Yesterday evening eldest Useless Object (19) comes home with a question.

Son:" Daaad, how many cans of lager does it take to get someone pissed?"

Me:"Kinda depends on what lager, what strength blah blah blah. But your body size , probably 8 cans or so would have you staggering.

Son: " Well Dad, I've just drunk 22 cans and I feel fine"

Me:" Son, trust me, i'm a proffesional alcoholic and there is no way you could physically drink 22 cans in an evening and not pass out"

Son: " Buuut Daaaad I did, I swear!"

Me:"What sort of beer?"

Son:"Big cans of Carlsberg"

Me:" No way jose, 22 cans of Carlsy and you'd be comatosed, don't talk crap , boy"

Son: " I'm not talking crap Dad, 22 big silver cans of Carlsberg!!"

Me: " Big silver cans? You sure it read 'Carlsberg' and not 'Kaliber' ?"

Son: "That was it, same thing innit!"

Me: " Your gonna feel like shite in the morning"

For those who don't get the giggle http://www.weeklygripe.co.uk/AImg/kaliber.jpg

I mean, most teenage boys like to try and impress with just how much they can drink but....

I would reply with something a little more witty but I'm in the middle of fapping.

Not to question the quality of your sperm, but did you stand in front of a microwave 19 years ago, or did your wife do so?

This will do just fine.

Damn, yo' son is stupid as hell.

I never understood the point of alcohol-free beer.

Funny story though :D

Do you know if someone was playing a prank on him or was it just his lack of knowledge on the subject (or willingness to read the can)...

LOL yeah. But the thing is he ain't stupid, infact IQ wise he probably walks over most people.

He just has no 'nouse' y'know, no 'common sense' type thing?

Wow, I was maybe 13 when my dad picked me up some alcohol-free beer and I noticed the label within 30 seconds of seeing the cans, ticked me off.

Don't worry jack, my gf lacks that same common sense despite being brilliant in her studies. I feel your pain.

I used to know this chinese kid who was clumsy and would walk into walls and stuff.

Not relevant.

Genius.

Don't worry jack, my gf lacks that same common sense despite being brilliant in her studies. I feel your pain.

We're all entitled to a daily Stupidity Spasm or Blond Moment, just with him its all the bloody time!

That's pure gold. How could he not know? :D

Kaliber sales must have spiked that day.

We're all entitled to a daily Stupidity Spasm or Blond Moment, just with him its all the bloody time!

Ditto, she can finish telling me about some pharmaceuticals or treatment for some disability that I wouldn't expect a doctor to know, then something so clueless/obvious or plain dumb comes out of her mouth it floors me. Daily. God I love the girl but sometimes, wow.

Do you find it annoying how your son say "dad"?


"DAAAAAAAAAAAAD" I'd murder my kid if he keep that up.

Its worse when he does it german = 'Paaaapaaa'

I say get him drunk fur rlz.

Its worse when he does it german = 'Paaaapaaa'

I always thought papa is dad in spanish?

That's the name I call my grandpa.

Sure is.

I never understood the point of alcohol-free beer.


mormons?

Its worse when he does it german = 'Paaaapaaa'

Nicole?

Nicole?

??? thats too obscure even for me.

??? thats too obscure even for me.

Ah c'mon, you don't remember the "Papa?" "Nicole?" Citroen adverts?

mormons?

Yeah, but does anyone actually like the taste of beer? I really don't see the point in non-alcoholic beer, I won't even drink regular beer.

Yeah, but does anyone actually like the taste of beer? I really don't see the point in non-alcoholic beer, I won't even drink regular beer.

It is what it is. I like drinking it because it's beer, and the taste is good for what it is.

Now, if I'm not gonna get a buzz, I'd rather have something sweet.

LOL yeah. But the thing is he ain't stupid, infact IQ wise he probably walks over most people.

He just has no 'nouse' y'know, no 'common sense' type thing?

Seems like it's always one or the other...

Carlsberg Export is quite nice.

And 8 bottles of that has me sufficiently drunk.

Wow, no that was a dumb thing he did. Mind you i cant talk, I'm smart as hell and according to most people the "oracle" or "superman" because i seem to know what people want to know/are going to say without them even saying it most of the time.

At the same time though i can and have spent 45 minutes trying to find my sunglasses to go out in the summer before i realized they were on my head. In that time i must have passed the mirrors in the house about 15 times in total, so thats about 60 collectively and never noticed them on my head.

lol reminds me of my younger sister (16) who recently got caught because she had stolen a bunch of beers from the basement and hidden them randomly around her room(retarded in its own way) but the funniest part is that about half the ones she took were O'Dules which is non-alcoholic.

Im sure, the way 16yo girls are, that if they did get away with it and drink it they would have acted all drunk and been stumbling around anyway


Yeah, but does anyone actually like the taste of beer? I really don't see the point in non-alcoholic beer, I won't even drink regular beer.

One of my dad's friends used to be a raging alcoholic before he quit. He drinks Odules now. I dont know if its becacuse he likes the taste and its a substitute, or if its because he feels like he fits in with the guys better than if he was drinking a sprite or something.

Hahahaha. I don't know why this made me lol so hard.

So...do they teach English kids how to read?

I have asked myself that same question many many times.

i bet the people who were with him were rather amused

reminds me of the time i drunk alcohol free pear cider

however it was delicious and when i found out it was alcohol free it turned out to make a great mixer for vodka

fuck I can't drink that much liquid. My I'd be pukin it up all over.
ketch you got weird genes man.