... wine is usually pretty brutal for me, and those aren't mine, no dice.

She did drink a lot, no idea how she got home, but driving wouldn't be out of character, though I won't assume here.

Just one note before I head off to try and sleep, sorry to make this my blog, but it's my thread, so screw you.

As much as it hurts to think of it and admit it, she was more right than she though when she said we were different people. I'm gonna continue to be insecure and a bastard about her drinking, because it ticks me off, or worries me for some reason, or both. Someone who spends a lot of their time thinking of the future/home/kids might want to think of being a bit more responsible now, instead of getting irresponsibly and carelessly trashed every time they drink, and not causing a fight anytime I brought anything about it up, but i digress. That part won't change anytime, it's part of who I am, and I can't ignore it.

She's gonna keep being insecure about my roommate/uni girls, at least until school is done, and I can't change that. Her logic will never make sense to me at all, but that I can accept.

I do miss her, even now, and it sucks to think that this is indeed it, and it can't work because of this, but here we are. We had the same problems (not cause, but same idea) last year, and we do now, and they haven't left.

I'll see where my slightly drunken trains of thought lead me after this, but for now Jack Johnson songs are still gonna stab at me, I'll still lose some sleep over it, and I think it'll be a good long while until I can face this without clenching my jaw at least a little bit.

Earth!

wind.

wind.

Fool, you messed up the order, and that's dead anyways.

Thought about it a bit more last night and this morning and yeah, it basically means writing off the last 1.5 years, and a little more, as just a learning experience, and nothing more, nothing to really show for it either.

Fool, you messed up the order, and that's dead anyways.

Thought about it a bit more last night and this morning and yeah, it basically means writing off the last 1.5 years, and a little more, as just a learning experience, and nothing more, nothing to really show for it either.

It's like rent. You pay 700 a month and what do you get at the end? Nothing. But at least you had a place to live for a couple of months.

Same thing with relationships. What do you get at the end? Nothing, but at least you had some good sex regularly.