No this is not an incest related thread. If you guys don't want to bother reading a long post then you can leave.

First of all, I don't know where to start. Maybe I can start on the fact that he physically abuses my mom. I remember once when my mom came back from her business trip when she had to give a tour around Europe for this group of 60 people, the next morning I saw her she had bruises across her back and neck. She couldn't move from the bed so I asked her what happened and she told me that my dad was forcing himself on her and obviously she was exhausted from the trip but my dad didn't take that under consideration and fucking forced her to have sex with him and when she refused, he pushed her off the bed and kicked her in the lower back. This knocked her back out for almost a week.

Second thing, my dad always threatens my mom with a divorce, and I've found divorce papers in his files before and they have all been filled out. I've told my mom so many times before to divorce him but she says she cant, its not that she cant financially support me and herself but its that she thinks its kind of a disgrace if she divorces him and that she'll loose respect in the eyes of others. Now, i don't think that way and neither does her relatives. I kept telling her to divorce him already and that if she's unhappy with him, she should do the right thing and leave before his abuse gets any worse and this is what she replies me with "But he's your dad...and besides...I've been with him for 22 years and I'm used to having him there, and think about it, what happens if we do divorce? What'll happen to your dad?"

Third thing, my dad doesn't have a job. He doesn't work and doesn't do jack shit. He lives off of my mom's money and she makes a decent enough amount to support the family. Now we live in a house with 4 bedrooms, so with an extra bedroom we usually rent it out to people. Recently a new tenant came in and was a woman, my dad has always been nice to women, overly nice if i might add. This is strange because ever since she moved in, hes been spending a lot of time with her and going out of his way to help her and shit. Now me and my mom are doubting that the woman is even paying us the rent or if shes doing something else in return as payment. My dad did have a history of cheating on my mom. My question is, why the fuck does my mom still put up with a jackass shitbag like that?

lastly, i know all of the above have mostly been about my mom, this is one last thing to sum it all up. I don't think he cares about anyone in the family besides himself. For one thing, I had a fever today, he didnt know about it until i told him on my way home from school, i had a high fever and when i told her there was no expression on his face. No response of any kind. It's like that everytime, i've had appendicitis before and he wasn't even at the hospital with me, it was only my mom. He was at home doing god knows what. Any time i had a major illness, he was never there for me. Every time my mom was ill i had to stay home from school and take care of her while hes out doing some shit i dont know about. He's always talking about me moving out and getting a good job and support HIM. He's a man, he should stop fucking depending on me and my mom, get a fucking job. My mom's siblings knows about him and how he NEVER has a job and it's always been my mom supporting the family. It's always been like that. They know he does jack shit and they dont understand why she's still with him while putting up with all his bullshit. He's always on the phone with his friend and his friend always pesters him to get a job, he just says "why? My life is pretty good, why bother? Life is short, live while you can" mind you my parents are both old and are in their early 50's. I'm only 17, almost, next saturday's my birthday.

He says he cant get a job, my ass, even i can get a fucking job. We're not asking for much, we dont care if he works at a 7-11 or some shit, at least its a job and hes making at least some effort in supporting the family.

He also spends a shit load of my mom's money on himself. He spent 10k last month building a fucking home gym. He spend so much fucking money on ridiculous shit like protein shakes and clothes and other 'luxuries" meanwhile my mom saves as much money as she can.

There are a lot more things that pisses me off about him but i cant write it all down. Too many things to mention. Oh, he almost strangled me to death before when i was 7, that's besides the point. I just had to say all this shit out because i'm not sure who i can tell. Anyways, whoever read through all of this, thanks. Advice or comments appreciated. Thanks totse.

This thread was a dissapointment from the start.

No incest, no thread!

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c63/IWorkFBI/tldr.jpg

No this is not an incest related thread.This is where I stopped reading.



Just kidding.

I'm not surprised that your mother is still with him; that sort of situation is played out far more frequently than you'd like to imagine. I'm not sure of the psychology behind it, but for some reason, there are some women out there who, no matter what happens, will not leave their spouses. It's upsetting, but it happens.

