I have been in my first real relationship for 11 months now. I am just turned 20 and she is 18. We moved into a flat together at the 9 month mark. She is the best girlfriend one could ask for. She is a very cute little blondie, always gets asked out by guys (eg. the other day at the traffic lights a guy told her he would leave his current partner for her)
She does all the housework, since I moved in I haven't lifted a finger. We have sex whenever I ask for it and she is always wanting to please me. She says she loves me and that we are going to get married. She says her other boyfriends in the past don't compare to me.

We connect, but at the same time I feel that I don't connect to her in some ways. She is not as smart as me, I know that for a fact and she can be rather stubborn when she thinks she is right and does silly things quite often (just little things). I have told her more things that anyone I have ever known and she knows what I am thinking by looking at me. I tell her things but she already knows it.

Anyway back on topic, she is the most unique and adoring girl I've ever met. I lost my virginity to her she lost hers to me. The way she looks up at me when we are sleeping with her big blue eyes make it really hard to ever want to leave her. She said I am never allowed to leave her because she wouldn't cope.

Now onto the problem. I want to experience life. I want to travel the world. I want to have a big OE and have an insane trip through Europe full of booze, drugs and hot European women. She is a good ex-christian girl. She said she will follow me anywhere but she doesn't have that outgoing take on the world characteristic that you need to do something like that. Also what is the fun traveling when you aren't single?

I am 20. I haven't experienced life yet. I don't want to settle down but at the same time I love her and I can't stand the thought of her being with someone else. I am scared I will never find another girl like her. I sometimes think about other girls and what it would be like to have a relationship with someone else other than her.. would it be better? worse?

At the same time there are some very important qualities missing. The biggest is the outgoing factor. I love to party and go out while she loves to sit and watch movies on a Friday night. I feel like that is a waste of my youth. Am I right on this? her intelligence is very different to mine. I have a very logical programmer way of thinking while she can analyze anyone as soon as she see's them and tell you how they are. She is also very understanding when it comes to people.

Life has got a little more boring since I moved in with her.. I miss going out and having good times with the boys every weekend without a care in the world. I feel like this is how I should be living at the moment and not feeling like I have settled down.

Is it wrong for me to not want to settle down at 20? Even though I love her? Should I move on? I just feel like I'm wasting my youth. I only live once and spending my youth with one special female could be great but I feel the need to experience other relationships at the same time. This leads me to another question... At the age of 20 what would a typical life of a guy be like? Should he be out doing what he wants with no real ties? I feel like I should... I just want opinions/experiences...

I hear lots of guys talk about the ideal girl... the girl who cooks/cleans, doesn't slut around, always puts out. Why do I feel the need to leave?

I am not sure what I asked out of all this.. there are questions all over this post but I haven't bothered summarizing. You will see what my main dilemma is though. I just have no idea what I want. I feel better already writing this down.. Someone please give me advice, this is weighing on my mind greatly..

If you do dump her ass, you'll probably end up doing nothing but whackin' off in your neighbours tool shed and be like "Damn, wtf man".

Or you could just be smart and compromise or something. You don't have to spend all your time with her, do you? Damn, do relationships get like this when you're older? I too have been in your situation when I'm like "for fucks sake, bitch! I don't wanna go to the fucking zoo, I wanna get blind drunk with my mates!"

But anyways, you're 20. And lets face it, you ain't getting any younger. But hey, in the end you gotta do what's right for you. WHAT DO YOU WANNA DO?

Well... I think the relationship is doomed anyway if you have these feelings. You may be able to hold them back now, but sooner or later they will get the best of you.

If you want to go the 'Sex, Drugs, Rock n Roll' route go for it. But only if that's what you really want. I decided to just stay away from relationships and party after my ex dumped me after over a year (ironically for the reasons you are talking about)... I haven't looked back since, having the best time of my life.

