My gay thread towards the end shifted towards this subject, so what are your views on marriage? straight or homosexual?

I personally am against all marriage for the fact of how much power the govt has involved with the separation of church and state in violation.

Plus I think of it as an excuse for bitches to take half and ruin lives.

I'd like to get married one day. I'm sure my gay friends would, too.

edit after xxombie's mention of vegas/elvis: My ideal wedding would consist of eloping to Vegas, having a small ceremony perfomed by Elvis, in the presence of only a few of my friends, and of course whoever my future husband wants to bring.

Big weddings ftl.

While I wouldn't look for a woman specifically to marry.
If the right one came along It'd be alright.

Marriage is programmed into humans as a method of confirming absolute commitment.

I was raised catholic, went to a strict catholic school, and although I haven't been to mass in maybe 7 years, could ryhme off 3/4 of the service, excluding the readings, along with the priest... but religion means nothing to me.

I will still get married, though. I see it more as a legal promise of commitment... plus in the unfortunate demise of our marriage, my pass to access of my child.

I'm not gonna go looking for marriage but if it comes along and I am 100% sure it feels like the right thing to do then I will. Otherwise... fuck marriage, it's a dying institution.

I doubt I'll ever be seriously married. I'm sure I'll have some run in with an Elvis impersonator in Vegas or something, but other then that I think marraige is stupid.

Why should you be tied down to one person? My grama and grampa have been married for like 40+ years. They don't love eachother anymore, they simply tollerate the fact that they have to live in the same house. I just couldn't do it.

I'll be picking up dudes in crappy bars untill I'm 80.

Haha well maybe I'll see you along the way.:)

I think if you plan to have kids you should get married. But then there's always the fact that if you trusted them enough you wouldn't need a legally binding contract.

But I think kids need to grow up in a stable environment.

It really still is a necessity...Especially if you have kids. It's important for medical insurance reasons and to protect investments you have together. If you are only boyfriend and girlfriend you are NOTHING to each other... in the eyes of the govornment anyway. Even if you have been together 30 years, even if you have 10 kids together...You might as well be strangers on the street. If something happened to one of you or if one of you died...You need the irrefutable bond of marriage to protect your rights and survivors benefits.

If my husband died I would receive $400,000 life insurance money, $2,500 per month in survivors pay and my daughter and I would continue to get free military medical insurance. If I were just his girlfriend I would get nothing. If my husband and I got divorced I would probably end up with about 85% of our assets, $700 per month in child support and about $1200 per month in alimony for equal to half the time we were married. If I was his girlfriend I might get the child support. If my husband was hurt or something I would be the one making the decisions for him. If I was his girlfriend it would be his family making the decisions and if they didn't like me they could even stop me from seeing him.

If my husband died I would receive $400,000 life insurance money, $2,500 per month in survivors pay and my daughter and I would continue to get free military medical insurance. If I were just his girlfriend I would get nothing. If my husband and I got divorced I would probably end up with about 85% of our assets, $700 per month in child support and about $1200 per month in alimony for equal to half the time we were married.

Am I the only one who thinks that is absolute horse shit? You haven't worked for a damn thing (unless sex counts as work) and yet you're entitled to all that? I call shenanigans.

Which is why I see it as bullshit, regardless, you don't look at marriage for the financhial benefits it has if a spouse dies/leaves.

You should of said that marriage was the ultimate form of commitment and that money and legal benefits have nothing to do with it

oi. she speaks the truth.

unfortunately the way our system is set up currently it places huge value on insitution of marriage. personally, i really dont like the insitutition that much. I see it more as "i'm not 100 pecent confident in keeping my partner interested/the relationship working so i'll get the law to supplement anything i might be lacking."

realistically, i'll more than likely get married someday...it just makes logistic sense.

i really wish the state would change to accomidate modern culture. marriage is viewed as this pinnacle, where we should all strive to be. and such a huge amount of marriages are failing in large part because the mentality is "i have to get into one" and subsequently people rush to get into one.

but as xiao mei mentioned, they are absolutely necessary if you have children.

Xiao's right (for once, so god help me).

NO matter your religious views or lack of them, no matter the rights and wrongs of the institution.

The fem nazis have weakened marriage a whole lot over the last few years and no doubt one day they'll get rid of it completely but at the moment it is still the only and best safeguard for men and women going.

For example, this summer my wife was committed. Because I am her husband and legal next of kin I got some say in what happened to her and was able to protect her from an over-zealous and frankly incompetent doctor.

