So there's this fine chick I've been admiring for a little while whom catches my train, usually by herself. She wears this short, plaid skirt and she has the best legs I've ever seen. I'm 15 and I think she around the same age, maybe 16. I really want to approach her, and I know how to act and stuff, I'm a good looking guy....but i just don't know what to say.

How do I march in there and start talking to her? What about? I need something good that can hold a conversation, or get her interested.

P.S. Out of curiosity, what are my chances? I'm aiming for msn/number and talking to her on the train every day. The fact that she catches my train means she lives in my area as well, which is good.

you could start with "hey, im _____........."

If you've got anything to give you a confidence boost to talk to her, take it. Any kind of Benzo's or Opiods will not let you down, other then that, acting natural will get you far.
Maybe something like 'Hey I know speaking on the train is un-heard of (Well, in uk it is) but I thought i'd come say hi.'

She'd have to be some kind of psycho to be mean to that, think about it seriously.

This is too true...Too true.

It is possible to talk to someone on the train...I've done it a few times. A couple I was drunk and/or on co-codamol so it made it easier...But it is possible to do.

Just a simple "scuse me darlin...Sorry to disturb you, but what are you listening to?" (Most birds are listening to iPods now days) and take it from there.

Or you could just say "You have the best legs I've ever seen!" :p

Just ask if you could sit beside her one morning. Make a bit of small chat and take it from there. I often dont start speaking to people on trains. However I always do it on easyjet flights though(dunno why?!) and have met some pretty sound folk.

Just dont think about it too much because you will work yourself up and you will say stupid things.

"Excuse me, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Basically, follow this: http://youtube.com/watch?v=m75g_A731q0

/or on co-codamol so it made it easier...

Watch him, hes on the hard stuff now!
But seriously, I didn't now it could have a recreative effect.

Cut through the fear. Man up and grow a pair. Be direct, honest and polite. Nobody likes playing fucking guessing games.

Introduce yourself. Tell her exactly how you feel, and let her know that it's okay if she isn't interested.

Make it an experiment.

This is ridiculous.

I can almost guarantee that this girl has a boyfriend if she is truly as pleasing as you say she is. I can also almost guarantee that the guy is at least a couple of years older than her, so if you look your age, you're probably not even in the race. You are also 15, so you do not have a car and I doubt you have a job with sufficient money.

Yes, I know what you are all going to say. This is all assuming that she is a superficial bitch, but guess what? The vast majority of good-looking 16 year old girls are.

It seems like every young woman 15-25 has a boyfriend that is 5-10 years older. It is like Byss says, these guys buy them nice gifts and drive cars and it makes them feel like their safe.

You could probably become her "friend", but I don't know if you can fuck her.

Not really. I'm 19, and my boyfriend just turned 20.

DO NOT SAY EXCUSE ME!!!!

Jesus, what are you excusing yourself for? Unless you let rip a loud fart as you walk over to her, you have nothing to excuse yourself for.

Just walk over to her, sit so you're at her eye level, either beside her or across, lean back, and say "can I get the sports page" if she's reading a newspaper, or if you've got on headphones, take them off as you sit down and ask "do you like megadeath (or whatever you're listening to)".

If you've got absolutely no hook whatsoever, just sit down and say "You take the train North(or south, east, west, w/e) right, would you happen to know how to get to "arbitrary location".

I'm meeting up some mates for a round and I've never been here before" It doesn't matter if it's true or not, you're just starting a conversation. After you get her talking, just let it flow naturally and keep her talking. If you get a silence you'll pussy out and not re-engage the conversation smoothly, so make sure you keep her interested.

Jesus, how hard is it to approach a woman?

Confidently walk up to her and give her a firm smack on the ass. Tell her your name, address, and to meet you at your place tonight, but not to wear anything "complicated." It never fails. If it does, then the problem is obviously you.

DO NOT SAY EXCUSE ME!!!!
Just walk over to her, sit so you're at her eye level, either beside her or across, lean back, and say "can I get the sports page" if she's reading a newspaper, or if you've got on headphones, take them off as you sit down and ask "do you like megadeath (or whatever you're listening to)".


was that a wayne's world reference? in any case, it was pretty funny to me

was that a wayne's world reference? in any case, it was pretty funny to me

I was trying to think of something today's generation might enjoy, but then "Return to Hangar" came on and I was like fuck it, I'm putting in Megadeath.

