First off i will say i try to NEVER overinvest myself into a woman before a relationship starts, and even when it does i usually dont for a month or 2.

Moving on. This will be short and sweet. I met a girl at a party, we hook up, hold hands when im walking her to the bus stop (my choice). I start talking to her on msn, which is rare because i never pursue random hookups, but for some reason i did this time. Im trying to be flirty, she isnt really having it but whatever im persistant. I invite her out to see a movie (not on a date) with some people, she comes, i bus back to her place with her which is OUT OF THE WAY for me, but i try to be a gentleman, i get a kiss on the cheek when i leave and i return one back to her. We go to a school dance (im in college 1st year shes in grade 12, year younger) and she takes me to the corner and it makes out with me. This happened again at another party.

I like paragraphs, they hurt your eyes less. Anyways, so i start hanging out with her on her lunch when i have the time, and so i start getting kisses goodbye, holding hands, its been about 3 weeks of this at this point, so i decide it would be safe to ask her out, because in all honesty i like her alot and want a relationship with her. We end up going out to a shisha bar with a bunch of people, just hanging out, we go to play pool, end out making out in the middle of the place so i stopped cus it was sorta rude. She seems to like me at this point, she offers to drive me home, we get there end up making out AGAIN (i apologise for people who dont like that terminology for kissing, but its what i use). So i ask her out, it wasnt from a romance novel, but it was heartfelt and the best asking out attempt i had made to date...

"Im sorry im not ready for a relationship right now"

I try to play it off and smile, she makes out AGAIN, which i was wierded out by, but whatever, and then i leave. I talked to her friend and she said this girl has had bad relationship problems in the past, and she just broke up with her 1 year bf before the summer. I can understand this, but im confused as hell as to why she was showing me that kind of affection... I still really like her alot, and im thinking about continuing with her but im really confused, and totse i would love some opinions on this one because i dont know what to think!

Thanks, Adam

tell her straight out you really like her, and say you dont usually invest yourself or spend a lot of time with a girl unless you really like them, then say something like "ask my friends if you dont believe me". at this point, she'll be thinking, "wow, potential stalker" or "wow, this guy is cute", but to play it say say something like you understand that she's not looking for a relationship, but you enjoy the time you guys spend together. then tell her to give you a head up when she's ready to get into another relationship.

when i asked her out i basically did say that i was spending alot of time with her because i liked her... oh well, her friend said she would put in a good word for me. I wouldnt say tell me when shes ready because that seems like it could REALLY backfire

Solution: Fuckbuddies


But in all seriousness(although being fuckfriends would still be your best bet if you wanna get with this girl) don't ask her out, not for a while atleast, next time your with her, casually get on to the subject of her last relationship (not too in-depth, unless you like being the shoulder to cry on) ask her why she isnt ready for a relationship (remember you asked her friend not her, if she says something different then what your friend said, she probably isnt worth pursuing or your friends full of shit) then just tell her you understand why she doesn't want a relationship right now, tell her you're not asking her to get into one, but you're just asking her to give you the chance to see where this goes (of course dont say it in such a crappy way like i just did) and hell you never know, within a week or two she might have changed her mind and she might ask YOU out.

Hell it worked for me, well the reverse i mean, the girl im currently with (and have been with for the last 2 years) liked me a lot, but i didnt want a relationship, we decided to just just continue on fooling around and see where it takes us, and not even a month later we were dating and I've never been happier or more in love.

i suppose ill end up doing this as it would seem i have no other choice at the moment... im going to visit her now actually so we will see how that goes