I'm sorry but kids or not, there is no way in hell I'm gonna let some money-hungry bitch legally steal everything I've spent my whole life working for just because we were married for a few years, she got bored of me, and decided to cash out and fine somebody else. No fucking way.

while i totally fucking agree with this, i also agree with women getting money from the divorce as well.

without it some wife who raised the kids for 18 odd years, did all the cooking, housework etc and ends up with a shit husband, is left with nothing if she chooses to leave/he abuses her.

its a double edged sword.

I'm still at the stage of seeing marriage as a special romantic special thing that only people who really really love each other should do.

I feel in my relationship, We're no way ready to get Married, and possibly never will be.

That's cool, I'm happy to know that I'm not going to make a stupid rash decision and jump into something I'll later regret.



But along the road I live on, there are FOUR,count them FOUR FUCKING WEDDING DRESS SHOPS and the dresses allways look so elegant and beautifull and sparkly!
They're fucking torturing me here!

Wedding=Romance+commitment+free cake+pretty dresses+pride.

Am I the only one who thinks that is absolute horse shit? You haven't worked for a damn thing (unless sex counts as work) and yet you're entitled to all that? I call shenanigans.

*sigh*
Just because I'm not PAID to cook, clean, pay bills and babysit, it doesn't mean I'm not working when I do those things. I was estimating on the benefits I would get in a divorce based on what women I know have been awarded in their divorces. Also, I'm sure my husband would want my daughter and I to live comfortably, so I doubt he'd try to keep money from me. I am cetain of my survivors benefits, though, because the military sends us information about them every year.

*sigh*
Just because I'm not PAID to cook, clean, pay bills and babysit, it doesn't mean I'm not working when I do those things.

Pfft, you don't have a manager to deal with, or 8+ hours of godawful mindless repetitive work. I find it incredibly hard to believe that every minute he's at work dealing with bullshit, you're actively cooking or cleaning. Also, babysitting is not work, it's being in the area in case some shit goes down.

I was estimating on the benefits I would get in a divorce based on what women I know have been awarded in their divorces.

HAHA, there's a reliable source. Sure, you're entitled to what your bloodsucking vampire leech friends were able to steal for their husbands.

Also, I'm sure my husband would want my daughter and I to live comfortably, so I doubt he'd try to keep money from me.

Lets see how long that lasts when you decide to divorce him, take all his money, and take the kids.

I am cetain of my survivors benefits, though, because the military sends us information about them every year.

Okay, yeah, that doesn't bother me. Nor does the life insurance, which was his choice.

I must admit I appreciate the work a housewife does each day.
I had one day off recently, and in that time I did ALL the laundry, in three massive loads, cleaned the windows, did all the dishes, cooked spring rolls and stuff for tea,cleaned out the animal cages, vacuumed the entire room and moved shit around so I could get at the dust that's been accumulating there for over a year,I dragged home a christmas tree and did the shopping, I scrubbed the mold off the walls and changed the bed sheets, scraped the ick off the shower (seriously,wtf is that weird stuff that grows on tiles?!),de-molded the windows and killed the small family of earwigs that had tried to move in.
And after all that I was fucking shattered. And that's just tidying one small appartment with no kids!


So it's wrong to insult housewives or say that they dont do shit. Just because their work is more internall and maybe not as risky as working in a coalmine/kitchen/KFC doesent mean it's any less worthy.
It just..doesent pay so great. I guess?

His job is harder than mine, I admit that, but it's not a contest or something. He loves me and wants to take care of me and I love him and want to take care of him. We each contribute to the family and we're happy with the arrangement we have.

Expecting my share of our family assets doesn't make me a leech or a vampire. I'm half of the marraige and I'm entitled to a fair percentage of what we have.

His job is harder than mine, I admit that, but it's not a contest or something. He loves me and wants to take care of me and I love him and want to take care of him. We each contribute to the family and we're happy with the arrangement we have.

So far.

Expecting my share of our family assets doesn't make me a leech or a vampire. I'm half of the marraige and I'm entitled to a fair percentage of what we have.

For the sake of discussion, what do you consider to be your fair share of the assets?

I don't think there is a woman alive that will want to marry you.

So perish the thought of marriage, and castrate yourself already, cunt.

So far.



For the sake of discussion, what do you consider to be your fair share of the assets?