Watch him, hes on the hard stuff now!
But seriously, I didn't now it could have a recreative effect.

Yeah mate me neither...Until on a day of drinking, I sprained my ankle and my brother gave me some painkillers (co-codamol) and I swear man...I was high as a kite!

You have to take them with plenty of beer...Gives a lovely euphoric feeling!

Yeah mate me neither...Until on a day of drinking, I sprained my ankle and my brother gave me some painkillers (co-codamol) and I swear man...I was high as a kite!

You have to take them with plenty of beer...Gives a lovely euphoric feeling!

i get that with most painkillers if i just take like 2 and smoke straight after

This is ridiculous.

I can almost guarantee that this girl has a boyfriend if she is truly as pleasing as you say she is.

The vast majority of my attractive female friends complain about NOT having a boyfriend, because guys are too intimidated to talk to them.

As some guy said; "You may only score 10% of the shots you take, but you miss every shot that you don't take". You don't know whether this girl has a boyfriend or not untill you talk to her.

I can also almost guarantee that the guy is at least a couple of years older than her, so if you look your age, you're probably not even in the race.

Girls go after older guys because they're more mature, and easier to talk to. It's not because they 'look older'.

You are also 15, so you do not have a car and I doubt you have a job with sufficient money.

Haha, wow.

Yes, I know what you are all going to say. This is all assuming that she is a superficial bitch, but guess what? The vast majority of good-looking 16 year old girls are.

This is such a negative way of looking at things. I guess you had some bad experiences at school, or watched too much MTV. Either way you obviously haven't had much contact with real girls.

Say something like, "Hey I've noticed you ride this train alot like me (something like that) my names ___."

Sorry if this has been said I didn't read the whole thread. i agree with the post about the opiates though :)

The vast majority of my attractive female friends complain about NOT having a boyfriend, because guys are too intimidated to talk to them.

This is conducive to having extremely high standards, as they will very surely have a superiority complex and believe they are above most men. This will make them that much more likely to be unreceptive to social contact initiations by individuals such as the OP, who is clearly lacking in confidence.

Girls go after older guys because they're more mature, and easier to talk to. It's not because they 'look older'.

Are you not aware of the "beauty myth" and how it can apply to this situation so very, very easily? If not, please open up a textbook.

Haha, wow.

Nothing factual to support your contemptuous laugh, eh Goldilocks?

This is such a negative way of looking at things.

It's called life experience backed up with cross referencing with established psychological work, it shows you how humans really are. You should try it sometime.

I guess you had some bad experiences at school, or watched too much MTV.

Or perhaps I don't let starry eyed idealism get in the way of logic, experience, and science?

Either way you obviously haven't had much contact with real girls.

Better luck next time, I suggest you come back when you have something more than thinly veiled ad hominem to back you up.

Tell her exactly how you feel, and let her know that it's okay if she isn't interested.

Make it an experiment.

Don't listen to these fools.

Just look at her and say whats up.

She'll say hi back and thats when you say "damn you look familiar, what school do you go to?"

She'll say something, then you just add some shit to it like "oh for real? do you know ________?"

And youre in if you got game.

OPTION 2:

Say something that critisizes her but do it in a joking way.

look at her and start laughing. she'll think wtf? and thats when you say you hair is messed up. you now just put yourself above her and she is going to run her hand threw her hair to fix it for you. just smile and be like "yeah i think you fixed it as good as you can" or something.

OPTION 3: Be like "i see you on the bus/train all the time, whats a girl like you __________________?

(choose one)

doing without a car?
doing all alone?
doing without a job?
doin not goin to school?

ect, ect.

-

Or you could just tell me where to find this girl, I'll game her, get her to wanna rape me and after we're done makin a porno I'll suggest I know someone else tryin tap that ass.

Don't listen to these fools.

Just look at her and say whats up.

She'll say hi back and thats when you say "damn you look familiar, what school do you go to?"

She'll say something, then you just add some shit to it like "oh for real? do you know ________?"

And youre in if you got game.


This works 99% of the time. She'd be a bitch not to at least talk to you for a bit.