Either you are trolling or you definitely don't have your priorities right. You have a g/f that I am assuming is 100% loyal (good), cooks/cleans/whatever else (good), and has sex whenever (very good). And unless neither of you has cheated, and based on what you have said - very unlikely, there is 0% chance of stds. So this would mean unlimited unprotected sex. Just say you want to get drunk once a week w/ friends. If it's with all guys and you trust each other I highly doubt there would be any problems. From the looks of it, you have it made. Anything else would just be a downgrade, unless thats what you want. Your choice.

Btw, this is coming from a 19y/o who has already dealt with uber bitch girlfriends, random sex that I thought was possible HIV (wasn't). "Living" as you put it isn't worth it IMHO.

grow the fuck up and don't miss this opportunity.

15-20 should've been more than enough time for all the drugs,promiscuity and experimenting. If what you're saying about this girl is all true, you really have found a needle in a haystick and millions of guys would like to be in your place. Don't take a chance because finding a girl who loves you deeply, cooks/cleans, and fucks you on demand without asking for a whole lot of money/greatlooks/etc in return (unless that is your situation) TWICE is not likely at all.

You're one of the few people who can say you've found someone amazing, but if you want to waste this opportunity do it, some other guy will appreciate her.

Dude, dump that bitch and go party.

But please give me her number when you do, because I'm dying for a woman like that.

shes very spiritual and sees energy and she actually see's peoples spirits though she didn't tell me for 6 months because she thought I would freak out. (I didn't because I know there is more to this world than we can see) She said they are everywhere, sometimes they are in the room when we are sleeping but she has just learnt to ignore them.



Stopped reading somewhere around all the spirit bullshit

The grass is always greener...

Guys that spend their lives partying always secretly lust for that one good girl.

And the guys that find that girl early on always long for the reckless decadence of the first guys.

The grass is always greener...

Guys that spend their lives partying always secretly lust for that one good girl.

And the guys that find that girl early on always long for the reckless decadence of the first guys.

QFT

I was in a position much like the OP but fuck I'm 20 years old, there are a million other woman and no matter how good the girl, it's not worth sacrificing my dreams. And seriously, how much do I really know about love? Not a lot. Everybody thinks they know what it is.
Of course, I'm the kind of guy that doesn't want kids and isn't ever going to marry though.

Cheers guys, I think you have helped me make my decision.

Dude, you can't say that and not tell us what it is.

I'm like you. The grass is always greener on the other side for me. I must have change in my life constantly to be happy. Over the last few years, I've found this to be true for more and more aspects. It's really kind of disconcerting; I wish I could just be happy with what I have.
It's true. The party guys are all secretly looking for the good girl, and the guys who found her but never got to be in the previous party-all-the-time lifestyle think they're missing out. It truly sucks.

I think if I were you, I'd realize that those feelings would never go away for me. You have to experience the other side yourself to truly decide that what you have now is special and you wouldn't give it up for the world. If she's as understanding as you say she is, maybe you should consider bringing up the possibility of a break. But you must emphasize that it's only temporary. You would then be free to go out and do whatever the fuck you want with whoever you want, and when (not if) you realize that you've had enough and just want to come back to her, you will. And you'll be glad that you proved to yourself first hand just how amazing your relationship is.

The only way you would be able to do this however is if she agrees to it fully. If she does, she is truly golden, in my opinion. Good luck.

The only way you would be able to do this however is if she agrees to it fully. If she does, she is truly golden, in my opinion. Good luck.

If she would agree to a thing like that she's a spineless moron.

Also, the part about "seeing spirits" was hilarious.

But in the end, there was no reason to come to Totse. If you are even seriously having thoughts like this, you ought to leave her promptly. Things like this only get worse with time, but just remember that when you hit rock bottom you are going to miss her like a son of a bitch.

But seriously, sail her number this way pilgrim, I could use a woman like her.

The grass is always greener...

Guys that spend their lives partying always secretly lust for that one good girl.

And the guys that find that girl early on always long for the reckless decadence of the first guys.