Heh, it's been about 10 years, so I think the marraige is gonna take.:P

And I would consider it fair if I got half our IRA, the house, 70% of our savings and if he paid me half of his income (he makes about $5,000 per month) for a time equal to half the time we were married. If our daughter was grown up I wouldn't expect as much. If she was on her own I would expect half of everything and for him to pay me alimony for a period of time equalling half of our marraige. What I've outlined there is pretty standard for people getting divorced in Georgia where the wife hasn't worked outside of the home and where there are kids involved.

More and more men are coming out the major losers in divorce/custody settlements.

People don't dress up as spiderman and dangling off Buckingham Palace for fun.

And of course it means young men are less likely to want to marry when they see their fathers etc getting fucked over.

Which is I assume what the FemNazis wanted all along.

It all went wrong when they got rid of the 'adultery principle', ie the guilty party paid.

A spouse who cheated and broke the marriage should get jack shit.

Custody should always be automatically shared unless there is a direct, clear and present danger to the child.

When the wife and I spilt up I suddenly found she refused me access to the kids despite the fact we'd always said that no matter what happened we'd never use the kids as a weapon.

Yeah I could have fought it and I'd have probably won but did I really want to have to go to court and crucify her? No matter what had passed between us. Even if she was just being a vindictive cunt (which she admits now).

Maybe thats the reason fathers tend to get arsed raped by the so-called justice system.

I don't think any man would relish the thought of having to go to court and publically make his ex-wife out to be an unfit mother, even if it was true.

Somethings are just too low, y'know?

Heh, it's been about 10 years, so I think the marraige is gonna take.:P

And I would consider it fair if I got half our IRA, the house, 70% of our savings and if he paid me half of his income (he makes about $5,000 per month) for a time equal to half the time we were married. If our daughter was grown up I wouldn't expect as much. If she was on her own I would expect half of everything and for him to pay me alimony for a period of time equalling half of our marraige. What I've outlined there is pretty standard for people getting divorced in Georgia where the wife hasn't worked outside of the home and where there are kids involved.

Jesus wept. Leech much??!

Anything more than half of everything is just immoral.
As much as I agree with you on marriage thats just wrong.

Like I said, no wonder younger men do not want to marry.

I would only expect more than half if our daughter was still living with me. We've already agreed that if we split up she would stay with me. I mean he would always visit her and such, but she would live with me and I would have custody.

Dood don't kill the messanger! I was basing what I said off of what is standard for my state of residence! England is probably different than the US.

Heh, it's been about 10 years, so I think the marraige is gonna take.:P

And I would consider it fair if I got half our IRA, the house, 70% of our savings and if he paid me half of his income (he makes about $5,000 per month) for a time equal to half the time we were married. If our daughter was grown up I wouldn't expect as much. If she was on her own I would expect half of everything and for him to pay me alimony for a period of time equalling half of our marraige. What I've outlined there is pretty standard for people getting divorced in Georgia where the wife hasn't worked outside of the home and where there are kids involved.

As Jack said, leech much? More than half the savings, the house, half the retirement account, AND half of his salary? Do you realize that would leave him with next to nothing, AND his income slashed in half no matter what? Supporting a child or not, I find that to be disgustingly greedy, and if that actually IS the standard settlement, that's just fucking sad. Husbands weep, lawyers cheer.

Jesus wept. Leech much??!

Anything more than half of everything is just immoral.
As much as I agree with you on marriage thats just wrong.

Like I said, no wonder younger men do not want to marry.



Maybe things are different in America?
Perhaps schooling and such is more expensive?

This is assuming that if they divorced (I really hope they dont, Xiao seems like a very good woman), she'd get to keep the child?
If he's in a more stable better earning job would he not get the child?

That being said, I really hope my boyfriend never see's this thread and thinks if we marry I'm going to somehow think I'm entitled to what he earns and what he owns.

I think marriage is an awesome idea.

Only if you don't rush into it, though. Thats how divorces happen. But I would love to be married one day.

*Rocko, why do you think every women wants to steal everything a bloke has? That seems incredibly narrow minded.

Maybe things are different in America?
Perhaps schooling and such is more expensive?

This is assuming that if they divorced (I really hope they dont, Xiao seems like a very good woman), she'd get to keep the child?
If he's in a more stable better earning job would he not get the child?

That being said, I really hope my boyfriend never see's this thread and thinks if we marry I'm going to somehow think I'm entitled to what he earns and what he owns.

Things are different here...I would certainly get our child because I am her mother. It is pretty much unheard of (In Georgia anyway) for a mother to not get custody. I don't know if school is more expensive here, but I do know that medical insurance is very expensive. My friend pays $700 per month for her family policy.