This is conducive to having extremely high standards, as they will very surely have a superiority complex and believe they are above most men. This will make them that much more likely to be unreceptive to social contact initiations by individuals such as the OP, who is clearly lacking in confidence.

Cut out the pseudo-intellectual bullshit Byss, it impresses noone, and only serves to make you look stupid.

My point always was that your defeatist attitude is horrible. Telling this guy he has no chance before he even tries... what is that? If you never try, how can you ever hope to succeed?

So I said that there's no harm in going for it. Even if he only has a 1% chance of getting to know her, it's infinitely better than 0%, which is the course of action you so rigorously enforce. Who knows, she might love the chance of actually being able to talk to someone on the train. Travelling alone sucks.

Are you not aware of the "beauty myth" and how it can apply to this situation so very, very easily? If not, please open up a textbook.

According to google, 'the beauty myth' refers to a book by some feminist claiming the media is keeping women under control through their own insecurities with their bodies.

Care to explain what this has to do with whether a girls attraction to older guys is for their looks, or maturity? I'm sure there's a point I'm missing, and it's just a case of you clearing that up.

Nothing factual to support your contemptuous laugh, eh Goldilocks?

I wasn't aware that I needed to factually disprove your allegation that the way to a womans heart is 'MOAR MONIES'. I thought it pretty much disproved itself. Apparently not.

It's called life experience backed up with cross referencing with established psychological work, it shows you how humans really are. You should try it sometime.

Exactly. Life experience. Your experience with girls sucks, so you hate them. Cause and effect.

And I would like to see some of these scientific references. Do you have any legitimate sources you can cite which tell us that all good looking girls are selfish, disrespectful gold diggers? Or did you, as I strongly suspect, pull it entirely out of your ass?

Or perhaps I don't let starry eyed idealism get in the way of logic, experience, and science?

Misogyny doesn't count as science, I'm afraid.

Better luck next time, I suggest you come back when you have something more than thinly veiled ad hominem to back you up.

You like logic!

'Logic' dictates that a man who has such a low view of women, has had quite a few bad experiences with them, and not very many good ones. Therefore my comment wasn't 'ad hominem', as you so pretentiously said. In italics, no less, which makes it appear even more intellectual.

You are a man of science, Byss! So let me give you some science. This contains logic too, so no doubt you'll be spraying yourself with anticipation:

Girls are people, just like guys. Your average hot girl has guys hitting on her like 20 times a day while she's out. Is she going to make the effort to meet and have sex with all of them? No. So what does she do? She comes up with a way or making them go away as soon as possible so she can get on with her life, similar to how you swat away a fly that irritates you.
She doesn't even register that guys are approaching her. She just reflexively acts in a way that she knows will make them go away as quickly as possible.

Does this make her a cold, selfish bitch who's only after money, and considers herself above most men? No, it just means that if you want to meet her as a stranger, be different. Either that or meet her through her friends.

All the hot girls I have ever met have been really nice people. There is no 'starry eyed idealism' going on here, just life experience.

And you should probably kill yourself by the way. The last thing this world needs is more geeks with vendettas against girls.

Don't listen to these fools.

Just look at her and say whats up.

She'll say hi back and thats when you say "damn you look familiar, what school do you go to?"

She'll say something, then you just add some shit to it like "oh for real? do you know ________?"

And youre in if you got game.

OPTION 2:

Say something that critisizes her but do it in a joking way.

look at her and start laughing. she'll think wtf? and thats when you say you hair is messed up. you now just put yourself above her and she is going to run her hand threw her hair to fix it for you. just smile and be like "yeah i think you fixed it as good as you can" or something.

OPTION 3: Be like "i see you on the bus/train all the time, whats a girl like you __________________?

(choose one)

doing without a car?
doing all alone?
doing without a job?
doin not goin to school?

ect, ect.

-

Or you could just tell me where to find this girl, I'll game her, get her to wanna rape me and after we're done makin a porno I'll suggest I know someone else tryin tap that ass.

You made me laugh and for that i thank you.
To the young gent(OP) i can say one thing and one thing only- some things are better kept as fantasies.
I know it sounds a little bit like a loser talk, but think about it, what are the chances of you, a 15year old, hooking up with a older, good looking girl-you answer that.
But if you dont confront her, how many times can you please yourself while thinking of her-you answer that.
Also stay in school.