Your father sounds like a right prick, though, and probably wouldn't be missed, if you catch my drift. I'm sure he has a life insurance policy, too, that would help comfort you and your mother in your time of grieving. Wink, wink; nudge, nudge.

What a complete arsehole.

Trouble is, if your mum doesn't want to divorce him, there snot much you can do. Keep talking to her, maybe she will see sense.. It's the only option I can think of.

Well, 'side from murder/suicide of course.

By any chance you got an older sibling who is almost 22? Some men, who feel they were 'trapped' into marriage, display the behaviour you describe.

Second, Keep the fuck out of your parent's marriage! Ain't none of your business. That way unhappiness lies for all concerned. If you mom *enjoys* being 'raped' and beaten so bad she risks ending up in a wheelchair then so be it. You aren't her keeper. Just because you've lived with them for 17 years don't mean you actually know what really passes between them.

Best advice I can give is you keep your head down for the next year, get some good grades and fuck off to college.

Kick the absolute shit out of him. Really fuck him up bad.

Maybe the fact that his own son puts him in hospital will knock some sense into him.

It would have to be for treating you like shit apposed to your mum. You have no business there.

He says he cant get a job, my ass, even i can get a fucking job. We're not asking for much, we dont care if he works at a 7-11 or some shit, at least its a job and hes making at least some effort in supporting the family.

Sounds like a typical slacker, if he gets a job he's looking for one with nearly no responsibilty and a big cheque. Is he into drugs at all that you know of?

To answer a few questions:

1. I'm a girl
2. No I'm the only child
3. He's not into drugs

I would leave my dad in a heartbeat if it wasn't for my mom. Me and her are really close and I hate to see her suffer. I know more about their marriage than my dad thinks because my mom tells me everything that happens.

because my mom tells me everything that happens.

Sorry but I wouldn't hang my worst enemy on that evidence.

Again, stay the fuck outta their marriage. Your mom shouldn't even be telling you stuff.

PS. is there a cultural background ? Your parents first generation? Or religious?

Your mom shouldn't even be telling you stuff.

Bottom line. If your parents are fighting, thats their buisness. If your mom is trying to drag you into it by making you take her side, then she's a dirty cunt. Whatever takes place between your mother and your father is none of your business, and also...did I mention? Your moms a dirty cunt.

Bottom line. If your parents are fighting, thats their buisness. If your mom is trying to drag you into it by making you take her side, then she's a dirty cunt. Whatever takes place between your mother and your father is none of your business, and also...did I mention? Your moms a dirty cunt.

A little harsh perhaps...

Oh sorry, don't know why I assumed a sex.

Guess you dont have the mentality to kick the shit out of him?

Get him to hit you and press charges?



To be honest, when I was at home and I was really ill my dad didnt really give a shit.

With jack making the point about you mum and dads relationship being none of your business. He has a point. What happens inbetween two people is none of your business. It really screws things up when others get involved, especially for you.

Do you have a relationship with him? Do you ever speak? How does he act towards you?

Some details on the relationship between you and your dad would be useful.

Bottom line. If your parents are fighting, thats their buisness. If your mom is trying to drag you into it by making you take her side, then she's a dirty cunt. Whatever takes place between your mother and your father is none of your business, and also...did I mention? Your moms a dirty cunt.

my mom doesn't tell me stuff so that I'd take sides. My mom and I have a very close relationship where we tell each other everything. She's like my friend (I know it's corny) and like I said, she doesn't have anyone else to tell it to.

Maybe its because she's half Japanese and half Chinese. According to the asian culture its shameful to let others know that you are having marital problems. I don't hate my mom for telling me what's going on in their marriage. I guess its better for me to know more than i need to than to know nothing at all. Try and understand.

Maybe its because she's half Japanese and half Chinese. According to the asian culture its shameful to let others know that you are having marital problems.

Unusual mix, the japanese and the chinese are two of the most racist peoples on the planet and both look down on the other.

But yeah that explains why your mom isn't going to divorce him anytime soon.

