its amazing what shit sticks with you in your mind.

i have a pyschosis. well, perhaps not entirely. These two phobias of mine are really closely intertwined as i see it.

I cannot fucking stand torture. Violence in general, doesnt faze me much, but the act of being helpless and getting hurt represents a total mindfuck for me.

now on a related note, I cannot fucking stand infidelity in a comitted relationship. Dont get me wrong, I couldnt give a flying fuck if i get cheated on and she leaves me, thats fair game in my book. but the thought of her cheating on me and not telling me and deciding to STAY, makes me furious beyond belief.

now, im a second year university student and I can honestly say beyond any doubt that my perception of people within the lense of relationships, has deteriorated to the point that i want the fuck out of mine, (probably based soley on unfounded paranoia).

Girls and guys both cheat, and as anecdotal as you may think it is, I swear to fucking god ive seen more girls fuck their partners over with "flings" than i believe anyone should ever have to see. and its to the point that Im starting to believe its more common for girls to cheat.

so, after an assignment from a first year course on evolutionary-psychology where we read pieces on human sexuality ive become even more jaded. Apparently, both sexes are "hardwired" to cheat. males have the old "spread the seed" mentality, and apparently females are genetically desgined to find a reliable, longterm guy to support them, and then fuck a more masculine, better gene'd male during ovulation and trick the reliable man into raising the child. thats cuckolding in a nutshell, and it unfortunately represents basic human instinct(its not a concious decision.)

and my basic thoughts are there have to be some people that are strong enough to overcome any desires to stray. but jesus, i havent met many of them.

also, this is NOT isolated to just university, the majority of my friends are from outside the university and range in age from about 20 to 35. A good number of them been fucked over in similar fashion. i just cant get my fucking head around it.

once again, i do not have a problem with a girl liking someone else and leaving, infact i'd perfer if she did that she'd do so. but god damnit, i cannot stand the whole stray and stay bullshit. the purose of a mother fucking relationship is to stay exculsive, if you want that shit go hookup with some swinging fuck.

Heres some of the shit ive been compulsively reading the past month or so. its disgustingly habit forming for me.
http://www.epjournal.net/filestore/ep021223.pdf

my own twist on the infidelity ratio between the sexes is this. Guys that want to fuck around in their relationships the majority of the time have to pursue opporunities to do so. I mean i'll get girls that fancy me, but ultimately the balls in my court should anything ever come of that.

On the other hand girls, get continually actively pursued, so getting laid is that much fucking easier, and at the end of the day that much more of a god damn temptation.

needless to say, ive got trust issues with almost everyone ive ever met.

That was a very intriguing post, allthough I admit to not really understanding parts of it.

Thing is, you said you're in Uni, right? At that age alot of people are still going to be going through the young and free stage and wanting to fuck everything. I agree it's absolutely fucking wrong for people to cheat, but it's something that decreases with age.

..I hope..

well, i knew that it could be marginalized to just a college problem.

But, ive made a concious point of not hanging around the university and students since coming here last year. Most of my friends are either graduated or never went to uni(20-mid 30s). so no, i dont know the older population much at all, my parents made a strong effort to keep me seperated from things their friends and aquaintences may have done.(anything from cheating to any matter they considered "dark" haha.)

which has a strange effect, because you gain perspective once you get older and see these people you once idolized as a child as completly different people.

So you think your girlfriend is cheating on you?

Like you, the idea of my girlfriend cheating on me behind my back but staying with me sickens me, but I trust her and know it won't happen.

Maybe when you find someone you can trust completely, the paranoia will fade.

Your disgust at the human race isn't so much a bad thing, pretty much everything you pointed out is true... but there is nothing you can really do about it so either get over it or jump off a bridge.

Yeah it's generally smart to not trust the human race. Sure, like them. But trust them? nooooo

i think people have a lot of redeeming qualities, however as far as attraction goes...nah i dont believe thats legitmate, real love. You loving a friend, a brother, a parent no matter what yes thats real thats legitmate, because that exists as part of your decision making process. not to completly trivialize romantic love, but it hinges on feeling and emotion...neither of the two are dependable and in my view, neither represent legitmate love.

ive found its generally not a good idea to place trust in feelings.


as far as the possiblity of my girlfriend cheating, i honestly have next to no reason to believe that, outside of being in a long distance relationship. she consistantly pressures marriage and i know she geniunely loves me. i just really dont trust anyone as far as relationships go, and i dont know if i'll ever have the ability to do so.