Cut out the pseudo-intellectual bullshit Byss, it impresses noone, and only serves to make you look stupid.

My point always was that your defeatist attitude is horrible. Telling this guy he has no chance before he even tries... what is that? If you never try, how can you ever hope to succeed?

So I said that there's no harm in going for it. Even if he only has a 1% chance of getting to know her, it's infinitely better than 0%, which is the course of action you so rigorously enforce. Who knows, she might love the chance of actually being able to talk to someone on the train. Travelling alone sucks.

Where can you quote me saying that he shouldn't approach her? I never said he shouldn't, I just wanted to be sure he was going in with both eyes open, and realized the very likely possibilities, which even you seem to assume are probably not over a 1% chance of success. Besides, if he does go through with this and fail miserably, he will now have an uncomfortable train ride every morning with a girl who shot him down.

According to google, 'the beauty myth' refers to a book by some feminist claiming the media is keeping women under control through their own insecurities with their bodies.

Care to explain what this has to do with whether a girls attraction to older guys is for their looks, or maturity? I'm sure there's a point I'm missing, and it's just a case of you clearing that up.

Oh my, I am dreadfully sorry, I seem to have slipped up. I was actually thinking of the physical-attractiveness stereotype. That can greatly apply to this situation as even though not all older men have the people skills that girls think they ought to have, this still doesn't change the fact that girls will assume they do, and will often create a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I wasn't aware that I needed to factually disprove your allegation that the way to a womans heart is 'MOAR MONIES'. I thought it pretty much disproved itself. Apparently not.

Ahaha, you seem to be making far too many assumptions, son. No where did I say the path to a woman's heart was with money, did I? I was solely talking about 16 year old girls, as this is the topic at hand, not the entirety of women in this world. If I did say that, you can quote me on it.

Exactly. Life experience. Your experience with girls sucks, so you hate them. Cause and effect.

Yawn. Where did I say that I hate women? Where did I imply I hate women? Where is the quote to back this up? Or do you consider me misogynistic for stating that the majority of physically attractive 16 year old girls are immature? Please, just tell me yes on this, that 16 year old adolescent girls in First World nations are for the most part mature, intelligent, and considerate creatures, it will be the final nail in the coffin that was once your credibility. I will hence forth refer to this paragraph as First Response as it makes an excellent response to some of your comments down the road.

And I would like to see some of these scientific references. Do you have any legitimate sources you can cite which tell us that all good looking girls are selfish, disrespectful gold diggers? Or did you, as I strongly suspect, pull it entirely out of your ass?

For starters, you are completely misconstruing my words, but I will let others see how for themselves, but as for the other stuff... Where to start? People usually end up with romantic partners of roughly the same attractiveness.1 (http://www2.hawaii.edu/~elaineh/28.pdf) That women prefer older men is in many sociological pieces, but the only source I could think of off the top of my head is in American Sociological Review issue 34 and I can't find an Internet copy of it. It is well documented that when males are not as physically attractive as the female they are pursuing, they usually have to resort to alternative means to bring up their social worth. 2 (http://tinyurl.com/2bjm87) It follows from this reference 2 that a girl that is attractive will thus usually want a man that is either physically attractive, or that is well off in other areas(social status, finances, etc.).

Misogyny doesn't count as science, I'm afraid.

Take off the rose-colored glasses, take a step back, and see what's really going on.

'Logic' dictates that a man who has such a low view of women, has had quite a few bad experiences with them, and not very many good ones. Therefore my comment wasn't 'ad hominem', as you so pretentiously said.

See First Reponse.

In italics, no less, which makes it appear even more intellectual.

Only giving Latin it's due respect.

Girls are people, just like guys. Your average hot girl has guys hitting on her like 20 times a day while she's out. Is she going to make the effort to meet and have sex with all of them? No. So what does she do? She comes up with a way or making them go away as soon as possible so she can get on with her life, similar to how you swat away a fly that irritates you.
She doesn't even register that guys are approaching her. She just reflexively acts in a way that she knows will make them go away as quickly as possible.

Does this make her a cold, selfish bitch who's only after money, and considers herself above most men?