I'm not going to pretend to be an expert or anything of the sort, but it seems to me that if your mother was really resolved to staying with your father through the abuse, cheating and mooching, then she would be trying to keep the problems to herself and keep you out of it. Considering her heritage and her cultural beliefs, it seems to me that getting her child involved is like a call for help. You need to explain to her that you truly care about what's best for her, and that you are worried about her well-being. She needs to know that you want a better life for her, and whatever decision she makes you will be supporting her one hundred percent. If after all that she's still dedicated to keeping the family together then you need to respect her wishes and hope that things will work out for the best.

Good luck, that's a really tough situation.

she told me that my dad was forcing himself on her

Just out of interest, her words or yours?

Hopefully your Mother will realize what's best for her. Don't hesitate to point out the unusual and be there for support. She's lucky to have a caring friend in her daughter.

Unusual mix, the japanese and the chinese are two of the most racist peoples on the planet and both look down on the other.

I know, at least my dad is a mix too. Half Korean half Chinese.

Just out of interest, her words or yours?

Hers. Her exact words were "I told him no, and that I was tired but he kept forcing himself on me" Not exactly the words a child wants to hear.

your relationship sounds a lot like mine.

he probably wont learn, your mom is being taken advantage of, my dad has no job also, but at least makes an effort, and he's a douche. he used to stomp on me when i was about 5 years old because i could not memorize spelling words, he used to force me to learn arbitrary spelling words, from adult English books he was learning from. it was basic and easy stuff, but i was in fucking first grade, now he doesnt really hurt me, i think its because he knows that i'm 18 and that im not afraid of him anymore. But i havent been afraid of him for a while.

dude, kill your dad.
that.
or get the hell outta there.

You have two options.

Get out. Pack up and leave, leave them both.

Option two... Bulk right the fuck up and then beat the everloving shit out of your deadbeat, sociopathic mooch-bastard father. Lay down the law, as a man and a good person.

Poison him. Court could show motive for both you and your mom, and your mom wouldn't turn you in.

Well the abuse part applies to my real dad.

and the wasting $ applies to my step dad.

so i been there.

Luckily I didn't have to worry about the abusing shit, my mom left herself.

the money wasting pisssssssess me off.

he works 3 days a week, and he makes a little money but not enough for him to just kick back and eat out at good restaurants + play real life monopoly on craigslist 5 days a week with moms $


Luckily, my mom is a hustler and makes daily what step makes in a "week" more or less.

Look man, I don't know you, but if I knew anyone (including my dad) was raping my mum, I'd be in there with a fucking hockey stick. That's all there is to it and I don't think I know many people who could say differently.

Hers. Her exact words were "I told him no, and that I was tired but he kept forcing himself on me" Not exactly the words a child wants to hear.

Not exactly words a child should be hearing.

Your thread was too long for me to read last night. So I just posted a somewhat related rant. I went back and read it, and I feel bad for her :(

I recant my previous statements.

Your dad sounds like a total dick. Its not your place to nose into their marriage, until it comes to physical abuse. I wouldnt let any man get away with hitting my mother/sister/daughter. Least of all my father.

And it's sad too, because asian women are -very- submissive. That she would put up with all that, just to be with him...it's sad.

If I were you, and I actually mean this, i'd just find a way to get rid of him. Whatever it takes.

Unless your dad is forcing himself onto you or hurting you physically, you have no right to get in there. You can try to influence your mom's decision, but pretty low. If she doesn't want to leave him, that's her business. You have no right as a 17 year old to tell a grown 50 year old woman how to run her business.

Now if your dad touches you in any way then by all means beat the living shit out of him (kill him if you have to) but don't bring yourself into problems between your mom and dad. Your mom needs to handle her own problems. If she doesn't want to leave your dad, that's fine, you can tell her how you feel and leave it as that.

If I were you, and I actually mean this, i'd just find a way to get rid of him. Whatever it takes.

Don't do this. It's your MOM'S problem, not yours.

If you mom doesn't want to leave him, she probably doesn't want him eliminated either. She needs him, in whatever fucked up way, so don't take him away from her.

There comes a point when you have to get involved in things you'd normally never be involved with, and your mom being raped to the point of neck/body bruising and blowing out her back by your father is one of them.

Like has been said, not only do asian women have a history of being submissive, many women stay in relationships like this for no reason. They try to justify it in their minds, but when it comes down to it, they can't.

