I've been dating the same girl for almost a year now and this past month or so it has really sucked. I don't see her now as much as I used to because I'm working now and so is she, but whenever we hang out now it just doesn't feel like it used to. I'm completely in love with her and she is with me but things just feel very static lately.

I don't know, I just need something that will liven shit up a bit. All we do when we're together is just kind of sit around and watch TV or she'll like read a book while I talk to her dad and stupid shit like that. We have sex but that's a whole other story because we haven't fucked in like 2 weeks.

I have a feeling that that might be part of the problem but I can't necessarily be like "hey come on fuck me woman lets make things better" because she's had a lot on her mind and she's just been weird about sex lately.

So i don't know really what to do. I'm not dumping her over something so stupid, especially after dating for so long.

But has anyone ever been through shit like this? Any advice would be great.

Man, I think everybody experiences this after around a year. I know that I have in all my relationships.

There comes a time around that year when you suddenly remember that you haven`t even kissed her passionately for weeks, that you never hold hands anymore or go out on dates.
Just try to liven your relationship up a bit and I am sure she will respond in kind.

Go travelling or something. Go on a hike, build a boat and go fishing, make a band, paint a ginourmous picture together.

Basically do something new.

This sounds hauntingly familiar. The sex was a big issue, and the relationship overall was distant. We managed to get the spark back for a short while, but that may have attributed partially to the holidays. It still collapsed eventually.

This is a really good thread.

Anyway, I think that it's a sign that you're not meant to be together forever. In my ideal relationship, I would be excited to be with her every day, even after years. As it is, I still treat her like I do during the first month we were going out, when it was all random flowers and hidden candy and secret post it notes.

Ask yourself: Are you just staying with her cause you're used to it?

Are you sure it's ALL relationships you mean, or just yours?

And I really really dont mean that in a shitty way.

I'm just wondering, if you're bored...maybe it's the girl you're with? Maybe it's you and you're just not compatible with the girl?



I dunno, I figure part of going out with someone is because you enjoy it and they're interesting.
Maybe if you're kinda bored you may want to move on?

There's no shame in breaking up with someone if you dont enjoy their company anymore. You'd be totally in the right if you felt it was the right thing to do.

Are you sure it's ALL relationships you mean, or just yours?

And I really really dont mean that in a shitty way.

I'm just wondering, if you're bored...maybe it's the girl you're with? Maybe it's you and you're just not compatible with the girl?



I dunno, I figure part of going out with someone is because you enjoy it and they're interesting.
Maybe if you're kinda bored you may want to move on?

There's no shame in breaking up with someone if you dont enjoy their company anymore. You'd be totally in the right if you felt it was the right thing to do.

No I didn't mean all relationships in general, just mine, and I know friends who this has happened to. I really do enjoy being with her and she makes me incredibly happy but it's just been different lately for some reason. Like I actually found myself waiting for the time to roll by so that I could leave because I was so bored.

Maybe it's me.

No I didn't mean all relationships in general, just mine, and I know friends who this has happened to. I really do enjoy being with her and she makes me incredibly happy but it's just been different lately for some reason. Like I actually found myself waiting for the time to roll by so that I could leave because I was so bored.

Maybe it's me.



That sucks. :(
Do you reckon you'll try to talk to her about how you feel? Or would that probably not turn out for the best,ie she'd get offended or something?

No I didn't mean all relationships in general, just mine, and I know friends who this has happened to. I really do enjoy being with her and she makes me incredibly happy but it's just been different lately for some reason. Like I actually found myself waiting for the time to roll by so that I could leave because I was so bored.

Maybe it's me.

I felt this way for awhile after the first year in my current relationship.

Somewhere along the way, the feelings came back in a more intense way than I remember at all, and haven't waned since. I attribute it to me having been depressed for awhile before I worked some shit out.

It was either that or all the psychedelic drug use.

Either way, I'm glad I didn't bail early and couldn't be happier now.

ive been in mine for almost 2 years, and i put consistent effort into making sure it never gets boring. thats really the only thing i consistantly put effort into relationship wise.

That sucks. :(
Do you reckon you'll try to talk to her about how you feel? Or would that probably not turn out for the best,ie she'd get offended or something?

Yea I'm going to bring it up with her tomorrow and see what she says. We talk to each other about everything like this and agreed a long time ago that we always would. She won't be offended but I just wonder if she'll understand what I'm trying to point out. I feel like she's just going to says something like "eh whatever I didn't notice" or "ok well what the hell am i supposed to do about it?" I hope not.

ive been in mine for almost 2 years, and i put consistent effort into making sure it never gets boring. thats really the only thing i consistantly put effort into relationship wise.


