Without going into too much detail, I love treating my girlfriends badly. I love slapping them around during sex and making them engage in a wide array of humiliating sexual activities. Not only that, but I also love emotionally abusing and degrading them to the point they start to believe they're worthless. In fact, I enjoy belittling and abusing my current girlfriend so much that I may have caused her to attempt suicide a month ago.

I was just wondering if there are any other people like myself on TOTSE and how common this kind of behavior is among men.

You're new here aren't you?

Mabye... Maybe not.

Mabye... Maybe not.

If you weren't new then you'd know who or rather what jackketch is .Here's something I wrote a while back:



(A couple of people have said they'd like to see this posted again and never being one to miss a chance for some shameless Attention Whoring i though i'd recount once again the story of how Jackketch had his 'epiphany' and became the fine figure of a sicko he is today!)

And who knows..maybe it will help some other confused kid..

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Aged 17 i spent a summer and autumn hitch-hiking around the then West Germany on my own. For the first time in my life i was free of parental constraints and small-town prejudice.

At that time i was really confused about my sexuality. A year or so of solid ,7 days a week ,martial arts training had turned the very fat, dorky kid into something approaching the lean, mean luurrv machine i was later to become but all those years of being tormented at school and a mother with 'issues' had left me 'damaged'.

I knew i wasn't gay, which was comforting (remember this was back in the 80's when being gay was , for a 17 year old, illegal and second to invite a never ending series of beatings at the hands of the local rednecks and discrimination from society that equated 'gay' with 'child molester'). I had certainly had feelings for girls but also for some boys.

Anyway like so many Children of the Secret and damaged souls before me, i ended up on theReeperbahn which is and was Hamburg's Mile Of Sin or red light district.

So being 'free' and in the right place i decided to test my theory that i was 'Bi' and get myself laid. Typically Ketchian i had decided if it were to be done then properly, no holds barred, anal intercourse etc etc.

One afternoon i walked into a gay bar just off the main Reeperbahn and got talking to the barman, who fortunately spoke fluent english. After a couple of hours he introduced me to one of his regulars who liked the look of me and seemed pleasant enough.

Nowadays i shudder at the thought of the risks i was taking but with the bravado of youth and the delusion that a 'Tireur' in para boots was damn near invincible....

His name was Hans-Peter and a trainee lawyer in his late 20's/early 30's. He spoke good English and we hit it off ok.

First off we went to another , really seedy, gay bar and talked a bit . He told me that what he was really into was the slave/master thing...with him as the 'master'. I said i was fine with that and a few minutes later found myself sucking his cock on my knees infront of all his mates! He then had me suck a couple of his friends ..just to show them his 'dominance' of me.

He told me that the bar also had rooms to rent by the hour and asked me if we should take one. I said i was happy to spend the whole night with him and go to his place.

He took me several places after that bar. Including a real high class S&M private members club in St.Georg ( and even more sinful district of Hamburg!). But the regulars there were a bit wary of us as i seemed very young. And i wasn't yet prepared to be naked in public...which all the 'slaves' there were.

When we got back to his apartment he told me he'd really like me to dress up in a skirt and knickers and to let him spank me.

Turned out he'd got all the toys and props. It sounded like fun so i dressed up how he wanted and laid myself over his knee.

It was a kind of fun but a bit disappointing as he was too nervous to spank me properly

Anyways we ended up on his bed , me with my skirt up and panties down and him taking me in the arse. But he had a bit of 'brewers droop' i think and had trouble keeping hard enough to fuck me properly.

We finished off with some mutual masturbation and both fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning before he did and went looking around his apartment for coffee.

While looking for coffee i found a pile of English language mags.

No glossy gaping pron pics but stories and line drawings of girls getting spanked, caned and brutally flogged. Reading them i suddenly realised that this was who i was, what i wanted to do. This was what turned me on and obviously i wasn't the only one who had such desires!

It was a life changing moment. I was no longer some sexually confused kid. I was a sadist, a predator. The sex with Hans had been a lot of fun and really interesting but it hadn't really 'hit the spot'.

Hans woke up and we parted on really good terms, he even slipped me 30 DM to get some breakfast on my way home and asked me if i wanted to come by again that night. I didn't want to because now i knew what my soul craved. But i will always be grateful to him for being a gentle, considerate lover and for providing me with the opportunity to discover who i really am.

I walked out of his place towards the Subway and suddenly i realised that i was different , that something had changed inside me. I started to notice women noticing me. I started to see those little signs of sexual interest. I discovered that looking at a girl and thinking of her being spanked can make a man very attractive.

And so Jackketch was born, on a sunny autumn morning in Hamburg some 20 years ago.





[This message has been edited by jackketch (edited 03-25-2007).]

And who knows..maybe it will help some other confused kid..

It certainly helped me.

It's a good story too, i remember it with fondness. :)