I just realized something...

My non-inebriated social skills have really gone to shit. This summer I was traveling around, meeting lots of people everywhere, and really social. Unfortunately, now that I've gotten back into things...I tend to just feel really awkward in social settings, even with my friends. I'm really not interested in most people anymore (well, in general I don't think I ever am), and the idea of having a normal, sober conversation with a girl is just kind of foreign to me.

Any suggestions? Embrace alcoholism?

same problem man

im not around chicks unless im drunk fri/sat nights and its easier to talk to them when im drunk

plus i dont go to my high school, i take classes at the deadbeat community college so socializing with the ladies is terrible there, but i have tried.

Replace alcohol with benzos.

Dude, I have the exact same problem. I even made a thread about it a while back in S&A.

The unfortunate thing though, is that I have yet to find a solution. So I still have to drink if I ever want to be socially successful. And the difference between sober me and inebriated me is unbelievable.

Here's a link to the thread I made:

http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=1503737

Maybe you'll get some ideas from it.

If you find something that works, let me know!

I don't find social interaction difficult...I work in a customer service role so it's a usual thing to talk to new people as well as people I've known for a while.

However, I find it much easier to talk to people with a few in me.

Just get out there and talk mate...It helped me.
I used to be pretty quiet when I was sober and couldn't talk to anybody let alone women but one day I just decided to talk to people...Sooner or later it becomes a lot more comfortable.

I find that I never meet people I'd consider friends while drinking, or that I hookup with people I just meet while drinking. I leave a better impression when I'm sober than anything, honestly, and can guage people better when I'm sober.

Hey Ive been exactly there, and it isnt waht it seems like.

The alcohol does very little, its a fucken placebo.

"hey, im drunk now, im more scoial, voot"

Alcohol just makes it easier to get into that social state of mind, it can be reached sober.

Alcohol just makes it easier to get into that social state of mind, it can be reached sober.

How though? That's question at hand.

I have had this very problem for many years and have yet to fix it.

Haha...it's definitely not a placebo. Apparently some can be in a similar social state when sober, but that doesn't make the chemical effect of alcohol any less real or effective.

But anyways, this is tough. Although I have a desire to just be socially normal like most of the people I see, part of me feels content. I'm very content on my own, and I kind of like drinking that magic potion and suddenly being really happy to be with other people. I also wonder whether I even can truly change. I mean, if I don't really enjoy normal human interactions, can I really just will myself to change? I remember reading some psychology article or book that mentioned that people can't truly change their feelings or emotions. I'm kind of thinking that the best I can do is learn to be a really good actor in my everyday life.

In fact, gadzooks, I keep getting an idea to start learning how to act (ie. movie/theater acting) and just practicing it on my own. I mean, the good actors out there can really become whoever they're portraying...I figure if I get good at it then I can just treat the outside world as a stage. I (we?) put on a facade most of the time anyways...maybe I'm just not good at it.

In fact, gadzooks, I keep getting an idea to start learning how to act (ie. movie/theater acting) and just practicing it on my own. I mean, the good actors out there can really become whoever they're portraying...I figure if I get good at it then I can just treat the outside world as a stage. I (we?) put on a facade most of the time anyways...maybe I'm just not good at it.

That's weird that you mention that because I remember considering it as an option. Some might criticize it for being "fake", but like you said, everyone is putting on a facade to at least some extent. Especially if you don't find human interactions naturally easy, then it seems like it really might be the best course of action to take.

That's weird that you mention that because I remember considering it as an option. Some might criticize it for being "fake", but like you said, everyone is putting on a facade to at least some extent. Especially if you don't find human interactions naturally easy, then it seems like it really might be the best course of action to take.

Yeah, fuck it. I'm going to try it.

I gave it a try just now actually. I thought of a scene from a show I watch all the time and tried to act out my character's role. It's pretty...fun, actually. I mean, you can feel when you kinda just look goofy, but for a few moments I really felt involved and in the character's skin. I'll keep you posted if I can actually make this work for me in real situations...if anything even just in how I respond to people.

Yeah, fuck it. I'm going to try it.

I gave it a try just now actually. I thought of a scene from a show I watch all the time and tried to act out my character's role. It's pretty...fun, actually. I mean, you can feel when you kinda just look goofy, but for a few moments I really felt involved and in the character's skin. I'll keep you posted if I can actually make this work for me in real situations...if anything even just in how I respond to people.