Of course it means she considers herself above most men, or why else would she nonchalantly shrug off the advances of most men? What she will then begin looking for are traits that separate certain men from the great flock of men. This can be anything from striking physical beauty, to financial status, to anything else she deems worthy for someone to be her partner, as she can afford to be highly selective considering there are so many men that want her.

No, it just means that if you want to meet her as a stranger, be different.

Such as be physically flawless or wealthy?

All the hot girls I have ever met have been really nice people.

Anyone that can honestly say they have never met a physically striking yet cruel person is either a liar, incredibly untraveled, or a starry eyed idealist.

There is no 'starry eyed idealism' going on here, just life experience.

I'm glad for you, that in your entire life on this green planet you have never met a single physically attractive girl that was ever anything less than nice. I truly am.

And you should probably kill yourself by the way. The last thing this world needs is more geeks with vendettas against girls.

See First Response.

Ka pow! (http://without.trying.justgotowned.com/)

Ka pow! (http://without.trying.justgotowned.com/)

Wtf is this faggotry.

Ok this is boring, but whatever.

Where can you quote me saying that he shouldn't approach her? I never said he shouldn't, I just wanted to be sure he was going in with both eyes open, and realized the very likely possibilities, which even you seem to assume are probably not over a 1% chance of success. Besides, if he does go through with this and fail miserably, he will now have an uncomfortable train ride every morning with a girl who shot him down.

I can almost guarantee that this girl has a boyfriend if she is truly as pleasing as you say she is. I can also almost guarantee that the guy is at least a couple of years older than her, so if you look your age, you're probably not even in the race. You are also 15, so you do not have a car and I doubt you have a job with sufficient money.

Even if you didn't explicitly say it, this post is essentially saying "Don't bother, you don't have a chance."

And you can't be 'shot down' when you're just trying to make casual conversation. If she's rude, fuck her, you were trying to be polite. Noones suggesting he walks in and starts busting out some pick up lines.

Oh my, I am dreadfully sorry, I seem to have slipped up.

I forgive you Byss; we all slip up from time to time.

I was actually thinking of the physical-attractiveness stereotype. That can greatly apply to this situation as even though not all older men have the people skills that girls think they ought to have, this still doesn't change the fact that girls will assume they do, and will often create a self-fulfilling prophecy.

How much older are we talking here? You said 'a couple of years older', whereas this part of your post appears to assume that the guy is noticeably aged.

I wouldn't have thought that your 'beauty myth' applies to an 18 year old over a 15 year old. But then I guess you're the psychologist here.

Ahaha, you seem to be making far too many assumptions, son. No where did I say the path to a woman's heart was with money, did I? I was solely talking about 16 year old girls, as this is the topic at hand, not the entirety of women in this world. If I did say that, you can quote me on it.

I was being facetious, I thought that much was obvious. I guess it wasn't. I'll try and make it simpler and more obvious for you next time.

Yawn. Where did I say that I hate women? Where did I imply I hate women? Where is the quote to back this up? Or do you consider me misogynistic for stating that the majority of physically attractive 16 year old girls are immature? Please, just tell me yes on this, that 16 year old adolescent girls in First World nations are for the most part mature, intelligent, and considerate creatures, it will be the final nail in the coffin that was once your credibility. I will hence forth refer to this paragraph as First Response as it makes an excellent response to some of your comments down the road.

You did more than state that 16 year old girls are immature. 'Superficial bitch', was what I believe you said.


Bitch
-noun

a. a malicious, unpleasant, selfish person, esp. a woman.

You imply you hate women with every word you type, Byss.

And I never stated that they were 'mostly' mature, intelligent and considerate. This was your own fabrication. I never mentioned intelligence or maturity. Yes, a lot of them are stupid, immature and selfish, I'm not even going to try and deny that. But do any of these qualities go hand in hand with what was actually discussed? No. They have no bearing.

If you consider fabrication and exaggeration an 'excellent response', Byss, your thinking is flawed.

I shall 'henceforth' refer to this as first reply.

For starters, you are completely misconstruing my words, but I will let others see how for themselves, but as for the other stuff... Where to start? People usually end up with romantic partners of roughly the same attractiveness.1 (http://www2.hawaii.edu/~elaineh/28.pdf)

I'm not even going to try and trawl through that.