I wasn't trying to help. I was trying to fuck him up and get his girl.

I have been in my first real relationship for 11 months now. I am just turned 20 and she is 18. We moved into a flat together at the 9 month mark...I lost my virginity to her...have an insane trip through Europe full of booze, drugs and hot European women...Also what is the fun travelling when you aren't single?

You didn't lose your virginity until you were 19, or possibly even 20. I highly doubt you aren't a loser overall when it comes to the ladies, this girl is just an anomaly. Don't expect hot European women to be all over you during this trip you want to take when it took you until 19 or 20 just to get it in for the first time, and even then it took a girl that is literally obsessed with you.

I, for one, would be happy with this situation.

But I can see why you would want to explore more.

I think you have to figure out whether or not she is The One or if she's just somebody that you love, somebody you're really close to.

You don't want to lose The One, but it might not be the right time for her if she's just a really great girl.

I dunno, it's a tough situation, I feel for you.

Basically I'm going to stick with it, I'm not unhappy so there is no reason to break it off. I just have moments when I wish I wasn't in a relationship but I'm going to have to get over it. I had a few beers before I posted the original post so thats why the spirit part is in it.. I didn't elaborate properly and most people wouldn't understand so I'll edit it out... lol

About the idea of a break, she just wouldn't do it. She can't stand the thought of me being with other girls. However if time passes and I feel more and more agitated it might come to this as a last resort. It could be something worth asking.

The reason I didn't lose my V plates until I was 19, was because I was a noob through my teenage years, was addicted to online games and I hit puberty late. I'm past all that now and I am sort of a catch.. haha

Cheers for the comments, I wanted to see what type of opinions were out there and basically whether I am alone in thinking like that.

To Jojabr you and I seem quite similar. A life without change scares the fuck out of me.

Dude, I was in pretty much the exact same situation.

I too was a loser for all my younger years, but later on I changed a lot. I don't know if I'm a catch, but I'm above average in most categories.
Anyways, I wrote a long text explaining the situation but I decided that I always make things too long and boring, so I'll replace it with a shorter version.

The girl was awesome in a lot of ways, but I wanted to try something more exciting, hotter. I wanted the free life, I wanted to sex sexy chicks.

It ended up real shitty though. It's been a couple of months, and there's been like 2 days where I've had no contact with my ex. We talk online all the time, and we hang out every now and then. She's completely madly in love with me still, and is so convinced that I was the one... So I now feel like the shittiest person ever.

Still, it may have been the right thing. I hate to think of it, but maybe she'll eventually find something better. I mean does she deserve a guy that wants to bork other chicks?
Nope.

But then again, in 20 years, will I regret dumping her? Was she some kinda soulmate? Was she the one? I could easily imagine us getting old together.

Eh now it got all long and incoherent which I didn't want it to but... Look buddy, chances are that these ideas/feelings are gonna come and chase you again later on. And the problem is that no one can really help you, there is no solution.

You take a fucking chance. If you stick with her, you'll always wonder about the grass on the other side. As difficult as it was, I decided that it was only right for me to try it out. Sure it's selfish, but I have to live with myself the rest of my life.

I'm thinking that if I'm lucky, I'll go and live the crazy life, but realize that she was way better and I can go back to her. If I'm unlucky, when I finally realize the crazy life sucks, she's taken, and I have to find someone else. But who knows, maybe that girl will be even better.

Thank you Blacksails your post has given me some perspective. I am a very independent person. I have been all my life. I also want to bonk other chicks but at the same time I am able to hold those feelings back.

If it gets to the stage where I just can't contain the feelings anymore the relationship will have to end. Theres no doubt. The thing is I don't know what an ideal relationship is. This is the biggest problem and like you said a risk. Oh well we will see.

I think the push will come to shove when I decide to go overseas. That is when the big decision will be made. I am living in a shitty city at the moment and so I "think" I am quite happy with the relationship. Yeah anyway thank you.