That's an awesome idea. I'm totally gonna try this too.

Email me at faischier@gmail.com and I'll give it to you.

I found replacing Alcohol with Coffee and pure and intense fear of social situations worked, because I just never ever shut up now.

well it doesnt suck to be sober....

but i still feel like ive lost something along the way.

I used to be the most outgoing funny charming guy but now i feel awkward in the presence of an attractive female.

i used to smoke week daily for like a year and that started it....then i had anxiety problems so my doc put me on kpin 2mg daily and that made me wayyyy over social to the point of not making sense sometimes.

now im off all that shit. i feel better as a person, but socially i feel like a little kid in a grown up world.

very depressing to say the least.

do you all think its still benzo withdrawl? i was on them for a good 6 months and i took my last one in late june. what gives?

Being drunk is cool...*swigs last drop of vodka*

I find that I'm a complete asshole when drunk. I'm normally a very honest person, but to a point where I can remain tact. When I'm drunk, everyone has 1030259 more flaws and I feel the need to point that out.

I'd rather smoke weed and go out and socialize than go out and drink and vice versa.

Hey today I found out like...sorta.. thingy whatever.

If Im doing bad in a social situation, and I decide to drink, then things becom worse, because, alcohol like amplifies it.

But if I drink before a social situation, then Im loosened up when I start talking.
And I stay talkative way after I sober up.

Today I hung with a whole bunch of people Ive known of but never really talked to.
I was a bit tipsy when I first met them, and I had a great fucking time long after I sobered up, because i had gotten into that social state of mind.

Alcohol, benzos, speed, and moderate opiate doses are all your friend. I would vary it up a little bit to avoid addiction or dependence for social situations. E: Or you could just get some self confidence. I know a guy that sells it 20$/gram.

It does. I've basically been drunk for the past two years and I've had a blast. Of course, I'm a complete alcoholic. Embrace alcohol.

I want to man, but I'd also like to keep my liver intact. I wonder, at what frequency of alcohol use does your liver start getting damaged? My understanding is that your liver is what metabolizes alcohol (and most medicines), and so when people drink too much, too frequently they can't metabolize fast enough and end up damaging the liver. If that's how it works, what is too much/too frequently?

I want to man, but I'd also like to keep my liver intact. I wonder, at what frequency of alcohol use does your liver start getting damaged? My understanding is that your liver is what metabolizes alcohol (and most medicines), and so when people drink too much, too frequently they can't metabolize fast enough and end up damaging the liver. If that's how it works, what is too much/too frequently?

My 21 year old buddy is a pretty big alcoholic. Drinks everyday, and drinks A LOT. The doctor told him that if he didn't slow down he would be dead in 4-6 years. Hes still drinking... What a trooper...

Seriously, alcohol is a terrible drug when chronically abused. I have seen many older alcoholics lives spiral out of control. I feel bad for them, but their the ones that keep chugging. When I was like 14-15 some 45yo drunk (moms friend) was trying to grab my cock and shit. That would have been cool and all if she was good looking (she wasn't). I ended up getting in a wrestling match with her because she was so drunk and literately wouldn't take no for an answer. I doubt she remembers it at all. Later that night she puked, passed out on the floor and needed benzos in the morning just to wake up (I guess shes addicted to them too or something). Thats what happens when you drink 3 giant bottles of wine, a couple beers, and god knows how many mixed drinks. Tolerance ftw! And she does this multiple times a week.

And guess how it all started?! My moms been friends with her since like grade 7 or something so they know each others life story. She started off drinking just to ease social situations. Thats how almost ALL alcoholics start off. Then over the next 20-30 years the addiction becomes insane and ruins your life. I also know several other people who did the same thing.

Like I said earlier, get some confidence, or find a better drug than alcohol. Neither of those are hard. Take some martial arts classes and start working out. Thats a sure confidence builder. Read a flirting book or something. Drinking yourself retarded is a bad idea.

Getting trashed every once in a while is all fun and games. Having a few drinks on the weekend is also cool. Nothing wrong with that. But as soon as you depend on a drug for something (such as social situations) you are starting a journey that may never end.

Like I said earlier, get some confidence, or find a better drug than alcohol. Neither of those are hard. Take some martial arts classes and start working out. Thats a sure confidence builder. Read a flirting book or something. Drinking yourself retarded is a bad idea.

For some people it isn't as simple as that. If it were, then I'm sure either DerDrache or myself would have found a working solution by now as we're obviously relatively intelligent and resourceful.