And 'attractiveness' is subjective. It's influenced by so many factors, it's not even worth it.

That women prefer older men is in many sociological pieces, but the only source I could think of off the top of my head is in American Sociological Review issue 34 and I can't find an Internet copy of it.

I have never disputed that women like older guys. That was never an issue. It was you that somehow perverted your own point. It was originally a guy that was a couple of years older than the 16 year old girl.

It is well documented that when males are not as physically attractive as the female they are pursuing, they usually have to resort to alternative means to bring up their social worth. 2 (http://tinyurl.com/2bjm87) It follows from this reference 2 that a girl that is attractive will thus usually want a man that is either physically attractive, or that is well off in other areas(social status, finances, etc.).

All this proves is that men are more likely to think that women are after money, and that guys like you exist. I'm afraid that this doesn't cut it as proof.

Take off the rose-colored glasses, take a step back, and see what's really going on.

I did this a long time ago Byss, and it appears you haven't managed it yet.

See First Reponse.

Se first reply.


Only giving Latin it's due respect.

Unnecessary pretention. I could have used a buttload of those kinds of terms, but I don't, because they're totally unnecessary.

Of course it means she considers herself above most men, or why else would she nonchalantly shrug off the advances of most men? What she will then begin looking for are traits that separate certain men from the great flock of men. This can be anything from striking physical beauty, to financial status, to anything else she deems worthy for someone to be her partner, as she can afford to be highly selective considering there are so many men that want her.

Like I thought I explained, she shrugs them off because they become too numerous and irritating. It's an automatic reflex, the same as swatting away flies that come near you while you're eating. She doesn't even logically think about what's happening, she just does it.

And it depends how you define 'think yourself above'. I thought you meant 'think you're better than", which isn't necessarily the case. Some girls do think they're better than anyone else, but that's society, some people have messed up views. It's certainly not the majority.
But if you mean "Think you're too good to date" then sure. It's human nature to go for the best of anything you're offered. In a utopian dreamworld, I'm sure you'd love it if girls took an interest in you. And in that world, you'd pick the best. Only the best for Byss, you might say.

Such as be physically flawless or wealthy?

I have a friend, his name is Jorgan. He's one of the most attractive guys you've ever seen. He's an underwear model, and has a lot of money. He drives a really nice car. But guess what? He can't get a date, because he's one of the most boring guys alive.

You're looking at this the wrong way, Byss. It's not the car and the money that are attractive; it's what they represent. Power. Protection. Enough to ensure that any future children will be safe, and will grow and have children of their own. Subconsciously of course.

Anyone that can honestly say they have never met a physically striking yet cruel person is either a liar, incredibly untraveled, or a starry eyed idealist.

I'm glad for you, that in your entire life on this green planet you have never met a single physically attractive girl that was ever anything less than nice. I truly am.

Depends how you look at it.

Sure, when I was back in middle/high school, I met some hot girls that were cruel to me in order to boost their own horrible self esteem. When I grew up however, and matured, I made friends with most of them, and guess what? None of them are 'cruel' in the sense of the dictionary definition.

You're a man who likes his psychology, Byss. Ever heard of 'projection'?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection

When girls are nasty to you Byss, it's not because they have no empathy or sympathy towards other people. They perceive you as weak, and are nasty to you because they perceive you as the embodiment of their own weakness.

There are very few people on this earth who are fundamentally 'cruel' people. Most cruel people have psychological disorders that make them unable to comprehend the emotions or feelings of other people.

And sure, I've met hot girls that aren't nice, but I've met far more 'hot' guys that aren't nice.

See First Response.

See first reply. Eugh I only had to use that response twice and I already feel like a prick for doing so. I wouldn't even like to imagine how you feel Byss. Although to be honest, you probably think you're quite witty and clever for coming up with it.

Zing! (http://Byss.justgotowned.com/)

Random long thread, tl/dr and all that, just fucking talk to her.

How? Same way you talk to a bloke you've never met.

Except with a boner.

Unless you have a boner when you talk to blokes you've never met.

Except with a boner.

Unless you have a boner when you talk to blokes you've never met.
I certainly do.