People like him don't learn either, so messing him up is out, he'll just escalate the situation even further. Maybe she should serve him the papers for once, and asap.

edit: make her understand it's not disgraceful to leave an abusive partner, regardless of some stupid "for better or worse" vow.

Don't do this. It's your MOM'S problem, not yours.

If you mom doesn't want to leave him, she probably doesn't want him eliminated either. She needs him, in whatever fucked up way, so don't take him away from her.

You have to protect your women.

You have to protect your women.

If they want to be protected, not to mention the OP is a girl.

Unless your mom explicitly states she wants him gone, don't do it. You have no right to mess in their business, and if your mom is unhappy with the situation, she needs to take care of her own business, not put all the pressure on you.

If they want to be protected, not to mention the OP is a girl.

Unless your mom explicitly states she wants him gone, don't do it. You have no right to mess in their business, and if your mom is unhappy with the situation, she needs to take care of her own business, not put all the pressure on you.

Women like that never want to be protected. They get into abusive, unhealthy relationships and they become psychologically dependant. Its like a drug addict that -wants- to get clean, but who needs a serious kick in the ass to actually do it.

It's a little different if the OP is a girl though. I guess it really isn't your place. It's sad though.

Women like that never want to be protected. They get into abusive, unhealthy relationships and they become psychologically dependant. Its like a drug addict that -wants- to get clean, but who needs a serious kick in the ass to actually do it.

It's a little different if the OP is a girl though. I guess it really isn't your place. It's sad though.

It is sad, of course, I just don't want her to break up a family. It's like taking a heroin addict off heroin, he'll go through withdrawal, and who knows what will happen. He might get back on it, find another drug, etc.

Just like that, if she breaks up her family, her mom might get back together (which now means that her dad and mom will hate her for meddling), her mom might find another, even worse, abusive boyfriend, her mom might get depressed and commit suicide, etc.

All manner of shit can happen.

Ouch. I was cringing throughout the entire story.

Buy some pepper spray, and give it to your mom.
She will thank you later.

Also, how does a 17 year old Asian chick get on Totse?
:S

Also, how does a 17 year old Asian chick get on Totse?
:S

Better question: How does she get off Totse and into my bed?

Alright, so an update for everyone. I spent 5 hours last night just lying in bed with my mom and talking to her about all her problems. Turns out some of my advice is really helping her. Now she realizes that yes my dad is a horrible jackass and she is trying her best to start cut the emotional dependency she has for my dad.

One thing that's holding her back from actually divorcing him and moving on with another man is well one, the fact that she feels its degrading to divorce, etc.etc. secondly; my dad is partially insane and well, he gets disgustingly jealous and does some crazy shit. Once he tracked down one of my mom's good guy friends and my dad called his wife saying she was fucking around with him and then he went and beat some sense into her friend. Basically, she's afraid that he might track down her 'future' boyfriend and do some horrible shit to him. Creepy.

Alright, so an update for everyone. I spent 5 hours last night just lying in bed with my mom and talking to her about all her problems.

Your relationship with your mum sounds rather unhealthy. Don't get me wrong, nothing wrong with a mother and daughter being close but that's a bit much.

Again, stay the fuck out of their marriage for your own sake.

Your relationship with your mum sounds rather unhealthy. Don't get me wrong, nothing wrong with a mother and daughter being close but that's a bit much.

Again, stay the fuck out of their marriage for your own sake.

What's wrong with sharing a bed with your parents? Ever hear of "camping"?

What's wrong with sharing a bed with your parents? Ever hear of "camping"?

She failed to mention that they were in a tent....*roll eyes*

There is no way she should be in an 'intimate' situation (the bed she shares with her husband?) with her mum ,spending 5 hours discussing her mum's marriage.

She shouldn't be trying to persuade her mum to divorce. WIth 17 she doesn't know it all. And her mum should know better than to encourage such behaviour.

If her mum wants help and advice then I'm sure somewhere locally there is a centre, staffed by fem-nazis and do-gooders, for so-called battered wives who'll be only to happy to see the family split up and her father jailed.

your mom *enjoys* being 'raped' and beaten so bad she risks ending up in a wheelchair then so be it.

i c wut u did thar!