I'm considering posting a personal ad online, and would like some input. Anyone telling me that it's desperate and pathetic can stow it. I was honestly surprised to find myself considering it.

This is what I have. Any suggestions appreciated. And yes, I know it rambles a bit.

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I'm sort of an old fashioned guy. I don't believe in rushing things, so for now I'm just looking for someone I can communicate with. Intelligence is a must, weirdness is a plus.

A bit about myself. I'm generally a pretty quiet person, and I don't get out much. I have a fondness for good books and bad jokes. I am not religious, but certainly have nothing against those who are. I keep in shape by bike riding (and for the record, own no spandex shorts). I am constantly trying to better myself, be it intellectually with textbooks, or by developing new skills, such as laying carpet. I enjoy cooking and writing fiction. I rarely drink, partially because I'm selective about what I like, and partially because I have a freakishly high alcohol tolerance.

I do consider myself a little strange, and get along best with people who also are a little odd.

I find that beauty is on the inside, but as with a Christmas gift, the wrapping holds a definite appeal as well. I'll admit to being a bit shallow about that, though I honestly wish I weren't. This is one reason I prefer to get to know someone before getting involved with them. The better I know someone the less important looks become. There's really no point in judging someone on an appearance that they had no choice of in the first place.

In appearance I would consider myself strictly average, or maybe just slightly above. I am 5 foot 11 inches tall. Thick black hair, blue eyes, and I do wear glasses. I often have a beard, but I change it frequently. I am slightly muscular, though I do not work at it. It's just the way I am.

If you would like someone to talk to, with the possibility of more down the road, let me know.

No one over 30, please.

Anyone telling me that it's desperate and pathetic can stow it.

At this point I shall shut up then.

At this point I shall shut up then.

Me too.

Carpet laying?

I really doubt that any girl under 30 is going to be interested in you based on that description.. I mean, carpet laying?? c'mon!

You really need to get out more, develop some social skills and meet some people.. Then, if u still need a personal ad, atleast you will have something semi-interesting to put in it.

Carpet laying?

Carpet laying is awesome. Haven't you ever tried it?

Me too.

I'm on board too.

Hey, it's a marketable skill, just like landscaping and web design.

I'm not justifying it's placement in the ad, just my pride in being able to do it.

Your ad is full of boredom, age and unfunniness and predictfulness. There is nothing exciting about your ad.

Do it my way - the way to get them interested is to shock them.

Do something completely crazy in there.

E.g. start it like this:

"Fuck you bitch!!1

Err, I mean, hi.

Now that I got your attention.."

Or add something completely out of place in your interests.

I mean, damn, do anything so that the person reading it doesn't fall asleep mid-through.

Maybe not as radical as I suggested, but I hope you get the point. There are thousands of personals out there; You've got to stand out.

Your ad is full of boredom, age and unfunniness and predictfulness. There is nothing exciting about your ad.

"Fuck you bitch!!1

Err, I mean, hi.

Now that I got your attention.."

*Insert picard*

*Insert picard*

I never said mine was funny. I said that his was unfunny.

What I was trying to say is that at the moment his ad sounds just like any other out there, he should do something about it.

You should consider the possibility that any extremely "normal" people probably won't be looking at personal ads, so the fact that you mention "weird" and "odd" (maybe not verbatim, but still) in your ad makes me think you're some fucked up fetishist living in your parents' basement.

The carpet laying shit makes you sound really boring.

A lot of "normal" people actually do look at personal ads.

Change "laying carpet" to "licking carpet" and you may get a few more replies...

Hello. I'm sort of an old fashioned guy, I don't believe in rushing things and am looking for a companion that enjoys conversation. Intelligence is a must, there's more to life than a pretty face.

I guess that you'd like to know a few facts about me right off the bat. I'm a quiet person and am more of a homebody; I can be happy just relaxing around the house. I have a certain fondness for good books and bad jokes. I don't practice any sort of religion, but certainly have nothing against those that hold a faith. I keep in shape by bike riding; though I'm not the spandex-clad Lothario. I am constantly trying to better myself in new and creative ways; be they intellectual pursuits or the more physical sort. These enjoyable pursuits mean that I can write a short story or lay a carpet; I value a rounded person. I enjoy cooking and rarely drink; partially because I'm selective about what I like, partially because I have a naturally high alcohol tolerance.

I do consider myself a little strange, and get along best with people who also are a little odd. Normal can be boring, and life should never be boring.

I am 5 foot 11 inches tall and have thick black hair. My eyes are blue and I wear glasses. I often have a beard, but I change it frequently. I am slightly muscular, though I don't work at it. It's just the way I am.

If you would like someone to talk to, with the possibility of more down the road, let me know.

I look forward to getting to know you. Please, no one over 30.

I edited it as I saw fit. You should probably include your age within the description of your appearance.

Just chill the fuck out.

Go to a bar one evening turn to the girl next to you with a smile and shoot her a cheerful, "Hey! What's up?"

What have you got to lose?

Y'know, I'm gonna ignore what you said at first, and tell you that that's a really shitty and pathetic personal ad. I'm not against the idea of personal ads, but my god that one sucked hardcore. No one cares if you can lay carpet, no woman under 45 is going too look at that and go 'ZOMG WHAT AN AMAZING GUY, HE CAN LAY CARPET', unless it's some sort of sexual reference, which it obviously isn't. All that ad tells me is that you're a nerdy, unsocial shut-in, with nothing interesting about yourself, and no appeal at all. Get outside sometime, talk to actual chicks, and find out that laying fucking carpet isn't something they care about.