And I meant I'd get half of our house...I see that I didn't write that very well and I'd get half of his income, but most of that would be child support. The alimony would only go on for half of the total time we were married. I say 70% of our savings because I'd need that for our daughter...For her braces and for her college.

Ever heard of teh comm3n lawzz??!?!

My mom had double everything you had in her name before she married my stepdad and was NEVER at all married to my actual dad and got his insurance money when he died and we are all still covered under his medical and my stepdads.

Hahahah, my mom owned all my stepdads shit way before they were married, car, $4,000,000 life insurance policy and the house.

Mebe get better insurance policies?? There's no reason to get married.

*Rocko, why do you think every women wants to steal everything a bloke has? That seems incredibly narrow minded.

I can't help the fact that it's true.

Things are different here...I would certainly get our child because I am her mother. It is pretty much unheard of (In Georgia anyway) for a mother to not get custody.

That is a ridiculous and disgusting skew in the legal system. The parent with the greater and more stable income ought to get custody of the child, period. Unless that parent is a drug addict or something. It makes no sense to me to award custody to somebody that hasn't worked for years and whose only income is what she can steal from her ex-husband.

Sensible! I mean the Marriage thing.

I think perhaps Rocko has been badly hurt by a horrible woman at some point, so it's going to take some time for that to heal. And I really dont mean that in a bitchy way.



If I ever get to marry my boyfriend, and should shit ever go wrong, I would never ever expect to get anything from him. I just do not get that at all. If a couple break up, they're broken up. Why the hell would one party expect handouts like that?

Things are different here...I would certainly get our child because I am her mother. It is pretty much unheard of (In Georgia anyway) for a mother to not get custody. I don't know if school is more expensive here, but I do know that medical insurance is very expensive. My friend pays $700 per month for her family policy.

And I meant I'd get half of our house...I see that I didn't write that very well and I'd get half of his income, but most of that would be child support. The alimony would only go on for half of the total time we were married. I say 70% of our savings because I'd need that for our daughter...For her braces and for her college.

Ahh right, yes half the house is of course fair (even if he owned it before you wed).

But 70% of the savings? No if there was any sense of fairness, it would be you both get , for example, 40% with 20% going into a college fund type thing.

Both are parents and both should carry half the cost of the child .

Question for you, assuming you did divorce (which of course I pray never happens) is it possible to come to amicable arrangement regarding the distribution of wealth or does it HAVE to be done in court?

When my parents divorced my dad obviously paid child support for my sis , who was still under 18) but he and my mum agreed simply she'd get the house and that would be it. No alimony no nothing. They had no savings (what with having 3 sons and one daughter...)

The way house prices have risen I think she probably got the better deal, especially as my dad did a job he loved because he loved it and not for the money.

Something like that still possible where you are?

Expecting my share of our family assets doesn't make me a leech or a vampire. I'm half of the marraige and I'm entitled to a fair percentage of what we have.

Eighty-five fucking percent plus eternal paychecks after you quit your job?!?!??!?!!?!??

~cough~ Come on, now... be honest...

Also, babysitting is not work...

Lemme guess... never done it? ;)

Marriage is like a mass hypnosis, that you have to really psychologically overcome, even if everyone including family and friends stand in your way.

*edit*
And women HATE men who are bent on not being married and have no kids, they hate them because they are detached, cannot be possessed, and therefore are a challenge.

Most guys though, pop an accident out, work a shitty job they hate to support it, and marry a schemy bitch who cheats on them, drives them insane, and in the end, well, look around you.

Not ALL guys though...

*yawn* fuck marriage.

Oh yeah, just a thought: Most people who get married, see a meaning in this government, see that the world is fit to raise kids, and see the american dollar as the ultimate protection from all evil. These people think all who oppose this system or see a fault in it are "crazy psychos" and they don't have to worry about them, because those people will just go away and your life will be okay What you have, in society, is a dream for the masses by the guys in the background. Once you see that, you'll see through a lot of meaningless bullshit like modern day christianity and it's offshoot, marriage.

If marriage is so great why is the divorce rate so high? Open your eyes. Dicks and pussies weren't meant to be jailed, you jail them because your society force you to. You dont meet the girl because you love her you meet her because she works the same job and is convenient. Call me crazy, I think a lot of people in this country are the crazy ones so it doesn't matter.

Ahh right, yes half the house is of course fair (even if he owned it before you wed).

But 70% of the savings? No if there was any sense of fairness, it would be you both get , for example, 40% with 20% going into a college fund type thing.

