So the other night, we're lying in bed, and I tell my gf that I have a confession to make: the previous Monday, I had a beer. She was pissed with me, but it really is nothing major at all (all about promises and breaking them, even though she's kinda exaggerated those promises). I asked her if she had any confessions to make - none, she told me.

Then later on, she changed her mind. "I kinda cheated on my first boyfriend" she said. Turns out "kinda" meant she'd given another guy head (i.e. not fucked him), about 18 months into their 2 year relationship. Her story was that she was quite aware by this time that their relationship had no future (despite other stories she's told me about her time with him, and that she thought she loved him because he was her first, etc etc, throughout their entire relationship until she met other men etc), and on this particular night, with their relationship being a bit long-distance and him being away, she was quite upset by other matters and was offered consolence by a male friend of hers, who she then sucked off.

This has been killing me since. I immediately referred to her family's history of cheating and that I wondered if commitment was gonna be especially hard for her because of this (this I should NOT have done, lol) and she got proper pissed at me - and thus I never got to really dwell on what she'd said because I was busy recovering the situation. But now I've had time to think about it, it's fucking with me a lot.

Firstly, she's always insisted she'd never cheated on any of her previous men, and that she never ever would, that she's not like that, etc etc. I'd seen an MSN log of hers talking to her first bf's best mate, and after he'd said about fancying her before his mate got in, she started saying about liking him and how she'd had dreams about them fucking and fantasised about it etc. I'd put this down to her nature - her insecurities and attention-seeking behaviour still comes through now and by her own account was a lot, lot worse a few years back when this was.

So basically, she's been lying about that all along and pretty adamantly lying too. Secondly, the more I think about it, head seems worse than just fucking the guy. I mean, at least in fucking she gets some physical enjoyment - sucking him would be purely psychological at best and just seems so... subservient? So desperate? I don't know...

And thirdly, her reasons were that she was extremely lonely, she felt unloved by her bf and was quite sure their relationship would be ending soon (even though she did her best to make it work for another six months).

Thing is, our relationship is long-distance while I work 5 days of the week, and thus only see her on weekends. She gets very lonely very easily when I'm not there, and it's driving me nuts now if she doesn't reply to my txts quickly etc... I can't get the thought out of my head - once a cheat always a cheat etc? She's given me all the reassurances she could possibly give me, in general she's much much more needy of me than I am of her (but having said that, she's a needy person in general) but she's totally sex-mad and craves attention, so I was always aware that it was possible - now I know it's happened before, I can't help but think it's now inevitable...

So yeah, bit long I know, any opinions? Anyone got any advice? I need a good night's sleep...

Well do you want honest feedback, or a good night's sleep?

Possible, yes. Inevitable no.

When you went to bed with her then both your slates got wiped clean.

Past is past.

If she cheats then she'll be cheating on YOU.

Think about it for a mo'

She'll cheat because YOU did something or didn't do something and then the opportunity came along.

She won''t cheat because she cheated on her Ex.

Not sure if that makes any sense :(

Despite what some people lead themselves to believe, people can and do change. She obviously feels guilty about her past actions, enough to at least come clean to you.

But if you don't trust her... then don't be with her. It's that simple.

This.

We've all made mistakes at one point or another. It's the lying part i'd have more of a problem with. And i'd definitely be paranoid after that if it was a long distance kinda thing.

I can't fight this shaking feeling that my ex was cheating on me. And I'll -never- know.

I'd seen an MSN log of hers talking to her first bf's best mate, and after he'd said about fancying her before his mate got in, she started saying about liking him and how she'd had dreams about them fucking and fantasised about it etc.



after you did this, the relationship is essentially over, you've obviously got trust issues, if you cant deal with em fuck her. Otherwise your going to keep thinking she's cheating on you. Dont bring it up either. I doubt she'll be happy with you spying on her.

Once a cheat, always a cheat. You probably will never be able to trust her again. Missing this critical piece from any relationship and it will begin to tailspin out of control. Trust is everything in a loving and healthy relationship.

Cut your losses and try not to drag the pain of separation out for months is all I can offer.

Words

There are two sides to every story.

Thing is, do you care about her past? She may have cheated on a previousl boyfriend, but that doesent mean she'd cheat on you. In a way it's good she had the honesty to fess up to somthing like that.

On the other side.. she sucked off some random friend after he comforted her because she was a little bit upset?
Wtf? What happens when you upset her? She going to go give anal to the next male friend that offers her a sympathetic ear?



All depends on how much you trust her, how much stuff you're willing to put up with and how likely it is for her to do something like that again. People change.

She is a slut.

Okay? Okay.

Maybe I'm wrong... But sucking off some dude just because your boyfriend is annoying you and the guy consoled you...