You know what? This was a bad idea. I don't know what I was thinking.

Frankly, i don't know either. Good luck, but I just happen to think you're going about it in the wrong way.

Prom do you really need to do this? MUST you always be searching for a relationship?

....???

Why is everyone saying this guy has done a terrible job? Yo prometheus, good ad yo. Look, to me the ad seemed honest, upfront, and presented you as honestly and attractively as possible. Honestly douchebags, can you make one that is better and truthful about yourself?

Anyway, dont worry about it bro, try it out. However, I will emphasize the importance of meeting girls and just being confident and using the "Hey, whats up?"

Well, knowing he can lay carpet doesn't really draw oohs and aaahs from girls, usually. Neither does saying he's not social, very picky, cares about looks enough to mention it in the ad, and kinda boring. Chances that an insecure or prospective female won't look twice at that, there isn't too much listed there to make him seem attractive and desirable. What you want to do is grab attention using good points, fill in the details after, but at least give yourself the chance for it.

Use what you have or put Euda's edit up.

Either way, do it.

You'll get more results the more you try, so try this.

DO IT.


I'm trying some really low-key shit on Craigslist.

Shitty luck so far. I think this chick I just e-mailed is faking everything he/she wrote. :(

I don't recognise your username or anything. Based purely on the add I judged you to be in the 50 - 60 year old age bracket (can't say exactly why) and I had to read the last sentence twice to make sure you didn't say 'anyone under 30 should not apply'.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL *breathes*

He's young, knock more than 32-42 years (respectively) off that guess. He had another crummy thread about his fantastic exploits getting teh wimmins at a scifi/cartoon/somethiiing nerdy convention.

Actually, he has had a couple Convention threads and more threads long before those ones. Prometheus is quite the totsean.

However, it's no reason to be a dick.

Prometheus, make the effort. Put yourself out there, as best you can manage.

A lot of "normal" people actually do look at personal ads.

Yeah...




For a good laugh!

Y'know... you're right, this attempt is no reason to be an ass to him, for that I apologize, Prom.

Euda's edit was good, seemed interesting, a ton more inviting, and like it would appeal to a wider audience. More forward, more focus to the good points, and holds more energy. I may still doubt a bit of content, but it's superior.

It's probably the 'anyone who's gonna criticize this go away' that got me, along with the slight superiority complex i got from him in the older thread I read. All criticism has some base to it, good or bad, but I can't say it's a good idea to ignore it entirely, it can help if you take some advice. You're appealing to the public, and totse is a nice piece of the public view with a wide range of viewpoints/contribution. Most times it's not a bad idea to listen to some of these.

Mate...Drop the carpet laying...That just screams "BOOOOOORING!"
Carpet laying is a skill to be worked at for a while to be aquired fully...Believe me I know. But that's something you show when she needs a carpet laid and you just happen to be able to impress her with it.
Use a skill that sounds fun and/or daring. A musical instrument perhaps. Or skydiving.

As bad an idea as you putting laying carpet in your personal ad?
Ok, no more sarcasm. But you might want to actually listen to some of the advice, a lot of the posters in SAA really know their shit.

I concur, definitely do it. You're not going to lose anything from it, but chances are you'll get something out of it. If anything, by posting several ads and judging the responses, you'll get some experience.

What would you know about it? You're hot, you have no shortage of options.

I, however, haven't been involved with anyone in nearly two years.

For those who asked, I'm 25, I just forgot to put that in.

Garrett, I've been here over 7 years, and am former mod of Mad Sci. Just so you know.

No need to get overly defensive there, from what I've seen you're not ugly yourself. That, and Kate especially may have some good point if you didn't try and push it away and call her opinionated (per se), she's not a mod for nothing.

I edited Euda's edit. If you don't like it oh well. It's worth a shot to try to help you out.
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Hello. I'm sort of an old-fashioned guy – I don't believe in rushing things. I’m interested in meeting someone I can connect with. Intelligence is a must! There's more to people than just looks, after all.

A few facts about me: I'm a quiet person; I can be happy just relaxing around the house. I love good books and bad jokes. I’m not religious, but I’m not against religion either. I keep in shape by bike riding, but not to worry, I'm not the spandex-clad Lothario. I constantly try to better myself in new and creative ways, be they intellectual or physical pursuits. Writing and cooking are a couple activities I enjoy. I don’t often drink, but I don’t mind having a drink on occasion.

I consider myself a little strange and I enjoy the company of people who also break the mold. Normal can be boring! I want to enjoy life, be myself, and spend time with open-minded people.

As far as looks: I’m 5’11, have thick black hair and blue eyes, and I wear glasses. I often have a beard, but that changes from time to time. I am slightly muscular, though I don’t live at the gym. Eating healthy and a little exercise keep me fit.

I’m looking for chatting at first with the possibility of more down the road. If you’re interested then feel free to contact me.

I look forward to getting to know you. But please, no one over 30.

Nothing wrong with busting a nut inside some fat chick from craigslist, we've all done it. Right?!?!

What would you know about it? You're hot, you have no shortage of options.

I, however, haven't been involved with anyone in nearly two years.

For those who asked, I'm 25, I just forgot to put that in.

Garrett, I've been here over 7 years, and am former mod of Mad Sci. Just so you know.

I've been single for 3 years, I also used to be a lot larger then I am now.

Things aren't sunshine and lollypops for everyone when it comes to relationships, even if you do have a 'pretty face'