Both are parents and both should carry half the cost of the child .

Question for you, assuming you did divorce (which of course I pray never happens) is it possible to come to amicable arrangement regarding the distribution of wealth or does it HAVE to be done in court?

When my parents divorced my dad obviously paid child support for my sis , who was still under 18) but he and my mum agreed simply she'd get the house and that would be it. No alimony no nothing. They had no savings (what with having 3 sons and one daughter...)

The way house prices have risen I think she probably got the better deal, especially as my dad did a job he loved because he loved it and not for the money.

Something like that still possible where you are?
Actually the arrangement I wrote about on here was the one my husband and I discussed during a...difficult time we were having. We were considering a separation and we looked up what was most commonly done in our state. This was a few years ago, though and we had a lot less money back then.:P My husband has said that even if we split up, he will still always take care of me and our daughter.

Eighty-five fucking percent plus eternal paychecks after you quit your job?!?!??!?!!?!??

~cough~ Come on, now... be honest...



Lemme guess... never done it? ;)

I said for HALF the total time we were married and it was SEVENTY percent. Also...What job?

Lemme guess... never done it? ;)

Oh yes, I've done it, for other people too. As long as they're toilet trained, they take care of themselves. All I have to do is get food out of the fridge for them, and be within a couple seconds of a phone.

marriage is alright, though i hate the fact that people think you HAVE to get married. i mean, whats wrong with living defacto your whole life?

not to mention the legal binding bullshit that concretes.

I'd like to get married when/if I find the right person.
It's less of a legally binding thing and more of a romantic thing to me.
I couldnt give a shit about our finances,and I dont really care for his money. As I see it, if we got married everything would stay the same financially, ie, we'd both work towards the rent and bills.. 'Cause..you know, as partners, that's one thing you do together? try to make life comfortable for each other?


I could honestly do without the cake and fancy dress. I joke about them..and I feel it is some sort of built in hereditary thing in females that make them want to dress up like a princess for a day.

It's more the romance appeal, to me. "I love you so much I want to declair it to the world" and "I love you so much I want to show that I'm not just going to up and leave for some skank tomorrow".
Marriage just feels like a bit more commitment than an average relationship gives.
Of course, I think being engaged for a few years before jumping into anything is vital.
Even if I never get married I'd like to think my boyfriend would commit enough to want to get engaged to me.

It's more or less a legal formality to me and thus doesn't mean too much to me, I'd do fine without, or a small wedding (read: vegas drive-through).

My gf on the other hand, seems to like the idea too much. And the idea of a pre-nup, she doesn't like at all. O_o

That said, whatever broad I marry IS signing a pre-nup agreement, or no ring.

Y'see, that way you get to keep a lot more of your stuff, instead of being completely screwed.

My husband and I were engaged for one week.:P We were sort of pressed for time, though, because he had gotten orders to transfer to California and I couldn't go with him unless we were married. It was all very romantic...He got the orders on a Wednesday afternoon and that evening he asked me to marry him. Actually what he said was, "So I think we should get married because I have to move in like a week." Or something like that.:P I just remember we got married on our 7 month dating annaversery.

My husband and I were engaged for one week.:P We were sort of pressed for time, though, because he had gotten orders to transfer to California and I couldn't go with him unless we were married. It was all very romantic...He got the orders on a Wednesday afternoon and that evening he asked me to marry him. Actually what he said was, "So I think we should get married because I have to move in like a week." Or something like that.:P I just remember we got married on our 7 month dating annaversery.

Living together before your marriage?

Heh, it's been about 10 years, so I think the marraige is gonna take.:P

And I would consider it fair if I got half our IRA, the house, 70% of our savings and if he paid me half of his income (he makes about $5,000 per month) for a time equal to half the time we were married. If our daughter was grown up I wouldn't expect as much. If she was on her own I would expect half of everything and for him to pay me alimony for a period of time equalling half of our marraige. What I've outlined there is pretty standard for people getting divorced in Georgia where the wife hasn't worked outside of the home and where there are kids involved.

Why do you get half of his IRA? You haven't contributed to it.

And why do you get 70% of the savings, when 100% of it came from his income?

I do know that medical insurance is very expensive. My friend pays $700 per month for her family policy... I say 70% of our savings because I'd need that for our daughter...For her braces and for her college.

Why do you need money for insurance and money for braces? Isn't the whole point of having insurance to not have to pay for your own medical bills? Plus, you and your daughter should both still have insurance through your husband, even if you do get divorced, so you wouldn't even need it.