Slut.

after you did this, the relationship is essentially over, you've obviously got trust issues, if you cant deal with em fuck her. Otherwise your going to keep thinking she's cheating on you. Dont bring it up either. I doubt she'll be happy with you spying on her.

You're reading too much into it, it wasn't a deliberate search of chat logs (she doesn't keep them), it was stumbling upon a random file in her documents.

Despite what some people lead themselves to believe, people can and do change. She obviously feels guilty about her past actions, enough to at least come clean to you.

But if you don't trust her... then don't be with her. It's that simple.

Yeah I know, I don't let it show or anything - this thread is pretty much to help me see if I can really trust her right now. Not sure where I'm at with it. I know I'll get shit for this, but part of me kinda wants to cheat on her right now just so if the worst does happen with her faithfulness, then I wouldn't mind so much or feel so bad about it...

You had 1 beer? Nigga i had about 10 on saturday and it was a slow night.

not to mention:

http://i13.tinypic.com/835nnro.jpg

I'm jealous. Blow has been hard to find.

On topic: Ok, she cheated. Big deal. Don't give her a reason to. Attend to her needs but don't be her bitch. And keep her sexed up so she won't have any loose ended desires.

Why do you even talk about her past? The only thing you'll get from knowing the past of a girl you're really into is hurt or feelings of jealousy. It's too late for you to undo any of that, so just do your best to forget it, and from now on stop wasting your time talking about the past. If you can't do that, then just break up with her and start fresh with someone new.

Fuck that shit, end it.

You don't trust her and only see her a few days a week... its not going to work.

this



i dont know about other people but if I cheat theres reason that i cheated now that may or may not by my and/or her fault but theres always a reason

Interesting predicament. She has cheated before, but she said she never cheated though. Already she has broken the rules of trust in a relationship. Even more selfish is her getting pissed about a beer, when she sucked some guy off because she felt "lonely". Now you can't hold past relationships and situations against someone, but to think that those impulses are not still there would be naive. People do change, but cheating is something that I cannot fucking stand.

No your honor, I was lonely so I raped her. Is that okay? Lol, the shit women come up with to take no responsibility for shit. Fuck her man, if you want to be with her be with her, don't become a paranoid maniac though. That will only push her away to cheat sooner, and make you miserable.

Despite what some people lead themselves to believe, people can and do change. She obviously feels guilty about her past actions, enough to at least come clean to you.

But if you don't trust her... then don't be with her. It's that simple.

Are you female? If so, you're a fucking moron. If you're a man, then you got an excuse.

We've all made mistakes at one point or another. It's the lying part i'd have more of a problem with. And i'd definitely be paranoid after that if it was a long distance kinda thing.

I can't fight this shaking feeling that my ex was cheating on me. And I'll -never- know.

Lol, it's your ex does it even fucking matter?

You had 1 beer? Nigga i had about 10 on saturday and it was a slow night.

not to mention:

http://i13.tinypic.com/835nnro.jpg

You couldn't get more lame.

I'm jealous. Blow has been hard to find.

On topic: Ok, she cheated. Big deal. Don't give her a reason to. Attend to her needs but don't be her bitch. And keep her sexed up so she won't have any loose ended desires.

Ugh, here's another lame faggot.

this



i dont know about other people but if I cheat theres reason that i cheated now that may or may not by my and/or her fault but theres always a reason

You have got to be kidding me.....there is only one VERY VERY rare reason to cheat, and I doubt you had it fucker.

there is only one VERY VERY rare reason to cheat

Revenge?

Revenge?

I was going to say true love, but I'm a hopeless romantic ;)

You couldn't get more lame.

ORLY?

http://i5.tinypic.com/72k34uv.jpg

Ugh, here's another lame faggot.

Because now doing blow not only makes you lame, but GAY!!! /gasp

Are you female? If so, you're a fucking moron. If you're a man, then you got an excuse.

What does my gender have to do with anything?

fucking know-it-alls

ORLY?

http://i5.tinypic.com/72k34uv.jpg



Because now doing blow not only makes you lame, but GAY!!! /gasp

I really wasn't referring to his sexuality, but more using it as a way to describe what I think of his behavior. You know, in relation to society's general "take" on homosexuality. That is the correlation, fag.

What does my gender have to do with anything?

fucking know-it-alls

Look at that, how typical. Doesn't even want to realize why gender matters. You don't want answers or solutions to problems so I am guessing you are female. Especially since you threw out the "What does gender have to do with anything?" sentiment. That is why you are a problem, and why I label you as I see fit. You guessed it, with the word "moron".

Do you feel better about yourself now? ...Super. Whatever gets you to sleep at night.

