A poster has asked me to post this anonymously for them, this is not my own situation, but a question asked by a poster. I'd like to make that clear.

Here we go:

"My new best friend is a girl, we spend a lot of whatever little free
time together, it's only early on but people are starting to talk,
when they do it in front of us neither of us correct them saying that
we are just friends or anything. It's strange, she gets guys
slobbering over her all the time and flicks them off, she's told me
that I'm genuine and that has pleased me no end because the one thing
that I hate more than anything is having someone think I'm not.

She checks to she how I am and how my day was just about daily, if not
daily. This time of year is beautiful here, with shops and parks and
gardens all lit up and decorated. She's asked me to come look at them
with her next week.

Now for my questions

- Would you say we are 'unofficially' together? I haven't held her
hand, kissed her or anything like that. I DO have her phone number and
have walked her home after a night out.

- I'm thinking of having a present for her for after checking out the
displays next week. Just a little something I got awhile ago for
someone special.

Do you think I have a chance? The answer may be clear as crystal to
you but it isn't for me. She is my best friend, I don't want to put
her in a uncomfortable situation but I am falling for her and want to
know.

Thank you."

No, you're not together. However, it would seem that you're not, not together either. If she's ignoring other guys in favor of you, it's a definite sign of something more than platonic friendship.

I say go for it, but for (insert deity here)'s sake, be careful. You do not want to fuck this up. Oh, she'll be forgiving of a minor fuckup, but you'll feel like an ass for a very long time. And you don't want to sour a sweet memory with that.

As for how to broach the subject, I'm no help. That's where I always do the damage myself.

My standard advice in this situation is to wait for a good moment (ie when you two are alone and close) and ask her out. Say something alone the lines of "would like to go out with me to the Sad Fat Linux Losers Convention, you know a proper girlfriend/boyfriend thing?".

Keep it as low pressure as you can.

If she hesitates or says 'no' then quickly lean over a plant a kiss on her forehead and tell her its ok and it changes nothing, that you're happy just to love her like a sister too.

Quite a few steady girlfriends Ive had started with us simply chatting or meeting through friends, then becoming friendly and eventually growing closer.

There was never much work put into it, though... it always just sorta happened.

Actually, apart from my current girlfriend and one other, I never even asked any of them out as such... we just sort of knew. There never seemed a need to confirm it blatantly.

So play it by ear, see what happens.

Nope, I wouldn't consider you together, but you're well on the path to it, if not just on the doorstep.

I've been in your situation a few times, without fully realizing it, gotta say it's some of my biggest (relationship-related) regrets so far. :\

Give her the present and then try to kiss her. When I say try to kiss her, I mean say openly you want to kiss her, or are trying hard not to.

If she rejects you, I would say you aren't together. If you get to kiss her, then I would consider you together.

Just shag her and see where it goes.

I feel really bad about it, but every time I see you post, Conor, I feel like having a low dig about things you have mentioned here before...

I guess I am a lowly, simple being at heart.

What about?

Questioning the oul 'uality?
Cumming in 30 seconds?
Having dry spells?

Dig at me on msn fool! :P

???

Whats up with CarbonB actually giving good advice and normal responses and such? Whoa....vexing. :)

Shes proabably feeling the same way. Loves a fragile thing. If you guys decide you like each other and would like to be with each other then remember to communicate your feelings openly and try to not make a big deal about it with your friends. If they ask just say "yeah, were together". No biggie. I wish you best of luck talking to her.

OH! and... pix or it didnt happen.

Just kiss her and you'll know. ;)

Good advice.


You could always run the old classic, "You've got something in your hair" and lean in close to her and grab "something" out of the side of her hair close to her face. Judging by her reaction you'll know whether she's into a kiss or not. But, in saying that. You're probably better off just going for the kiss like Carbon said. At least then, you know for sure.

I mean, can you really hang out with a girl you're into if she doesn't want to date anyway? It'd suck if she hooked up with someone.

???

Whats up with CarbonB actually giving good advice and normal responses and such? Whoa....vexing. :)

Shes proabably feeling the same way. Loves a fragile thing. If you guys decide you like each other and would like to be with each other then remember to communicate your feelings openly and try to not make a big deal about it with your friends. If they ask just say "yeah, were together". No biggie. I wish you best of luck talking to her.

OH! and... pix or it didnt happen.

Lol, I can't always let the blind lead the blind!

Good advice.


You could always run the old classic, "You've got something in your hair" and lean in close to her and grab "something" out of the side of her hair close to her face. Judging by her reaction you'll know whether she's into a kiss or not. But, in saying that. You're probably better off just going for the kiss like Carbon said. At least then, you know for sure.

I mean, can you really hang out with a girl you're into if she doesn't want to date anyway? It'd suck if she hooked up with someone.

EXACTLY! If she was to hook up with someone while you are over here falling in love. Then it is going to be pretty detrimental to your forward progress. Which is why most everyone is saying to kiss her :P

Before shagging there must be boozing.