Why do you get half of his IRA? You haven't contributed to it.

And why do you get 70% of the savings, when 100% of it came from his income?

Because that's how it works, apparently.

Men of totse, prenuptial agreements, look it up, learn it, DO IT.

I can't help the fact that it's true.

Thats like saying that all men are serial killers, because there have been lots of documented cases.

Really, not all women are after your money.

i think marriage is important for a couple to appear upright to each other and for a respectable social influence.
and is essential to show how much attracted and how much one cares for the other.
especially essenetial if a couple plan on starting a family.

Why do you get half of his IRA? You haven't contributed to it.

And why do you get 70% of the savings, when 100% of it came from his income?

Actually it's OUR IRA and I am the one who keeps up with it, contributes the $4,000 per year and I'm the one who decides where to invest the money. And yes my husband is the one who earns the money, he and I have both always considered the money to be OURS. I would get 70% because I would be keeping our daughter and I would need the money more than him.

Why do you need money for insurance and money for braces? Isn't the whole point of having insurance to not have to pay for your own medical bills? Plus, you and your daughter should both still have insurance through your husband, even if you do get divorced, so you wouldn't even need it.

I wouldn't be covered if he and I were divorced.

Orthodontics aren't covered under our dental plan and my daughter's orthodontist has projected that her teeth are going to cost us about $15,000-$20,000 overall.

Living together before your marriage?

We had to be married because I was still a minor at the time.

I'm gonna wait as long as I possibly can, even if it kills me.

I've heard too many horror stories to think otherwise.

I wouldn't be covered if he and I were divorced.

Orthodontics aren't covered under our dental plan and my daughter's orthodontist has projected that her teeth are going to cost us about $15,000-$20,000 overall.

You need to check that again. He's in the military, correct? If he is, you automatically get 50% of his pay, and you get to keep all of your military benefits, such as your military ID, you can still go shopping on base, go to base doctors, etc...

We had to be married because I was still a minor at the time.

So you were NOT living together before nuptials? That explains a lot of the problems you discuss on here.

I was 17 at the time.

And seriously, what marraige doesn't have problems? We have our ups and downs like everyone else.

You need to check that again. He's in the military, correct? If he is, you automatically get 50% of his pay, and you get to keep all of your military benefits, such as your military ID, you can still go shopping on base, go to base doctors, etc...

Those are survivors benefits you're describing.

If we got divorced after 15 years of marraige, I would still be covered under his insurance, but my alimony, child support and all of that would be up to a judge.

I'm not fussed either way - I don't NEED a piece of paper to confirm that I love someone therefore I'd be completely happy to stay in a long term de-facto relationship.
For legal reasons, marriage does seem like a good idea, but I'd be more open to a civil union if I needed that piece of paper saying I was committed to someone.

Those are survivors benefits you're describing.

If we got divorced after 15 years of marraige, I would still be covered under his insurance, but my alimony, child support and all of that would be up to a judge.

Nope. I know a lady whose husband was in the military, and they got divorced. She got half of his pay, got to keep all of her benefits, and he kept their daughter because she didn't want her. She would still be getting them, but she just got remarried.

Actually it's OUR IRA and I am the one who keeps up with it, contributes the $4,000 per year and I'm the one who decides where to invest the money. And yes my husband is the one who earns the money, he and I have both always considered the money to be OURS. I would get 70% because I would be keeping our daughter and I would need the money more than him.

I hardly think either of you would keep that "OURS!!!" viewpoint if you got the point of a divorce. :\

Nope. I know a lady whose husband was in the military, and they got divorced. She got half of his pay, got to keep all of her benefits, and he kept their daughter because she didn't want her. She would still be getting them, but she just got remarried.

Why did they get divorced and how long were they married? If he beat her or if he committed audultery, I know the military will continue certain benefits. Also, depending on the length of the marraige, sometimes the wife will be able to keep certain benefits.

Why did they get divorced and how long were they married? If he beat her or if he committed audultery, I know the military will continue certain benefits. Also, depending on the length of the marraige, sometimes the wife will be able to keep certain benefits.

I'm not sure how long they were together. They got divorced because they just weren't getting along anymore. I think a lot of it has to do with their daughter; they adopted her from Romania, and to put it mildly, she's psycho. She thinks that they 'stole' her from her real parents in Romania, she's suicidal, homicidal, goth, has been having sex since she was 13, etc...

So those people were probably married for at least 15 years.