Well maybe you could give me some advice then. Don't you run out of ideas? What are some of the things that keep you put effort into doing that keeps the relationship interesting?

Well maybe you could give me some advice then. Don't you run out of ideas? What are some of the things that keep you put effort into doing that keeps the relationship interesting?

well, consistency is your achilles heel. that applies to most everything. if youre consistent, youre reliable and reliablity is good for a while. and then for most girls that are even slightly adventerous, reliablity is only nice when she needs something to fall back on.

dont talk to her everyday. when you do, make the times random as hell. and you just have to get creative here...call her one morning when she first wakes up, tell her you think shes beautiful and then hang up. oh if youre the type that likes to talk on the phone, the minute you feel her interest peak in you, tell her goodbye and hang up. always quit while youre ahead.

vary up the dates, and make sure you date her, not sit around at her house. dont think up the money excuse, if youre even remotely creative you can find dates that dont cost money. each date is different, avoid cliche shit like dinner+movie for when you cant think of anything else, and make that rare as hell.

don't always be available.

dont put "i love you" on rapid-fire.

sex is good. never ever fucking get boring in the bedroom. and who says the bedroom is the only place?

its all about being random as hell, passionate, and in short supply.





oh and when i was younger i used to rely on this like a cruch, but i wouldnt recommend it. Drama is huuuuuuuuge. say you arent sure about the relationship and 90 percent of the time she'll be on you 10x harder.

^once again this is immature as hell though, so i wouldnt recommend it.

A question for the OP. Do you find yourself having more interest in other girls?

Yeah lately I have actually. I'll find myself flirting and not even notice. Why.

Yeah lately I have actually. I'll find myself flirting and not even notice. Why.

Thats usually when it's time to end it. Go explore what else is out there.

If the other girls leave with you with the feeling that they're just not like the girl you're currently with, and she feels the same, then maybe you can look into getting back together.

But the best remedy for a stale relationship is time apart. Of course, theres always the risk that it becomes permanent, but it gives you time to miss each other and figure out what you really want.

Thats usually when it's time to end it. Go explore what else is out there.

If the other girls leave with you with the feeling that they're just not like the girl you're currently with, and she feels the same, then maybe you can look into getting back together.

But the best remedy for a stale relationship is time apart. Of course, theres always the risk that it becomes permanent, but it gives you time to miss each other and figure out what you really want.

Yeah I dont know. I'm gonna give it some time and see how things go these next few weeks and then decide. I don't think time apart is a good idea though because one of the reasons shit is like this in the first place is because we haven't been seeing each other as much.

Yeah I dont know. I'm gonna give it some time and see how things go these next few weeks and then decide. I don't think time apart is a good idea though because one of the reasons shit is like this in the first place is because we haven't been seeing each other as much.

Well, there are two options. Either take some time apart, or take some time for each other, and get away just the two of you.

It's time, man. You gotta release her back into the wild.

"Go boy, you're free now" etc.

Get outside the comfort zone. Find something that will get you more interested. There's always something new.

Lack of variety or getting very accustomed to each other about then is about it. If you can spice it back up, then awesome, if you want to.

I've been in that same spot, repeatedly, for the last 3 months, give or take. We'd discuss it, it would improve for a week, then go back to the way it was just before. Except a) I'm not flirting with other girls b) I'm more or less perfectly aware that it's my doing and I'm not doing anything to help it out, as much as I may want to. Your mileage may vary.

Lack of variety or getting very accustomed to each other about then is about it. If you can spice it back up, then awesome, if you want to.

I do want to and I'm going to try.


I've been in that same spot, repeatedly, for the last 3 months, give or take. We'd discuss it, it would improve for a week, then go back to the way it was just before.

Exactly. This is what keeps happening and I can't figure out what to do about it. It feels like she's doing all the bitching and not doing anything about it.

Except a) I'm not flirting with other girls b) I'm more or less perfectly aware that it's my doing and I'm not doing anything to help it out, as much as I may want to. Your mileage may vary.

At this point I'm really not even sure whose fault this shit is. It could be me but I don't feel like I've changed or done much that would make something like this happen.

What happens is that she'll make me feel bad for not being able to hang out with her for a bit one day because I ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO get something done, and then she cant even take the time out of her own damn day when she's doing nothing to come do hang out with me.