I'm always thinking of others. Thinking about how my actions will affect other people, and being fair and courteous to others.

It's horrible. Very very very few people are like me so all i neded up doing is inadvertantly yielding to peoples asshole tendencies. The vast majority of people are mindless and don't give a thought to any one else, or how what they do affects others.

Any ideas on how I can change this? Without being a dick if it all possible.

Since you're a kiwi, I won't make this a retarded post, think of it as "vip discount", but I'll reserve this place for when I think of something sensible to say.

EDIT: you have to be a dick, it's nice to be nice to other people, but when they aren't nice to you back, fuck em. Just start being ignorant.

You think about your actions...Think of them this way "Do I care?"

Seriously mate, if you want to do or say something but you think it may offend someone, think "Do I care?"
The key is letting your caring side take a back seat every so often.

While it's good to be polite and curteous (I am most of the time), it can be healthy to say fuck it and do what you want.

you dont owe anyone shit, they can handle themselves.

its great you have those morals and i would say it makes you a better person than most of your friends. but you got to realize they'd be fine without you, and your courtesy really probably doesnt make a difference in their life. and if you continue to act as you have, you wont be respected and usually will get walked on. its just how we've been bred in the west. so my best suggestion to you is to realize that no one really gives that much of a shit about courtesy, or at least if they say they do you wont really matter that much to them anyway. for everyday life, you are the focus...youll be happier that way.

now if someones going to fall from building, or your friend asks you for a favor thats a totally different situtation and your morals are definitely of use there. but otherwise, everyone can take care of themselves, and you are no-ones bitch, placing others before yourself for trivial things will just get you walked on.

My Ol' Man gave some advice as a kid that I've always remembered.

Walk Soft And Carry A Big Stick.

(ie be friendly, polite but know you ARE the meanest motherfucker in the valley).

Mentally draw the line, what you will accept and what you won't. Give fair warning and if they then don't listen you smack them in the gob.

Politely of course.

I don't understand exactly what you are saying. I fancy myself to have the manners of a gentleman when I am dealing with others, but this is not the same as letting people take advantage of me and/or walk on me.

Courtesy and self-respect are not mutually exclusive.

My Ol' Man gave some advice as a kid that I've always remembered.

Walk Soft And Carry A Big Stick.

Tis better known as "speak softly and carry a big stick", a West African proverb that was a personal favorite of American President Teddy Roosevelt.

I don't understand exactly what you are saying. I fancy myself to have the manners of a gentleman when I am dealing with others, but this is not the same as letting people take advantage of me and/or walk on me.

Courtesy and self-respect are not mutually exclusive.

Eh, it's just minor stuff usually. Say if I'm walking down the street and someones approaching me, I'll move slightly to one side to accomodate them (whether they're young, old, big, small, male or female I might add), they won't budge an inch.

Or I won't complain about minor things my flatmates do that piss me off, but they'll complain about all sorts of minor crap.

Or I'll cop a lot of flack (good natured or not) and won't respond back in kind because I consider that reasonably lame.

When it's major stuff I tend to ovverreact and get very vocal/angry/violent...usally inappropriately so...., it's just all these tiny minor things in my day I keep quiet about. I dunno it's starting to add up.

Maybe if I vented more with the smaller things I wouldn't blow up so much at the bigger things.

It's just hard to get out of this mindset of wanting to avoid confrontation when I can.

Tis better known as "speak softly and carry a big stick", a West African proverb that was a personal favorite of American President Teddy Roosevelt.

Maybe but as far as I am aware its Irish in origin "Walk soft and carry a blackthorn staff' I think.

Eh, it's just minor stuff usually. Say if I'm walking down the street and someones approaching me, I'll move slightly to one side to accomodate them (whether they're young, old, big, small, male or female I might add), they won't budge an inch.

heres a social experiment...when someones about to do this keep walking in a straight line, and when they make eye contact with you, meet their gaze and let them be the one to break it. theyll get out of your way.

dont take shit from anyone, you dont deserve it.

heres a social experiment...when someones about to do this keep walking in a straight line, and when they make eye contact with you, meet their gaze and let them be the one to break it. theyll get out of your way.

dont take shit from anyone, you dont deserve it.

but why? why the hell can't just people be polite and make room?

Like I said I do it for everyone, whether they look like they're a match for me in a fight or not.

Do you do this? do you feel like a bigger man for it? do you think people fear you? I don't understand this mindset.

but why? why the hell can't just people be polite and make room?

Like I said I do it for everyone, whether they look like they're a match for me in a fight or not.

Do you do this? do you feel like a bigger man for it? do you think people fear you? I don't understand this mindset.

i absolutely agree with you man. and i was exactly like you too.


individualism is huge in any country thats been introduced to westernism at all. and it fuels the "i'm the best" philosophy, we're all animals, captalism and western culture have just made it easier to express those tendancies. its funny teddy roosevelt was brought up because he was a huge proponent of the "rugged individualism" type of thinking. a lot of shit you see is competition to be dominant, in the animal kingdom thats what survives the best and gets the most sex, you could argue that its instinct. in anysense, yes i agree it's shit.

hell, its driven me to pursue work abroad. a lot of my international friends that come to school here(canada), are really surprised at that philosophy here because the majority of the unwesternized world practices communialism, where courtesy is a massive part of society...

i would absolutely fare better in a society like that. but until i'm finished with school, im here. fuck it, i wont let anyone walk on me. especially those that dont give a flying fuck about me.

Walk Soft And Carry A Big Stick.


The SpaceMarines took that and made it "walk softly and carry a big gun" which works better.




As for thread starters problem.. I dont know. I'm working on it.
Generally I'll yield to people and their assholishness if it doesent really put me out much. It's easier to bend than break, see?

I just don't care, people come and go, the good ones stick around the dumb ones fuck off. I'm a dick but I know alot of people and their good buddies, the people I was a dick to and wouldn't see past it I don't need em.

Think like that.

....you ARE the meanest motherfucker in the valley).

I love that prayer! :D

I'll usually move halfway. If a person is elderly or two people are obviously dating, then I'll move out of the way completely. However, people often move out of the way for me. It simply goes back and forth.

The other day a guy was trying to be tough and walk through me, so I just let him walk into me and fall down. There's no loss of pride in moving halfway or acknowledging that someone's coming and moving out of the way.

If you move halfway, then 90% of the time, they'll move the other half.