It would take the right person. I don't care about marriage, so much as I like the concept of a life companion.

Weddings are always fun.

when kids, property, future investments, and having enough in assets where it actually matters comes to play well yea, but you still gotta love the person, regardless of what sexual orientation you subscribe too...


also a prenup means shit if you're broke BEFORE you get married. look, face it, either way, you're married X years, you'd have to be one vindictive asshole to not share anything...








there is a gigantic tax break for being married for a reason, its work, like a relationship but weighted a tad more...

Fucking gold digger. And ur the one that talks of fucking a shrink. Marriage is pointless unless its for razing kids, but thats just enslavement for men. No marriage=more $, no screaming kids.

I would only be a gold digger if I married a RICH man for his money. My husband is definitely middle class and not likely to die anytime soon, so I guess my evil plan has been thwarted.

No of course you aren't a gold digger but hand on heart Xiao your possible settlement stills seems excessive.

Of course half the house, half the savings and child support but the alimony seems way off the scale.

85% of the assests does smack of leeching, ain't no two ways about it.

However not being american I can't tell whats normal but if that is normal in Georgia then even I would be advising boys there to never marry.

Guess the Fem-nazis win again.

What you are forgetting is that my husband thinks that the settlement I outlined is a fair one...In fact he wanted me to have ALL of our savings, but I told him he would need some for himself. I mean hopefully none of this will ever be put into practice, but if there's one thing I've learned it's that not being prepared for any eventuality is the surest way to have things end badly.

I think divorces must be different here in the USA, because judging from the divorced women I know...My idea for a settlement isn't excessive at all.

What worries me a bit is you seem to be assuming that if you did divorce that it would be amicable.

Just because you and he discussed it, even while going through a rough patch, means jack shit when it comes down to it.

I know, I've been there and I've seen it countless times.

You sure that you'd get custody if it was a nasty split up? Even if its normal for kids to go to the mother where you are, I'll bet there is the possiblity for the father to contest.

Just from what you've posted on totse alone, any decent lawyer (dichotomy in terms much?) could twist to make you look like an unfit mother.

"Your honor, she has not only a record for illicit drug abuse,mental instabilty and is long term in therapy but publically boasts of her desire for her therapist. She herself is the product of a dysfunctional family. She is a regular contributor to an infamous website that promotes drug abuse among the youth of this great nation and terrorism. Her daily housework routine shows her to suffering from OCD"

Any bible belt judge is going to love that.Not saying your husband would use totse against you , just pointing out that no matter how good a mother you are (and I'm damn sure you are) that things can be twisted by the soon-to-ex-spouse.

Like I said, I know.


Anyway the fact your settlement seems unexcessive compared to others just confirms what a lot of us and especially a lot of younger men think already.

I hate to say it but in your own small way you're helping destroy the institute of marriage.

Well I doubt we'll get divorced, so I'm not contributing to the destruction of family values just yet.:P

My husband would never smear me in court no matter how much he hated me...Just like I would never do that to him. I know he wouldn't because of our daughter. He would never want her to hear terrible things about me or see me humiliated. I mean I know there are a lot of vindictive people out there, but my husband and I aren't amoung them.

Xiao....you COMPLETELY missed Jack's points, with the whole concept whooshing over your head at light speed. And this post above is incredibly naive, even moreso than what some of the kidiots post on here. I've seen divorces turn so ugly, you wouldn't even recognize the two parties after the fray. And your whole thing of...."he wouldn't do that to me in front of my daughter" is ridiculous. She wouldn't be in ANY of the court proceedings, unless she was older and the judge wanted to hear her take. And even THEN, it would be for just that part of the proceedings and not through all of the other stuff. Turn off the Lifetime channel and come back to reality.....you are only kidding yourself.

Yep, sooner or later your perfect little world is going to fall apart. You'll both feel a hatred for each other that runs through the core of your being, and will gleefully drag each other through every kind of filth as revenge for whatever you perceive you did to each other. It'll make "The War of the Roses" look like a polite disagreement. Your daughter will be used as a weapon by both sides, until one of you wins and bars the other from ever laying eyes on her again, leaving her completely heartbroken and hating you. I can't really speculate on what the catalyst for this change will be, but my guess is you'll wake up to the fact that you've only slept with two or three guys in your life (you married at 17, right?) and you'll run off and fuck someone with a bigger cock than your husband. He'll find out, and that'll be it. Oh yes, it will be brutal.

totse needs more women. We need more points to get this into a large debate but its Xiao Mei vs all men/teens/kidiots

Your a stronger person than me

:ahem:

Xiao, you're a bit deluded.

