So I was at my second evar proper house party, and it was a fucking nice one.
Cool people, good music, lots of liqour, and cigarrs (omfg does I = gangzta nows?)

Anyhoo, so Im walking around talking to people, I see a black haired chick stumble up a flight stairs like wounded moose.
I was like lol?
So I introduced myself and small talked, then I excused myself to go find adventure, to which she replied with the ultra smooth "well...you've got adventure right here" *spread arms and point to cleavage.

So I took her upstairs and we found a bed and started making out.
And godfuckingdamnit, she must've been way drunker than i thought, she sucked ass, and not like in a cool literal way, but as in she was an incompetent fool.

But still, the makeout got heavier and groping ensued, and then she started writhing and what not, you know, dry humping.

And then she starts fucking seriously humping me man!!!
So I crack up and push her off me, but she is so out of it she clings to my leg like a fukn horny chiuaha and humps the shit out it as if it were my dick.

I feel cheap and used, fucking hell, my leg got laid, well, fucked rather.

Just sharing, feel free to do the same.

hahahahahaha

you did the right thing though.

lol at her humping your leg.

one time some dumb drunk bitch nearly broke my fucking teeth trying to kiss me

they are more dangerous than they seem

Yeah, there was teethclacking
Its not cool okay!
Dont clack my teeth bitch!

My asshole friends who know her wont tell me if she was hot, cuz I cant remember...

That's why girls shave their Hairy?

So they don't seem

So darn scary

Then

While you're thinking with your Rocket?

They can easily pick your pocket.

^^ Art.

Uh? SO let me guess you were too pussy to pull the trigger?

So you didnt fuck her?
It was probably smart. No doubt the girl would wake up the next day embarassed about the drunken slut she'd been and squeel rape.

You crazy?

Of course I didn't fuck her, she was passed out at the end of it.
Ive seen people go down that road, its nasty.

On the subject of parties, haha, I suck.
I was talking to another girl, some cute rocker.
And my friend came by to give me a kiss (he's a dude)
So when he left I explained to her the concept of gay chicken.

I told her its like when you go in for a kiss, *like this* and the first one to pull away loses. And then I kept talking about like piirates.

My drunk ass never caught the fact that she was leaning in for a kiss, until 20mins later when I was taking a piss.

I scared the shit out of the people outside when I went like "FUUUUUURRRRRRRRRKKKKK!!!!!"

This is the reason why I don't like drinking.

You should have at least busted in her mouth - that way you have fun and she can't scream rape cos when she wakes up and doesn't remember a thing she'll only have an unpleasant aftertaste which will probably be washed away when she goes to vomit from all the hooch!

I recently saw an article about a study that showed alcohol is the most common 'rape drug'. In the UK the police said that they'd never found GHB (I don't recall any mention of Rohypnol) in a victim's blood.

The sexual assaults & alch go together hand & hand. And a lot of wouldn't be born & here...if it weren't for the rum 'n coke? :p

ps...You almost got raped old Bean!

Haha, yet most of the time they are both drunk and therefore the girl seems to be very into it but when she wakes up she regrets what a slut she was the night before and exercises her fucking right to call the guy she just fucked a rapist! DON'T GO FOR IT IF SHE'S DRUNKER THAN YOU!!

DON'T GO FOR IT IF SHE'S DRUNKER THAN YOU!!

Good advice thar.

Yeah Im kinda feeling dirty, she was way to drunk.

You want her to be twinkle-in-the-eyes drunk, not faling-over-humping-your-leg drunk

I had a drunk girl touch my tonsils with her tongue once, I nearly threw up:(

But dude? That li'l lady coulda been your baby-moma! Or at least ended up callin' you the father of her kid...no matter who actually sired it. (as if she'd know) :)

LOL. the first time I ate out a girl I was trashed and I kept trying not to laugh because I picture myself as such a loser, and I was actually doing it lol.

Hahahah I had a party at my house and there was these 2 reallly drunk girls still there after I kicked almost all the guys an some girls out.

So I walk in my room and my buddy has her panties off with her skirt hiked up passed out on top of her. So i'm fucking hammered and I just kick him off of her onto the floor and went at it. She wasn't passed out but she was FUCKING hammered and she was like "come here" and was the sloppiest kisser ever. So I just didn't kiss her. I had whiskey dick though couldn't even finish.

I did on the other girl though while my 3rd buddy was fucking the one I just finished.

Well my buddy passed out on my bed with the first girl so I just went to the couch an passed out.

I woke up with the girl sitting accross from me staring at me i'm like WTF?? And shes like uhhhg what happened last night and we're all just like ohhhhh you came here fucking hammered so we just let you fall asleep on the bed. HAhahahahahahahhaahaahha. She's like awwww you guys are so nice thanks. I stole her purse too. :)