For some people it isn't as simple as that. If it were, then I'm sure either DerDrache or myself would have found a working solution by now as we're obviously relatively intelligent and resourceful.

I know what you mean, but starting an addiction is not the correct answer. Maybe there is another, less damaging drug that would allow you to socialize. Weed? Low doses of stimulants? Try some other shit out before you commit to drinking.

Try some herbs and botanical shops. Fuck, you could even try buying all the popular botanicals and mixing them into a cannon blunt. Who cares what you try, just try something else. Alcohol is essentially a poison that gets us high. Its really bad for your health, and thats not some anti drug scare tactic. I would try every drug known to man before I accept that I NEED alcohol to have a good time with people. Try vicodin or whatever else comes to mind. Almost everything is better than regular drinking.

It means your social skills fucking suck. Go talk to more girls, get back to me when you've met 100 new girls.

same problem man

im not around chicks unless im drunk fri/sat nights and its easier to talk to them when im drunk

plus i dont go to my high school, i take classes at the deadbeat community college so socializing with the ladies is terrible there, but i have tried.

Read my above post.

Dude, I have the exact same problem. I even made a thread about it a while back in S&A.

The unfortunate thing though, is that I have yet to find a solution. So I still have to drink if I ever want to be socially successful. And the difference between sober me and inebriated me is unbelievable.

Here's a link to the thread I made:

http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=1503737

Maybe you'll get some ideas from it.

If you find something that works, let me know!

Read above post.

Hey Ive been exactly there, and it isnt waht it seems like.

The alcohol does very little, its a fucken placebo.

"hey, im drunk now, im more scoial, voot"

Alcohol just makes it easier to get into that social state of mind, it can be reached sober.

Sorry, alcohol is NOT, and I repeat NOT a placebo.

I found replacing Alcohol with Coffee and pure and intense fear of social situations worked, because I just never ever shut up now.

YEAH, tell me how that works out....

I find that I'm a complete asshole when drunk. I'm normally a very honest person, but to a point where I can remain tact. When I'm drunk, everyone has 1030259 more flaws and I feel the need to point that out.

I'd rather smoke weed and go out and socialize than go out and drink and vice versa.

...anyone want to point out our lesson from this?

I know what you mean, but starting an addiction is not the correct answer. Maybe there is another, less damaging drug that would allow you to socialize. Weed? Low doses of stimulants? Try some other shit out before you commit to drinking.

I've tried everything else. The only thing that works is alcohol. To a lesser extent, benzos have worked, but I don't have steady access to them so that rules that option out, leaving only alcohol.

:(

It means your social skills fucking suck. Go talk to more girls, get back to me when you've met 100 new girls.

I've met well over 100 girls and it still hasn't gone away. I think there's more to it than social skills.

I mean, I must have good social skills if I'm a very social person when I'm intoxicated. I mean, alcohol doesn't tell you what to say or how to behave, it only allows you to do things you wouldn't normally be able to do so easily sober.

It means your social skills fucking suck. Go talk to more girls, get back to me when you've met 100 new girls.



That's insightful. Tell us how its done Don Juan.

I don't know about all of the others in this thread, but my problem isn't with shyness in meeting people. It's a problem interacting normally and naturally with people. I'm talking about just a general discomfort in sober situations, like...strong awkwardness in even the simplest of situations.

If I had to describe it...it's like most others are just naturally reacting to the flow of the world, whereas I have to pretend like I'm reacting to the flow of the world. So, when something happens, I'm often just left feeling aimless and I have to consciously think about what to do. Again, it's not really a shyness, but more of a feeling like I'm in a human disguise and have to blend in as much as I can. That sounds corny, but that's more or less how I'd describe it.

As far as girls, that's a different problem in and of itself. I just often feel really unmotivated and uninterested when it comes to interacting with them. I want them, sure, but when I'm sober I just don't have the energy. When I'm drunk I guess I can ignore the fact that I have 0 interest in them as people and happily focus on trying to hook up...

EDIT: You know what, maybe the reason alcohol helps is because it puts you in a constant state of happiness. I mean, even just sitting somewhere doing nothing gets 10x better when you're drunk. That makes me think that I might just be depressed, although I feel quite happy on my own.

This shit is really confusing. (BTW gadzooks, I'll you on MSN at some point. I'm semi-studying/semi-posting on Totse)