ive just reflected on this a shitload recently in part because im watching "love-triangle" type shit go on between my two neighbors. Neighbor 1(call him john) holds a relationship with a girl that lives not too far from us, they see eachother every day and i'm often around and the seem happy and completely loving. well neighbor 2(call him george) is a good friend of mine that happened to sleep with John's(neighbor 1) girlfriend. Now, she'll go to him from time to time just for a quick tryst with george and then in the same fucking night will go back to her boyfriend and act as if NOTHING happened. She'll kiss him as if nothing has transpired, and it got me thinking.

i mean jesus this girl seems really fuckin innocent, but shes holding this fucking ruse like shes going to win an oscar. its impeccable really, i can rarely see through it. Now, naturally the next thought in that chain of logic is..."jesus, has this ever happened to me?"

and its fucked with my ability to trust anyone im involved with.

First off, tell John about George. Every man deserves to know when this shit is going down.

Secondly, don't worry about being disgusted at college broads. We've said it before, you can't find a meaningful relationship in a college bar/club. You can get laid with great ease there, but no relationship worth pursuing will be found at a club.

So the next time you're at a mall and you see a woman browsing books in the bookshop, TALK TO HER. Your chances that she's not going to be an immature cunt are greatly increased. Also look for girls with strong ties to their extended family, they tend not to be cunts.

Good luck, don't let it get you down. At least you know that for the next 2-3 years you've got an endless supply of easy pussy in case you can't get any.

nah ryko, i dont hang out with the university crowd. and im not so young as to think of clubs or bars as dating scenes period. as i responded earlier most of my friends have around 5-15 years on me, conversations better and theyre just more what i would call "real" people than those ive met at uni. Sure, i dont know 40 year olds in established marriages, but the friends I do have are most certainly not niave enough to start relationships with "college sluts" or pick up at bars. MOST of them have realized that. However, that doesnt mean they arent getting fucked over by the girls we'd love to comfortably place in our "loyal" subcatagory. and to be fair, i know a few that fuck over their girlfriends as well.

i really do fuckin wish this problem was like you said, isolated to college sluts. my mind would be at complete ease. however, the reality of this from what ive observed is pretty fuckin universal across the age groups.

and i bring this up distinctly because im watching this happen in happy, otherwise healthy relationships. in a shit one, sure its pretty much fair game, but if youre telling him/her you love them and then going off to fuck around only to come back later that night as if nothings happened. jesus.



as for george and john. im friends with both of em, and even better friends with the guy whos cheating. its an awful position, and i told him that if i catch wind of it happening again its going to become public knowledge. i dont feel there was a better way to approach the problem.

nah ryko, i dont hang out with the university crowd. and im not so young as to think of clubs or bars as dating scenes period. as i responded earlier most of my friends have around 5-15 years on me, conversations better and theyre just more what i would call "real" people than those ive met at uni. Sure, i dont know 40 year olds in established marriages, but the friends I do have are most certainly not niave enough to start relationships with "college sluts" or pick up at bars. MOST of them have realized that. However, that doesnt mean they arent getting fucked over by the girls we'd love to comfortably place in our "loyal" subcatagory. and to be fair, i know a few that fuck over their girlfriends as well.

i really do fuckin wish this problem was like you said, isolated to college sluts. my mind would be at complete ease. however, the reality of this from what ive observed is pretty fuckin universal across the age groups.

and i bring this up distinctly because im watching this happen in happy, otherwise healthy relationships. in a shit one, sure its pretty much fair game, but if youre telling him/her you love them and then going off to fuck around only to come back later that night as if nothings happened. jesus.



as for george and john. im friends with both of em, and even better friends with the guy whos cheating. its an awful position, and i told him that if i catch wind of it happening again its going to become public knowledge. i dont feel there was a better way to approach the problem.

For the John/George problem, I wouldn't have threatened George. That's how fights start.

But as for women, don't worry about it. You can always go to Japan and get yourself a nice submissive wife that won't fuck around.

That's what me and Silent Mind are planning to do when we go :P Lots of chicks want to marry for a green card.

For the John/George problem, I wouldn't have threatened George. That's how fights start.

But as for women, don't worry about it. You can always go to Japan and get yourself a nice submissive wife that won't fuck around.

That's what me and Silent Mind are planning to do when we go :P Lots of chicks want to marry for a green card.

haha oi. i'm actually prepping to live in china once i get university out of the way. it is true. very true.

I have a hard time trusting people as it is, let alone with this.

Thanks, you just scored a minus five for humanity in my book.

Plus, my mouse is broken and it's pissing me the fuck off.