IF something happens and the shit hits the fan then don't be so naive to think your husband will keep with the plan, and likely neither will you if things get ugly.

I like marriages. They've got a lot of cultural phenoma tied up in them, they're fun for everyone, and at the very least they're a celebration of a relationship. It's something I think is pretty but not entirely necessary, in that I could have the same relationship with a woman I have married as I could with one I haven't. I think it's handy, considering the aforementioned legal and economic benefits.

I'd like to be married, if I find the right girl and I feel ready for it.

Yep, sooner or later your perfect little world is going to fall apart. You'll both feel a hatred for each other that runs through the core of your being, and will gleefully drag each other through every kind of filth as revenge for whatever you perceive you did to each other. It'll make "The War of the Roses" look like a polite disagreement. Your daughter will be used as a weapon by both sides, until one of you wins and bars the other from ever laying eyes on her again, leaving her completely heartbroken and hating you. I can't really speculate on what the catalyst for this change will be, but my guess is you'll wake up to the fact that you've only slept with two or three guys in your life (you married at 17, right?) and you'll run off and fuck someone with a bigger cock than your husband. He'll find out, and that'll be it. Oh yes, it will be brutal.
Why would it bother me that I've only slept with 2 guys? Also, if I DID cheat...I don't think it would be because the new guy had a bigger cock.:P

I mean think what you want, but I know that would never happen with my husband and I. We've weathered some pretty rough storms together including, jail time, infidelity, mental illness and financial ruin and we've come out of it with our love and respect for each other intact.

Xiao....you COMPLETELY missed Jack's points, with the whole concept whooshing over your head at light speed. And this post above is incredibly naive, even moreso than what some of the kidiots post on here. I've seen divorces turn so ugly, you wouldn't even recognize the two parties after the fray. And your whole thing of...."he wouldn't do that to me in front of my daughter" is ridiculous. She wouldn't be in ANY of the court proceedings, unless she was older and the judge wanted to hear her take. And even THEN, it would be for just that part of the proceedings and not through all of the other stuff. Turn off the Lifetime channel and come back to reality.....you are only kidding yourself.

I don't actually have television in my house, so I'm not being perverted by lifetime.:P And I know that some people do grow to hate each other, but we're just not like that. We've been married for almost 10 years and our sex life is still exciting, he still makes me laugh and every day when he gets home from work he still comes over and kisses me and he says he loves me and missed me all day and I tell him the same. I don't think it's naive for me to think that our love will last and that my husband would never try to hurt me.

Why would it bother me that I've only slept with 2 guys? Also, if I DID cheat...I don't think it would be because the new guy had a bigger cock.:P.

No, it'd have to be with a bearded 'father' or authority figure wouldn't it? :P

r, but we're just not like that. We've been married for almost 10 years and our sex life is still exciting, he still makes me laugh and every day when he gets home from work he still comes over and kisses me and he says he loves me and missed me all day and I tell him the same. I don't think it's naive for me to think that our love will last and that my husband would never try to hurt me.

If i had a dollar...

If i had a dollar...

Hehehe. :D

Well look at you, Jackketch...You've been married for like 20 years now and you guys have had your ups and downs, but now you have rediscovered the romance and things are going well for you again. You never used to talk about your wife as the woman you were in love with, but now you say nice things about her often and you talk about her and no one else as the woman you love. Just a couple of years ago all you ever said about her was that she was crazy and you couldn't wait to escape her.

Yeah look at me. My wife and I always said that NO matter what happened to us that we'd never use the kids as a weapon.

Even after I left her we still agreed that I could see the kids whenever they wanted and I'd have full (joint) custody.

Then one morning BANG.

No contact and she's going for sole custody (advised by one of her so loving friends).

As to whom I love nothing has changed there. I loved my wife when we married. The woman I lived with all these years wasn't her, you understand? Now, thanks to a single dose of ETC that woman is gone and my wife is back...more or less.

If I'd know I would have wired her up to the fucking mains years ago!

Well it's like you said...She wasn't herself when she used the kids against you. Thank god for that shock therapy, right? So she's completely cured?

Seems to be. She's at home in Germany for xmas at the moment and she's still on the drugs, and will be for the rest if her life probably (so the doc).

Then one morning BANG.

No contact and she's going for sole custody (advised by one of her so loving friends).


I was estimating on the benefits I would get in a divorce based on what women I know have been awarded in their divorces.

Uh, yeah.