If it wasn't obvious enough, I was faintly queuing you to elaborate. Though, I doubt it's even worth it at this point. All you'll do is jeer further into your knee-jerk judging, because you apparently have me all figured out. Silly, simple man.

No, I don't have you figured out. There are an infinite amount of things that I could never guess and would have to know you personally to understand.

That doesn't mean that your post I quoted didn't make me want to call you a moron. Which I did, which left us at this point. Yes I realize you find it hard to swallow your pride, especially when I am being very aggressive in handling you. That is why you didn't straight up ask me why gender mattered without a touch of attitude.

Plus who would of thought a She Devil would be so sensitive?

How do you expect me to not return attitude when served it? This has nothing to do with sensitivity, but is an issue of respect.

In any case, how does difference in gender apply to this situation? I would like know where you're coming form. I acknowledge the fact that gender plays a significant role in many matters, but I fail to see why my post constitutes me a "moron" simply because I'm female, and not if I happened to be male. Because you disagree with me? Oh what shining bearer of wisdom you are.

Yes your attitude was warranted. I really was just giving you a hard time to see what you would say, and it seems like you resorted to trying to establish a neutral ground. So should I just blindly give you respect? I don't think so.

As to your question about why if you were female you would be called a moron. Women know women, and women will and do cheat at the drop of a hat. Obviously since she already sucked a guy off for nothing more then an attempt at filling a "lonely" void. She is susceptible to break down in emotional situations. What has changed since then? Besides space and time and room for her to think, "Well I was drunk....".

You are making it seem like she can change, which might be possible. However she has already showed that she was so self-conscious in the beginning to not saying, and is now bringing it up?

Why? Feels like a trap to me, either to push him away or to keep him near to her. I think it is possible she actually wants to end the relationship and she might even be cheating already. As a woman you should know better than any man the types of games little girls play. I mean, you were a little girl once, weren't you?

My current girlfriend has cheated on a past boyfriend too, only once though. Honestly though, it doesn't bother me. Their relationship does not reflect our relationship. I think that if you were confident committing with her before, you should still be able to be confident in her committing to you now.

Yeah, but the OP doesn't seem very confident in his pussy getting skills. Honestly I wouldn't care if she cheated on a previous boyfriend, because I would just dump her ass if she told me that. Yes, sorry I don't condone cheating and I would probably push her to lie to all her boyfriends from that point on. Oh well, you kill someone you're labeled as a murderer.

You cheat you're labeled as a cheater.

5char

If she cheats then she'll be cheating on YOU.

Think about it for a mo'

She'll cheat because YOU did something or didn't do something and then the opportunity came along.

She won''t cheat because she cheated on her Ex.

Not sure if that makes any sense :(

Yeah, having read that through again tonight I see your point - it's her natural propensity to cheat that kinda bothers me, and whether she has a high one (i.e. would take less provocation from me to do it).

Yeah, but the OP doesn't seem very confident in his pussy getting skills. Honestly I wouldn't care if she cheated on a previous boyfriend, because I would just dump her ass if she told me that. Yes, sorry I don't condone cheating and I would probably push her to lie to all her boyfriends from that point on. Oh well, you kill someone you're labeled as a murderer.

You cheat you're labeled as a cheater.

My "pussy getting skills" are just fine (check the photo threads, I'm hot as fuck) but 6 months of intense relationship is exactly that - something that gets you quite attached, and "in love" (if not with the girl, with the relationship, if you get me).

Really not sure where I stand on this still. I'm doing a bit more now to get a few other girl options under my wings to really test my own loyalty, probably the best way forward?

the many faces of jca-?

http://i214.photobucket.com/albums/cc138/jca-/image2007-08-26_1906.38.jpg?t=1196820070

"hot stuff, I think you'll agree"

http://i214.photobucket.com/albums/cc138/jca-/image2007-08-26_1906.46.jpg?t=1196820067

"I can't actually think of a hilarious comment referencing to my biceps as gunpowder-based weapons at this time..."

http://i214.photobucket.com/albums/cc138/jca-/image2007-08-20_1531.10.jpg?t=1196820070

"the supposed generic emo pose, that isn't *actually* "emo" at all"

hahahahahah.

hahah.

/thread

-F☺rd

Cheating's only as big a deal as YOU make it.

My "pussy getting skills" are just fine (check the photo threads, I'm hot as fuck) but 6 months of intense relationship is exactly that - something that gets you quite attached, and "in love" (if not with the girl, with the relationship, if you get me).

Really not sure where I stand on this still. I'm doing a bit more now to get a few other girl options under my wings to really test my own loyalty, probably the best way forward?

Yeah...like I said, pussy getting skills.